


All In, All the Time

by Jerry_Larchive



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: F/M, The Only Easy Day Was Yesterday Sequel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-25
Updated: 2017-09-12
Packaged: 2018-11-04 22:37:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 31
Words: 92,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11000451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jerry_Larchive/pseuds/Jerry_Larchive
Summary: Japril is no more. Jackson has moved on and April and Harriet have moved out. Caught off guard after what happened in Montana, April is determined to put an emotionally troubled past behind her and figure out how to make her way forward as a single mother. But her past isn't quite ready to be put behind her altogether.





	1. Aftermath

**Author's Note:**

> STOP! Don't read this without reading my previous story "The Only Easy Day Was Yesterday".  
> More than a shameless plug for another work, what happens in this story will make no sense whatsoever if you don't read that one to the end. (but I do hope you like it)
> 
> To all appearances the S13 finale put an end to Japril. Silly me, I never dreamed they would do that so I'd foolishly threatened to write a sequel to TOEDWY (yes "TOEDWY" - Now that I write it out it kind of makes me laugh ;-) if they did. But they appear to have called my bluff and have to face the consequences, or rather you do, if you go on and read this story.
> 
> Be warned! This is NOT really a Japril story. I just needed AO3 to consider it one for filtering purposes. This one is entirely about April. But Jackson does make some important cameos.
> 
> Finally, the title is yet another motto associated with the US Navy SEALs - if you heeded the warning above you know what that's about :-)

It's a common tendency for people, when revisiting the site of a catastrophe, to experience an emotional reaction, almost like an earthquake's aftershock, that forces them to relive some of the emotions they experienced during the original event. For April Kepner, her twice daily walk across the parking lot and into the ER is what triggered that phenomenon.

She couldn't help but cast a glance toward that particular place in the hospital lot, the place the three of them were standing that night, when she saw it. The look. She had recognized it immediately. She knew him so well, it was impossible for her not to catch it even if Maggie hadn't.

For April, the catastrophe of that night six weeks ago hadn't been the explosion and fire. In reality, that had been more inconvenience than catastrophe, particularly since the only life lost was a rapist. April was pretty certain that Jesus knew just what to do with those, so she wasn't going to lose any sleep over that. The biggest loss to Grey Sloan had been Stephanie. She would be missed. April would miss her. And if anyone would have suggested three years ago that would be the case, she would have had a good laugh about it. But based on what Deluca had relayed to everyone about her conversation with Richard, it seemed to April that Edwards would be better off for the chance to go find what will make her happy. So April was at peace with that too.

No, for April, the catastrophe had been what had taken place in that particular place in the parking lot. The look Jackson had given Maggie had spoken volumes to those that could read him. That select group included April Kepner. What she saw was not only that Jackson had feelings for Maggie, but also that his feelings for April had changed. But not in the way she thought that morning in the bed they had shared in Bozeman.

Later, after she had a chance to digest and reflect on everything, she had realized that her catastrophe had begun almost as soon as they had returned to Seattle from that trip and been slowly and inexorably unfolding since then. That night had just confirmed for her what she had begun to suspect and the role other players had in it. Thinking about where they found themselves today and where they were at the end of the Montana trip, April could hardly believe only a month and a half had passed.

  
  


April told herself not to get too far ahead of herself, that last night and this morning didn't mean that all the problems between them had been solved. But she couldn't help feeling elated. Part of her elation was, no doubt, due to the intimacy they had shared, which always seemed to her to be amazing. Her hunger for him that way never ceased to surprise her. She knew Jesus must be disappointed in her as He must have seen right through her insincere attempts to pray that desire away.

The greater part of her happiness though was due to her conviction that it was their time together in saving the patient, in inventing a procedure, in snatching victory from the jaws of defeat, that had finally broken through the walls and brought them back together. Add to that Jackson finally attaining a measure of closure with his father and April was positive the seeds had been laid, no pun intended, for them to begin to heal the wounds that still separated them and get on track to reunite. But in the relatively short time it had taken to get back to the house, doubt had already begun to seep back into April's mind and erode some of that good feeling.

For one thing, Jackson seemed to withdraw more with each mile they traveled. She tried to make eye contact with him as often as possible in the car but he didn't reciprocate. Rather, when they did make contact, April's smile of encouragement was met with a restrained expression on his part. As the car pulled up in front of the house, it occurred to April that returning to Seattle was prompting Jackson to again let thinking take precedence over feeling, always a less desirable path where his relationship with April was concerned.

Pleading exhaustion, Jackson had retreated almost immediately to his room and any hopes April had of a repeat of the previous night's sexual activity, or of talking about their situation, had vanished into thin air. The following day she was frustrated again to find Jackson had departed early for the hospital. It was impossible for her to keep the suspicion of intent on his part to avoid her from beginning to creep into her thoughts.

Suspicion gave way to educated guess to conviction in the course of the next several weeks. It didn't help that April accompanied Catherine to Chicago for a week. But when she returned, she never saw Jackson at the hospital even when they were working at the same time. Neither were they crossing paths at home. Jackson was spending all his time treating Maggie's mother and becoming deeply involved in their personal drama. This didn't alarm April at the time as she knew Jackson had considered Maggie a sibling due to their parents marriage. Besides, she had plenty of other things to alarm her about Jackson.

While the antagonism from him during the Minnick thing had been most unpleasant, at least it had been something. Now it had been replaced by …, what? Distance? A vacuum? Her history with Jackson had always been _**something**_. Friendship, passion, love, anger, frustration, _**something**_. It terrified her to think that for the first time ever, it could best be described as _**nothing**_. Had they gone from sharing a bed in Montana to being _acquaintances_? It didn't seem possible to her. But without interaction with Jackson to allow her to get her bearings, she had no way of figuring out what was going on. She could only hope for this strange time to pass so she could get a clue as to what was going on with him, with them.

Then came the night of the explosion and she finally had her clue. In that particular spot in the parking lot. She realized that Jackson no longer thought of Maggie as a sister, that his feelings had changed radically. And that development meant that he no longer thought of April as he had before. Which made her wonder what place, if any, she now occupied in his life. She didn't have long to wait for an answer.

The next night, as she fed Harriet in their daughter's room, Jackson appeared in the doorway. He avoided her eyes and she knew Maggie had followed her advice to talk to him about their feelings. She also knew that she had been right about what she thought she saw.

“Can we talk?” he had said.

“Not here.” she had replied. She didn't want Harriet in the room when her parents put an end to their relationship. “I'll come find you after she's down.”

He had nodded and hastily departed the doorway.

When at last she emerged and found him sitting with his head in his hands at the kitchen table, the conversation was very civil. Yes, she told him, Maggie had been correct, she had seen the looks they had exchanged and interpreted them. Yes, he told her, the interpretation had been correct, on both Jackson and Maggie's parts. They had feelings for each other. April recalled a time long ago when Jackson had surprised her by proclaiming lots of feelings for her too. And she had realized that their trysts meant much more than she had guessed. And she wondered to herself why their time in Montana hadn't.

“I never saw this coming.” he had said as though it should make her feel better. So many things he, they, had never seen coming. He had never seen himself standing up in a barn during her wedding and proclaiming his love for her, demanding she make a momentous choice. They certainly never saw the tragedy of Samuel's loss coming as a direct result of the choice she'd made that day. Nor had they seen everything else that would set in motion; Jordan, divorce, Harriet, and finally, this last chapter. Thanks for that, she had thought, I'm so glad that you never anticipated falling in love with someone else and out of love with me.

But she kept her thoughts to herself. What would be the point of expressing them? To make him feel guilty? To somehow dampen his excitement at embarking on a new relationship? Tempting, but it wasn't who she was. His feelings for her may have changed but she still bore love for him in her heart. She knew she always would. But that too would never be the same. That ship had already sailed, hadn't it? Even if he suddenly broke down and renounced Maggie and begged her to take him back, it was too late. So she just nodded, stood, and left the table. There was no point in throwing fortune cookies at him now, even had they been readily available.

Two weeks later, she had moved Harriet and herself out of his house and into an apartment close by the hospital. He hadn't argued the move this time, nor tried to talk her out of it. Both knew their time of sharing a living space was over for good. The one positive thing to come out of this time was that they already had a plan for sharing Harriet. They would stick with it. And there would be no fighting. Jackson had even insisted on buying all the new furniture for Harriet's room in April's apartment, so they wouldn't have to change much in her room at his place.

With her last load in the car, April had taken one last look around and turned to go when Jackson intercepted her to hug her one last time. She endured it but didn't encourage it. She needed a clean break to survive this and having him touching her was not helpful. He released her and she was gone. It would be a long time before she crossed that threshold again.

  
  


Now, a month later, April felt she was finally settling into a routine again. She had thrown herself into her work and that had helped, though the chance encounter with Jackson was still painful, especially so if Maggie was also in his company. She also found herself missing Maggie's friendship, which had suffered during the now departed Minnick era, but rebounded strongly prior to the explosion. April compensated by spending more time with Arizona, but that was only partly helpful as Arizona also was struggling to recover from a broken relationship. It turns out that misery actually  _ doesn't _ like company. 

But it seemed that everyone else at Grey Sloan was preoccupied with drama of their own. Owen, Amelia, and Riggs were dealing with the return of Meaghan. Alex and Jo were dealing with some sort of thing of their own. Bailey and Ben remained in their own bubble for the most part and besides, Ben was Jackson's closest friend. Meredith and April had never been close so April didn't consider going there. Even Richard and Catherine no longer seemed to know how to treat her.

Aside from Harriet, for the first time since coming to Seattle, April Kepner found herself truly alone.

 


	2. Forward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jackson has Harriet for the weekend and April has no plans until she receives a call from a California number.

Jackson was already at daycare when April walked in. It was the start of his half of the week with Harriet so neither was surprised to find the other there.

“Hey.” he said, pausing from his struggle to get Harriet's arm into her baby hoodie.

“Hey.” she answered, coming over to assist. Once Harriet was wrangled into her outfit, Jackson picked up her diaper bag and the soft cooler as well.

“Wow, heavy, you must have been pumping like a demon.” he remarked. Although Harriet had been started on solids a few months earlier, she still socked away copious amounts of breast milk each night.

“Well, you complained about being afraid of running out last week so...”

“I don't think I complained exactly. Its just that I can't run out to the store if I run out, you know.”

“But you could just run over to my place to get more.” April replied.

“Trying not to invade your space and cross your boundaries.” Jackson answered. “Besides, how awkward would it be if I showed up at your door and you had someone there?”

April wasn't sure if Jackson was fishing for information or not. But she didn't feel like revealing the next to zero possibility of that happening so she just nodded and said nothing.

“Got any plans for the next few days of freedom?” Jackson asked as casually as he could.

He is fishing, thought April. He just can't help himself I guess. She was reminded how, before she and Jackson had become a public thing, his mother had been obsessed with her sex life. Like mother like son, she concluded. Well, she would not be biting.

“The usual.” she answered. She kissed Harriet and turned to go. “If you do run out of milk for some reason, come and get more. Just call first.” she added. Chew on that, Mr Avery.

In truth, this would be her second weekend without Harriet. They had settled on a simple pattern for splitting weeks, whoever had the three day period had it from Friday to Sunday, while the four day turn ran from Monday through Thursday. It was a good system as it allowed an uninterrupted weekend every other week. But it sort of sucked if you were in the Mon-Thur cycle and happened to have to work each of the days. Of course, it sucked worse if the same thing happened on your weekend cycle.

Returning to the ER to finish her shift, April thought about what she would do with her weekend. She wasn't on at the hospital but she had made no plans. She suspected the weekend would go much like her last, with her cleaning the apartment, binge watching the last two seasons of Everwood, and possibly joining Arizona for a drink or two, though her efforts at being wingwoman to the peds surgeon had failed miserably last time. Who knew that a gay lesbian bar wasn't the best place in the world to make God's plan small talk?

She was on the way to her car, having already passed THAT spot, when her cell phone vibrated with an incoming call. She didn't recognize the number or the area code, 609, which her phone identified as being Coronado, CA. She had never even heard of Coronado, much less knew someone there that would call her. She feared it was one of those calls promising her a cruise or other all expenses paid trip that _only_ required her to sit through a high pressure, two hour sales presentation. But as a testament to her loneliness, she decided to answer it. At least _someone_ wanted to talk to her.

She almost dropped her phone when she heard the voice on the other end identify themselves.

“Doc? Doc Kepner? This is Tarp, uh, Roland Tarpley, ma'am. You remember me maybe? From Jordan?”

April's immediate thought was that something had happened to Abbott, something bad. “Tarp, of course I remember you. What is it? Is it Abbott?” she couldn't keep herself from asking. It was Abbott after all who had insisted on going back into the field even after acknowledging that he suffered from Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome. He had promised her that he wouldn't do anything stupid and get himself killed. Had yet another man broken his promise to her?

She heard Tarpley chuckle. “Yes, ma'am, this is about the Chief.”

“Is he alright?” April interrupted impatiently. Tarpley wouldn't be chuckling if something bad had happened, would he?

“As good as ever.” replied the SEAL. Does Tarpley know about Abbott's PTSD, April wondered?

“Okay.” April answered, drawing out the second syllable.

After a moment, Tarpley decided April was going to let him get to the point so he proceeded.

“Doc, the Chief is getting a pretty big honor and me and the guys thought you might want to be here for it.”

April digested what the soldier had just told her. Abbott was getting honored in some sort of way. Tarpley and the guys, Ruiz? Davis?, they were the only other surviving members of the SEAL team she had befriended in Jordan, wondered if she wanted to be there for it. _There_ must be California. Abbott must be in California, not overseas in some horrible place. Not being shot at, blown up, or in crashing aircraft, or ambulances for that matter.

“Doc, you still there?” came the voice on the phone. April realized she had been so busy thinking that she had forgotten Tarpley was waiting for her to say something.

“Where and when?” she asked.

“Here, Coronado, Saturday afternoon.”

“Saturday? THIS Saturday?”

“Yes, ma'am.”

April considered for a moment. She did have the weekend off and Jackson had Harriet.

“Where is Coronado?” she asked.

Tarpley laughed. “Mission Bay, San Diego.”

San Diego? April had heard of that. She guessed it was maybe a three or four hour flight from Seattle. She had an early shift tomorrow, Friday, so if she could get a flight in the late afternoon or early evening, she could be in San Diego tomorrow night.

“What should I wear if I can make it to this thing?”

Tarpley laughed again. “Doc, you're asking a guy who's been wearing a uniform for as long as he can remember what you should wear? You might as well ask me how to knit one of those blanket things.”

“You mean a quilt?” April asked.

'Yeah, that.”

April laughed. “OK, let me ask like this. How big a deal is this?”

“Doc, this is big. Abbott's getting the Navy Cross.”

“Navy Cross?”

“Yeah, it's the second highest military honor that can be given to a member of the Navy, Marines, or Coasties. Only the Congressional Medal of Honor is higher. The frickin Secretary of the Navy is going to be here to present it. And our top officer will be here too. Doc, it's frickin huge.”

“Okay, that tells me what I needed to know. Now, one last question.” April hesitated. She was afraid to ask only because she was afraid of the answer. It could prove devastating to her right now in her current state. But she had to know.

“Does Abbott want me there?”

“Doc, how do you think I got your cell number?” Tarpley answered and April felt a thrill go through her.

“Oh, and Doc, don't book a hotel. We've got a room for you at the Del.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How is this going so far? 
> 
> I keep going back and forth about how I want to portray Jackson in this story. Should he be good Jackson, who wants April to be as happy as he is? Or should he be not so good Jackson, who still retains enough jealous feelings toward April that he'd rather not see her find too much happiness too fast? I'm on the fence. Anybody want to weigh in? Can't guarantee I'll follow your advice but I'm pretty interested.
> 
> Thanks for reading. Comments are really welcome as this one is really risky given the current state of Japril. Hope its not too soon.


	3. Coronado

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> April arrives in Coronado and is reunited with her SEAL friends from Jordan, including the SEAL responsible for her introduction to Abbott and team in the first place. She also meets some other people from Abbott's life who have also gathered to attend the medal ceremony. April is also surprised to learn where Abbott has been since leaving Seattle.

April's 5:25 Alaska Air flight landed precisely on time in San Diego at 8:08 PM. A much shorter flight than she had imagined, it had still been an expensive proposition at such short notice. Entering the terminal she made a beeline toward the bathroom, her roller-bag trailing behind her. That business resolved, she made her way toward the security exit, opening her Uber app as she walked. But she didn't make it too far.

“Doc K!” called a familiar voice.

April stopped short and her face gave birth to a broad smile. “Taco, is that really you?”

Taco Ruiz, in civilian clothes and grinning broadly himself, stepped forward to hug April tightly. If April had doubted the reception she might receive from the men she had last seen in Jordan shortly after Murphy's death, Ruiz's embrace dispelled it. She wondered if Abbott had spoken to them.

The Homeland Security officer sitting nearby partially rose from her chair, nervous at Ruiz proximity to the imaginary line that separated the secure area from the outside, and seemed about to say something but sat back down when Tarpley, in his navy cammo utilities, his SEAL special warfare trident insignia on his chest, also came forward.

“Doc.”

“Tarp.” April hugged him tightly as well. She realized how much she had missed these men. The time they had shared in Jordan had been the most intense period of her life. That it had eventually cost her her marriage didn't diminish the bond she felt with them.

“So, what are you guys doing here?” she asked when she finally released the SEAL from her grasp.

“Picking you up, of course.” answered Tarpley.

“But how did you even know what flight I was on?” she asked in amazement.

Tarpley shot the TSA agent a covert look. “Better you don't ask, Doc. We do happen to have some connections you know.”

April looked to Ruiz for confirmation. He just grinned. She had forgotten the world the SEALs lived in.

On the drive over to Coronado, Ruiz and Tarpley filled her in on what they had been up to since she had last seen them. Ruiz, now a civilian, revealed that he was recently engaged, and enjoying civilian life immensely. Soon, he had his phone out, showing April a few dozen pictures of his fiancée.

Tarpley, in keeping with his status as an active duty SEAL, had much less he could reveal but April gathered that he remained single, proud to still be serving, and happy to continue to be a part of Abbott's team. Then he surprised her.

“You know, I actually saw you not too long ago.”

“Wait, what? When? Where?”

“Up in Seattle. Around February. I was sitting in the parking lot waiting for Abbott when I saw you drive up and run into the building with your baby.”

“You have a baby?” Ruiz interupted.

“Yes, I have a little girl. She just turned one though so I'm not sure I can still call her a baby.” she answered the former SEAL. She turned to Tarpley.

“February? That was when Abbott finished at my hospital and left to start another deployment.”

“Roger that, Doc. I was there to pick him up.”

“But why didn't you say something?”

“Doc, you looked to be in quite a hurry and to be honest, I wasn't even sure that it was you until the Chief came out and confirmed it.”

April remembered why she had been in such a hurry. Jackson had called her and warned her that Abbott was planning on slipping out without giving her a chance to say goodbye. She had driven much faster than she normally would with Harriet in the car to catch him that day. And she had been glad she did.

Tarpley took his eyes off the road to briefly look at her. “Imagine, the Chief ends up working a stretch at the very same hospital you work at. The Lord sure works in mysterious ways doesn't He?”

April stared at the SEAL, wondering just what he meant by that.

Ruiz, oblivious to the undercurrent of the conversation between his two companions, interrupted again.

“Well, Doc, are you gonna show me some pictures of that little girl or not?”

  


When April noticed they were on a bridge with water underneath them, Tarpley explained that Coronado is nominally an island in Mission Bay. It's called an island even though it's truly a peninsula that extends almost all the way south to Mexico. While it is dominated by the naval base, there is a town there as well to cater to the residents, mainly navy retirees, and tourists that flock to San Diego for its beauty, recreational activities, and perfect weather.

Tarpley expertly navigated the car across the island and soon, the amazing Hotel del Coronado came into view. Lit up against the deepening night, it was a spectacular monument to the grand old style hotel it is.

Alighting from the car, April looked up at the hotel with wide eyes. “What is this place?” she asked.

“The famous Hotel del Coronado. Its been here for over a hundred, twenty-five years. Presidents, royalty, celebrities have all stayed here. FDR stayed here. Its on the National Historic Places register. The Del is awesome.” proclaimed Tarpley.

'Wait, did you say _the Del_ , as in, _we have a room for you at the Del_?” asked April, looking at Tarpley with a worried expression on her face. There was no way she could afford this place on her budget, especially after paying full fare for her flights.

Tarpley seemed to be reading her mind. “Relax, Doc, your stay is all taken care of.”

“By who?” asked a still shocked April.

“An anonymous benefactor.” answered the SEAL.

“You?”

“Ha! Not at my pay grade. It's someone you've never met so don't go getting a bee in your bonnet about it.”

His use of that expression reminded her of Murphy. It sounded like something he would have said.

“Why would a stranger pay for my room?”

“Maybe they like what they've heard about you. Now, lets go inside and get you checked in. Then we can head for the bar and join the others. There's a few folks anxious to see you.”

Tarpley grabbed her rollerbag from the car and began carrying it toward the entrance to the hotel. Ruiz merely bowed and extended his arm like a doorman to indicate that she should follow. And that concluded the discussion on who this mysterious benefactor was who had heard such good things about her that they had paid for her to stay at one of the nicest hotels on the west coast.

After a quick and smooth check-in at the front desk, the bellman took custody of her bag for delivery to her room, and the three made their way toward the ornate Babcock and Story bar.

  


The bar was crowded, as one would expect on a Friday night, but Tarpley, with his height, was able to spot the party he was looking for and motioned for April and Taco to follow. They made their way through the loud and boisterous crowd to where a group of people had gathered around two tables that had been pushed together and were drinking, talking, and laughing as Tarpley, Kepner, and Ruiz emerged from the crowd.

As soon as the people around the tables saw the newcomers the conversation died and all the faces turned toward them. Each had a smile for them. But on one face, the smile faded as quickly as it had appeared. That face belonged to Samuel Abbott and April realized in that moment that he had no idea she was coming.

“Chief,” April heard Tarpley announce over the din of the music and noise of the bar, “look what the cat dragged in.”

April's jaw dropped. Abbott saw it and slowly his look of surprise gave way to dawning realization that April had been shanghaied into coming here. And he knew immediately who was responsible. Their grins were evidence enough. Tarpley and Ruiz joined Davis at the table and the three of them exchanging fist bumps, cemented their guilt. Abbott shook his head. Poor April, he thought, she's really a lamb among the wolves with this crew.

He immediately went to her and, for the first time, it was Abbott that initiated the hug between them. After a brief moment, he released her and she looked up into his face.

“I'm so sorry. I thought ...”

“I'm really glad you came, April. It is so great to see you. Now let me introduce you to everyone.”

But before he could start, one of the men arose from his seat along with the woman beside him and they both came forward.

“Chief? Is this her?” he asked.

“Yeah, it sure is.” Abbott answered.

“Ma'am, request permission to hug you.” the fair-haired young man said to April. But he didn't wait for her answer and wrapped her into his arms anyway. And when he released her, the woman at his side did the same. When April had been thoroughly hugged and was at last free again, she looked questioningly between the man and Abbott, who stood smiling next to her.

“You don't remember me, do you ma'am?” said the man, smiling.

Abbott spoke up. “Doctor Kepner, this is Scott Triplett, and his wife Maureen. You saved his life one night in Jordan, a long time ago.”

Tears were streaming down Maureen Triplett's face. April remembered. That was the night, her first month in Jordan, that she first met the SEALs. Abbott had been holding Scott Triplett's femoral artery. Scott had coded twice on the operating table that night and twice Abbott and April had refused to give him up and brought him back. Speechless, April felt a tear of her own trickle down her face.

She turned to Abbott. Without thinking he reached out to catch the tear with his finger, much as he had done on his way out of her ER several months ago. It wasn't until he had done it that he registered the look on April's face. Turning to look at his companions he saw some had witnessed the action as well. Well, there goes that classified information, he acknowledged.

They had drank and talked until well after midnight. Besides the Tripletts, April met two other couples, the Coopers and the Rogers. Bill Cooper was another former SEAL who had led the first team Abbott had been part of. Abbott would later tell her that he had tried to emulate Cooper when he had been given the leadership role himself.

The Rogers were unique to this gathering as neither had ever been in the service. Ephram Rogers was an accountant for one of the big five accounting firms, April didn't catch which one, while his wife, Hannah, was a Radiologist Assistant at Children's Hospital Los Angeles. This, of course, did capture April's interest. That she was a health care professional at a major hospital was the primary attention getter. But secondarily, also like April, Hannah was a redhead with a bright smile and lively eyes. She looked familiar but April couldn't decide if it was because she had seen her before (unlikely) or she so closely resembled the person she saw in the mirror every day.

After the round of introductions, Tarpley, Ruiz, and Davis beckoned her to join them. She too had figured out they were responsible for her surprise appearance here. But if she was mad about it at all, it didn't last beyond the first few seconds of their entrance.

April hugged Clifford Davis, noting the partial paralysis of his right side, the result of the action in Afghanistan that had earned Abbott the honor he would receive the next day. Otherwise he looked great, fit, and in good spirits. He filled her in on his life after leaving the service. He had returned to Baton Rouge and his wife and they were now expecting their first child. The due date's proximity had necessitated Davis attend alone and April promised him she'd pray for the baby to wait for his return to be born.

Before long the conversation fell into a familiar rhythm. Just as in Jordan, the men brought up old stories, teased each other about mishaps and the crazy things they had experienced, and it seemed to April as though they had somehow entered a time machine and been transported back to Jordan, minus the heat, and sand, and, most tragically, Michael Murphy.

Tarpley was recounting a story about the guys going body surfing somewhere in Africa and then being told afterwards that the water they had been swimming in had been teeming with dangerous sharks. April found herself looking down the table where something Abbott was saying had both the Coopers and Rogers laughing hysterically.

He's different somehow, she thought. He seems more... relaxed, maybe? As she watched, Abbott took a drink and his eyes shifted and met hers. April immediately averted her gaze, and looked down at her own drink. She could feel herself blushing furiously at being caught staring at him. After a moment, she dared to sneak another glance in Abbott's direction and found him looking at her with a smile on his face. He raised his glass in salute and she had no choice but to do the same. He must think I'm an idiot, she thought. But the expression on his face appeared more thoughtful than amused.

Then April noted another set of eyes turning in her direction. Hannah Rogers, sitting across from Abbott, saw him raise his glass and, following his gaze down the table, saw April returning the gesture. That brought a smile to Hannah's face as well. It's about damned time, Hannah thought, though she was concerned about April's resemblance to Abbott's late wife and how much of the attraction that might be attributable to.

The little group shifted and mingled and eventually April found herself sitting next to Maureen Triplett, who was voicing concern over leaving her young children with Scott's mother back in San Antonio. Hannah Rogers slid in next to April and reassured Maureen that it was perfectly fine and normal for children like hers to have a night or two away from their parents, especially with a doting grandmother. “The biggest thing to worry about,” she said, “was having them spoiled to death.”

“That sounds like the voice of experience talking.” said April, smiling at her.

“Oh yeah, I've got the battle scars to prove it too.”

They both laughed.

“I understand you're at Children's Hospital in LA?” April asked.

“Yes, in Radiology. And you're a trauma surgeon up at Grey Sloan in Seattle?”

“That's right.”

“But you met Sam in Jordan?”

For a moment April wasn't sure who she was referring to. She'd never actually heard anyone call Abbott by his first name. And hearing the name Samuel, immediately conjured up another image in her mind.

“Yes, that's right. I was there for a year at the same time he was.”

“So that's how you know all that crew.” Hannah gestured over to where Tarpley, Ruiz, and Davis were entertaining Trish Cooper with stories about her husband's SEAL adventures while he stood by to censor anything that he deemed unfit for his wife's consumption.

“That's the way of it.” admitted April.

“You must be a tough lady to put up with that.” Hannah laughed as Bill Rogers suddenly interrupted a sketchy Tarpley tale about a shore leave in Hong Kong.

“I've got three sisters so all of a sudden having six brothers was kind of a shock to my system. Fortunately, being a surgeon I'm not too squeamish about bodily functions or it might have been much worse.”

Hannah found that amusing and laughed again.

“So what is your connection to this group?” April asked her.

“Oh, that's right, no reason you would know. I'm Sam's sister-in-law, well former, I guess. He was married to my sister, Amy.”

And then it dawned on April why this woman had looked familiar. Abbott had shown her a picture of his late wife and April had been struck by the resemblance they had shared. Hannah Rogers looked an awful lot like her sister had in the pic. And April was again struck by the fact that she herself shared a strong resemblance to Abbott's deceased wife. It awakened a vague uneasiness in her.

She saw Hannah Rogers looking at her intently. She wondered if Hannah was also conscious of it and whether it evoked any concern on her part. If so, April couldn't tell from her expression.

  


The gathering didn't break up until last call at the bar. The Coopers, Tripletts and the Rogers bid goodnight to April and the SEALs and April was glad to find out they would all be attending the ceremony the next day. Ruiz assisted Davis to his feet. In this case it was alcohol, rather than paralysis that was giving him difficulty. Tarpley, though also a bit inebriated, came to assist and the three made their way out to the hotel parking lot. April looked at Abbott in alarm. “None of them are fit to drive.” she said.

Abbott smiled at her concern. “Don't worry, I'm the designated driver tonight.”

“And how much did you have to drink?” she asked. She had seen him drain more than one glass tonight.

“Oh I drank a lot... of water.”

April smiled. “Wise choice, not showing up for your big thing hung over.”

“True, that is the smart play. But I actually am taking a break from alcohol at the moment.”

“Oh, since when?”

“Since a certain trauma surgeon tried to have me thrown out of the service for PTSD.”

“Which you admitted to but didn't let stop you from going back.” April fired back. She wasn't going to apologize for the effort to get Abbott diagnosed and she still felt strongly that Abbott should get out of the Navy and seek treatment for his condition.

“True. But I have done something about it. I realized it must be bad if you spotted it.” Abbott smiled at the petite redhead and her eyes narrowed. “So I did some research and began self medicating, as it were.”

“Self-medicating? How?” As a doctor, April took a very dim view of self medicating, even by doctors.

“Gave up alcohol for one thing. Who knew that getting drunk could exacerbate PTSD?”

“Yeah, who knew?” April asked dryly.

“I also found some guys to talk to. One guy, a chaplain, agreed to meet with me off the record so I wouldn't be discharged. And there's a support group too, that you can attend their meetings and not get reported.”

“Wait, where did you find all these people?” It was hard for April to believe these resources existed in the far away places the SEALs deployed to.

“Right here, in Coronado.” Abbott answered.

“So you've been here how long?” April asked.

“Pretty much since I left Seattle.” he answered.

“WHAT? You've been here? I thought they were sending you overseas again.”

“So did I. But then this Navy Cross thing happened and they changed my orders. I guess it would have been kind of tough on morale to have me go back and get killed before they could pin the medal on me.”

“So you'll go back after the medal ceremony?” April prompted.

“Well, funny you should ask.” Abbott replied.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So April's efforts to make Abbott confront his PTSD have born some fruit, though not quite what she had in mind. And what are his plans for after the ceremony?  
> Do they possibly include April or did that little slip up in the bar go unnoticed by everyone, including the trauma surgeon herself?


	4. Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abbott drags a hung over April out for a walk on the beach that allows them to get caught up.  
> He learns that Jackson has moved on. She learns that Abbott may not be deployed overseas again after all.  
> Seemingly unrelated developments. But sometimes they become significant, right? Just sayin.

April blindly reached for her phone. Who could be calling her this early? She had a panicked thought that something may have happened to Harriet. Then she saw it was Abbott. Why in the world was he calling her at, she checked the time, six o'clock? Ugh! April was normally an early riser but she hadn't made it to her bed until after two. And she'd had a few drinks. And only some hors d'oeuvres to buffer the effects of the alcohol. These factors conspired to make April quite unready to face the world when Abbott called.

“What?” she answered heavily.

“Hey, since Tarpley interrupted us last night, I wondered if you wanted to meet up this morning. Maybe take a walk on the beach? Or go for a run, if you'd prefer that?”

The Tarpley interruption he was referring to happened as Abbott and April had stood in the lobby, talking. Abbott had been about to answer April's inquiry about whether he was shipping back out after his medal ceremony. Tarpley had come back from the parking lot to report that Ruiz had fallen asleep in the back seat of the car and he was worried Davis might get sick. This intel had prompted Abbott to cut short the conversation and rush out to drive his friends back to their hotel in town.

“I didn't bring any running stuff.” April replied, holding her hand to her forehead.

“OK, a walk on the beach it is. Then everyone is meeting at your hotel for breakfast at ten so that will work out perfectly.”

“MmmHmmm.” April was dozing off again.

“So I'll be there in five minutes. Meet you in the lobby.”

“Wait, what? Five minutes?” She was about to protest but then she realized Abbott had hung up. She groaned, but managed to throw off her blanket and struggle to a sitting position on the side of the bed. Oh, this is going to be a tough day. But she dragged herself to her feet and staggered to the bathroom.

  
  


April arrived in the lobby to find Abbott waiting for her with a steaming cup of Starbucks coffee in his hand, which he immediately offered to her. She accepted it gratefully, squinting against the bright light that was already pouring in through the lobby windows and skylights.

As April sipped her coffee she peered over the edge of the cup at a wide awake and chipper Abbott, who appeared to have literally run here from wherever he had slept last night. He was wearing running shorts, running shoes, and a dryfit shirt emblazoned with “NAVY Damn the Torpedoes” on the front. On the back was a top down view of what appeared to be an aircraft carrier surrounded by numerous escort vessels. April noted that the shirt fit Abbott perfectly. Being stateside hadn't caused him to neglect his fitness she concluded.

“I told you I'm not running this weekend.” she advised the SEAL.

“Yeah, but I am. I figured I'd run over here, we'd take our walk, then I can run back.”

“And then come back again for breakfast?”

“Affirmative. I'd just stay but inflicting everyone with my sweaty presence at breakfast isn't showing too much appreciation for everyone coming out for this thing.”

“But you don't mind inflicting it on me, your sweaty presence I mean?” Somehow that came out a little suggestively thought April.

By his expression, Abbott appeared to be thinking the same thing.

“I guess I'm hoping you won't mind a little sweat between us.” he answered with that little smile he had when he said one thing and meant another.

April was familiar with that smile and couldn't stop herself from blushing, even in her depleted state. Best to change this subject fast.

“So where's your coffee?” she asked, noting the absence of a cup in his hands.

“I'll wait for breakfast. Besides, one of the benefits of not drinking alcohol is a marked decrease in the need for coffee.” he smiled brightly at her.

“You know I hate you a little bit right now, right?” April said to him.

“Careful, your perky is slipping.” he warned.

“It's already slipped and should be in bed recuperating.” she responded grumpily.

“Nothing a little walk on a beautiful beach won't cure.” laughed Abbott and he took her by the arm and escorted her toward the front door of the hotel.

Just beyond the doors of the Dell is a beautiful stretch of beach called Coronado Central Beach. The Dell anchors the southern end while the northern end extends into North Island Naval Air Station. Regularly deemed one of the finest beaches in America by various travel organizations, it literally sparkles and the soft sand underfoot practically begs for bare feet.

Even at this early hour the sun was bright and becoming brighter. Too bright for April's poor hung over eyes to take. She had forgotten to pack sunglasses on this trip. Fortunately for her, Abbott handed her his, insisting that he didn't need them.

April and Abbott made their way across to the firmer sand near where the waves extended onto the beach. Both shed their footwear so they could feel the sand between their toes as they walked.

“So when do you head back?” Abbott asked her.

“Tomorrow afternoon.” April replied. “I wasn't sure how many activities were involved in awarding the Navy Cross.”

Abbott laughed. “That will actually be a pretty short and simple ceremony. Shouldn't last more than an hour. And then I think there's a dinner being served on base. But you don't have to stick around for that if you don't want to.”

“Why wouldn't I want to?” April asked.

“Well, it's just if you've had enough of all this Navy and medal stuff by then. I mean I'd understand.” Abbott trailed off.

April punched him on the shoulder. “What are you talking about? Why do you think I'm here? I love this stuff. I love that they're honoring you like this. I love seeing the guys again.”

“The guys, huh?”

She was hoping he would bite on that.

“Well, I just saw you a few months ago so why would I come all this way for that?”

Abbott looked at her for a second then out toward the ocean and smiled. “OK, then. I'll tell the Navy to expect one more for dinner.”

April grinned. That coffee seems to be working, she thought. I feel a lot better now. That feeling was short-lived however.

“So, how's Jackson?” Abbott asked, looking down at the sand they walked over.

Trouble stirred in the pit of April's stomach. Not the kind associated with too much to drink the night before either. She hesitated, trying to think of what she should tell Abbott and what she shouldn't. Though part of her considered it none of his business, another part acknowledged that he had inadvertently played a role in her turbulent relationship with Jackson. One of his final acts in that regard had been to share with Jackson what he knew of April's time in Jordan in hopes that understanding her would help lead to forgiving her.

It had seemed to have helped for a little while. But eventually the roller coaster that was their relationship had stopped for good. April just wasn't sure she knew how to talk about it yet. With anyone.

“He's fine.” she hesitated. “I think he's fine.”

That brought Abbott's attention back to her face. “You think?”

“We're over now. Really over. I'd rather not talk about it.”

Abbott shook his head. “What the fuck? What is wrong with that idiot? Do I need to come up there and kick some sense into his sorry ass?”

“No, it's fine, really. He found someone else and we parted as friends. We'll always be linked together by Harriet, of course, but that's all. End of story. Now can we please talk about something else?”

Abbott again looked off toward the Pacific. He could tell it wasn't _fine_ , that April was hurt and hurting still. He remembered her cornering him in the ER at Grey Sloan and threatening him with harm if he hurt Jackson again. Well, she may not know it but he felt the same way about her. Anyone hurting her would have to deal with him. And Jackson now appeared atop that list. It was fortunate for the plastics fellow that he was twelve hundred miles away right now or April might have been challenged with following through on her threat.

It would only be later, as he ran the beach back to his base, that his initial instinct to defend and protect April from harm would be replaced by the realization that by ending things with her, Jackson had made it possible for her to consider other options.

“OK, lets change the subject” he responded. “What's been going on at Grey Sloan since I left you all to fend for your sorry selves?”

And April gave him the high points. She told him some of the Minnick story, leaving out how she had suffered ostracism from her colleagues and friends for stepping into the Interim Chief of General Surgery role at Bailey's request. She told him about Montana, leaving out the part about Jackson's father and their sleeping together. And she told him about the explosion, but not how she observed Jackson and Maggie and knew that her time with Jackson had come to an end. She did tell him about moving into her own place and how they were now dividing time with Harriet and how that seemed to be working out so far anyway.

“Wow.” Abbott said, when she was done. “I leave and the place literally blows up. I think I've had less eventful combat tours overseas than you have months at Grey Sloan.”

“Says the guy who managed to almost kill one guy in a bar fight and then saved three people from an ambulance wreck while his brain was totally scrambled. And you were there how long?”

“Just proves my point. Things just got more exciting after I left. Nothing to do with me.”

“Hmm, maybe you're right about that. There always seems to be something going on up there. But you seemed to fit right in so ...”

Abbott put up his hands, laughing, “OK, OK, I surrender. Maybe if things get too boring down here, I'll head back up there, just to get the adrenaline fix.”

“Well we do have an opening now with Minnick fired. Which brings us back to you. Now it's your turn to tell what's going on with you.”

“It's not nearly as exciting as your story.”

“I doubt that.” April protested.

“Really, in this case, it's not. Like I was telling you last night, my orders got pulled when the Navy decided to award me this medal. So instead of going overseas, I was rerouted here and assigned to a training team for BUD/S.”

“Buds?” asked April.

“Basic Underwater Demolition / SEAL training. It's basically seven months of the hardest training on earth. My training cycle is still going on but I have a pass for the weekend because of the Navy Cross thing. I go back to it first thing Monday morning.”

“So, no more overseas assignments?” April asked hopefully.

“I guess not. This medal is turning into the kiss of death for that.” Abbott looked none too happy about it.

Suddenly April thought of Tarpley having to go overseas without Abbott.

“What about Tarpley?” she asked.

“He's been in limbo too but he just got his orders. He'll ship out in two weeks. He'll get his own team to lead. He's ready.”

“He learned from the best.” she answered.

He looked at her.

“A guy who's getting the Navy Cross this afternoon.” she finished.

“Well, he's certainly demonstrating initiative.”

“What do you mean?”

“Somehow he managed to get you down here without me even knowing.”

“Yes, I figured that out the moment I saw your face last night.”

“I hope you also figured that I'm glad he did.” Abbott replied.

“Me too.” April answered. And it was a little while before either said anything else.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the glacial pace. It just seems to me that April particularly would be reluctant to jump into anything too quickly. And Abbott has his own baggage making it harder for him to transition from reluctant Japril shipper to pursue something with April himself. If you can stick with me, we'll see what kind of journey we can put together.
> 
> Thanks for reads and comments. I can definitely use some help with this one so any feedback you can provide is most appreciated.


	5. Valor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At brunch, April meets one more important person from her past in Jordan.  
> And gets her first overt indication that at least one person thinks she might mean more to Abbott than she thinks  
> And then she attends a very emotional ceremony that sees Abbott awarded the Navy Cross.

Fortunately for April, the late breakfast at ten gave her a chance to go back to bed and grab another hour of sleep after she and Abbott returned from their walk. So while he had run off toward his base, she had returned to her room and crawled back into bed.

But sleep didn't come right away, in spite of how worn out she felt. She kept replaying her conversation with Abbott over and over in her head. It wasn't so much what he had said that had made an impression on her, though the fact that he no longer seemed destined for overseas deployment was pretty significant. The thing that truly had captured her attention was the tenor of the conversation itself and how different it had been from her past experiences with Abbott.

She had always experienced the intense Abbott. Certainly in Jordan where he made life or death decisions several times a day, but even as a trauma surgeon in Seattle. He had maintained an edge that she had always been aware of. Frankly, it had frightened her a little. Jackson was known to be pretty intense himself, but Abbott took it to a whole other level. Until this trip, that is. Last night she had thought him abnormally _relaxed_. This morning though, he had been absolutely _laid back_. Maybe California was rubbing off on him, she thought abstractedly. Was his self-medicating working? And which was his true nature? April realized, as sleep finally reclaimed her, that she didn't have any idea.

  
  


Abbott floated easily over the soft sand between the Dell and the Naval Amphibious Base, south of the hotel, that housed the Naval Special Warfare Command that Abbott's SEALs comprised a major component of.

His conversation with Kepner had given him a lot to think about. That Jackson had apparently removed himself from April's romantic consideration was, or course, the biggest news. For Abbott that presented both opportunity and a minefield of problems.

Was he finally ready to give a new relationship a chance? If so, was April really the right person to fall into that with? And what did this mean for his already murky future with the Navy? The SEALs had been his entire life for the last six years. He had the option of doing the last two years of his contract in the Reserve. He had already begun to consider that option when he learned the Navy wasn't likely to deploy him overseas again. Suddenly there was an additional thing to factor into that decision.

The most important question though was whether April was at all interested in giving him a try. He had no idea. For one thing, he had been so far removed from this sort of thing for so long, he had no trust for his ability to gauge interest on her part. And while he thought there might be a spark, he knew he could easily be seeing something just because he wanted to.

Nor did he trust others who he had either confided in or who claimed to have figured it out themselves. Tarpley, for instance, claimed to belong to both groups. Obviously, he had shared intel with Davis and Ruiz and Abbott wasn't sure who had instigated April's appearance this weekend, but it was clearly meant to give him an opportunity to engage. He knew if was to take advantage of the opportunity he had little more than twenty four hours left to do it. If only Murph was here to advise him.

  
  


Breakfast saw the same group gather as the night before, with three additions. There was a woman, not much older than April, who was wrangling two young boys. When April heard the woman call them Mark and Luke she knew immediately she was about to meet Murphy's widow. It created a moment of fear for her. How would Murphy's widow react to the person who possibly had gotten him killed by delaying their departure to treat a wounded soldier. She remembered Abbott's initial reaction all too well and had no desire to have it repeated here.

But April needn't have worried. April saw Abbott speaking to her and looking in April's direction. The woman nodded once and began walking to meet the surgeon from Seattle. April stopped and braced herself in case this went poorly. Instead the woman walked straight up to her and introduced herself.

“Doctor Kepner, it's so good to finally meet you. I'm Annie Murphy. Mike wrote me so much about you I feel as though I know you already.”

“Mrs. Murphy. I'm so so sorry for your loss. Your husband was a wonderful man and in the short time I got to spend with him, I felt we got started on a wonderful friendship.”

“Annie, please, and may I call you April?”

“Of course.”

“Good. April, I'm sure I'm breaking all kinds of rules of civilized society but I'm going to be very upfront with you.”

April felt a moment of trepidation. Was this when Annie would call out April's involvement in Murphy's death?

“Mike considered you family right from the start. I understand from Abbott that you blame yourself for Michael's death. Please don't do that. I've heard the story and I'll tell you this, Mike died doing what he believed in, defending his brothers and sister in combat. That was just the way he was wired. So don't give another thought to blaming yourself, or let anyone else do it either. It only cheapens my husband's sacrifice.” Annie Murphy looked at Abbott as she said this. He was sitting between the two boys, talking to them, and making them laugh.

Annie turned back toward April. “He told me what he said to you that day. I wanted to kill him. Has he apologized yet? If not, I will have to stick my boot up where the sun don't shine, medal or no medal.”

April nodded. She wasn't sure of her ability to form words around the lump occupying her throat at that moment.

Annie looked satisfied. “April, let me introduce you to my boys. They're a bit on the wild side but good boys nonetheless.” April was brought to the table to be introduced to Murphy's sons. Annie may have described them as being a bit wild but to April they were perfectly polite and it was easy to see Michael Murphy in their faces.

“You have a child, don't you?” Annie asked

April smiled. “Yes, a daughter. She just turned one a little while ago.”

“I understand you're a single mother now too?”

Like her husband, Annie was indeed direct.

“That's right, although my daughter's father is very present and involved in her life.”

“Well, that's a blessing for sure.”

April nodded. Being reminded of Jackson, even here, made her a little sad.

“One last thing you should know, April,” Ann Murphy told her, “Abbott is a good man. He makes mistakes just like all of em, but he's got a good heart.”

April looked at the woman, wondering why she had singled her out to say this to.

“You know he sends me a check every month? Most all of his pay. Wants me to put it aside for the boy's education. I just tear em up of course. But he keeps sending them. I love that man to death.”

Annie shifted her gaze from Abbott back to April. “I envy the woman that captures his heart.”

April swallowed hard. Annie's intent was hard to miss. “I'm not sure I'm the right person to be telling this to.” she whispered.

Annie smiled. “Michael told me some things. Abbott's told me some things. And some things I can see for myself.” she answered, then she walked over to pull her sons off of Abbott.

That gave April something to think about. At one point Murph had warned that she was dangerous for Abbott,  for all of them really, and that she needed to keep her distance. Later though she and Murphy had bonded partly out of concern for the Chief. And she had returned to Jordan, torpedoing her marriage in the process, largely to keep a vow she had made to the SEAL to watch over Abbott if ever he couldn't. Now, she started to suspect that her presence here wasn't simply to reunite with the SEAL team. But she and Abbott? That only existed in the gossip fevered minds of Grey Sloan rumor mongers, didn't it?

  
  


Breakfast was wonderful. It was really the Crown Room brunch and it was sumptuous. April found herself sitting between Hannah Rogers and Taco Ruiz, who was faring much better this morning than April expected him to after the previous nights fun. But April wrote that off to his being allowed to get a good night's sleep along with his strong SEAL constitution.

Abbott was across the table and opposite Hannah's husband, Ephraim, who was encouraging Abbott to consider opening a Roth IRA for himself so he wouldn't be left with just a government pension when he retired. Abbott was protesting he was too young to worry about retirement, which just got poor Ephraim even more passionate in his pleading.

Hannah rubbed her husband's back while she talked to April.

“My husband will happily plan your retirement for you at brunch but try to get him to mow the lawn..”

April laughed. “So how did you get into radiology?” This triggered an discussion about medicine and working in hospitals, and trying to balance family and career that lasted through the entire meal. By it's end, April was desperately wishing Hannah Rogers practiced her craft at Grey Sloan rather than LA. There was no doubt they would have been good friends. And Lord knows, April was short in that department at the moment.

Hannah apparently felt the same way. As everyone finally pushed away from the table, she begged April to ride with them to the ceremony in the afternoon. April checked with Tarpley and he was fine with it so April was happy to accept the invitation.

The group dispersed to get ready, with Abbott issuing a warning to be ten minutes early for the security check at the gate.

  
  


Abbott probably should have suggested being twenty minutes early instead, thought April, as she awaited the interview that came after she filled out the pass request form. Finally, the Rogers and April had their id cards and were allowed to enter the base.

Tarpley had provided everyone with a base map and directions to the medal ceremony so they had little trouble navigating the sprawling base to find the temporary dais and chairs set up in the front of the parade ground.

They found the Coopers already seated and joined them. Bill Cooper wore the Ceremonial Full Dress Blue uniform of the Chief Petty Officer that was his enlisted rank when he retired. On his left sleeve were several service stripes and his left shoulder bore his chevron rank insignia. His chest was adorned with medals and campaign ribbons but above all rested the Navy SEALs Trident pin, one of the most revered symbols in the US Armed Forces.

Soon they were joined by Ruiz and Davis, also in their enlisted ceremonial uniforms, with the distinctive sailor hat worn by the Navy's enlisted ranks, who joined the Coopers in the front row.

The Murphys arrived shortly thereafter, the boys somehow immaculate in their best clothes. April choked and felt tears begin to run down her cheek as Annie Murphy laid a neatly folded American Flag on the chair next to Taco Ruiz. It was the flag that had lain across her husband's casket. And it would allow Michael Murphy to rejoin his brothers for this most important ceremony.

Annie and the boys filed into the row beside April, who did her best not to give in to her emotions. Be strong, she told herself, you're in the company of the strong.

To their left was an open grassy space. Moments later April saw who would be occupying it.

They came in neat formation, marching in unison as though of a single mind and body. They mainly wore the same enlisted uniforms as Ruiz and Davis, though there were a few Chief Petty Officers as well. Most bore the SEAL Trident, though there were two rows of men without it. April would later learn that Abbott's BUD/S trainees had been given the opportunity to attend.

Last among the enlisted men, Abbott and Tarpley marched in and took up position in the front row. April thought Abbott looked very handsome in his dress blues. She observed all the medals already adorning his chest and wondered where they would pin this new one.

Finally the officers and special guests entered and took their position on the dais.

A voice called “Attention” and as one the military and retired military snapped to attention and rendered a salute as a military honor guard entered bearing the flag. April almost lost it again as she saw Davis struggle to raise his hand in salute until Ruiz, already standing at attention, reached up with his left hand to support Davis' arm and help him raise it to complete the salute. If it was a violation of some protocol, there didn't seem to be much interest in pointing it out.

Once the flag was mounted in its stand, the At Ease order was given and everyone broke off their salutes and relaxed from attention.

One of the officers approached the podium and spoke into the microphone. 'Ladies and Gentlemen, I am pleased to welcome you all to an extremely rare event, the awarding of the Navy Cross. I'll invite our guests to have a seat. I will not be inviting our active duty personnel to do so.” That generated a small ripple of laughter in the ranks of the standing soldiers.

The man spoke of the history of the award, its place as the second highest military honor, some of the past medal awardees, and so on.

When he was done, he introduced the next speaker, a highly decorated officer, Rear Adm. Timothy Szymanski, commander of the Navy SEALs.

Szymanski's speech was short.

“I am fortunate enough to command a group of men who are the best of the best. For these men, valor is an everyday companion, courage is their currency, honor the thread that binds them, and bravery is table stakes for the job they do defending freedom and this great country of ours. Today, though, we honor an individual who demonstrated that those words, valor, courage, honor, and bravery, are not just words on some wall, but a living embodiment to the service of his country and his fellow soldier.”

The Admiral consulted a piece of paper in his hands.

“The citation reads...” he paused, a strong man gathering himself, “it reads, _On the night of May twelfth, in Helmund Province, Afghanistan, Chief Petty Officer Samuel Abbott, though wounded, repeatedly engaged overwhelming enemy forces while searching for and rescuing two members of his team, carrying them several hundred feet to safety. Not satisfied with rescuing the wounded, Chief Abbott then proceeded to lead two fellow SEALs back to the wrecked aircraft to recover the bodies of two more members of his team as well as those of the three aircraft crew. In all, Chief Abbott made five trips back to the wreckage, engaging enemy at close range each time,and incurring an additional wound in the process. During an official inquiry following, Chief Abbott was asked why he felt compelled to return for the bodies and his answer was recorded to be_ _ **No man left behind, Sir**_.”

Admiral Szymanski looked at Abbott for a long moment, then wheeled around and returned to his place.

April looked at Abbott. He remained still and expressionless, his eyes seemingly focused on the ground ten feet in front of him. Did hearing this force him to relive that experience? Did he even feel fear like the rest of us? And what of Davis? And Ruiz? What were they feeling? She looked toward them and saw the while Davis was likewise stone-faced, Ruiz allowed himself just a hint of a smile. Perhaps he longed for the days past when he faced the fire with his brothers in arms. Or maybe he was just happy to be alive. 

April's attention was then drawn back to the dais where a man she assumed to be the Secretary of the Navy, now stood next to Admiral Szymanski. The Admiral held a box that he now opened to reveal the medal itself.

“Chief Petty Officer Samuel. Abbott. Attention.” the Admiral called.

Abbott stepped forward, came to attention and saluted.

April thought that Abbott would be called up to the dais but instead the Admiral and Navy Secretary came down off the stage to stand in front of him. Both came to attention themselves and returned his salute.

Then the medal was removed from the box and pinned to Abbott's chest, just below his Trident. First the Secretary, then the Admiral leaned in and whispered something to him. The Admiral also shook his hand and handed him the citation and certificate that accompanied the medal. The medal awarded, Abbott again saluted which the two officers returned smartly before returning to the dais.

A voice called “Atten-shun!” and again all the enlisted personnel came to attention and saluted the officers.

Finally, April heard “Dis-missed” and it was over.

  
  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea what an actual awarding of the Navy Cross is like outside of the fact that it is awarded on the President's behalf by the Secretary of the Navy.  
> Admiral Szymanski is the current commander of the Navy SEALs, at least according to Wikipedia, and works from Coronado.
> 
> As always, thank you for reading. Love to hear what you think so far.


	6. Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another guest shows up at the ceremony and it sparks a strong reaction from at least one of the crowd.  
> After dinner, Abbott uncharacteristically provides the backstory for it.  
> All while April detects hints from Abbott that he may want more from her, triggering much internal debate on her part.

While the SEAL trainees marched away from the ceremony as a unit, the other enlisted men and officers present made their way to congratulate Abbott personally. There were many of them and it took awhile. Meanwhile, his guests stayed in their places and talked among themselves while they waited. April saw tear tracks down Hannah Rogers cheeks and offered her a tissue from her purse. She also observed Ann Murphy going to retrieve her husband's flag, which Ruiz had reverently picked up from the seat next to him. Cliff Davis reached out with his left hand to touch it before Taco returned it to the widow's care. Hugs were shared, with Bill Cooper and his wife joining in. April hoped she hadn't given away her last tissue.

Finally, the crowd of well wishers around Abbott thinned and disappeared and he turned to make his way toward his guests. Again, April was struck by how good he looked in his uniform. The blue really sets off his eyes, she thought, before catching herself. _Whoa, April, put a lid on that stuff before you find yourself back in yet another impossible situation_.

But it was difficult when it seemed to her that those eyes were looking right into hers. _Damn these guys with their crazy beautiful eyes_. _It's just not fair._

He was almost to her when she saw his gaze suddenly shift from her to something behind her. She turned and saw a tall brunette standing alone in the back of the guest area. Hannah Rogers, seeing April turn, also did, and April heard her exclaim “Oh fuck, what is SHE doing here?”

All of Abbott's guests were now watching as Abbott passed through them and went directly to the woman. He stopped in front of her and they looked at each other wordlessly for several long moments. Then it appeared to April as though the brunette was about to speak but whatever she was about to say was interrupted by Abbott suddenly picking her up and hugging her tightly.

And if April had become an expert at detecting Jackson's subtle signals of feelings toward someone, she needed no such expertise to recognize that Abbott possessed strong feelings toward the woman he was now embracing.

So much for that little Samril fantasy, she told herself. At least it got nipped in the bud before it could really take root. But somehow there wasn't much comfort to be had there.

 

It was Tarpley who finally went forward and spoke to Abbott, who exchanged quiet words with his friend. Tarp nodded and returned to the group while Abbott took the woman's arm in his and walked away.

“Okay,” Tarpley addressed the puzzled guests, “the Chief is asking us to proceed to the NCO club for the dinner. He'll meet us there. Apologies as this particular guest is an unexpected surprise.”

“Yeah, no shit unexpected.” April heard Hannah mutter. She alone appeared to know who the mystery woman was. And she didn't appear at all happy to renew the acquaintance. April, though curious, was reluctant to further upset her new friend by questioning her about it. She anticipated it would all be made clear in time.

April and the two Rogers made their way to their car and consulted the map Tarpley had provided them once again. The NCO Club was not too far away and they arrived there in short order, along with the rest of their party. Only Abbott and the mysterious woman had yet to arrive.

They were ushered into a private room off the main dining area. There, a formal dinner had been set and white jacketed waiters began taking drink orders.

It was just a few minutes later that Abbott walked in, the woman still on his arm.

“Everyone, I apologize for being so rude earlier.” Abbott announced. “I want to introduce Eleanor Ford Abbott,” The woman smiled. April was not prepared for this. Had Abbott been married before he wed Amy? Or had he secretly married again since? “my sister,” he concluded. The entire room, Hannah excepted, exhaled together.

Abbott was now taking his sister around the room to more personally introduce her to his friends. Meanwhile April sat down next to Hannah, who seemed visibly upset and was gulping down her recently delivered cocktail. On the other side of her, Ephraim was looking at his wife in alarm and seemed uncertain on what he should be doing for her. April felt the same way. If she had a little more history with her, April would have been more confident about what to say, if anything. Finally she decided to take a chance.

“Hannah, I can see you're upset. Do you want to talk about it?” she ventured.

The young woman looked at her and April saw gratitude in her expression. “April, you're sweet and I appreciate the attempt, but this goes way back. I don't feel like I can talk to you about it but I sure wish I could. All I can say is that I don't think I can stand to be in the same room with that woman. It makes me sad but I think we'll have to leave. I would have loved to spend more time with you. I've got a feeling you and I could be really good friends.”

“Aww, I feel the same way.”

“Please give me your number so we can stay in touch. I want to start working on you to move down here so we can hang out and raise our kids together.”

April laughed. “That sounds so fun but you know, it isn't going to happen. I don't think I'm a southern California person.”

“Oh we could fix that in no time.” Hannah laughed.

They got out their phones and exchanged contact information. Then, to April's sorrow, Hannah informed her husband it was time to leave. He arose without complaint and the Rogers said their goodbyes to the others. Hannah gave April a big hug. “Sunshine. Beaches. Great Mexican food.” she whispered in April's ear. April laughed.

“Smog. Traffic. My daughter's father twelve hundred miles away.” April whispered back.

“So maybe the last is a positive? Anyway, I'll mark you down as thinking about it.”

Hannah Rogers was irrepressible. If her sister had been anything like her, April could definitely see why Abbott would fall head over heels for her.

As Ephraim and Hannah moved toward the door, a distressed Abbott intercepted them. April could just hear the exchange from where she sat.

“What? Come on, the dinner going to be served any minute now.” Abbott entreated.

“I'm sorry, Sam, but you know why I can't be here any longer.” Hannah answered.

“But it was so long ago.”

“Not to me.” she replied

Abbott looked as distressed as April had ever seen him. She felt bad for eavesdropping but couldn't tear herself away.

“Hannah, she's my sister.” he pleaded.

“I thought I was too.” she snapped back at him.

April saw anguish on Abbott's handsome face. It made her want to go to him. Again she had to remind herself that it wasn't her place to do that.

“You always will be.” Abbott replied quietly.

Hannah's face now registered guilt at what she had said.

“I'm sorry, Sam, I really am. Yes, I will always be your sister. I love you and am so proud. And I know Amy is too. But I have to go. I hope you understand.”

Hannah threw her arms around the SEAL and he embraced her tightly. Then they separated, Abbott shook Ephraim's hand, and the Rogers departed.

April was mortified then when Abbott looked at her, catching her watching the exchange. But instead of being angry, he just gave her a sad little smile and a shrug of his shoulders, as though to explain it was an impossible situation with no easy resolution. Then Abbott returned to his sister's side to continue the introductions.

Last he came to April. “Doctor April Kepner, Doctor Eleanor Abbott.”

April shook the hand that was offered her. Eleanor Abbott has a strong grip, she noted.

“Doctor? Are you a surgeon then too?” she asked the taller woman.

“Surgeon? No. I'm actually a chemist. Or at least I am when I'm not teaching.” Eleanor Abbott had blue eyes like her brother though April thought they lacked the intensity, warmth and sparkle that made Abbott's eyes so devastating. April might have described them as _icy_ instead.

“Ah, how interesting. Where do you teach?”

“I'm a professor at the University of Chicago.”

“Oh, that's quite an impressive school. I'm originally from the Midwest myself.”

“Really? Chicago? Madison? St Louis, perhaps?”

“Moline, actually. Moline, Ohio.”

“It's very close to Toledo.” Sam interjected, surprising the heck out of April. How in the world did he know that, she wondered? Has he been checking up on me?

“Oh, interesting.”

The way she said it indicated to April that she found it anything but interesting. April found herself already falling into Hannah's camp with respect to Eleanor Ford Abbott.

Sam must have sensed it because he immediately told his sister that they should sit as the meal was about to be served.

With Hannah gone, April was fairly alone in her place at the table but that was quickly remedied by Tarpley, Davis and Ruiz, who came over and surrounded her. Throughout the entire delicious meal they kept her in stitches with their crazy stories and friendly insults. Things got so loud and raucous that Scott Triplett switched seats with his wife so he too could take part in the fun. Occasionally April would look down the table to where Abbott sat with his sister and the Coopers, making polite conversation. She would catch him looking at their end of the table and knew he was wishing he too could join in. But he was trapped. April gave him a sympathetic smile. He just smiled and gave another little shrug in return.

  
  


After polishing off an incredible crème brulee and a delicious cup of coffee, April pushed back from the table, completely sated. She couldn't remember the last time she had eaten so much and so well, or had laughed so hard.

Tarpley had been non-stop hysterical, both in telling his own stories, and as the focal point for his friend's abuse. Now, as she watched him go over to Abbott and bump fists with him, it struck her that this crazy funny man would soon be in a faraway place, leading a team of elite warriors in the deadly serious business of his profession.

She also had learned that she had completely misjudged Scott Triplett, thinking he was a straight laced, serious type, when in fact he was almost as much of a goofball as Tarpley. She found herself wishing she had known him before his wounds drove him out of the service.

Annie Murphy, her two sons in tow, had departed earlier, citing an early flight back home to Austin and a need to get her sons to bed at a decent hour. Her departure had required long hugs from all of the SEALs who had served with her husband. April also received a long firm hug though the ability to form words seemed to have been wrung out of Annie Murphy by then.

Abbott had taken the boys aside and spoken to them man to man for a good length of time. The emotions that etched his face afterwards rekindled a desire in April to go to him, to find some way to help him. Again, she fought it down.

Next to her, Taco Ruiz and Cliff Davis spoke now in quiet sentences, promising future comradeship, and reminiscing about friends no longer present. April felt the exhaustion of a day spent walking the emotional border between laughter and tears.

Tomorrow, she too would depart for home. She guessed it would be a long time before she saw these men again. Then it occurred to her that when the Rogers departed earlier, she had lost her ride back to the Del. She asked Scott if he was going back that way and he graciously volunteered to take her back.

Abbott, standing nearby, overheard the offer and immediately came to her side.

“I'll take you back, April. Anyway, I haven't had a chance to talk to you since this morning.”

“But what about your sister?” April asked. She didn't relish having Abbott's sibling there too.

He looked at her face and she knew he was reading her mind.

“El came in her own car so it'll be just me and you.”

“Me and you?” That three word phrase had some meaning for her although Abbott didn't know it.

“Me and you.” he confirmed.

  
  


The Coopers left, then the Tripletts, then Eleanor Abbott took her leave. And April was left with Abbott, Tarpley, Ruiz, and Davis. They walked out into the soft darkness and stood for a long while talking in the parking lot next to Tarpley's government car.

It was obvious to April that the men wanted to delay their parting as long as possible. She knew that Ruiz and Davis both had flights in the morning. With Tarpley about to ship out overseas, it was unlikely this group would be together again for a long time. But finally, Ruiz and Davis, in turn, hugged April and bumped fists with Abbott, before piling into Tarpley's car for a ride back to their hotel. Tarpley told April she'd get a goodbye from him the next day as he intended to find her before she flew out late in the afternoon.

Abbott and April stood alone in the dark parking lot, watching the taillights of the car recede into the distance. When they finally disappeared, April looked around and noticed that the parking lot was now empty.

“Uh, where is this car that you're supposedly giving me a ride with?” she asked.

“I said I would take you back. I never said I would be giving you a ride.” Abbott answered, grinning.

“Huh.” April answered warily.

“What? I thought that since it's only a mile and a half to the Del, and it's a beautiful night, that you might want to walk back on the beach.”

“Huh.” April repeated.

“Okay, I know what you're thinking; he just maneuvered me into a romantic walk on a deserted beach at night. But I have no intentions of... Unless of course you want … Look, if you'd rather drive, I can go get the car from where I left it. Geez, is it hot out here tonight?”

It was all April could do to keep from laughing out loud. She hadn't been thinking anything like that actually but it was hilarious letting him stumble all over himself trying to explain himself to her. She had never expected to see Samuel Abbott spinning out like this. He actually reminded her of herself, on far more occasions than she wanted to admit to.

Finally, she decided to bail him out. “It is a beautiful night. And I haven't had a chance to walk with you on the beach for what, twelve hours? So yes, lets walk back and I'll try to trust you to be a gentleman and protect my honor.” She finished the last with a dramatic flourish that made Abbott smile.

“Very well, milady, then lets hence depart. But if its okay with you, I'll stop by my quarters and change out of this monkey suit and into something more comfortable?”

“Your quarters? Something more comfortable? Scandalous! Maybe I should be worried about my honor after all.”

“I'll try not to choose something too revealing.” he answered.

“Oh, so now we're protecting your honor?” she teased back.

April saw his expression suddenly become serious. Then he looked away. “Not sure how much of a fight you'd get there.” he replied quietly. And she knew they were dangerously close to crossing a line. Was it a line she wanted to cross? In less than twenty four hours she would be back in Seattle. Jackson was in Seattle and, as much as she wished it was behind her, she knew it wasn't. So, no, it wouldn't be fair to him and it wouldn't be to her either.

“Well, let's just agree to preserve each other's honor then and get this show on the road before it gets too late, I get cold, and I turn into a pumpkin.”

Abbott nodded. Whatever he was thinking was carefully camouflaged again.

They stopped by his quarters and he ducked in to change out of his ceremonial dress blues, returning two minutes later in khaki shorts and a long sleeved tee. He brought a Navy windbreaker for April as well. She had worn dresses smaller than the windbreaker as it swallowed the petite surgeon when she put it on. But she was grateful for it, especially since they found a cool breeze blowing off the water when they got to the beach.

As in the morning, they removed their footware and carried it. April's heels would not have helped her cause across the soft sand.

To April's relief, Abbott kept the conversation away from the flirting they had earlier engaged in.

“What did you think of the ceremony?” he asked.

And April told him what she had observed, particularly Murphy's flag and Ruiz assisting Davis with his salute.

Even Abbott's legendary self control failed him upon hearing about that. “I was aware of the flag,” he told her thickly, “but I didn't know about the salute.” He looked away, into the darkness of the vast Pacific, and April realized that's what Samuel Abbott did to hide his emotions from others.

Unconsciously she reached out to gently touch his back.

“What they said. What you did. Abbott, it was... it was amazing. They are alive today because of you.”

“They would have done the same for me.” He looked at her, his gaze again taking on that intensity that made her feel as though she was being jolted with electricity. “April, you did the same for me, back in Seattle.”

“Hardly the same. I didn't have to fight my way through a bunch of enemies. Besides, I owed you, you and the guys. You got me out of Jordan.”

“Exactly the same.” Abbott declared. “Just the details are different. April, I never really thanked you for that. And I never really apologized to you for what I said to you there.”

“You did. Jackson told me what you said. That was enough.”

“I'm sorry that didn't work out the way you wanted it to.” he told her. “And I am truly sorry for what I said. I was entirely wrong.”

“Apology accepted.” April replied. She didn't want to talk or think about Jackson right now.

They walked on in silence for a minute or so.

“Abbott, can I ask about your sister?”

Abbott gave April a sideways look. “You weren't too impressed, I take it?”

“I wouldn't say that, necessarily. Impressive is an adjective that applies.” April wasn't sure how frank she should be with her impressions of Eleanor Abbott. The woman was his sister after all.

His laughter gave her some idea. “Yeah, impressive does fit. But so does conceited, patronizing, cold, and bitchy.”

It was April's turn to laugh. “Wow! I wonder what people she's not related to say about her.”

“I'm pretty sure that's the general consensus. But then there are her less stellar qualities.”

“You're making me wonder what you say about me.”

“I think you know. Anyway, I was there. I know you didn't take much of a liking to her.”

“Well, I confess I was a little predisposed to dislike her when Hannah couldn't stand to be in the same room as her. What is that all about anyway?”

“That is a long story.”

“Longer than the mile or so we have to go to get to the Del?”

Abbott appeared to be considering whether he should tell April or not. After a moment, he decided.

“Are you familiar with Abbott Labs?”

“The huge pharma company?”

“Well, we like to say we're a healthcare company rather than just a pharmaceutical company.”

April stopped short and pulled on Abbott's shoulder so that he was facing her. “WE? Wait, you don't mean to tell me that you are ...”

“My great great grandfather was Wallace Calvin Abbott.”

“SHUT UP!” shouted April. “You are Abbott Laboratories!”

Abbott rolled his eyes skyward. “This is why I don't tell people this stuff. Abbott is a huge publicly owned healthcare company that just happens to have been founded by my great great grandfather. I don't own it. I don't work for it. I really don't have anything to do with it.”

In her mind April could hear Jackson Avery protesting in similar fashion about being related to Harper Avery. But that was small potatoes compared to this.

“You're frickin Abbott Labs.” she repeated, still stunned at the association.

“April, stop it, or the story ends here.”

“Okay, I'm done.” April made a zip the lips motion. She really wanted to hear this story.

Abbott meanwhile found it difficult to tear his gaze from the lips she had called his attention to. He had been wholly unprepared for the attraction he felt for April Kepner, particularly tonight, dressed and made up as she was. He found her stunning. He was stunned, for the first time in a long long while.

“Abbott?” she said finally, waking him from his trance.

His eyes shot upwards and he tried to remember what he was supposed to be saying.

“So anyway, my family is pretty wealthy. And conservative. And real, honest to goodness Puritan stock. But every family seems to have its black sheep and I guess that's me. Maybe because I grew up here in California or something, I don't know. But I was always the rebel, always getting into trouble, always getting into huge fights with my father, always running with a fast crowd. You know the story.”

April tried to picture Abbott as a wild young playboy and couldn't quite conjure it up in her imagination.

“But somehow I got my degree and did well enough to get into UCLA med school. I don't know, maybe the name had something to do with it. But by then I was determined to succeed on my own, ya know. To prove to everyone I was more than some famous guy's great great grandson. So I worked my ass off and the harder I worked, the better I became. Who knew, huh?”

April smiled but said nothing. Abbott was on a roll and she didn't want to spoil it. Both had forgotten they were supposed to be walking.

“Then the weirdest thing happened. There was this older guy in the program who was my competition for the top spot in the class. I just couldn't shake the dude. I got to absolutely hate him because of the pressure he was putting on me. One night I was so frazzled I had to take a break and relax so I went to a bar near campus and this guy was there. He saw me looking for a seat and motioned for me to join him so I thought, what the hell, and sat with him. We knocked down a couple of beers and started talking. And this guys starts thanking me. I was like what the fuck? But he tells me thanks for setting the bar so damn high, that I've really pushed him to be better than he ever thought he could be. And I was just floored. Then we talked some more and I find out he's a frickin Jesuit priest for crying out loud.”

Abbott paused to take a breath and check April's reaction to all this information. April's rapt expression was all the encouragement he needed to continue.

“Anyway, in my staunchly Protestant family a favorite sport is making fun of Catholics so I start giving him some grief being a priest and he's not only being a good sport about it but he's kind of explaining a lot of stuff I had never understood. To make a long story shorter, we ended up becoming study partners and that kicked both of us even farther ahead of the rest of the class. We talked about more than medicine. He had such an outlook on life and God and everything that I just got the biggest kick out of talking to him. And it really got me thinking a lot about God and spirituality and everything.”

As a Christian herself, April had always found the infighting between different Christian denominations odd and frustrating.

“So I was already sort of primed for it when I met Amy during my last year rotation and fell in love with her. She was solidly Catholic and it just seemed natural to me to close the deal by becoming Catholic too.”

“Uh, not seeing where your sister comes into this yet.” April commented, unable to stay silent any longer.

“I'm getting there, Kepner.” Abbott smiled at her impatience. “When my family found out I had become Catholic, the shit hit the fan. They thought it was entirely Amy's fault. So they launched a campaign to break us up. But that had no chance of success and so, when Amy and I married, not one of the Abbotts showed up. That alone pissed off Amy's family. But the other fallout from the whole thing ended up having much greater significance, though we couldn't have known it then. They cut me off from my trust fund. We were in love so we didn't give a damn that we were poor. But then the bills from med school came due.”

“Oh, no.” April remembered vividly the story Abbott had told her as he lay in the hospital bed after the ambulance wreck. The med school expenses had led Amy Abbott to accept a deployment to Iraq, where a bomb embedded in the road had ended her life. No wonder Hannah had been so unwilling to be around Eleanor Abbott. In her mind, the Abbotts had been indirectly responsible for her sister's death.

  
  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For April Kepner, it never seems to be easy and uncomplicated.  
> And Abbott is running out of time to make a move and convince her to give him a chance.
> 
> A couple of Japril Easter eggs in this one.  
> Hint: An exchange from the very beginning of Japril the shippers hold near and dear  
> Hint2: Think the S13finale- April makes an observation that turns out to be wrong
> 
> Thanks for reading and letting me know what you think.


	7. Hotel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A man of action acts and finds April very much his equal in the action department.
> 
> But they might not be on the same page in other areas.

April stared out the window of her hotel room at the fog enshrouded beach. It was too early for more than a few people to be out enjoying it. There was a couple huddled under a blanket. She wondered if they were honeymooners. She counted three runners, a solo guy, and two women running together. She suddenly realized she could have run this weekend, even without her running stuff, since everyone ran barefoot on the beach anyway.

Well, she smiled, thanks to Abbott she had gotten plenty of exercise this weekend regardless. There had been the walk yesterday morning. And then, last night, another walk on the beach, back here from the Naval base. Both walks had afforded the opportunity for extended conversation. Last night, for instance, it had mostly been Abbott explaining about his sister and his family and some of the events that led up to Amy Abbott's fatal deployment.

  
Once that story had been told, however, Abbott seemed to revert again to his old strong and silent type persona. So April had described her reactions to all the people she had met this weekend. She told him she thought the Coopers were really nice though they seemed much more reserved than the other SEALs she had come to know. Abbott had replied that was just their nature. He said that in general SEALs tended to be extroverted, but a few, Bill Cooper included, were less so but no less effective in their leadership because of it.

April told him about how much Scott Triplett had surprised her too and he had laughed, wondering how the heck she could have thought Scott was quiet and reserved?

They talked about Annie Murphy and her sons and Abbott instantly became emotional. She wondered if he would ever get over losing Murph. She told him she had noticed him talking to the boys and asked what he had said to them. He had smiled and told her that the guy code forbade him from revealing the content of man to man conversation.

Finally, she told Abbott how much she liked Hannah Rogers and felt like they had really connected.

“She's even trying to talk me into relocating down here.”

“Oh? And how's that going?” Abbott asked, a little eagerly, April thought.

“Yeah, not going to happen.” she answered and observed Abbott's eagerness fade a little.

Oh, God, April thought, he really does want something to happen between us. Well his timing sucks. The last thing she wanted right now was involvement with a man, any man. So even though she found herself drawn to him, there was no way she was going to go there. Not for the foreseeable future anyway. Besides, she thought, the main reason he's interested is because I look so much like his dead wife. Like I want to compete with a ghost the rest of my life. A ghost he's obviously still in love with.

There were a hundred reasons that April could have come up with for why she and Abbot couldn't and shouldn't be together. But she couldn't help but be flattered a little bit that he wanted her. It was just what the doctor ordered for an ego recently trampled by Jackson Avery.

“Were Hannah and Amy a lot alike?” April blurted out.

“In a lot of ways, yes.” he answered wistfully.

“Then I'm sure I would have liked her too.” April told him.

He looked at her. Even in the dark she could see that intensity shining through. _Damn it_.

  
They had walked the last little bit in silence, with only the waves breaking to provide accompaniment.

When the lights of the Del had come into sight, Abbott had broken the silence by asking April if he could take her to the airport the next day. She had gratefully accepted his offer.

“And, if you don't have any plans in the morning, maybe you'd like to come with me and I'll show you around San Diego a little?”

“I'd like that.” April had answered.

By then they had reached the doors to the Del. Abbott stopped and April turned toward him. She thought he looked nervous. Another first to record for posterity.

“Okay then.” she had said.

“Okay,” he had answered. “I guess I'll see you in the morning then.”

“Great, see you in the morning.” She had turned and quickly made her way to the elevators, lest she do something absolutely crazy.

The elevator door had opened and she had stepped in, about to press her floor when he came through the still open door and pinned her against the back wall of the elevator. He only hesitated a moment, those intense eyes memorizing every feature of her face before settling on her lips for just a half second. Then he was kissing her and she was kissing him back. At that moment she couldn't recall any of those hundreds of reasons why this was a bad idea.

Finally, their lips separated. They stared into each other's eyes until at last Abbott sighed. “I just had to.” he explained. April only nodded. He sighed again and, noting the elevator door had closed, he reached for the button to open it again. But April beat him to the elevator panel and punched the button for her floor.

His look of surprise soon gave way to one of inquiry. “April, are you sure?”

Her answer was another kiss, longer than the first, that only ended with the ding of the elevator door announcing their arrival to her floor. Kissing her hungrily again, Abbott picked her up and carried her halfway down the long hallway before he finally broke it off to ask “Where's your room, anyway?”

“At the end of the other hallway.” she had giggled.

He got in only one brief shake of his head before they were kissing again and he was retracing his steps, carrying her back the way they had come.

  
April turned away from the window and looked at his sleeping form, half covered, facing away from her at the moment. She saw the powerful muscles of his back, the back she had clung to as Abbott joined the oh so short list of April Kepner's lovers. In the light of day his scars there were clearly visible. She saw where the shrapnel from the RPG had pierced him, where the bullet had passed through, fortunately missing vital organs. She thought about what the citation had said; though wounded twice, he had kept going back. No man left behind. No, Samuel Abbott was as true as they come. How could she ever live up to that?

She went to the bed and slipped off the soft hotel bathrobe, sliding back into the bed to lay her body next to his. He stirred. She ran her hands over him. She wanted another time on the Tilt A Whirl. He was happy to oblige. She would worry about the rest of it later. Right now, she was happy. And very, very, horny.

An hour later he was showering when she stepped in to join him.

“You're kidding.” was his initial reaction. For him it had been almost eight years since Amy. April Kepner seemed intent on helping him make up for that lost time all at once. It didn't take her long to win him over to her way of thinking.

  
Abbott sat on the edge of the bed and read the text on his phone. “Tarp wants to meet for breakfast at ten. Sound good to you?”

April crawled across the bed to throw her arms around his neck and whisper into his ear. “I think I've been pretty clear about how I'd like to spend the morning.”

Abbott grinned. “While I applaud the enthusiasm, one of us reached his peak about twenty years ago and is worried a certain something might fall off if it isn't given a break soon.”

April raised up on her knees and looked over his shoulder toward his crotch. “Looks fine to me. I think you might be underestimating your capabilities.”

“April, no man ever underestimates their capabilities in this particular area. Besides I've worked up quite an appetite thanks to you.”

“Me too, but not for food.” She said, kissing his neck and running her hands down his chest.

“I'm not getting out of here alive, am I?”

“We'll see.” she whispered in his ear as her hands traveled lower.

  
It was after eleven when Abbott finally texted back to Tarpley that he and April would meet him at Claytons at 11:30.

Only the fact that checkout time had come and gone and the threat that housekeeping would come barging in on her naked, had convinced April to finally allow them to get dressed and leave the room.

April checked out at the desk where she was told that her account had been settled and she was welcome to come and stay again some time. She had smiled and promised she would, and into her head popped Jackson's voice talking about their track record in hotels. Wonder what he would say about her starting her own hotel track record like this, she thought with a smile?

She rolled her bag over to where Abbott waited for her.

“Ready?” he asked.

“Ready.” she answered.

Then they both realized something. Abbott's car was back at the base.

“Aw, crap.” he said. April just laughed.

While he ran back along the beach to retrieve the car, April took a seat in one of the comfy chairs in the lobby. She thought about the last twelve hours. It certainly had been eventful. She had been less surprised by Abbott's action in the elevator than she had her own. And then everything since. She would need time to sort it all out in her head. A lot of time. Because nothing she had done in the last twelve hours had come from there. She had been riding a wave of emotion and feeling and letting her body dictate her actions and it had been … wonderful.

Until a little over a month ago she had been holding onto a belief that she'd only ever be with one man. Yes, she had lost her virginity before ever even identifying her future husband but then it had worked out that she married the man who she had given it to. That had to make it all okay with Jesus, she thought. Then the divorce happened and her view of the world had changed anyway. Moving forward, she had resigned herself that Jackson wasn't going to be her future. But then, somehow, he seemed to be again. And she had no qualms about being with him, even though not married, partly because he was back in the every day for the rest of her life picture, and partly because, in her mind, the linkage between sex and marriage had become somewhat frayed, and she was no longer sure that Jesus cared that much about it. Riggs words about God having bigger fish to fry had begun to ring true to her.

Now, with Jackson finally out of her picture for good, she figured she would have at least one more lover in her life. She just never expected it this soon, this place, or this man. Honestly, she had also been a little afraid. Sex with Jackson had been so good. What if everyone else failed to live up to that high bar? What if that was all him?

April smiled. Well, at least she could put that fear to rest. Sex with Abbott had been every bit as good. Different, but great nonetheless. She knew it was dangerous to compare but, being finally able to, she couldn't help but indulge herself. Jackson was physically beautiful, in ways that Abbott could not match. As a lover, Avery seemed so polished, always knowing where he wanted to go and how he would lead her there. It was almost like taking a guided tour of her own body and sensuality. Abbott, on the other hand, was a pure force of nature. Each time with him was like a wild adventure. She had the feeling she was flying into the unknown with neither one of them sure what the next move would be. While with Jackson she felt safe and sure, with Abbott there was an element of danger. Jackson was always in charge. With Abbott, there was a demand on her to go after what she wanted. Happily, she had been more than able to answer that demand.

Jackson, she reflected, had been the ideal lover for her unsure virgin self. But Abbott was a great partner for the woman she had become. It had been a wonderful night. But now it was over. She would be getting on a plane soon. And she dreaded it. Mostly because she was pretty sure that Abbott would not be happy with what she would tell him.

  
Abbott reached the base. He hadn't glided across the sand as he normally did. He was a little more fatigued than usual. Part of it he attributed to scarce sleep. But then he was trained to go long periods without sleep and still function at a high level. No, it wasn't the lack of sleep. It was what he had been engaged in _instead_ of sleep. That is what accounted for it, why he felt so, ahem, _drained_. THAT he hadn't trained for. But even if he had, he wasn't sure that April Kepner wouldn't still have worn him out. Not that he was complaining.

If he had reservations about April as he stepped into that elevator last night, they had disappeared by the time he stepped out again, on her floor, carrying her petite. lithe, perfect form to her room.

He had, as they tore wildly at each other's clothes, thought for just a moment about his Amy, begging her to forgive him this. Moments later, as he beheld the entirety of April's beauty, he thought he may have heard Amy whisper her blessing in his ear. _Sam, you've waited long enough. Live. Love._ And so he had smiled and for the first time since that terrible loss, he gave himself over to the chance to love again.

He located his keys in his quarters, ran to the car and made his way back to the Del to pick up April. It was already 11:30. But Tarp was patient. He'd understand. Especially once Abbott told him he had fallen in love with April and thought she might have with him too.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is about as graphic as I will ever get. Sorry if that's disappointing :-(  
> When I started writing this chapter I thought Abbott would kiss April and then she'd start telling him why they could never work.  
> But she surprised me.  
> I hope this all worked for you, April fans.  
> I kind of like this April though.  
> We'll have to see how it works for her in the next chapter.


	8. Flight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's her last few hours in San Diego. April and Abbott meet Tarpley at a diner so April can say goodbye.  
> But it's her pending goodbye to Abbott that has April on edge.  
> What has she gotten herself into? How will she get herself out?

Tarpley had already claimed a table on the sunny patio when they arrived. He glanced at his watch when he saw them come around the building, tapping it pointedly to make sure they were aware they had kept him waiting for thirty minutes or more.

Abbott sat across from him and April, at the last second, bypassed the chair next to him and instead sat next to Tarpley. She intentionally picked up the menu so she wouldn't have to face Abbott's puzzled expression. Tarp looked at Abbott, who shrugged, and grabbed the water that Tarpley had requested for the table.

They made small talk until the waitress arrived to take their order. Tarpley and Abbott had ordered big meals while April made do with a side dish. Abbott couldn't understand how she could engage in the activity they had engaged in without her being famished, like he was. But he kept that observation to himself.

All through the meal April talked animatedly to Tarpley, telling him she thought he would make a great leader, that he needed to stay safe and whole, to stay out of trouble, and to come back to them in one piece. She also told him that when he returned he should come up to Seattle so she could fix him up with some eligible friends of hers. This caused Abbott to pause mid bite, arching his eyebrows.

“What eligible friends are you talking about?” Abbott was familiar with April's circle of friends and could only think of a couple who weren't already paired up or otherwise interested in a male companion. “Do you mean Maggie Pierce?” he guessed.

Abbott took note of the shadow that fell across April's face at the mention of Maggie.

“No, not Pierce. She's found someone.” April answered, suddenly deeply interested in the buttered toast on her plate.

Abbott, who was beginning to tune into April's expressions and moods, quickly put two and two together. Pierce is with Jackson. Jackson is with Pierce. Jesus, that had to be rough. A friend, who she sees at work almost every day, with her ex. But, April was past the Jackson thing, right? Last night proved that. Didn't it? Suddenly Abbott felt uneasy. If that were true, why was she suddenly so uncomfortable?

Tarpley, though, was oblivious. “Okay, well if this Meggie Pierce is unavailable, what else ya got for me?”

“Well, there's Meredith Grey.” suggested April.

Abbott looked at April. That was a terrible idea. What's she thinking?

“What's she like?” asked Tarp.

“Nice. Smart. A brilliant surgeon. Very pretty.” April answered.

“Two kids. Tragic past. April, I'm not sure that would work.” Abbott interjected.

April looked at him sharply. “I have a kid. I have a tragic past. Are you saying women like us are too damaged to consider?”

Abbott realized that whatever was bothering her, he had just stepped in it. “I think you know that's not what I'm saying.” he answered her. _Damn it, what is going on with her?_

Tarpley looked back and forth between them. This wasn't good. He thought the fact that Abbott seemed to have been with her all morning was a good sign. But suddenly he wasn't so confident.  _I hope we didn't fuck up by bringing her down here._

“Uh, okay, so Meredith is a possible. Who else?” he asked, hoping to move the conversation and ease the sudden tension that permeated the air between them.

But April wasn't going to let that happen so easily. Her eyes were flashing. Abbott recognized that look too. “No, I heard what you said. It sounded like you're saying a woman with a child and baggage is something to be avoided.”

“When have I ever given you a reason to believe I thought that?” Abbott protested.

“Just now.” April was no longer speaking quietly. “And in Seattle too.”

“In Seattle?”

“Yes, you told me I needed therapy, that I was crazy.”

“I didn't mean...” Abbott was backpedaling furiously now. “I never said you were crazy.”

But April was on a roll now and wouldn't be stopped. Suddenly she was remembering things he had said to her. She had thought she had forgotten them. But is seemed to her as though everything had just gone sour. Jackson had found someone. Someone he preferred over her, after sleeping with her just a month earlier. And now she had gone and made the mistake of having sex with Abbott. Even when she knew it was impossible for them to be together for many, many reasons. And now he had added another... she was damaged goods. He had believed that for a long time, apparently. Why hadn't she realized it sooner?

“I've got to go.” She stood up. Abbott and Tarpley followed suit.

“April.” Abbott pleaded.

April hugged Tarpley as he stood dumbfounded next to her, unable to decipher what had happened right in front of him. “Take care of yourself. Come back safe. Write to me.” Then she addressed Abbott.

“I need my bag from the car.” she said to him coldly.

“Okay, let me pay the bill and I'll take you to the airp...”

“My bag, please. I'll find my own way to the airport.”

“April, please, just wait a ...”

“Give me my damn bag!” she shouted, tears spilling down her cheeks. Clayton's other patrons were all staring now.

Abbott looked at Tarpley helplessly. His friend came to the rescue as best he could.

“April, Can I take you to the airport? Would that be okay?”

She looked at the tall SEAL. He'd always tried to look out for her. “Yes, please, that would be great.”

Tarpley and Abbott exchanged looks and Abbott handed him the keys to the car. April turned without another word and made her way toward the parking lot. Tarpley followed, sympathetic to the pain he saw in his friends face.

As Abbott paid the check, Tarpley returned with the car keys.

“You going to be able to explain what the hell just happened?” he asked.

“Nope, not even a little bit.” answered Abbott sadly.

“Do you want to come and try to say goodbye?”

“Don't think that's a plan that will work, Tarp.”

“No, I don't suppose it would. I'll come by when I get back.”

“Bring booze.” Abbott ordered.

“Thought you gave that up?” Tarp answered.

“So did I.” Sam Abbott answered. “So did I.”

  
  


As her plane lifted off the runway at Lindbergh Field, April laid her head against the window. She'd done it again. She'd quite literally screwed things up. How could she have possibly thought she could sleep with Abbott and then fly away home like nothing happened?

He had picked her up at the Del, jumping out of the car to open her door for her, taking care of her rollerbag, being the perfect gentleman. Maybe it was all that thoughtfulness that threw her off balance, she thought. There had to be a way it was at least partly his fault. But she knew that it was all her this time.

He had been the one who they gave the medal for bravery to, not her. No, and after today, no one ever would. Because even as he drove her the few miles to Clayton's, she was already trying to figure out a way to get out of town without telling him the truth; that she wasn't interested in a relationship right now; that her heart was too damaged to give to anyone and she wasn't sure if it would ever heal; that she feared falling for a man who still loved a perfect, dead wife; a man who set the bar for courage and honor and selflessness so high as to be impossible to not disappoint.

But she couldn't tell him that could she? Not when he kept glancing at her beside him and grinning like a lovesick idiot. And certainly not when he turned those eyes full upon her and it was easy to see that the tone of their intensity had changed. The emotion that now rode along with that intensity scared the bejesus out of her.

But what scared her even more was that she kept having to fight the urge to grin right back at him. And who knew how her own eyes might have been betraying her right then? _Damn it April, you really stuck your foot in it this time._

But what was done was done. After her meltdown at the diner she was pretty sure the Abbott in love with her problem was resolved, though she wished she had handled it more artfully. Why couldn't she have just told him she wasn't interested in anything right now? That she wasn't ready for another relationship? That last night had just been for fun. Casual. Because she didn't love him. She didn't want to love him. Did she? Oh, God!

She had to take her mind off of this. She reached into her purse to find her iPad. Connecting to the wireless she checked the movie for this segment. “Zero Dark Thirty” Crap, a movie with a bunch of Navy SEALs in it wasn't going to work. She closed that app and opened her Hulu app to continue watching the series she had downloaded and started a few weeks ago. The first scene had that frizzy haired, nerdy girl, trying to kiss that good looking actor from Guardians of the Galaxy. But he dodges it and leaves her humiliated. _I know exactly how you feel, frizzy girl_ , April thought. She closed her iPad. _Maybe I'll just try to sleep_.

But of course she couldn't. Abbott said she was damaged. Okay, he had intimated it. And he HAD said she needed therapy. Right after she had told him about her and Jackson's messy situation. In retrospect, maybe she had overreacted. But it was better this way. This way he saw what a mess she was. That was better than any explaining she might have tried to do. And she wouldn't have to think about that grin. Or those eyes. Or the way his body felt entwined with hers.

Except she was thinking about it. “Uuhhggnnhh!”

The person in the aisle seat next to her looked at her. She hadn't meant to say anything out loud. It was going to be a long flight home.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Too much, too soon for poor April.  
> But is Sampril already sunk?
> 
> Apologies as it may be awhile before we find out. I'll be traveling and unable to update until early July (although I may sneak one more in before I go). Please come back and check then.  
> Thanks for reading. As always, comments are deeply appreciated.


	9. Ripples

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> April returns to Seattle and Jackson finds out where she's been.  
> But word of her Coronado meltdown appears to have spread throughout Southern Cali and may have cost her an important new friendship.

It's funny sometimes how something to which you have little or no connection can start a series of cascading events that end up profoundly impacting your life.

Such was the case for April Kepner, when Marine Lance Corporal Vincent Scalia went up for a rebound in a pickup basketball game at Camp Lemonnier, in Djibouti, over thirteen thousand kilometers away from April's home in Seattle. Lance Corporal Scalia didn't get the rebound but he did come down on the foot of Petty Officer Daniel Woods, US Navy SEAL, breaking two bones in the SEAL's foot.

Over PO Woods protests that he could tough it out when his team was sent to Yemen the following day, he was replaced as team leader by the newly arrived PO Roland Tarpley. And so the ripples began.

  
  


April had landed at SEATAC a week earlier, still smarting over how her eventful weekend trip and ended so catastrophically. Turning on her phone, it got a little worse. Jackson had left a voicemail just an hour earlier. Harriet had consumed almost all of the breast milk April had supplied and he wanted to come over and pick more up to tide him over until she returned to April Thursday night. April thought she had supplied way more than enough to last. She wondered if Jackson had given in to Harriet's preference for a bottle over eating solids and let her overindulge. If so, he would hear about it from April. She wasn't going to be a frickin dairy cow just because he didn't have the courage to defy his one year old daughter.

Her Uber dropped her off in front of her apartment and she wearily dragged her rollerbag through the lobby. She had just plopped herself down on the couch with a cold beer in hand when Jackson called again. Reluctantly, she agreed to him coming over to pick up the 'emergency' cache in her refrigerator.

She barely had time to finish the beer before her doorbell rang. She got up and went to the door to let him in. She was disappointed that he didn't have Harriet with him. That meant that not only did she not get to see her daughter but that someone, probably Maggie, was at Jackson's late at night watching her. God, she thought, my life kinda sucks right now.

Jackson, by contrast, seemed to be in a great mood. Probably from hooking up with Pierce, she thought. I was in a pretty great mood about twelve hours ago too. Geez, was that just this morning? It felt like weeks ago already. She found herself wishing Jackson could have seen her then. Right now though, she was in a crappy mood. And more than happy to share it with her ex.

“So how is it that Harriet's burned through all that milk I gave you Thursday night?” she pointedly inquired.

She saw that familiar evasive expression creep across his handsome features. I KNEW it, she thought.

“Just a hungry nugget, I guess. Except when it comes to strained carrots and that funky green stuff.”

“Jackson, you've got to be firm with her. She has to eat that stuff. It's good for her. She shouldn't be having so much milk now.”

“Come on, April, you know breast milk is good for her. Lots of people breast feed all the way to two years and even beyond.”

“Yes, Jackson,” If he wanted to debate this tonight, she was more than up for it. “Yes, but everyone says solids after six months.”

“Yeah, yeah, OK. But you know she is pretty stubborn...”

Don't say it, April warned in her head.

“Just like her mother.” he finished, smiling at his playful little jab.

Before April could respond to it though, Jackson's smile disappeared of its own accord. He had spotted her rollerbag where she had left it next to the couch.

“So,” he inquired, “you going somewhere?”

“Just back, actually.” she answered.

“Huh.”

April recognized that expression too. Maybe something good would still come out of the day. But she decided she wouldn't volunteer anything. He would need to work for his information. She knew he wouldn't be able to resist.

“So, that's why you took so long to call me back.”

Unbelievable! It had literally been an hour. Did he expect her to be at his beck and call? But she already knew the answer to that was 'yes'.

“Yeah, I was still in the air when you called the first time.”

“Oh, you flew somewhere?”

“Yes.” Twist in the wind a little while longer, Mr Avery.

“Visiting the family in the Midwest?” he guessed.

Right, because in your mind I have nowhere else to go. “Nope.”'

She could see that Jackson's curiosity was at war with his pride over this. He was dying to know where April had flown off to for the weekend but sure didn't want her to know it. Yeah, this was enjoyable. It would be even more enjoyable to tell him the truth. But he still had a little more work to do.

But if April knew Jackson, he knew her just as well. And it suddenly dawned on him that she was playing him. He smiled. Okay, April, you win this round. Life was good. He could sacrifice a little pride. He had plenty to spare.

“Okay, April, I give up. What cool and exotic place called you away from Seattle this weekend?”

She smiled. “California. I was in Coronado.”

Jackson was puzzled. Like April had been prior to last Thursday, he had no idea where Coronado was or why it would be worth a weekend visit.

April read his lack of recognition. “It's near San Diego.”

“Oh, and what's in Coronado?”

“Big Navy bases.” she answered. That should do it.

It did.

The smile faded from Jackson's face. “Abbott.” he said flatly. Well played, April, well played.

  
  


Jackson had beat a hasty retreat after April's big reveal. He hadn't queried her for details and she hadn't offered any. She had been tempted to tell him about the Navy Cross but decided against it when she realized it wouldn't mean much to him anyway. Better to let him guess at why she would fly down to Coronado to spend the weekend with him.

Truth be told, she felt a little guilty for using Abbott to make Jackson jealous, especially after the circumstances of her abrupt and painful departure from the SEAL. But it had been too good an opportunity to pass up. And she was a little surprised at the power it had over Jackson. He had definitely left in a much less good mood than he had arrived with. She wasn't sure what to make of that except to take a little satisfaction that maybe he hadn't moved as far on as he liked to think.

Exhausted, she got ready for bed, turned out the light, and crawled in when one last event occurred. Her phone vibrated and lit up with a text from Hannah Rogers.

“ **APRIL WTF?!?”**

April sighed. After an incredible weekend with friends old and new, she found herself back where she started, feeling friendless and alone. She hit the button to turn off her screen, set her phone down on the nightstand, and hid herself in her blankets, praying for sleep to take her quickly.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As much as April has grown over the years I think she still has a tendency to overthink things. But we'll have to see whether the ripples will reach all the way to Seattle.


	10. Return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A military crisis sends Abbott back in harms way and April back to Coronado.

Having just finished an emergency thoracotomy, April was on her way back to the ER to finish her shift when her phone buzzed insistently. Checking the number she was surprised to see it was Hannah Rogers calling. April hadn’t had any contact with her since the night she had returned from Coronado and received her ‘WTF?’ text message. She hadn’t replied because she figured that she had doomed that budding friendship when she’d screwed things up with Abbott.

There had to be a reason for Hannah to be calling her now, a month later. As usual, April feared it was about Abbott. She detoured to the Attendings lounge to take the call.

“Hannah?”

“April. Two things. First, I thought we were friends. But then you leave town and don’t even respond to me? What the fuck is that?” Hannah sounded mad and upset.

“I thought you hated me. After I screwed everything up with Abbott I didn’t think you’d want to be friends with me still.” April responded.

“Well you did fuck things up with Sam and I may never forgive you for that but why would you think I wouldn’t still want to be friends with you?”

April closed her eyes. _Jesus, I am such an idiot_. “I am so so sorry. It was stupid of me to assume that.”

“Yeah, it was. But I can get on your case about that later. There’s a more immediate thing.”

“Immediate thing? Is it Sam?” April asked. Were her fears correct this time?

“Yes, sort of. April have you been following the news?”

The news? April was a busy single mother juggling her career and a complicated personal life. No, she didn’t have a lot of time for the news. _Abbott was in the news?_

“What news,” she asked?

“Yemen. The soldiers killed?” Hannah said.

_Soldiers killed? Oh God!_ “Abbott?” April asked. She thought she was going to be sick.

“April, no, not Abbott.” Hannah answered testily. _Was April forgetting that Abbott was stuck in Coronado? Clearly they have not been in contact with each other. Oh, April, you’re really missing a chance for something good._

But April was overcome by relief that Abbott was still alive. Then she caught her breath and considered what possible connection Abbott might have with soldiers being killed in Yemen.

Hannah Rogers answered that for her in a three word sentence.

“It’s Tarpley, April.”

  
  


Tarpley’s SEAL team had been in Yemen for a week, working with a small group of militia fighting ISIS forces which had recently been gaining strength in the civil war raging there. Their mission was to help train and provide logistical support for friendly forces.

Tarp found Yemen to be even more of a mess than any of the other places he had deployed to. Worse even than Somalia or Syria, which were absolute chaos. Still, the SEALs had a mission and were doing their best to succeed at it. Then it all went horribly wrong.

Three of Tarp’s team were pouring over a map with a friendly tribal leader when the suicide bomber, wearing a friendly uniform over his explosive laden vest, walked into the tent and detonated it. Besides vaporizing himself, he also managed to instantly kill the three SEALs, the friendly tribal leader and his top Lieutenants, and a dozen or so friendly fighters in the vicinity of the tent.

Chaos and confusion reigned as Tarpley and his two remaining team members scrambled to get on top of the situation. Their efforts were complicated when gunfire erupted on the perimeter of the camp as ISIS forces took advantage of the destruction to launch an attack that quickly overran the defenses and sent the friendlies fleeing.

Tarpley and his two mates were able to hold out for a short while but then the SEALs were reduced to two, and then one, and then, that one, Tarpley, expended the last of his ammunition. Radio communication to Camp Lemmonier ceased and the American command there had to rely on a drone to tell them what was going on in the desert.

A rescue mission was hastily arranged with two Army Delta chalks dispatched to the scene to render aid. But by the time their helos arrived onsite two hours later they found only the shattered remnants of the camp, the meager remains of three Navy SEALs, and a few scared Yemeni militiamen. Three SEALs were missing and presumed captured, including Petty Officer Roland Tarpley, team leader.

Analysis from the Predator drone seemed to indicate that the ISIS force had quickly scattered with their prize, probably trying to get their SEAL captives to safer territory, and undoubtedly aware the Americans would do their best to track and rescue their men. The analysts concluded from the drone telemetry that at least one of the Americans was wounded but alive and had been moved several kilometers to a small village in an ISIS controlled area. This intelligence was shared with the Naval command across the globe. In Coronado, California, the events in Yemen were already reverberating across the Naval Special Warfare Base.

  
  


A humvee pulled up at the beach site where twenty-two remaining BUD/S trainees were engaged in holding heavy rubber Zodiacs above their heads while trying to remain standing in the 2-3 foot surf just off the beach. Their trainers were busy yelling at them and urging them to wise up and end their torture by climbing back up on the beach and ringing a bell that would announce their defeat and exit from the program.

An officer in khaki approached the SEAL officer overseeing the exercise and spoke to him briefly. In turn, the SEAL grabbed a nearby bullhorn and yelled “Chief Abbott, report to me immediately.”

Chief Petty Officer Sam Abbott threw his last bucket of sea water on a group of nearby trainees and trotted up the sand to his commanding officer, saluting, and listening intently to the man from the humvee. Then he was running to the humvee himself and soon on his way back to the base proper. Unexpectedly, he was going to be given a chance to deploy overseas again, but only in the worst possible circumstance.

Abbott’s humvee was met by Bill Cooper, who had recently been talked out of civilian life to rejoin the Navy as one of Admiral Szymanski's aides. The men shook hands and made their way into the Admiral’s office.

Admiral Szymanski didn’t waste time on pleasantries. “Chief Abbott. We have a situation in Yemen that requires your skill set. You’ll go directly to the aircraft where you’ll meet your team and be briefed on the tactical situation on the ground. Because time is of the essence you’ll HALO to the target, lead the rescue, and exfiltrate to the Camp Lemmonier where the condition of the men will determine the next step. Any questions, Chief?”

“No, sir.” Abbott answered. Everything he needed to know he would learn on the long flight to Yemen.

The Admiral looked hard at Abbott. “Your personal connection to Tarpley won't be a problem, will it Chief?”

“No, sir.”

“Very well, then. Dismissed.” The Admiral returned Abbott’s salute.

As Abbott was about to walk through his office door, the Admiral added, “Chief.”

Abbott turned. “Sir?”

“Bring our boys back.”

“Aye Aye, Sir.” Abbott answered.

  
  


“Chief, I have a family emergency and need to have the ER covered for my next two shifts.”

Bailey looked up from her desk. “Kepner, who is it? Your parents? Sisters? It’s not Harriett is it?”

“No, they are all fine.” April suddenly realized she had told Bailey it was a family emergency when in fact, it was her SEAL family. Had that been some sort of Freudian slip? Or perhaps just another opportunity to sow confusion where none was required?

Bailey was clearly confused but April decided to just push through it rather than explain. “Chief, please, I just need to be there.”

Bailey was aware of how tough things had been for April these last couple of months. It had to be rough for her to see her ex with Maggie every day. She had been certain that April and Jackson would eventually reunite. And although she kept it to herself, she had come to appreciate April, especially when she had come through for her during Meredith Grey’s little revolt over Minnick.

“Alright, Kepner, we’ll cover it. Take care of your family but then get yourself back here as soon as you can. That ER falls apart without you and that makes extra work for me. I don’t like extra work. Understand?”

“Understood, Chief, and thanks.”

Bailey waved her off and went back to her paperwork.

April went to find Jackson to talk about changing up Harriet’s schedule.

  
  


The C17 transport carrying Abbott and his elite team of SEAL operators had already left US airspace but was still several hours away from a midair refueling rendezvous somewhere over the Western Pacific.

The briefing had been short and concise, mainly because not a lot was known for sure at this point. The drone had tracked the group of ISIS fighters believed to be transporting the SEALs to a small village where they were laying low for the moment.

Analysts theorized that the enemy knew they were being watched from above either by drone, satellite, or both. Therefore they were waiting out the daylight in hopes that the American eyes would be easier to deceive in the dark. Also, the kind of deception required to defeat the high tech surveillance required some time to set up and so it was likely that was a work in progress as well. The enemy seemed to feel that time was on their side and that the Americans would have great difficulty putting together and effective rescue mission before they could make their captives disappear into the hinterlands of Yemen.

And, in fact, the enemy held most of the cards as Abbott and team raced against time to find their friends and rescue them before they could be killed or spirited away from their tracking.

It would be close. Abbott and team would jump shortly after sunset. If the ISIS fighters moved their captives as soon as the sun set, the SEALs would be too late. If, however, they made a later departure, Abbott and team had a chance.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hows this for quick updates after my short hiatus? It's all due to my new favorite mode of transportation- the FlixBus, and it's power outlets and halfway decent WiFi that allowed me to knock this out between breathtaking scenery going from point to point in Europe. Crap, I miss it already and I just got home.  
> Hope you like this chapter. I appreciate your patience in letting me set this up before we move the show back to more familiar Grey Sloan territory.
> 
> As always, thanks so much for reading. And especial thanks for leaving a comment too.


	11. Homecoming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A crisis prompts April to make another trip to Coronado on short notice.

“Jackson, please, I just need you to take her a day earlier.” April pleaded.

Jackson was midway through a liposuction procedure.

“Kind of short notice, April. What’s up?” Jackson had no problem with taking his daughter a day early but he remained curious about why April was making this last minute request. He wondered if it had to do in some way with Abbott. That April had spent the weekend in Southern California with the SEAL surgeon had left him with an odd uneasiness that he couldn’t explain.

“I have to make a trip on short notice. Just please.” April had not wanted to share any details with Bailey, and wanted even less to share any with Jackson.

Jackson paused, looking up from his patient. “Everything okay?”

“Yes. No. I don’t know. That’s why I have to go. Will you just do it? Please?”

He looked back down to where he was suctioning up fat cells. “Another trip to SoCal?”

“Not your business.” Now April was getting a bit peeved at her ex-husband. He was clearly extorting information from her.

“I’d say it is my business if you want me to adjust my schedule to accommodate your adventures.” Jackson said, sounding a bit more petulant than he might have desired.

“Look, just forget it. I’ll ask Catherine. You can pick Harriet up at her place on your regular schedule.”

“Okay, okay, relax. I’ll do it. I just wish you’d give me a little more heads up when you plan to go play around for a long weekend.”

April debated a retort but decided she was better served having him believe what he wanted to.

“Thanks. I’ll drop her stuff off at daycare.” She ducked out of the OR. Things had really deteriorated between them but right then she had other more pressing things on her mind.

  
  


This time it was Hannah Rogers that met her leaving the gate area at Lindbergh Field. Hannah embraced her and April hugged her back, relieved that her poor treatment of Abbott during her last trip to Coronado hadn’t cost her the budding friendship with the sister of Abbott’s late wife, Amy.

But Hannah was clearly stressed. “April, I talked to Bill Cooper this afternoon. He said he couldn’t tell me any details but that they thought Tarp was alive and that Sam was gone. He wouldn’t tell me anything else but said I should draw my own conclusions.”

Abbott was gone? April’s mind was racing. But he had said they wouldn’t send him out again since he had won the Navy Cross. If Tarpley had survived Yemen, had Abbott been sent to find him? Rescue him, maybe? Were both men in terrible danger? Fear rose in the pit of April’s stomach. If something happened to Abbott after what she had done … If something happened to him. Suddenly, none of those reasons she had for them not being together meant a damn thing. She wanted him home safely. She wanted him home. She wanted him.

April and Hannah checked in to a hotel in downtown Coronado. Hannah looked at April and apologetically explained, “ I couldn’t book us into the Del on this short of notice.” And April finally knew who her anonymous benefactor was from the previous trip.

Although nothing like the Del, the hotel was clean and safe and April was happy to share a room with Hannah who, true to her word, wasn’t going to let April’s Abbott disaster derail her friendship with the trauma surgeon from Seattle.

They went out to dinner at a nearby restaurant and the conversation picked up immediately like it had before. Hannah had few additional details to share other than to say Bill Cooper had contacted her even though it violated about a million rules, to tell her that Tarpley had been involved in the tragedy in Yemen and that Abbott was somehow involved too. He had also told her to standby for more developments and that she wasn’t to tell anyone else anything unless they happened to be close to either one of the SEALs.

Hannah had taken that to mean it was okay to contact April. April thanked her profusely. But Hannah waved that off. “Of course, I had to debate telling you after I found out you had broken Sam’s heart before you left to go home. What did you do?”

And April found herself confessing everything to her red haired friend. By the time she had finished, Hannah was shaking her head. “What the hell were you thinking, April? You really screwed the pooch. There’s no better guy than Sam and he cares so much for you. Then you go and F it up?”

“What makes you think he cares for me?” April asked.

“April, Sam doesn’t do casual. If he’s in, he’s all in. In everything. And he hasn’t been with anyone since Amy died.”

“He’s still in love with her.” April admitted. It was her biggest reason for doubting her chances with Abbott.

“Of course he is. He always will be. But he’s got enough heart for the both of you. Besides, don’t you think you’ll always have a little love for Jack too?”

“Jackson, you mean? Yes, I suppose I will. Although right now he is making me question that a little.”

Hannah looked at her sympathetically. “Things a little rough on that front too? God, I’m thankful things are so good with Ephraim. I don’t know how I’d ever manage that sort of drama in my own life.”

“Instead of in mine?” April asked with a knowing smile.

“Okay, Okay, you’re on to me. But when Sam came home and talked about this Doc Kepner he met in Jordan, of all places, I could see he was already feeling something, something he hadn’t had in a long time. And then I cornered Tarpley and he gave up all kinds of details that pretty much confirmed what I thought I saw.”

“And then Abbott shows up in Seattle at my hospital.” April added.

“Right? So we know God is on board.”

April got a good laugh out of that. But a part of her, the part that appreciated the idea of fate and destiny and divine intervention, acknowledged there might be some truth to that.

April shook her head sadly. “Well, apparently I can even derail God’s plans. After that meltdown I doubt Sam will want to come within a country mile of me again.”

“Oh, April, do you seriously believe Sam Abbott can be discouraged from something he wants that easily?”

“I wouldn’t know how to begin fixing it.” April protested.

Hannah Rogers shook her head. “April, you’re here aren’t you?”

  
  


The sun was just rising when Hannah’s phone began buzzing insistently. She picked it up, checked the number, and answered it.

“What?” Hannah scrambled for the notepad on the nightstand between the beds. “The Blue Dolphin”, she read off the letterhead.

“Yes.” April heard her say. “Yes, April Kepner.”

“OK, fifteen minutes.” Hannah threw her phone back down onto her bed.

“Bill Cooper is picking us up in fifteen minutes in front of the hotel. No phones, purses, or anything else besides ID.”

April jumped out of bed and reached for her roller bag.

  
  


They drove in silence. Both women knew better than to question Bill Cooper. April took some hope from his expression, figuring if Abbott or Tarpley were dead, the man’s face would betray it. Fortunately she wasn’t aware how false that assumption was.

They passed Cooper the IDs they had been issued when they came on base to Abbott’s medal ceremony and he passed them to the gate guards.

April was aware that this was a different base, not the Special Warfare base that she had been on before. This base, encompassing the entire western half of Coronado, was the massive Naval Air Station Coronado, home to part of the aviation wing of the US Navy.

Cooper confidently navigated the maze of streets and before long April could see the runways and taxiways of the airfield, and many planes of all shapes and sizes scattered either in the open or in the hangars that dotted the periphery.

Cooper pulled to a stop and they exited the car. He gave them short concise instructions in his clipped ‘Navy’ voice.

“Stand there, in the shade and this end of the building. You are here to observe only. Do not say anything to anyone unless they are wearing a Navy uniform and talk to you first. And even then, don’t mention Abbott, Tarpley, Yemen, or anything else. This entire situation is highly classified and you are never to discuss it with anyone. Ever. Understood?”

Both women nodded solemnly.

“Okay, I’ll be right over there. Once the show is over I’ll come back over and we’ll leave. Questions?”

Both women shook their heads. They knew Cooper had no intention of answering the questions they would have liked to ask.

  
  


The day was warming up as the sun rose and the minutes passed. It would be easier to wait patiently if I knew what the hell I was waiting for, thought April. They passed the time watching the aircraft takeoff and land from a nearby runway. They were mainly huge lumbering cargo planes coming and going but every once in awhile a sleek fighter jet would roll out and, with a huge roar, fly down the runway and rocket up into the sky.

A hundred feet away they could see Bill Cooper, in his Navy khakis, had been joined by a group of other Navy personnel. April squinted and thought she recognized the Admiral, Szymanski, who had awarded the Navy Cross to Abbott.

A few minutes later they became aware that one of the lumbering cargo planes that they had seen land a few minutes earlier was now heading their way. At the last moment it turned away from them and April assumed it would continue moving to another position but instead the pitch of it’s huge jet engines changed and she could see ground personnel rushing out of the building to go place large blocks in its wheels. The jet blades began to slow but even before they stopped spinning the back end of the plane began to descend.

Once the ramp rested on the ground, figures began to emerge from the aircraft. The first man, assisted by a couple of uniformed men who April guessed might be medics, moved slowly and she could see he was heavily bandaged. “Tarpley” Hannah breathed beside her.

The Admiral and Cooper led a large group of men to meet the aircraft as soon as the door began to come down. When Tarpley met them, he straightened himself up, with obvious effort, and snapped a salute toward Admiral Szymanski . He returned it and reached out to take the place of the medic, helping guide Tarpley to wheelchair that had been wheeled out for him. Two gurneys followed Tarpley down the ramp and the Admiral greeted each, shaking the hand of the man on the bed. April couldn’t tell who was on the gurneys and wondered if one of them bore Abbott.

As the wounded were being hurried toward the building, the Admiral and Cooper remained at the bottom of the ramp as six more men emerged, carrying duffles of gear. Each saluted as they reached Admiral Szymanski, who returned their salutes and shook each man’s hand.

It was April who identified the last man off the plane as Abbott. It was only then, seeing him whole and unharmed and safe again, that she realized the weight of the fear she had been feeling for him. She looked at Hannah, who looked back at her and each realized they were both crying. They laughed amid their tears.

  
  


“Chief Abbott, well done.” The Admiral returned Abbott’s salute.

“Aye Aye, Sir.”

“Glad to have you back here.”

“They are a little short handed over there, Sir.” Abbott’s belief that he should be ‘operational’ again was well known to the Admiral commanding the SEALs.

“My problem, not yours, Chief. Take a couple of days, relax, then come see me.” Only the extreme circumstances in Yemen had prompted Szymanski to send Abbott out on a mission again. It was time to pass the torch. He had done his time. The Admiral planned to make very clear to him his feelings on the matter.

“Aye Aye, Sir.” Abbott repeated, glanced at Bill Cooper, who stood smiling behind the Admiral’s shoulder, and fell in behind the other members of his team heading toward the building.

As he walked he glanced to his right and saw the women, recognizing them instantly. What the F, he thought? That civilians should be here at all was totally unexpected. That one of them was April ‘Meltdown’ Kepner was absolutely shocking. She had been so clearly not interested in a relationship with him, after basically ravishing him for the previous twelve hours, that he had been trying desperately to expel thoughts of her from his mind, granted, not very successfully.

He found that he had come to a stop, unsure of what he should do.

  
  


“I’ve got to talk to him.” April said out loud, though not really to Hannah.

“What? April, you can’t. Bill said …”

But April was already walking toward Abbott.

  
  


He saw her start towards him. Oh, shit, she can’t come out onto the field. Abbott started to walk towards her.

  
  


April saw him now moving towards her. He looks so good. He looks tired. But he looks tired and good. Oh God, is this what you want for me? Without waiting for an answer she began to run.

  
  


When he saw her begin to run to him, any intentions he might have had about erasing her from his thoughts and life vanished in the moment. He dropped the duffle he was carrying onto the concrete. As April covered the last distance between them all he could think about was how beautiful she is. And then she was there, launching herself into his arms. And he really had no choice but to catch her, did he?

  
  


A hundred feet away, the Admiral and Bill Cooper watched Abbott catch April and the kissing that followed.

“Admiral, I’m so sorry. I gave them specific instructions ..”

Admiral Szymanski waved off Bill Cooper’s apology. He recognized that his conversation with Chief Abbott about his future had just gotten much easier.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes you just have to give in to your feelings.  
> But what comes next?
> 
> Thanks for reading. Hope you might consider commenting too, just to let me know if this is working or not.


	12. Onward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> April and Abbott meet on neutral ground to decide their future, if any, together. Will April hang in there this time or take flight once again? Can they find a way to navigate through the concerns each has? Guess you'll need to read the thing to find out.

Hannah had just finished checking out at The Blue Dolphin hotel.

“Honestly, Hannah, you don’t have to leave. I know you want to see him too.” April told her friend.

“Sweetie, I live a couple of hours away, give or take a half day for traffic. I can interrogate Sam any old time. But you have this one chance to straighten things out with him and I’d just be in the way.” Hannah replied. “Besides, I’ll expect a full report from you when you call me immediately after you land in Seattle tomorrow.”

“Yes, Ma’am.” April saluted, poorly. “But I don’t think you’d be in the way. I think maybe having you around might keep me from running off the rails again.”

“April, you’re going to have to figure this thing out yourselves. You know what I’m hoping for but that doesn’t matter a whit. Talk to him. Tell him how you feel and what you fear. Let him do the same. If it’s meant to be then it’s meant to be and you’ll know it.”

April had always been a fan of meant to be but still. “Talking has never been my strong suit.” she admitted.

Hannah looked at her. “Then try listening. Listen to him. Listen to your heart. Come on, April, you got this. But I gotta go anyway. The kids will run roughshod over Ephraim and destroy my house if I don’t get back there and restore order.”

April hugged her friend and Hannah hugged her back just as tightly. April wondered how this person she barely knew had become so dear to her so quickly.

  
  


Abbott navigated the streets of Coronado, guided by his app, toward The Blue Dolphin. He was still stunned by the experience of walking down the ramp of the C17 and having April Kepner run into his arms. Her presence always seemed to catch him by surprise. First, in Jordan, the last thing he had expected was to meet a dead ringer for his dead wife. Then, in what had to be the biggest coincidence in the history of coincidence, he reports to the same hospital she works at and is welcomed to the facility by none other than her husband. Check that, ex-husband. That she appeared at the Del for his medal ceremony certainly had not been coincidence. Conspiracy was a better fit for that. The guys had been aided and abetted by Hannah in setting that one up. And then this morning. How had that happened? No one was even supposed to know that SEALs had been captured, much less rescued. Had Bill Cooper somehow been co-opted? Bill Cooper? It boggled the mind.

But it had happened. April Kepner had been there and ran into his arms. And against his better judgment he had let it happen and kissed her back and now he was just as much a goner for her as he had been that morning when he woke up next to her at the Del. But he couldn’t help but wonder which April he would find waiting for him at The Blue Dolphin, the April that jumped into his arms this morning, or the one who accused him of referring to her as damaged goods another morning not too long ago.

His GPS enabled app announced he had arrived at his destination and he found a parking space in the corner of the lot. That morning he had promised April he would fetch her for dinner that evening so they could talk. He drew some hope from that. Why would she want to talk unless she had decided to pursue something with him? Unless of course she just wanted some sort of closure after that scene at the diner. With April, there was no predicting. But the kisses …

He found her room and knocked on the door. After a brief moment the door opened and there she stood. She was dressed casually, in jeans and a long sleeved shirt. He appreciated how good she looked with minimal makeup. He knew she was the type of woman he could take backpacking and she would still be gorgeous no matter how many days on the trail.

She stepped aside to allow him to enter but he remained in the hallway. April looked at him quizzically for a moment then smiled in understanding. “You’re brave enough to go who knows where to rescue your friends but not to come into my hotel room?”

“You are more dangerous than any of those guys.” Abbott replied. “Especially in there.” He indicated the bed.

“Hmmm. I’ll take that as a compliment I think. But really, I’m harmless. No plans to jump you or anything. Quite the opposite in fact.”

“Don’t think either of us planned anything last time either and look how that turned out,” he replied.

“I thought that part of it turned out pretty well, actually. It wasn’t until we left the room that things went south. But, I reiterate, I only want to talk. No hanky panky. I swear.”

“Even so, if it’s all the same to you. How about we talk someplace else? Over dinner?” Abbott offered.

“Okay, I’ll humor you. You buying?”

“Sure.”

  
  


They decided to forego driving and just walk through downtown until they found something that looked promising. As they strolled the streets they made some perfunctory small talk, Abbott asking April about Harriet and Grey Sloan and she inquiring about the latest with Ruiz, Davis, and Scott Triplett.

It didn’t take long to find a little Mexican food place that appeared to be pretty popular so they put their name on a list and went to the bar to wait out the estimated fifteen to twenty minutes to be seated.

April sipped on her Margarita while Abbott took a long draw on his Modelo draft. Neither said much of anything until they watched a waitress go by bearing a tray with a dozen tacos on it. They looked at each other and simultaneously said “Taco” and both laughed.

“Is Tarpley going to be OK?” April asked him.

“Yeah. It was pretty rough but he’ll be OK, eventually.”

“And the other guys?”

“Pretty bad. They’ll make it, I think, but they’re hurt bad and will probably never be back to 100%”

“What about you?” April asked, looking at him carefully.

“Me? I’m fine.” Abbott answered, but he wouldn’t look her in the eye.

“I see you’re back to alcohol.” She indicated his beer.

“It’s just a beer, April,” he sighed.

“Wasn’t it you who told me that alcohol wasn’t good for you?”

“Wasn’t it you that freaked out in a diner not too far from here and left without saying goodbye,” he answered a little too quickly.

April’s jaw dropped and her cheeks colored instantly. “Wow! When you want to change the subject you don’t mess around. Don’t beat around the bush, Sam, what’s on your mind?”

“You, dammit, you’re on my mind. Like all the frickin time. But I have no idea what is going on with you. One minute you won’t let me out of your bed and the next you’re putting words in my mouth and storming off without saying so long. I don’t have a frickin clue where I stand with you and it’s driving me crazy.”

April took a deep breath. Her initial inclination was to defend herself somehow but with great effort she succeeded in fighting that off.

“You don’t have a clue where you stand with me? How many clues do I have to go on with you? When did you start having feelings for me? Jordan? Seattle, maybe? Before or after you tried to help me get back together with Jackson? I reacted badly that last time. I admit it. But I’m just as out on a limb as you are here. Maybe worse. Things are very confusing and messed up for me right now, with Jackson, with you. I’m sorry, I truly am, but as much as I want us to give this a shot, I’m not sure I can right now.”

Abbott looked down into his beer. April recognized his habit of of averting his gaze while he digested information. After several moments, his eyes came back up and met hers.

“Okay, I get all that. But forget all that other stuff. Forget the Jackson stuff. Forget all the reasons you think we can’t make this work. Forget it all. Now, tell me how you feel about me. Tell me whether you want it to work. Because I’ll tell you. Just so you’re clear. I want you. I want us. Like I haven’t wanted anything since Amy. And I don’t care what kind of obstacles stand in the way. I don’t care if I have to wait until you’re ready. I don’t care how many excuses you can think of for not trying. If you want me like I want you, then I’m in. All the way in. But if you don’t, tell me and I’ll never bother you again.”

April took a deep breath. In her mind she flashed back to Jackson Avery standing in the aisle telling her he loved her and asking if she loved him. Her answer to him had totally changed the course of her life. This felt exactly the same. What she answered Sam Abbott would similarly determine what path her life would take.

“Okay” she answered.

“Okay? Okay what?” Abbott demanded, frustration creeping into his tone.

“Okay, I’m in. I’m in too. All the way,” she clarified. “I want us. I want you.”

The next thing she knew she was being swung around beside their table as Abbott gave a loud whoop, a huge grin plastered across his face. The other patrons were all looking and a few began clapping, assuming probably that April had just accepted Abbott’s proposal, which was, after all, not too far off the mark.

She looked down at his face from where he held her still. “You didn’t think I’d go for it,” she semi-smiled down at him.

“Nope, I thought it was a suicide mission for sure.” Abbott admitted.

“Oh, it may still turn out to be suicide but at least we’ll make a run at it.”

“Kepner, there’s nothing the two of us can’t beat,” he answered confidently.

“I like that confidence but maybe you can put me down now so this nice lady can show us to our table.”

Abbott turned his head to see the hostess standing next to them with a slightly embarrassed smile on her face and two menus in her hand. “Maybe you’d like to see our To Go menu instead,” she asked?

“No, no, we’re only talking tonight,” he answered her.

“Right, no hanky panky” added April.

“Hanky panky, right,” the hostess said under her breath as she guided them to their table.

  
  


During dinner they talked about what was next, what obstacles they both saw, and how they might resolve some of them.

“The most obvious problem is that you are here, for the moment at least, and I am in Seattle. Long distance relationships are rough, particularly if they deploy you again.”

“Well, you can relax about the deployment thing. My commanding officer has made it very clear that I won’t be deployed again. Tarp was a special case.”

“Still, San Diego and Seattle are not exactly close.” April persisted.

“I don’t suppose you are interested in moving down here?”

“Not going to happen any time soon. My career and my child are there and I can’t afford any more grief with Jackson. Moving would surely cause a bunch. Maybe someday but no time soon.”

“Well, then I guess I’m headed back up to Seattle.”

“You’d do that? For me?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“What about the Navy?”

“I’m at the point in my contract where I can convert from active duty to reserve any time I want.

“And that leaves you free to move to Seattle?” April asked excitedly. Not only would that solve the distance problem, it would also solve another problem for her, one that she was afraid to discuss with Abbott. She didn’t think she could stand waiting for him at home while he deployed overseas into dangerous circumstances. She couldn’t bear to think of him being wounded or killed while she wouldn’t even know where he was.

Jackson would have recognized that fear.

“That leaves me free to move to Seattle.” Abbott confirmed. “I’ll put in a call to my contacts at Bauer to see if they can hook me up with something.”

“Bauer? Why not come back to Grey Sloan? I told you we have an opening and Bailey would love to have you.”

“Yeah, but would you? I mean it might be a little weird for you to have me there. And Jackson there…”

“You don’t think it’s already weird for me? My ex is with a colleague I used to be pretty good friends with. No, I’m not worried about that at all.” April replied confidently.

“Okay, I’ll reach out to Bailey and see if she’s interested.”

“I’ll talk to her as soon as I get back.” April volunteered.

Abbott put up his hand. “Whoa, let me ask her. That way I’ll know she is doing it because she wants me not as a favor to you.”

“Okay, okay, but I’m telling you, she’ll be thrilled.”

April saw Abbott shift in his seat and his eyes darting around the room.

“What?” She asked.

Abbott took a deep breath. “Speaking of Jackson…”

“Nothing to talk about. We are way over. Things are a little uncomfortable right now but we’ll get over it in time. We both are committed to Harriet and making sure she has the best of us that we can be.”

“So I don’t have to worry about him begging you to come back to him?”

“Even if he did, which he won’t, it is out of the question that I’d even consider it. That ship has sailed.” April stated firmly. She could plainly see the doubt that remained in Abbott’s expression. “Really, Sam, if you don’t believe me about this we might as well give up now.”

A moment later Abbott shrugged and appeared to have put aside his doubts, at least for the moment. But April saw this as an opportunity to bring up another of her own concerns.

“Abbott, I’m a little nervous about how closely I resemble Amy. If you are worried about competing with my living ex husband, I am even more worried about competing with your perfect late wife.”

Abbott seemed genuinely surprised at this one. “April, your resemblance to Amy has nothing to do with how I feel about you, at least not in the way you’re thinking. I mean, yeah, I find you both physically attractive, I mean that much is pretty obvious. But I don’t see her when I look at you, if that’s what you’re worried about. The similarities between you that I love are the traits you share like your smarts, your kindness, your strength, your sense of humor. But even in that you are both unique.”

April’s eyes were shining so Abbott figured he had said the right things. The way she was looking at him made him feel like his heart might explode.

“And, if it makes you feel any better, she never drove me as crazy as you’ve already managed to do,” he smiled at her

April responded by flinging a tortilla chip, thankfully salsa less, at him.

“What else ya got?” He challenged her.

“I’m Christian but not Catholic.” He had told her about his conversion to Catholicism and his family’s opposition to it.

“As long as you don’t have a problem with it, I don’t. Same team as far as I’m concerned. And my family will adore you if ever they are willing to speak to me again.” he answered.

“How would our children be raised?” April had learned the hard way it was never too early to get this out of the way.

“Wow! You’ve really thought this through. I’d say raise them in both traditions and let them choose their own path when the time comes. What do you think?”

“That works for me.” She answered happily.

“Is that what you and Jackson are doing with Harriet?” Abbott asked around a bite of his burrito.

“Jackson doesn’t believe. It caused a lot of problems between us. But he agreed to let me bring up Harriet to be Christian.” April told him, pushing a bite of her enchilada across her plate.

“Hmm, tough situation. Props to him for compromising.”

April didn’t respond. All she could think about were the circumstances that led to that compromise.

They finished their dinners and ordered coffees for dessert. Abbott thought they may have finally exhausted April’s list of reasons why they were doomed but he was wrong.

“I noticed you switched to water with your dinner,” April ventured.

“Yeah?” Abbott replied, wondering where she was going with that.

“So are you going back on the wagon?”

“Back on the wagon? April, I’m not an alcoholic.” Abbott replied.

“But you have another condition that alcohol exacerbates.” She responded.

“Seriously? You’re back on the PTSD thing?”

“Abbott, it’s a serious condition and you have to get treatment.” April insisted. If Abbott didn’t already know it, he soon would find out that April was a bulldog about things she deemed non-negotiable.

“I told you. I have been treating it. And yes, alcohol isn’t good for me and yes, I did start drinking again, a little. But now I’m quitting again, and I’ll stay quit of it until I’m all better. Okay?”

“No, Sam, that’s not enough. You have to promise me you’ll get professional help, not this self-medicating crap you think will get you off the hook.” April was adamant and Abbott recognized it.

“And if I don’t?” He challenged her.

“It’s a deal breaker.” She answered, deadly seriously.

“A deal breaker?”

“I can’t have you around my daughter unless you get it treated.” She stated with finality.

And Abbott understood at last why this was so important to her. _I guess it can’t hurt to see someone about it. Besides, it wasn’t like it was going to cost him an opportunity to deploy_.

“Okay.” He said simply.

“Okay.” She answered. For now anyway they had a plan. They were doing it. They were in it together. Why, she wondered, was she still so damn scared?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! They're going for it. Are you as surprised as Abbott was?  
> But I wouldn't bet their problems are all behind them. That's probably not much of a surprise either :-)
> 
> Thanks for reading (and reviewing too, if the spirit moves you.)


	13. Dawn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> April experiences first hand that Abbott's nowhere near free of his PTSD.  
> Meanwhile, she meditates a little on a change in her own behavior before departing San Diego to return to Seattle with other changes in store.

Abbott raced through the two story building. At least he was trying to race. But his feet felt like lead and his every movement seemed to be in slow motion. He needed speed but had never moved slower in his life.

He had already dispatched two guards at the entrance. While two teammates cleared the ground floor, he made for the staircase. The listening device they had used had helped them determine that the captives were being held on the second floor and undoubtedly guarded by more than one opponent.

He took the steps two at a time. At the top he found another guard emerging through a doorway, a plate of food in his hand. Abbott brought his silenced weapon to bear but again he was moving so slowly he was sure his enemy would sound the alarm and the captives would be executed. But this enemy too fell silently and Abbott knew he still had a chance.

Still moving in slow motion, he ran the length of the long hallway toward a closed door that he was confident he would find his friend behind. It seemed to take forever to get to it though. Finally he was there. He burst through it but this time, instead of finding the guard half asleep in a chair, the man was on his feet, his gun pointed at Tarpley’s head, and an evil grin on his face. “Too late,” the man had said, and a red mist emerged from the opposite side of Tarpley’s head as the bullet ended his friend’s life. Abbott screamed “Noooo!”

Abbott found himself sitting up in a strange bed, breathing hard, his heart pounding, and his torso sweating profusely. He had no idea where he was.

“You’re alright. You’re okay,” said a soft voice beside him. “It was only a dream.”

He turned and found himself face to face with April Kepner, who tentatively touched his arm. Okay, he breathed, just a dream. Just another dream.

“Is he okay? Tarpley? And the others?”

“Yes,” she answered, “you saved them. You saved them all and brought them back home. Everyone is safe.”

“Okay. Okay.” He looked at April and then it all came back to him. His return from Yemen to find her waiting for him. Their dinner and talk. Her decision to give it a shot with him.

He had walked her back to her hotel room, fully intending to say goodnight at the door. But then they had kissed. And kissed again. And before long their kissing had moved into the room and into the bed and, well, in spite of the ‘no hanky panky’ pledge, hanky panky had definitely ensued. At least this time, April had eventually let him sleep, though she might be regretting it right at this moment.

April laid back down and pulled Abbott’s head to her chest, caressing his sweaty brow. If she was tempted to take this as an opportunity to further push her demand he seek treatment for his PTSD, she resisted it. He had already acceded to her on this condition so she didn’t feel the need to beat him over the head about it. Besides, her goal was his health, not to win an argument.

His breathing quickly deepened and evened out as his exhaustion again overcame him and he slept while April lay and slowly ran her fingers through his hair. She had not intended them to sleep together this night, particularly after pleading with him for patience while she got herself sorted out. Indeed, what she had envisioned for them was a long period of dating and getting to know each other before allowing themselves to get serious, emotionally and physically. She had heard Hannah clearly; Abbott didn’t do casual. Neither did April. Or so she thought. But that plan had gone out the window as soon as they had kissed goodnight.

April had experienced plenty of emotional trauma when her relationship with Jackson had first turned physical. Then, it had mainly to do with guilt at not being able to conform to what she thought a good Christian should act like. This time, it was different. This time it was more about lingering doubts that she could be what Abbott wanted and deserved and a fear that perhaps she was using him in a way that was patently unfair to him. Part of her almost wanted to laugh out loud at the thought that April Kepner, with all her history, could ever be accused of using a man for sex. But how else could she explain her sexual aggressiveness toward him even as she insisted their emotional bonding stay low and slow?

Well, she concluded, I have needs too. And it’s not like he isn’t getting a good deal out of this. So what harm can come of it if we take care of each other’s needs that way while we see what we can work out on the relationship side of things? Faintly she heard the last little bit of the former April whispering _What kind of sex fiend did Jackson Avery turn you into, April Kepner?_

  
  


He awoke with a start, though not as a result of a nightmare this time. And this time he knew immediately where he was and with whom. He looked at her. She had rolled onto her side and faced away from him but had also slid her body close to his side to spoon with him. The fit was a good one. Amy had never been a spooner. She had liked her own space in the bed, often telling Abbott he was a furnace and she always got cooked when she snuggled against him. April seemed to appreciate his warmth generating abilities and that worked for him.

He was certainly pleased with the developments of the last twenty four hours. When he had descended the ramp at the Naval Air Station the previous morning he had been one hundred percent sure there was no chance of ever seeing April Kepner again, much less a future with her. Now, while the road ahead was anything but smooth, at least it had some semblance of a road, and Samuel Abbott was used to making things happen, even when the odds were stacked against him.

So today he would start the process of converting from active duty to reserve. He would contact Miranda Bailey about a job at Grey Sloan. And he would escort April to her flight back to Seattle, hopefully with more success than the last time he planned to do that.

Realizing that he wouldn’t be going back to sleep, he carefully and quietly disengaged himself from the still sleeping April, and slipped out of the bed to make his way to the bathroom to relieve himself. That mission accomplished, He returned to the room to find April wide awake and looking at him from the bed. He thought she looked chaotically beautiful.

“Hey.”

“Hey,” she replied.

“Sorry if I woke you.”

“S’okay,” she said around a yawn. “Are you okay?”

He knew why she was asking. “Yeah, sorry about that. I should have warned you.”

“Do you get them often? The nightmares?”

“Sometimes. When I’m really tired or just off a hairy mission, or especially in both cases.” He admitted.

“Do you want to talk about it,” she asked him.

“Can’t. Classified.” Even if it hadn’t been he had no words to describe to her how it had been to jump out of an aircraft at twenty thousand feet over hostile terrain, then stealthily make your way to your target, knowing that discovery would likely get you and all your comrades killed or captured. Or how could he tell her the moments of terror as he and his team stormed the enemy compound, racing to get to his captive friends before the enemy became aware and executed them? What would she think if he told her how he himself had killed four men face to face that night and how he had come to feel that each person he killed took a little piece of his soul with them. He doubted that any treatment he might get would be able to restore him to wholeness.

April looked at him sympathetically. “If you ever do, want to talk, about anything, I’m here. Okay?”

“Roger that,” he answered. She meant well. And that was enough for him. “What time’s your flight again?”

This time, breakfast was drama-less, as was seeing April off at Lindbergh Field. As Abbott drove out of the airport he felt excitement for this new and unexpected direction his life was taking.

As April’s plane lifted off the runway, she too felt excitement. Hers was tinged with fear however. _Am I ready for this_ , she asked herself?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know what they say... "The best laid plans..." In this case, the plans went out the window and it was Abbott and April getting laid.  
> We're moving the story back to familiar ground, folks (Finally). This was a little short chapter but don't forget, the previous one was pretty long so it all comes out in the wash.
> 
> Thanks for the reads and feel free to leave a comment or two (or ten) to let me know how we're doing.


	14. Promotion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> April gets a well deserved promotion without any "Interim" attached.  
> Unfortunately, it has some rather bad implications for a friend.  
> And there's still one person who seems unsure she should be bumped up.

The next few weeks were a blur for April. Besides the hospital being unusually busy, as apparently the citizens of Seattle suddenly forgot how to do anything safely; drive; bicycle; use tools; work; worship; yes, worship even; a pastor got a little overzealous during his Sunday sermon and hit his podium so hard he fractured both it and his hand, dealing himself painful injuries.

Besides work, of course, there were a few new developments in April's personal life as well. Abbott had arrived just the day before, having converted his military commitment from Active to Naval Reserve. For Abbott, this meant that for a little less than two years, he would be required to serve a weekend a month, or equivalent, and two weeks a year. He would also be deployable should the Navy come calling but Admiral Szymanski had been pretty clear that he would actively discourage that possibility. Short of an enemy invading American territory, it didn't seem likely that Samuel Abbott would see action again.

Abbott had found that this was an important reassurance for April. She had frankly told him that she didn't think she would be capable of waiting at home while he went back into harms way. She had driven home the point by flatly stating that she had no interest in becoming another Annie Murphy. He had been taken aback by that but then considered her history with Jackson and how that sort of separation had driven them apart. While different in his mind, he understood the connection in hers.

As April had predicted, Bailey had been happy to take Abbott's call, though it hadn't been the slam dunk she had expected. For one thing, April had earlier convinced Bailey that the SEAL was suffering from PTSD, even though he had been successful in keeping Doctor Sen from diagnosing it. Now she sought and received assurances that Abbott was seeking professional treatment for it, at Bauer Army Medical Center, enabling her to offer him the open trauma position, on the condition that he complete the treatment regimen successfully. Abbott had agreed to this, after complaining to Hannah that everyone in Seattle seemed to be obsessed with PTSD. Hannah had promptly whacked him on the side of his head, telling him that those Seattle people were _obsessed_ with seeing him healthy, particularly a certain petite redheaded trauma surgeon, and that he'd better start appreciating it. He had been forced to capitulate, as was the usual case in his dealings with Hannah Rogers.

In keeping with the agreement he had made with April to take things slowly, Abbott had checked into a hotel near the hospital upon his arrival yesterday, and was now spending the day looking for a place to live. Of course, being checked into a hotel, and sleeping there are distinctly different things. He discovered this when April had him over for a late dinner to welcome him back to Seattle.

After what he acknowledged was a pretty great dinner, adding cooking to the list of April's known talents, they had moved the conversation to the couch, where April reiterated her desire to take it slow, see how dating went, and avoid getting into any kind of intense relationship stuff too soon. Then she had basically attacked him, leaving him wondering what her definition of  _intense_ was. But he was helpless to resist her, even if he had wanted to. If this was taking it slow, he just hoped he would survive when things got up to speed. 

  
  


For her part, April drove to the hospital the next morning chiding herself for again lacking control over her libido. But when she happened to see her reflection in the rear-view mirror, she noted the smile spread across her face. That lasted a full minute after she entered the ER.

“Bailey was asking for you.” DeLuca told her as soon as she passed by the desk.

“Did she say why?” April asked.

“Nope, just said you should go to her office as soon as you get in.” he answered.

“Okay, thanks.”

Hmmm, she wondered. What was this about? April changed at her locker and made her way to Bailey's office. She saw Bailey was inside, doing the incessant paperwork that was part of her job. April knocked and Bailey beckoned her to enter.

“You wanted to see me, Chief?”

“Close the door and sit down Kepner.”

April did as she was told and waited for Bailey to get to the subject at hand.

“Kepner, Owen Hunt came to see me yesterday. With everything that is going on with his sister he feels he is no longer able to run Trauma effectively.”

“Owen is stepping down from running Trauma? But then who will run it?”

“Kepner, I didn't ask you in here to gossip about Hunt. I want you to run it.”

April's jaw dropped. “Me? You want me to take over Trauma?”

“Why not? You were Chief Resident. You were a good Interim Chief of General Surgery. By all accounts you're the only thing between the ER and total chaos. Now do you want the job or not?” Bailey had no patience with surgeons who lacked confidence in their own abilities.

“Yes. Absolutely. Thank you, Chief.” This day was getting better and better.

“Alright, then look for a contract in your box by the end of the day.”

April nodded and made to get up. Bailey raised a hand to stop her.

“One more thing.”

April sat back down.

“Samuel Abbott.”

April looked at her questioningly.

“Is that a thing? You and him?”

April was taken by surprise by this. Why would Bailey ask about this?

Bailey could see the wheels turning in April's head. “Kepner, I don't want to know the details of your personal life. But you should know that if you two are a thing, he can't be a trauma surgeon here. I can't have you supervising someone you're involved with personally.”

“Oh.” April now understood what Bailey was driving at. “Oh, crap.” Suddenly the day wasn't so great after all. “But he just moved here. You can't take his job away now.”

“No, we'll still hire him. We'll just have to find another place for him that isn't Trauma. But that's my problem. Now, don't you have somewhere to be, Chief?”

April got up and left Bailey's office, wishing it was only Bailey's problem and knowing with certainty that it wasn't.

 

“So, how did apartment hunting go today?” April asked.

This evening, April had specified a neutral site, the Ghost Note Coffee shop. Abbott had met her there. He probably had no idea how intentionally she had chosen this location and circumstance. Far enough from her apartment or his hotel that sex was in doubt, not that she thought he would be interested after she told him her news and how it would impact his life. Plus, by coming separately, she had a means of escape if things  _really_ went south.

“Slim pickings in my price range.” he answered.

“Your price range? Your great great grandfather founded Abbott Labs.” The fact still flabbergasted April.

“Hello? They cut me off years ago, remember? And the Navy pays me shit. So yeah, my price range is from overpass to the bus station at this point.” Abbott pleaded.

“But now you're a surgeon.” April chose not to enlighten Sam on her own struggles to overcome her frugality in her marriage to Jackson.

“Talk to me after I get that first paycheck.” he answered.

“Maybe you shouldn't send all your military pay to Annie Murphy.”

Abbott looked at her. “She told you that, huh? Well, it doesn't matter because she never has cashed a single one.”

“Yes, she told me that too. It's sweet but she's much too proud to accept it, you know.”

“Stubborn is a better word for it.” he answered testily, apparently not happy with Annie or April at the moment.

“Stubborn is a word that could be used to describe a few people I know.” April answered, her intent clear. “But, let's change the subject. I got some pretty good news today.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, I just got promoted to Chief of Trauma.” April revealed.

“Really? Wow! Congratulations. No wonder you're feeling rich. I think the coffee is on you tonight.”

“Yeah, its pretty great, right? Bailey asked me today.”

“Well, I'm sure it is well deserved. Really, that's great.” Abbott answered. He would have thought April would be happier about it though. She seemed kind of reserved about it. Very unlike her. “Shouldn't we be hitting the bar to celebrate?”

That got him a sharp look from April.

“So you can celebrate, I mean. I could knock down a Roy Rogers or two and be your designated driver.” _Which would leave us at your place at the end of the night_ , he said to himself.

“No, one of us has to work early in the morning. The other has to go find himself a nice overpass to live under, remember?”

Abbott shrugged. At least he had tried.

April shifted uneasily in her seat. “Uh, there is a little downside to the promotion.”

“Oh? You mean the paperwork, huh?”

“No, I actually enjoy the administrative stuff.” she answered, to which Abbott looked at her like she was a little insane. She thumped him on the arm for it.

“What then? Paycut? Bedpan duty? No more surgery?”

“Please stop guessing.” April took a deep breath. “It actually has to do with you.”

“Me?” he asked quizzically.

“Yes. There's a policy at Grey Sloan that you can't have a romantic relationship with your supervisor.”

Abbott looked confused. It took him a moment to catch on.

“Wait, what? So if you're head of trauma, I can't be a trauma surgeon.” he asked carefully.

“ **When** , I'm head of trauma, I can't have you on my service.” she clarified.

“And is this up for any discussion?”

“Afraid not.” She answered. “But Bailey said she'll find you a spot on another service.”

Abbott was clearly not happy about this development. “Great. So nice of the two of you to look out for me.” he grumbled.

Yeah, no sex tonight, April resignedly acknowledged.

  
  


Bailey addressed the GSMH Board meeting. “On to personnel matters. Owen Hunt has resigned as Chief of Trauma but will remain on the trauma service. He did this for personal reasons.”

This came as no surprise to the members sitting around the table. Hunt had been spending a lot of time with his sister, who was trying to recover from the physical and emotional wounds of being held captive for several years in the Middle East.

Arizona asked “So who will take over as trauma chief?”

“April Kepner has been offered the position and accepted. Effective immediately.” Bailey answered.

“Is she really the right person for that role?” asked Jackson Avery.

“Beyond a doubt. She has demonstrated outstanding administrative skills and I believe she is the perfect candidate for the job.” Bailey answered.

All but Jackson nodded their heads in agreement. But he wasn't to be so easily deterred.

“What I'm saying is that perhaps the Board would like to consider external candidates rather than rush into this decision.”

“For heavens sake, Jackson, when did we start requiring Board approval for every personnel decision?” demanded Arizona testily.

“I'm just saying, this is a very important department leadership position and maybe we should take a moment before leaping into a commitment that may not be in our best interests.”

Richard looked at Jackson intently. “Is there some reason to believe that promoting Kepner is not in the hospital's best interests, Jackson?”

“Well, no, nothing specific. But you remember how much trouble we had when she was Interim Chief of General Surgery?”

Bailey shot Jackson a withering look. “She did an exceptional job in that role under very difficult circumstances. I might remind you, Doctor Avery, that you were one of the main instigators of those difficult circumstances.”

Support came for April from an unexpected source. “While I didn't appreciate it at the time, I think she did a wonderful job filling in for me and I fully support her promotion to Trauma Chief.” Meredith stated. She, too, was looking intently at Jackson. She couldn't help but feel that his objections were more personal than professional and she was disappointed in him for that.

Staring hard at Jackson, Bailey asked “If there are no further objections then we'll move on to other matters.”

And that ended Jackson's campaign. But he would soon be given another opportunity to interfere in his ex-wife's life.

“As some of you may have heard, Samuel Abbott has accepted our open surgical position.”

This was actually news to everyone in the room. Besides Bailey, only Hunt and April knew that Abbott was returning to the hospital. Jackson sat up with a start and looked around the room. But this time he kept his mouth shut.

“I had hired him back into the open trauma position, but now with April Kepner becoming Chief of Trauma, we'll have to find a place for him on another service.”

“Why is that, Bailey?” Richard asked.

“Because we have a policy against staff supervising people they have a romantic relationship with.” Bailey answered evenly.

All besides Jackson took a moment to digest the implications of her statement. They had thought the rumors about Abbott and April had been pretty much proven false during his last stint at Grey Sloan.

Jackson, though, squirmed in his seat. Finally, his suspicions were confirmed. He knew he shouldn't be upset about it. After all, he was in a relationship with Maggie Pierce and it had been his decision to pursue her over April. So why the hell was he suddenly sweating and gripping the arms of his chair so tightly? Damn it!

Bailey continued, “So I'll be convening a meeting of the Chiefs of Services to figure out where to put him. I just need the Board to approve moving the slot from Trauma to another service.”

Around the table there was another round of nods and one by one they said “Agreed” or “Approved” until it came to the last Board member, Jackson Avery. Silence descended and Jackson could feel all eyes on him.

Damn it, he thought, if I hadn't made such a stink about April's promotion I might have been able to block this, but now ...”

“Approved.” He had decided not to risk another defeat. Besides, he began to think this might work out in his favor anyway.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Much longer than the last (see, it all comes out in the wash), I hope this chapter triggered some flashbacks to the last time April got a promotion.  
> But different circumstances bring different allies, but one guy who can't seem to recognize her accomplishments remains a holdout.  
> He is overruled but that last line seems a little foreboding. Will the next chapter be titled "The Avery Strikes Back"?  
> And meanwhile Abbott is coming to Seattle to find himself right in the middle of a crossfire. 
> 
> Thanks for the read and (substitute any of my previous pathetic begging for comments)


	15. Subversion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Round 2 goes to Jackson and April comes to the realization that he's not likely to make life too easy for Abbott or herself.  
> But Maggie Pierce is also getting some hints that all is not well with the Plastics Chief.

“It gives me great pleasure to introduce our new head of Trauma and Acute Services, April Kepner.” announced Jackson to the meeting of Grey Sloan Memorial department heads.

Arizona and Meredith looked at each other. Arizona spoke up. “Really, Jackson? How much pleasure?” she asked. She and Meredith had been at the Board meeting when Jackson had seemingly tried to sidetrack April's appointment to the position.

Jackson looked at the head of Pediatrics, with what appeared to be a bit of a forced smile on his face. “Great pleasure,” he repeated for her. Arizona and Meredith both smiled knowingly. Jackson Avery was a bullshit artist, that was for sure.

April, standing as asked to, smiled uncomfortably herself. What was this about?

Maggie Pierce, sitting uncomfortably nearby wondered the same.

Jackson began to applaud and the rest of the room followed suit.

April relaxed and smiled, humbly bowing a little to her colleagues. “Thank you, everyone. Owen leaves big shoes to fill, both figuratively and literally. Have you seen the size of his feet? They are really huge.”

There was a smattering of laughter but her little attempt at humor fell a bit flat in spite of all her rehearsing it.

“But I am excited to be taking over the outstanding department he has built here at Grey Sloan.”

“You built it together.” Arizona, always her biggest fan on the staff, chimed in.

“Thank you, Arizona, I am proud of my contributions over the years and looking forward to leading Trauma into an even brighter future.” April sat down and there was another round of applause.

“Thank you, April. I'm sure the department is in good hands with you at the helm.” Jackson said, shuffling the papers on the table in front of him.

“Why isn't Bailey here running this meeting?” Meredith Grey asked him.

“Um, she had a surgery so she asked me to run it for her.”

“Why not just schedule the meeting when she was available?” asked Arizona.

“Because, this couldn't wait. We have an important decision to make today and delays will just cause trouble. Now, do you have a problem with me running this meeting?” Jackson was glaring at the two of them now. But he neglected to add that he had asked for the meeting to be scheduled at this time, knowing full well that Bailey would be operating, and volunteering himself to run it.

April was baffled. What the H-E-double hockey sticks was going on here? Some kind of pissing match?

Meredith answered him. “No, no problem. Proceed. But keep this professional please, Doctor Avery.”

April's mouth dropped open. What has gotten into those two? And why are they giving Jackson a hard time about running a simple little meeting? Does this happen at every one of these things?

Maggie was also staring at her sister. What had she meant by that?

“Okay, the first order of business is the important matter I just referred to a moment ago. Doctor Samuel Abbott is returning to Grey Sloan to take a permanent position on our staff.”

April's head snapped around to look at Jackson. Nobody had told her Abbott would be on the agenda today.

“Doctor Abbott was originally offered the open Trauma position vacated recently by Doctor Minnick. However, in light of April's promotion, he is no longer a viable candidate to serve in Trauma.”

“Why?” asked Doctor Knox, the head of Anesthesiology.

“Because he and Doctor Kepner are in a personal romantic relationship that makes it impossible for him to serve in a department she supervises.” Jackson answered, matter-of-factually. Thank God, or somebody, for that damn policy.

That announcement generated a little buzz around the room. Hospitals are fertile ground for relationship drama. April had cringed when he said it and now was looking at Arizona, who suddenly realized she had missed the chance to give her friend the heads up.  _Sorry,_ she mouthed.

Maggie was now shifting her gaze back and forth between Jackson, April and Meredith. Arizona wasn't the only one who had neglected to warn someone.

Jackson was happy to let the buzz go on until it died a natural death. Then, he called everyone to attention again. “Okay, people, let's come back to order. The problem we have now is that Doctor Abbott will be coming to join us in a week and we have nowhere to put him.”

“Well it seems like he chose to have a relationship instead of a job. Can't we just find another trauma surgeon,” asked Connie Ryan, head of obstetrics and gynecology.

April shot her a horrified look. Oh God, this was a disaster.

“According to Legal, we would be on shaky ground as he was offered the position without being informed of the policy and therefore could take us to court.” Jackson replied.

“You checked with Legal?” exclaimed Meredith.

“I just wanted to make sure we had all of our ducks in a row.” explained Jackson.

Now April was looking hard at Jackson and it slowly dawned on her why Arizona and Meredith were acting as they were. Jackson was trying to manipulate the situation to some end. She looked at Maggie, who looked back at her with a strained expression on her face. The last thing Maggie wanted to do was cause more trouble for April or be party to Jackson doing it. And Pierce couldn't understand why Jackson would even try to.

“So we have a surgeon joining the staff and need a service to assign him to. Any suggestions?” Jackson inquired. He knew where he was taking this but it would look better if he let the room think they had a say.

“Could always use another skilled General surgeon.” volunteered Meredith.

“Sure, but you're already fully staffed. Who would you send to Trauma?” Jackson had been ready for that one. No way Webber would willingly go to Trauma and that just left Bailey. Ha!

Amelia shook her head. “Neuro is overstaffed as it is and he doesn't have the cert for it.”

“Nothing in Peds either” Arizona admitted.

One by one, each department head responded that they had similar problems. Fully staffed, lack of budget, difficult certifications required, it looked pretty bad.

Only Maggie Pierce offered a slim ray of hope. “I could ask Nathan to move to trauma. He and April are close so he might like working for her and with Hunt.”

Jackson appeared to consider this option. “What about the certification?”

“I've seen his work. He's a brilliant surgeon. And Trauma has given him a lot of exposure to open chests. I think he could certify pretty easily.” Pierce answered, looking at April the whole time. April smiled back at her gratefully, remembering their friendship fondly and wondering if it might be rekindled.

Then Jackson snapped his fingers with feigned disappointment.

“What?” asked April.

“It's the same damn problem again.”

“What problem?”

“Nathan can't go to Trauma. Trauma falls under the General Surgery umbrella.” Jackson answered.

April shook her head and threw up her hands. “So?”

“So Nathan can't go to General Surgery because he's in an ongoing relationship with the person who leads it.” Jackson answered. Take that Meredith.

Everyone looked in shock at Meredith. She stared at Jackson a moment. “Yes, it's true. Nathan and I have a personal romantic relationship which we disclosed to the Board a week ago.”

“But I thought that ended when Megan came back.” asked Amelia.

“It did. But then it started again a little while later.”

“And you didn't tell us?” Maggie cried.

Meredith shook her head. Jackson had played her to perfection.

  
  


“So I would think that not having a position for him would make us proof against any litigation.” Doctor Ryan ventured.

“No, the exposure still remains. The onus is on the hospital to provide a position as promised.”

“Then what do we do?” asked Arizona.

“I turn down the promotion.” answered April. “Right, Jackson?” Her anger was clearly written across her features.

Jackson suppressed a desire to smile. He had maneuvered April exactly where he wanted her; choosing between her career and Abbott.

It was Meredith who rallied again to spoil his plan. “No, that still wouldn't solve the problem. Trauma would still need a new Chief, but all the slots would be taken.”

Jackson tried to think of a way to refute Meredith's argument. How had he missed that?

Grey continued, “But we've heard from every department except yours, Jackson. Didn't you just appeal to the board for another surgical spot to support the growth in Plastics?”

Jackson frowned. “Yes, but Abbott isn't plastics certified.”

“But he could be. By all accounts he is an excellent surgeon. He could join your service and probably certify in ENT pretty quickly too. Seems like the perfect fit.”

Dammit Meredith! Jackson's mind cycled through the possible paths he could follow from here and quickly settled on the only viable path available to him. He realized it wasn't as good as his original plan, but not nearly as bad an outcome as it could be.

“Which is why I was going to suggest that Abbott join my service. It solves his problem and gives me the additional body I need. A win-win, as Meredith has kindly pointed out. If there are no objections, I'll inform Bailey of the plan for her approval.”

There were no objections, of course, so Jackson consulted the agenda and moved the meeting to the next item on the agenda.

“Moving on, let's talk about the new method of accounting for departmental expenses and what we all need to do.”

Solving problems and being the hero was a pretty solid outcome for Jackson.

  
  


When the meeting ended an hour later, April was still seething. She had recognized Jackson's ploy to put her on the spot and didn't appreciate it in the least. Nor did she appreciate Jackson's obvious attempt to take ownership and credit for Meredith's get-April-off-the-hook suggestion.

As Meredith brushed by her, April quietly expressed her thanks. “Meredith, thank you so much, for everything. I don't know what Jackson's game is.”

“I don't either but April, before you thank me, you might want to think about the fact that your boyfriend is going to be working for him starting next week. Not really sure we did you any favors here.” Meredith put her hand on Aprils arm in a brief display of solidarity, then continued on her way toward the door.

April was surprised when Maggie Pierce also approached her. “April, I'm so sorry about all that mess.”

April nodded, unsure of the cardio chief's sincerity. “Thank you, Maggie.” she responded evenly. April noted that Pierce left the room immediately rather than wait for Jackson, who had been cornered by Knox about the expense reporting process.

April shuffled papers in her place until the room cleared out and she was alone with Jackson.

She confronted him. “So, you want to tell me what that was all about?”

Jackson feigned ignorance. “What?”

“The whole _put April on the spot_ thing you pulled.”

Jackson looked at her. He wondered if she could still detect him lying or not. “April, you put the hospital into a difficult position by bringing your boyfriend up here. We're not going to bend the rules for your convenience. As a department head, you need to start living in the real world. Besides, I just saved your ass by providing an out. I'd think you'd be grateful, instead of throwing out these crazy accusations.”

“I am grateful..., to Meredith, for finding a solution to this problem that I had nothing to do with creating.” Okay, she admitted to herself, maybe _nothing_ was not exactly the right word.

“If you think anyone was fooled by your little performance in here today, you are sadly mistaken.” she finished. April spun on her heels and made for the door. But just before she got there she stopped for one parting shot.

“Oh, and as a fellow department head, I'd appreciate it if you'd refrain from referring to, talking about, or even looking at my ass, ever again.” With that, she turned, flung open the door, and stormed off through it.

And Jackson found himself already out of compliance with her request.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jackson's maneuvering gets him what he wants but leads some people to question his actions and his motivations.
> 
> I, like pretty much every Japril shipper, am a Jackson fan (in spite of much of s13), so please bear with this stretch of Jackson ugliness. I plan to give him an opportunity to redeem himself later on. (but for now, I'm finding scheming Jackson kind of fun to write ;-)


	16. Stress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam Abbott becomes the newest addition to the former Plastics Posse, and the goto liposuction man at GSMH.  
> His new boss also has some pretty aggressive goals for the former trauma surgeon. Is he perhaps trying to keep him too busy to spend time with April  
> April objects to a name Abbott wants to use and, speaking of names, Harriet's vocabulary is rapidly expanding but not always to Jackson's hopes.  
> Finally, Maggie Pierce confronts Jackson about Abbott and begins to wonder why he's spending so much effort to sabotage Sampril.

When April told Abbott that they had found a position for him at the hospital he was pleased. When she told him it was in Plastics and ENT, working for Jackson, he told her she must be out of her mind.

“Plastics? Really? Working for your ex-husband? You're out of your mind.”

“No matter how many times you repeat the question, the answers still the same.” April answered.

She was trying to be sensitive to his feelings on the matter but at the same time, it was what it was. It's not like he hadn't endured far worse working conditions. But at the moment, he wasn't looking at it that way.

“But _Plastics_?”

“Yes, Plastics. You know it's not just boob jobs and liposuction. There's burn care, skin grafts, surgical reconstruction. And there's all sorts of interesting things in Ear Nose and Throat. In Montana...”

'Yeah, yeah, I know, you invented a procedure to save a girl's life. You and Jackson. You've told me the whole story.”

Not the  _whole_ story, thought April. Not the part about the night after the surgery and the hotel room in Montana.

“Please try to look at the bright side. Please. For me at least.”

When she looked up at him like that, she was difficult to refuse. But  _ Plastics??? _

He shifted focus to the other thing about her news that disturbed him.

“Explain to me how working for Jackson is in any way a good thing.”

“You're working for the hospital, not Jackson Avery.” Never mind that the Avery Foundation is the majority owner of the hospital. “He's just supervising the department. And he is a brilliant surgeon. You may actually learn something working with him.”

Abbott scoffed a little at that. Men and their petty little jealousies, she thought. The men had actually become friends of a sort during Abbott's previous stay but that was all forgotten now. And why? Because one was 'moving in' on the other's ex. Idiotic!

“Look, it is what it is. You've faced worse. So please, just suck it up, and make the best of it.” April never thought she would be the one telling Abbott this but at some point you gotta just call it like it is.

That seemed to calm Sam down some. At least it quieted his grumbling for awhile. Then a short while later April made the mistake of asking how the day's apartment hunting had gone.

It's going to be a long evening, April whispered to herself.

  
  


The weekend saw some improvement in Abbott's outlook. For one thing, he found an decent apartment that he thought he could afford. It was only a few miles away from April's and even closer to the hospital so resolving that dilemma improved his disposition immensely. That April came over and joined him on the first night to “break it in” with lovemaking in every room left Sam happy as can be, regretting only that he hadn't sprung for a two bedroom, and furnished, his severe rug burns reminded him.

The next morning he accompanied April to her church services. They had decided to tradeoff: her church this week, Catholic Mass the next. April was glad to have company though she felt a little guilty glancing at him sitting beside her and the memories of the previous night coming unbidden into her mind. Concentrating on the sermon was particularly challenging.

Walking out of church, Sam was reflective.

“What are you thinking?” she asked, expecting some heavy and profound observation about spirituality and man's place in the universe.

“Wondering where we can find a really good breakfast.” he answered quite seriously.

It seemed some universal truths transcended religion, at least with the men she was familiar with.

  
  


Monday morning found Abbott waking alone in his own bed, still the only piece of furniture he owned. Today was his first day on the new job and she wanted him to be fully rested and ready to go. Abbott had briefly protested that he could probably use stress relief more than rest but April hadn't given in this time. She, of course, had flashed back on Mark Sloan's “sexual encouragement” to her to ease then best friend Jackson's pre-board exam stress.

While Sloan's encouragement hadn't directly led to April giving her virginity to Jackson the night before the exam, it nevertheless had become associated in her mind. Abbott would have to find another tact to take if he wanted to sell her on sex in the future.

So this morning, Abbott found himself alone, well rested but stressed a bit at the prospect of reporting to Jackson Avery's Plastics service this morning. April had finally relented and revealed the details of the Department head meeting, conceding that Jackson was guilty of manipulating the situation but to an end neither could guess at.

“I think he's just trying to make me uncomfortable.” April had said. “I doubt he would try anything with you. He may not be too happy about it but you do fit a need he has been expressing for awhile now. Once he's reminded of what an amazing surgeon you are, he'll forget all about us and causing us any problems.”

Of course, buying into April's inexhaustible optimism was much easier during dinner on Sunday night than it was without her on Monday morning. But Sam did his best to embrace this new challenge and keep his eye on the prize, a relationship with April that he was sure would at last give him the life he'd always dreamed of. It was the life he thought he had once already; a life that had been tragically snatched away: now miraculously a possibility again.

It hadn't taken Samuel Abbott long to conclude that April Kepner was the real deal. Her smarts, beauty, kindness and energy he had been aware of from the earliest days of their acquaintance in Jordan. What he had come to appreciate, and it had sealed the deal for him, was April's passion for life and the feelings she had for every aspect of it, matched his own. He hadn't expected to find that again after Amy. But somehow he had. April had come into his life in the most unexpected, unlooked for way, and he would do anything to keep her there, for as long as she wanted to be.

Of course, his warm feelings for her hadn't prevented their first fight, mild though it was. He had been playing with Harriet on the living room rug while April got ready to leave.

She appeared in the doorway. “What did you call her?”

“Um, what?” he had asked.

“What did you just call her?” April repeated.

“Oh, _Harri_ ” he answered, walking Harriet's teddy toward her and evoking a fit of laughter from her.

“Don't call her that. That's not her name.”

“And _Nugget_ is?” he responded.

“She is a nugget, I don't call her Nugget. There's a difference. Besides, I'm her mother, I can call her any da.., any _thing_ I want to. And I don't want you to call her _Harri_.”

“Geez, April, really?”

“Yes, really. For one thing, that's a boys name. For another, it sounds kind of gross, like _hairy_.”

“Doesn't seem to bother Prince Harry.” he countered, sure this was the most bizarre disagreement he'd ever had with anyone, and that was saying a lot. Then he realized that April was really getting worked up about this.

“Do not call her Harri again, understand?” She pronounced each word clearly and distinctly and he definitely understood she was serious, though he couldn't fathom the importance to her.

“Okay. I got it. No more _Harri_.” he relented.

Her victory was short-lived however. As she turned to go back to her room she heard him say, “Mommy's got her panties in a bit of a wad, doesn't she _Har_?”

An hour later he resolved to resist the urge to ever again bait April's anger in any future dealings with her.

Gotta love that passion.

  
  


He entered the hospital through the front entrance, rather than the ER. His first stops to complete the necessary paperwork completed, he made his way to the Attending's locker room to change and then get to work.

He found Jackson Avery in the lab, doing the workups for the day ahead.

“Well, well, well, look who's back to grace our presence.” his new boss told him as he walked through the door.

Abbott came around the desk to shake hands with Jackson. “Reporting for duty.” he answered. “How are you, Jackson?”

There hands remained locked as Jackson replied, “Good, I'm good. Glad to have you aboard.”

“The Plastics Posse, right?” Abbott smiled.

“Yeah, not using that one anymore. Couldn't figure out how to work the Ears Nose and Throat into it.”

“Yeah, that would present a challenge.” agreed Abbot, a little sorry to hear it. Although he had made fun of the ridiculous name, he had also given Jackson credit for using it to keep the memory of his deceased mentor alive.

Finally, Jackson disengaged from the handshake. “Well, we have plenty of work to do to get you up to speed so what's say we get started, eh?”

They spent the next two hours going over charts and Jackson's expectations of Abbott. The chief expectation was that the now former trauma surgeon get Plastics certified as soon as possible.

“What sort of timeframe do you have in mind?” asked Sam.

“I'd like to see you sit for the exam in May.”

“May? That's less than two months from now.”

“I'm told you're a brilliant surgeon. Shouldn't be problem, should it?”

Abbott caught the obvious sarcasm in Jackson's tone. It was impossible to miss. But Abbott was a man who didn't back down from challenges. “No, no problem.”

“Good.” said Jackson, eyeing him carefully. “Meanwhile, I'll get you as many procedures as possible, and you'll scrub in on everything I do to, including the ENT stuff. We'll look at having you sit that exam too, hopefully before the end of summer.”

Abbott fought to keep his face neutral. So that's your game, huh, Jackson, he thought. You're going to bury me in work and set unrealistic goals in hope that I quit? Well, you're right in my wheelhouse there, buddy. If I can survive BUD/S, I can sure as hell survive anything you got. “Sure.” was all he said.

“Hope it won't ruin your social life.” concluded Jackson with a smile.

_Oh, shit_ , thought Abbott.

  
  


“But _can_ you do it?” April asked him as she bounced Harriet on her hip. “Mamamama” gurgled the fifteen month old, grabbing at April's red hair.

“If I go without sleep and food.” he answered grumpily.

She laughed. “I hadn't pegged you for a drama queen.”

“Bite me.” he answered.

“Tempting, but I have to get Harriet home and you, I believe, have some studying to do.”

She leaned up on her tip toes to give him a quick kiss.

“You realize that he's trying to keep us from having any time together, right?” he pointed out.

“Well, the jokes on him. I have too much work in here,” she indicated her satchel, “to spend any time with you anyway.”

That didn't help his mood even a little bit.

April saw his sad expression and added, “But, if I get all my work done by Friday, I can spend the weekend helping you study.”

“Oh joy, just what I wanted to spend the weekend with you doing.”

“And relieving some of that stress that I see building up.” she added, smiling suggestively.

Finally, something to look forward to.

April glanced at her watch. “Agh, gotta go.” She again popped up to give him a quick kiss and then was on her way.

“Say bye bye” he heard her prompt Harriet.

“Bye bye bye” he heard Harriet respond.

“Bye Bye, Harri” he answered with a wave and a smile.

April shot him a look over her shoulder but couldn't afford the time to say anything.

“Call me a drama queen.” he muttered to her departing figure.

  
  


“What time are you coming by?” Jackson asked Maggie as they surveyed the OR board.

“I have a Coronary Artery Bypass Graft at three. So, unless there are complications, I should be out of here by 5:30 at the latest. What about you?”

Jackson chuckled and referred to the board. “I am done at four, thanks to my lipo specialist.”

Pierce looked at the bottom of the board. Abbott was penciled in back to back to back with liposuction procedures. He would be lucky to get out of the hospital before ten tonight.

“Jackson, how many lipos is he doing a day?”

“Well, those three will make a total of six today. Yesterday he also did six. But Tuesday he only did two, so his average really isn't that good.”

In response to Maggie's incredulous look, he took ahold of her shoulders. “Maggie, he needs to do as many procedures as possible to be ready to certify. Besides, lipos are a huge money maker for the hospital.”

“Yes, and a procedure you always hated.” Maggie pointed out.

“And no longer have to do.”

“So basically, you're just giving Abbott all the work you don't want.”

“We all had to pay our dues.”

“As interns and residents, which he already did.” Pierce was struggling to understand why Jackson was being such an ass.

Jackson began to be a little miffed at his girlfriend.”Why are you sticking up for him?”

“I just wonder why you're being such a jerk? What has Abbott ever done to you?”

Now Jackson shifted from miffed to downright angry. “Look, I don't tell you how to run your department, you don't tell me how to run mine. Look, just forget it. I think I'll go grab beers with Ben tonight.”

“Fine! You do that. Maybe he can talk some sense into you.” Maggie turned and stormed off, leaving Jackson staring angrily after her.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will Jackson's strategy work and cause trouble for Sampril?  
> Or will it backfire and drive a wedge into his own relationships at GSMH?  
> And why so damn much demand for liposuction in fit and healthy Seattle anyway?!?
> 
> Two of these three questions will be answered in future chapters.  
> Thanks for the read and, of course, any comments you may so generously provide.


	17. Examination

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abbott meets the esteemed Catherine Avery at GSMH shortly before traveling to Portland to take his Plastics Certification Exam.  
> But Sam's Board Exam Eve is almost as eventful as April's first one, but in entirely different ways.

Between Abbott's indentured servitude to Jackson and April diving headfirst into revamping her Trauma department, they didn't have a lot of time together for a couple of months. But April did play study buddy to Abbott when their schedules allowed. And Mark Sloan would have been proud of how April had learned to _extend_ that relationship, and also be the _other kind of buddy_ , that he'd once encouraged her to be.

It was during this period that April learned another of Abbott's superpowers; his incredible ability to concentrate and apply himself regardless of the distractions around him. Occasionally Abbott would watch Harriet while April ran an errand or returned late from the hospital. She would be amazed to find him reading a case study while Harriet climbed on him, all the while maintaining a conversation between them. Granted the conversation generally wasn't deep or broad, but Abbott's ability to retain details of the case, even after an endless discussion of 'what's this', amazed her to no end.

Abbott's time with Harriet bore other fruit as well. One night, Jackson arrived to pick her up. As he scooped her up in his arms she touched his beard and happily uttered “Sam”. April's eyes widened and Jackson was none to pleased. “Dada” had been her first word, several months earlier, which had made Jackson proud and happy. To have Harriet now address him as Sam was a dagger to his ego and a reminder that his choices had consequences.

April had tried to gloss it over by reminding him that Harriet's brother's name was Sam and it was good that she know that name, but that was a weak cover at best.

The next evening, Abbott joined April in her office for a hasty dinner of pizza and a shared cannoli from Italian Family Pizza, one of Aprils top three pizza places in Seattle. Takeout in her office wasn't nearly as fun as eating it with a pitcher of beer at IFP, but it was a treat nonetheless.

They were halfway through the big pizza pie, and Abbott talking about the especially foul mood Jackson had been in that day, when Catherine Avery appeared in April's open office doorway.

April rose in surprise. “Catherine. I didn't know you were in town.” She had only spoken to Jackson's mother once since the explosion. Catherine had sought her out when she had learned, belatedly that April had moved from Jackson's home, and Jackson had taken up with Maggie Pierce.

Catherine had come to April to reassure her that no matter the state of April's relationship with her son, she would always consider April family, and that she still had big plans for her as well. Unbeknownst to April, Catherine had first cornered her son, after hearing the story from Richard, and given him a dressing down revolving around his apparent inability to recognize a good thing when it was right in front of him.

“I understand congratulations are in order.” Catherine replied, eyeing Abbott, who was hurriedly trying to wash down a huge bite of pizza with his glass of water.

April came and hugged her ex mother-in-law. “Thank you. I appreciate your kind words. I'm sure they factored into Bailey's decision to offer me the position.”

“Nonsense, April, you've earned that entirely on your own. I'm just glad that Bailey has learned to appreciate you as much as I do.”

There was a moment of pregnant silence before April realized Catherine was waiting to be introduced to Abbott. “I'm so sorry. I thought you must have met when Sam was here the first time. Sam Abbott, this is Doctor Catherine Avery, world famous urologist and Jackson's mother. Catherine this is Sam, our new surgeon on Jackson's service.”

“Pleased to meet you.” Abbott offered his hand, which Catherine shook.

“And I you. I do remember your earlier time here although we were never introduced.” I also remember you putting my son in the ER, she thought. Now you're working on his service and eating pizza in April's office. I wonder what Jackson thinks of all this?

“How long will you be in town?” April asked her. “I'd love to continue that conversation we began in Chicago, especially since I now have some freedom to implement some of the ideas we discussed right here at Grey Sloan.”

“That sounds lovely, April. I'll be here at least through the end of the month so lets plan to meet for lunch.”

“Wonderful.” April smiled. She'd come to consider Catherine a mentor of sorts and looked forward to spending time with her, in spite of the state of affairs with her son.

Catherine smiled and then exited April's office. Oh, Jackson, I hope you didn't make a big mistake, because if you did, it's probably too late to do anything about it.

  
  


“Are you nervous?” April asked him.

“Why would I be?” he answered. And by all outward appearances, he truly didn't know that he should be.

It's not fair, thought April, remembering her near breakdown the first time she took her boards. At the time she had blamed Jackson for some of that but she had always known she had picked a particularly unsuitable time to lose her virginity to her best friend.

But Abbott seemed impervious to distractions of any sort. And, she admitted, he had worked his ass off to prepare for this Board examination. Jackson hadn't been a great deal of help, unless, of course, they only asked questions about liposuction protocol at the Boards. But Abbott had found a secret font of Plastics knowledge at Grey Sloan. Ben Warren had reminded Sam that he had spent a lot of time on Jackson's service and Abbott had gratefully picked his brain and found a treasure trove of information there.

So Sam Abbott felt he was well prepared to be examined for his Plastics certification as he kissed April goodbye and left for the airport to make the short flight to Portland, where the examination was to be held.

The first hint of trouble came when Abbott failed to call her hours later after promising to do so once he reached the hotel. April waited and waited and waited some more until finally giving in to her impatience and trying to call him. Her call went right to voicemail. So did the next one, an hour later., and the next, and the next. By eleven o'clock she was frantic, leaving him voicemails threatening to start calling Portland area hospitals to find him.

Finally, her phone rang. But the callerID, City of Portland PD, was not one she wanted to see. Closing her eyes and holding her breath she answered.

“April? It's Sam.”

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I'm fine.”

“Then why are you calling from the Portland Police Department?”

“Kind of a long story. I'll tell you when I get back. But I just want you to know I'm fine.”

“Samuel Abbott, tell me right now why you are calling from this line.” April demanded.

She heard Sam sigh audibly and knew she wasn't going to like it.

“I've been arrested.” he answered.

Oh, God, please forgive me. I'm going to kill him, thought April Kepner.

  
  


Abbott had boarded the plane in Seattle and ended up sitting next to a young man, traveling with two companions seated in the row behind. His seatmate had noted the patches on Abbott's shoulder pack and struck up a conversation. They were on their way to Portland to be processed into the service themselves and when they learned Sam was a Navy SEAL, they began to pepper him with questions. Nice enough kids, Abbott had been happy to answer their questions and tell a few stories, particularly when he found out two of them were bound for the Navy, while the third, was Army bound.

The fresh recruits had each knocked back a couple of rounds on the short flight and when the plane landed and they deboarded, they begged Abbott to go out with them to celebrate their last night as civilians. Against his better judgment, he reluctantly agreed to join them for dinner, intending to buy them a decent meal before they were sent off to training.

They asked to cabdriver to recommend a good brewery in a town famous for brewpubs and microbreweries. “Say no more.” the cabbie had said, and they soon found themselves in the Pearl District, sitting in the very crowded rooftop patio of 10 Barrel Brewing. Abbott found himself in his ideal environment; an incredible selection of beer, and fantastic bar food. So, figuring April was almost two hundred miles away, and would never find out about this, he gave in to temptation and joined his companions for a few beers.

All was well until their waitress went on a break and the waiter covering for her stopped by the table to take their order for another round. He looked carefully at the young man heading for the Army the next day. “Did Lisa check your IDs?” he asked. So they all got out their IDs, even Abbott, and the waiter dutifully checked them. “Yeah, this one is obviously fake. Dude, you could cost us our license. We have to confiscate this and you'll need to talk to my manager.” He motioned for the manager to come over.

“Is this really necessary?” asked Abbott. “We are pretty much done here and just leaving anyway.”

Meanwhile the manager had arrived and had received the fake ID from the waiter. He answered Sam.

“Sir, we have a local ordinance that requires us to confiscate and report fake ID and underage consumption to the police.” he said officiously.

“Really? Listen, these young people are entering the service tomorrow morning to go serve their country. Now I admit, this one here made a mistake, but trouble with the police right now could really screw up his military processing. So how about we apologize, call it a lesson learned, and just leave quietly?”

The manager wasn't even looking at Abbott. Instead he saw the waiter on the phone look at him and give him the thumbs up. “I'm afraid you should have thought of that before you brought an underage person to a brew pub and furnished him with alcohol.”

Aww crap, thought Abbott. He looked over the edge of the rooftop as a Portland PD black and white pulled up and two officers got out. Then the young man with the fake ID, Allen, made his second mistake. He bolted for the exit.

“Oh shit.” muttered Abbott. Ignoring the manager, who was saying something like “Stop. You need to remain here.” Abbott and his two remaining companions followed after Allen. Abbott hoped to reach the young man before the police did. But those hopes were dashed as by the time they reached the bottom of the stairs, one officer had Allen in a chokehold while the other faced the stairs with his baton in hand.

“Is that really necessary?” Abbott found himself asking again.

But one of his other companions didn't help the situation by telling the officer, “Dude, this guy is a Navy SEAL so you'd better watch your ass.”, prompting the officer to shift his baton to his left hand and place his right on his gun.

Shit! This is escalating way too fast, Abbott thought. Then he noticed that Allen, still being held in the chokehold, now appeared to be seizing. The officer, misinterpreting the motion as resistance, further tightened his hold around the boy's neck.

“Hey, he's in trouble. Tell your partner to release him.” Abbott pleaded with the officer, who merely cast a quick glance toward the two on the floor, then tightened his own grip on his gun.

“Really, I'm a doctor and that kid is in trouble.”

“I thought you were a SEAL.” answered the cop, warily.

“I'm both, now please, unless you want that kid to die, tell your partner to release him.”

“You need to shut up, back off, and let us do our jobs.” the police officer answered.

Abbott saw Allen go limp now in the officers hold. Fuck, he had only seconds to act.

He took a step forward and the officer's eyes widened as he both swung the baton with his left and began to draw his firearm with his right. He was unable to complete either maneuver. Abbott's blow to his windpipe was delivered with just enough force to disable the officer without killing him. The man went down as Abbott quickly grabbed his gun, ejected the clip and the round in the chamber, and flipped it to a shocked patron seated nearby. The officer holding Allen released him, letting the young man fall to the floor and trying to quickly get a weapon into his hand but he had no chance either. Abbott delivered a blow to the officer's solar plexus that drove him to his knees, also struggling to breath.

Both officers disabled for the moment at least, Abbott turned his attention to saving Allen's life. Finding no pulse, he immediately began CPR. “Call 911!” he called out. The manager ran to the phone. As Abbott continued compressions, some of the other patrons began attending to the officers, who were both still struggling to recover their breath. Finally, the wail of sirens became discernible and moments later paramedics came rushing through the crowd. They looked at Abbott. “I'm a surgeon. The patient seized while being choked and went into cardiac arrest. Charge to defib.”

One paramedic unpacked the defibrillator while the other checked Allen's pulse to verify Abbotts diagnosis. Then he indicated the police officers nearby. “What's with them?”

“Not good listeners. I imagine they'll be arresting me in a minute or two so lets get this kid's heart beating again pronto.”

The paramedic looked at Abbott in surprise. In his line of work, he saw a lot of strange stuff but this was definitely a first.

The defibrillator charged, Abbott took the paddles, called “Clear!” and applied the shock to the young man prone on the floor. His body jumped with the jolt. Abbott checked his pulse. Weak but present. The portable EKG was now on. “Okay, we've got a rhythm.” announced the paramedic.

He felt a tap on his shoulder. Looking up, he found the first officer he had taken down rubbing his throat with one hand and pointing his gun at Abbott with the other. Abbott didn't see the point in telling him that the clip was still missing and the weapon unloaded. “You...you're under arrest.” the officer croaked with some difficulty. Abbott merely turned around and put his hands behind his back so the officer could cuff him. Should have known better than to have those beers, he thought.

  
  


April pointed out that the beers were only one of the multitude of mistakes he had made that night. And she did it loudly and with feeling.

Once she had vented she got around to asking what this meant for Abbott's examination in the morning?

“Uh, I'm pretty sure I'll be released in time to make it to the exam. I've been told several witnesses have come forth to describe how I warned the officers the kid was in trouble, and now they are thinking that I saved them a PR nightmare of having an officer kill a kid over a fake ID. Plus, outside of knocking the cops around a little, they really have nothing to charge me with.”

April rubbed her temple. “Outside of knocking cops around. Are you insane? You disabled two officers, disarming one of them, and you think it's no big deal?”

“Well, it sounds worse when you say it like that.”

“Sam, do I need to come down and post bail or something? Or get you a lawyer?”

“Nope. I already called Bill Cooper and he said to sit tight and they'd handle it.”

“They?”

“The Navy.” he answered.

“So you're in jail?”

“Yup.”

“And you're going to be there all night?”

“Looks like it, yeah.”

“Good.” April replied and hung up. Maybe that will teach him a lesson, she thought, though she doubted it.

  
  


The following evening Abbott appeared at her door acting for all the world like it had been a routine trip to his board examination.

“I see they sprung you from the pokey.” she observed.

“Just in time.” he admitted. It had been close.

“So you made it to your examination?”

“Sure. I told you I would.”

“Uh huh. And how did you do?”

“Got the results when I landed.” he answered grimly.

She wasn't buying it. “And?”

Abbott grinned. “Board certified Plastic surgeon.” he crowed.

April looked at him a moment, then closed the door in his face. “I hate him.” she cooed to the child on her hip. “Soooo muuuuch.”

“Samsamsam” Harriet replied.

“You too, huh?” April answered her daughter.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What role, if any, will Catherine play in this story?  
> How will Jackson react when he sees his strategy failing? Does he have a plan B?  
> Before we find out though, it's almost July and that means big happenings back in Moline.


	18. Heartland

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are beginning to move in the right direction for April and Abbott as she decides the upcoming Independence Day holiday weekend is the time for him to meet her family.  
> So he accompanies her to Moline and begins to be introduced to both Kepners and Kepner traditions, including one that terrifies him.  
> But he has less trepidation about another farm tradition that April introduces him to afterwards.

Jackson now had no choice but to give ENT procedures to the newly Board Certified in Plastics, Samuel Abbott. With Ben Warren rotating back onto Jackson's service as well, Abbott's life at GSMH was definitely ascending. For Abbott, finally having variety in his procedures improved his outlook a hundred percent. Free reign across the broader range of Plastics procedures also allowed him to repay Warren for his help by giving the Resident surgeon all that he could handle. As a result, Abbott and Ben began to form a tight friendship, further frustrating Jackson Avery.

Being out from under the strain of the Plastics examination also freed up more time for Abbott to spend with April, who had finally finished implementing the first phase of her planned changes to Trauma. With more time to spend together, their relationship strengthened to the point that Sam rarely spent a night in his own apartment anymore.

And a future together began to finally creep into their conversations. It was April who decided it was time for Sam to meet her family and that the long Independence Day weekend was the time to make it happen.

For small towns across the US, July 4th offers a chance to get the whole community out to celebrate. April's hometown, Moline, was typical that way, celebrating with a Freedom Run 5k, parade, chili cookoff, pie eating contest, tractor pull, and, of course, a big fireworks display that was the single biggest item in the towns budget.

April had already planned on bringing Harriet home to Moline this year and now asked Abbott if he was interested in joining them too. “It will be a good chance to meet the entire family.” she had said. They way she said it, Abbott wasn't sure she was encouraging or warning him. He opted for encouragement and told her he'd love to come with her.

They exited the terminal at Toledo Express Airport and trudged through a sultry Midwest afternoon to their rental car, lugging enough baggage for a week. Abbott had remarked on it when he showed up to pick up April and Harriet but she had pointed out that the bulk of it was for Harriet. “I never knew kids were so bulky.” he had answered. She had merely rolled her eyes and replied “There are so many things you don't know.”

It was a little less than nineteen miles to the Kepner farm from the airport and they made it in just over twenty minutes, despite almost every mile of it being under construction.

When they pulled up, the sturdy two-story Kepner house erupted with red headed relatives pouring out of the front door in a seemingly endless stream. April and Harriet were engulfed in hugs and kisses, while Abbott stood quietly beside the car observing. Finally, an older man emerged from the mob and approached him, extending his hand.

“Joe Kepner. I'm April's dad.”

“Sam Abbott, sir, pleased to meet you.”

Joe had, of course, been told that April was bringing a 'special' friend and that his name was Sam, but still, hearing it spoken out loud triggered a little pang of sadness. But before he could say any more, April approached, dragging a woman Sam assumed to be her mother by the hand.

“Mom, Dad, this is Sam Abbott.”

April's mother extended her hand and Abbott shook it. “Oh, Sam, it is so good to meet you finally. April has been telling us about you for awhile now. I understand you're a national hero.”

“Mom.” April cautioned.

Abbott cut her off. “I'm afraid she exaggerates quite a lot then. Nice to meet you, Mrs Kepner.”

“Oh, please, call me Karen. Welcome to Moline.”

Abbott spent the next several minutes being inundated with Kepner siblings, cousins, nephews, nieces, old family friends and even a few family pets. When April finally extracted him from the ginger sea, his head was spinning with names, nicknames, family connections and advice on who he should and should not sit next to at dinner.

Sam wasn't sure how this many people could possibly be packed into the Kepner house but was surprised to find they all fit, though every corner of the house seemed full. April was instructed to bring her things, along with Harriet's, to her old bedroom, while Sam was offered a spot on the sitting room floor with the unmarried male cousins from neighboring Walbridge. April tried to apologize but Abbott dismissed it, saying he had slept in many worse places. She appreciated what a good sport he was being.

April left him on his own to go help her mother and sisters in the kitchen so Abbott wandered outside to find April's father lighting the charcoal in his large grill. “Need any help?” Sam asked.

“Not at the moment but I'd be glad for the company if you want to stick around. There's beer in the cooler over there. Oh, damn, April told me not to do that.”

“Told you not to do what?”

“Offer you anything alcoholic.”

Abbott was just a little irritated. While his little misadventure in Portland had involved a beer or two, he thought April was way overboard with her theory about how much it would lead him into trouble. He had even asked his counselor at Bauer about it and been told that as long as he didn't overindulge, it shouldn't be a problem.

Now April had spread the word with her family that he couldn't drink? Did they imagine he was an alcoholic then? Or some sort of dangerous psycho? He would have to have a talk with her about this.

“I think a beer sounds pretty great right now. April's got it in her head that I shouldn't drink anything because of my war experiences but she's worried for nothing.”

Joe Kepner looked at him carefully. “Yeah, she inherited her mother's worry gene. Grab a cold one and we'll just keep it our little secret.”

Abbott smiled. “Sounds like a plan.”

By the time all the burgers, wienies, chicken and corn were cooked, Abbott had learned several of Joe Kepner's secret grilling tricks, and Joe had decided that April just might have found herself a partner worthy of her in the exSEAL.

Fortunately the weather was cooperative so the entire Kepner clan gathered around the picnic tables just off the back porch and dinner was served. A seat next to Abbott was in high demand as curiosity about April's new boyfriend ran high. By the time April was done helping serve the meal, all the space in Sam's vicinity was taken, so she sat herself and Harriet down next to her mother to eat.

Periodically she looked down the table to where he sat. Poor Sam, she thought, his plates still full. They are peppering him with so many questions he hasn't had a chance to eat. So when she finished, she handed Harriet to Alice, prepared a big piece of cherry pie on a paper plate, and delivered it to her beleaguered companion.

When she arrived, he was fighting a losing battle to defend the quality of Pac12 football to the partisan Big 10 crowd surrounding him. “Alright, lay off him, you guys. Dessert is served so go get some before it's all gone.”

“Is that pie for me,” asked one of her cousins?

“Like you've ever done anything to deserve being served dessert. This is for our distinguished guest. Now get lost so I can assess the damage you've done to my poor friend here.” April answered.

The table cleared as her cousins went off in search of their own desserts. April sat down next to Abbott.

“Sorry about that.” she apologized.

“About what?” he asked.

He's such a good sport. “Throwing you to the wolves right away like that.”

“Ah, they're harmless. Kind of fun, actually. More like Navy family than Abbott family, and that's a good thing.” he reassured her.

“Good.” she answered around the bite of pie she had just taken.

“Hey, I thought that was mine?” his expression betrayed sincere concern. The pie was beautiful.

“Not until you eat your dinner. This is the Midwest. We have a code. No dessert if you don't eat your dinner.”

“And you honor the code.”

“And we honor the code.” she answered, loading up her fork again. She was in her element now and intended to take full advantage of it.

Sam could only shake his head and take a big bite of his now cold hamburger. He understood about honoring the code. There was no arguing against it.

  


The evening flew by. April's father invited Sam to accompany him in looking after the animals, which Sam happily accepted. April's eyebrows arched. “Abbott, have you ever been around any animals?”

He shrugged. “I had a dog.”

April looked at her father. He was smiling a smile she knew well. He may like Sam but this was also HIS element and he too was intent on establishing that point with his daughters friend.

“Have fun.” April smiled brightly at Sam.

It was the smile that made Abbott suddenly suspicious. He continued to glance back at her over his shoulder as he followed her father toward the barn.

An hour later, they returned. Her father winked at her. A dirty and sweaty Sam made more prolonged eye contact with her.

She again smiled sweetly in response. He nodded at her with an expression much less sweet. “Going in to change.” he told her.

“Good idea.” she responded.

As Sam trudged toward the house, Joe sat down next to his daughter.

“Well?” she asked.

“He's a keeper, I think.”

“Already?”

“Well, sweetie, you're not getting any younger.” he answered with a mischievous smile.

“Hey!” she rocked her shoulder lightly into his.

“Just callin em like I see em.” he laughed.

  


Once it got dark, a fire was built in the fire pit, blankets and chairs appeared on the grass around it, and the entire clan again gathered together. Sam and April shared a blanket, with Sam holding Harriet in his lap. Two guitars, a flute, and a tambourine were also brought out. And suddenly Sam realized his worst nightmare; the Kepners were all musically inclined.

There were very few things Abbott feared in this world. Chief among them though was having to sing or otherwise perform in front of an audience. The very thought of it made him want to throw up. And now, as one by one Kepners played and sang, all very well, a fear began to creep up on him that he, too, would be expected to sing.

The fear strengthened as Kepner by Kepner the singing turn got closer and closer. He looked at April, hoping to somehow low-key communicate his desire to be skipped from this opportunity. But she was too caught up in it herself to notice his distress. What he saw in her face just made his predicament even more dire. This was obviously something she loved, something she considered bedrock Kepner. Her disappointment in him for refusing would be difficult to live with.

Then, it was her turn. She turned toward him and began to sing in her beautiful clear voice. And he knew right away she had prepared this with him in mind.

 _I remember tears streaming down your face_  
When I said, "I'll never let you go."  
When all those shadows almost killed your light  
I remember you said, "Don't leave me here alone,"  
But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight  
  
Just close your eyes  
The sun is going down  
You'll be alright  
No one can hurt you now  
Come morning light  
You and I'll be safe and sound  
  
Don't you dare look out your window, darling.  
Everything's on fire  
The war outside our door keeps raging on  
Hold onto this lullaby  
Even when the music's gone  
Gone  
  
Just close your eyes  
The sun is going down  
You'll be alright  
No one can hurt you now  
Come morning light  
You and I'll be safe and sound  
  
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh  
La, la (la, la)  
La, la (la, la)  
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh  
La, la (la, la)  
  
Just close your eyes  
You'll be alright  
Come morning light,  
You and I'll be safe and sound...  
  
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, oh, oh

  


She finished and the polite applause was particularly energized for her. Sam thought her smile would melt him.

“Your turn.” she whispered to him.

Abbott's stomach turned and his mind went blank. He could feel himself sweating even more than the humidity demanded. “But I don't know any songs.” he was finally able to whisper back. Her smile faltered just a little.

“Any little thing will do.” she encouraged.

He couldn't bear to be facing her when he failed her so instead he looked down at Harriet, who picked that exact moment to yawn. His brain suddenly stirred itself. He had learned one song, just a short time ago. But he had only intended to sing it to one person in the world. A very small person.

Sam focused his attention on Harriet, pretending they were all alone in her room in April's Seattle apartment. He took a deep breath and began...

Christopher Robin and  
I walked along  
Under branches lit up  
By the moon  
Posing our questions  
To Owl and Eeyore  
As our days disappeared  
All too soon  
But I've wandered much further  
Today than I should  
And I can't seem to find my way  
Back to the Wood  
  
So help me if you can  
I've got to get  
Back to the House  
At Pooh Corner by one  
You'd be surprised  
There's so much to be done  
Count all the bees in the hive  
Chase all the clouds from the sky  
Back to the days of  
Christopher Robin and Pooh  
  
Winnie the Pooh  
Doesn't know what to do  
Got a honey jar stuck on his nose  
He came to me  
Asking help and advice  
And from here no one knows where he goes  
So I sent him to ask of the Owl  
If he's there  
How to loosen a jar  
From the nose of a bear  
  
Believe me if you can  
I've finally come  
Back to the House at  
Pooh Corner by one  
What do you know  
There's so much to be done  
Count all the bees in the hive  
Chase all the clouds from the sky  
Back to the days of Christopher Robin  
Back to the ways of Christopher Robin  
Back to the days of Pooh

  


And Harriet, the perfect accomplice, as if on cue, fell asleep in his arms. There was a small smattering of applause, quickly hushed so as not to wake her. But Abbott didn't care about that anyway. The way April was looking at him was more than enough reward.

It was late when the fire was finally allowed to burn itself out. Several Kepners and relatives of Kepners got into cars and drove home, promising to return the following day, the 3rd, to help prepare for the holiday.

Abbott lost track of April when she took Harriet up to put her to bed so he went and found his things, brushed his teeth, and rolled a Kepner sleeping bag across his area of the parlor. A couple of the cousins were already asleep and their heavy breathing could be heard across the room.

Just when he was about to give up on her, April came breezing through the room, grabbed his hand, and dragged him out of the parlor. “Thought you had forgotten me.” he told her.

“Sshh!” she motioned for him to be quiet and continued dragging him through the front door onto the long covered porch. But he realized that wasn't her intended destination either when she continued to pull him down the steps and then turned toward the barn.

“Oh, no, not there again. I still smell like pig.” he protested.

“Shut up.” she answered, without slowing down.

“But...” he started to say as they reached the barn door.

“What, Abbott Labs, you've never heard of a roll in the hay?”

“Oh.... OH!” he answered.

But by then they were in the barn. And April was again asserting her home turf advantage, not that Sam minded.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Abbott gets off to a good start but can he keep it going in the midst of Kepner madness?  
> Are there any more Kepner traditions that he needs to fear?
> 
> As always, thanks for reading. Love comments as well.


	19. Independence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Independence Day holiday weekend continues at the Kepner farm.  
> Abbott stumbles onto more of April's talents. But she's the one to tell him a bigger secret.  
> And as talk turns to heroism, Abbott shares a story from his experiences.

The following day there was a lot of activity at the Kepner place to prepare for the 4th. For one thing, the Kepners got busy decorating a hay wagon that Joe would be pulling behind his tractor in the big, for Moline, parade through downtown. April enlisted Sam's help with this project and he couldn't help but think about the previous night's activity with her as he helped heft hay bales up onto the wagon.

The Kepner 'float' was ready to roll by noon so Joe declared his crew done with preparations and suggested they spend the afternoon shooting clays out in a back field. Despite Karen's protests, her children, except Kimmie, who hated guns, and their spouses, plus Abbott, followed Joe out to the back forty to see if they could break some clay targets.

With two shotguns, six dozen clays, and boxes of shotgun shells, they hiked the half mile through the building heat of the July afternoon.

After everyone had a chance to 'warm up' their shooting skill, they divided themselves into two teams and a friendly competition ensued. Sam's reputation as an elite warrior made him a sought after teammate so when a coin flip determined that team captain Alice would have the first pick, she didn't hesitate a moment to choose him, much to her husband, Todd's, dismay. Joe, the other team captain, chose April as his first pick, impressing Abbott mightily.

“Something you never told me about yourself, Kepner?” he asked her.

“Lots of things, actually,” she smirked, “but I don't like to make a big deal out of what I do like some people I know.”

Abbott gave her a look. “Not sure who you might be referring to.”

“Oh, no one in particular.” she answered. “Ah Ah Ah Navy Cross” she fake sneezed.

He feigned astonished anger toward her. “You are so going down, Kepner.”

“We'll see.” she answered confidently.

Alice rounded out her team by choosing her husband, Todd, and Kimmie's, Roger. While Joe picked another daughter, Libby, and Libby's husband, Tony. Sam felt pretty good about their chances when Alice started off by obliterating her first two clays. Then Libby did the same for the other team. Hmm, he thought. Those two Kepner girls know how to shoot.

Todd went next and got one solidly while just nicking the second. Tony hit one and missed one for Joe's team. Okay, we have the lead, thought Sam.

Roger though, missed both of his. April stepped up, smiled brightly at Sam, and proceeded to vaporize both of hers. OK, so all three Kepner girls know how to shoot. Which probably means their old man is a crack shot too.

Sam stepped up and casually pulverized his two clay targets. Joe Kepner confirmed Abbott's earlier suspicion by blasting his two targets to pieces as effectively as his girls before him. Round 1 to Joe's team by 1 point.

Round 2 saw them extend their lead to three as both Todd and Roger missed one each and Joe's team went perfect. Abbott looked at April, who gleefully flashed him the L for loser sign. Note to self, thought Sam, little April Kepner is a bit competitive.

It just got worse. Poor Roger had never really learned how to shoot so he missed more than he hit. Todd, for all his bravado, wasn't really all that much better and seemed to resent his wife being so much better at it than he was. So it was basically Alice and Sam trying to match the perfection of Libby, April, and Joe while Tony relaxed and did a pretty credible job of hitting more than he missed. The end result? Team Joe crushed Team Alice by ten targets after five rounds.

“The heat's really throwing me off.” complained Todd. “I think I'll head back.”

Alice shrugged her shoulders. “Okay, I'll go with you. Nice shooting Sam.”

“You too, Ali” he answered.

“What did you call her?” April asked him.

“Oh, she said I could call her Ali if I wanted to.”

“Huh.” April replied. When had Sam bonded with Alice?

“Is that okay?” he asked.

“If it's okay with her, it's okay with me.” she answered.

“Well, we'll still got a carton of targets that I'd rather not carry back.” announced Joe Kepner. 'Anybody want to shoot a few more?”

Tony indicated that he was done shooting but would be happy to launch targets for the others so each took turns knocking them down.

Finally, Libby missed and complained that her shoulder was starting to feel it. She and Tony started back for the house while Roger took over target launching duties for Abbott, April, and Joe.

After a few more rounds, Joe indicated that he, too, was getting tired and stopped to watch Sam and April finish off the last of the targets. It was quite a demonstration. Neither came close to missing.

The targets exhausted, the four packed up the remaining ammo, cleaned up the piles of spent casings, and began the trek back to the house. April walked ahead with Roger while Abbott found himself walking with April's father.

“Well, sir, I can see where your girls learned how to shoot so well.”

“I started em young. I just didn't want them to be afraid of firearms.” Joe answered.

“Why doesn't Kimmie shoot?”

“That one's always gone her own way, and it's usually the opposite of my way.”

Abbott grunted but couldn't help but couldn't keep himself from looking at April. Her father saw it.

“Yes, April can be a little headstrong too. But she's needed the strength. It hasn't been easy for her.”

Joe looked hard at the man walking beside him. “I won't let her be hurt again. I won't allow it.”

Sam stopped walking and turned to face him. “Neither will I.” he answered.

After a long moment Joe answered him. “No, I don't believe you would.”

  
  


That night, Karen and Joe babysat Harriet and the other youngest Kepners, freeing Sam and April to go to the Freedom Dance downtown. Country music blared from speakers and booths were set up to sell fried goods, beer, and all manner of unhealthy snacks.

“You could make a career in cardiology just from what's going on in this street.” Sam remarked.

“Party pooper. Aren't you patriotic at all?” April teased him.

“I regret that I have but one circulatory system to give my country.” Sam announced dramatically.

“Uh huh, okay Nathan Hale, come on. I'll teach you how to dance the right way.” Taking him by the hand, April led him to the dance floor for a little square dance lesson. This time, Sam found himself wholly out of his element, much to April's entertainment.

Making their way toward the house, they walked arm in arm.

“How are you doing?” April asked him.

“Me? Great! How about you?”

“No, I mean, how are you making out with this whole family thing?”

“Are you kidding? I'm having a blast.” he answered sincerely.

“It's not too much?”

“April, I'm really enjoying this, okay? You're great. Your family's great. I'm learning all kinds of new stuff about you.”

“Uh-oh.”

“That is what you should be worrying about.”

April disengaged her arm so she could smack his shoulder. Then she moved in close. Never one to pass up a target of opportunity, Sam leaned down to kiss her.

“I love you, Sam.” she told him.

It was the first time she had said it to him. He wasn't sure he heard her correctly. He could only stare at her, his expression a mixture of joy and wonder.

“What?” he asked, when he could finally muster a word.

April turned and began walking toward the farmhouse. “If you think I'm going to keep repeating it until you finally comprehend it, you're sadly mistaken.” she said over her shoulder.

Abbott ran to get between her and the house, blocking her forward progress.

“I just... I never thought I'd hear that again.” he said, a serious expression on his face now.

“Well, that's just stupid. What did you think was happening here?”

“But it's like when you root for your team to get to the Super Bowl year after year and then finally they get there and you can't really believe it.”

“Seriously? I tell you I love you and you give me a stupid sports analogy?” April complained. Typical guy.

“Okay, you make a good point.” Sam admitted. “Let me put it this way; I never dreamed I could be so lucky as to have you love me.”

“Much better.” April conceded. She reached up and kissed him. And then walked around him toward the house.

“Wait! Don't you want to hear my answer?” Abbott said, standing in the gravel drive.

“Wasn't a question, sailor-boy.” she called back over her shoulder and then she was climbing the porch and entering the house, leaving Abbott grinning alone in the drive.

  
  


There was no reprise of the previous night's hayloft adventure, which left Abbott mildly disheartened. But his disappointment was partially offset by not having to endure another sing along either. Still, he had prepared a passable rendition of _Twinkle Twinkle_ in case the need arose. And he would have been willing to deliver it, if it would have led to the hayloft again.

But with a long Fourth ahead of them, April wanted to make sure they all got a good night's sleep so she kissed him downstairs and went up pretty early. Abbott though, wasn't very sleepy yet, so he made his way out to the porch where Joe Kepner, his three sons-in-law, and a couple of Kepner cousins had gathered.

“Sam, grab a beer and join us.” Joe called to him.

Abbott did as he was bid and sat beside Tony on one of the whitewashed benches.

“Todd was just telling us about a whitewater rafting trip he did last Spring.” one of the cousins, Aaron, Sam thought his name was, informed him.

“Yeah, it was pretty hairy,” Todd confirmed. “Up in West Virginia. Class Five, supposed to be unrunnable. But we found a guide who was willing to take us. My buddies and I are kind of adrenaline junkies for that stuff. Almost didn't make it back this time.”

“Did you go in?” asked Roger.

“Me? No, but I'm the only one who didn't. It was crazy! The guide and I were fishing my friends out most of the day.”

“Wow!” Aaron said.

“What about you, Sam? Are you a thrill seeker too?” asked the other cousin, Oliver, who they all called Ollie.

“Not so much, no.” answered Sam.

“But you must have done some crazy stuff in the service?” Aaron chimed in.

“I guess. But that wasn't for fun.” Sam replied, not sure he wanted to share any of those sort of details.

“Come on, Sam, what's the craziest thing you've ever done?”

Abbott thought about it for a few seconds. As long as he didn't reveal any classified information, he guessed it wouldn't do any harm.

“Well, my last mission I did jump HALO over hostile territory.”

“HALO? What's that?” asked Aaron.

“Stands for _High Altitude, Low Open_. Its when we jump out of an aircraft that's flying at a high altitude but wait until we get down low to open the chute.” Abbott explained after taking a draw of his beer.

“Why would you do that?” asked Tony.

“So the plane can stay undetected or out of range of SAMs or for any number of reasons.”

“So, basically, the craziest thing you've had to do was skydive?” asked Todd, the derision obvious by his tone. It irked Abbott a little.

“Well, the hairy thing is the speed, right? If you jump at 30,000 feet and open at say 2000, you end up freefalling about 75 seconds and at a terminal velocity of about 125 miles per hour. Pretty fast. But you don't worry too much about that. What you worry about is who you might meet on the ground. So, yeah, its a little crazy.”

“Is that how you earned your medal, son?” asked Joe Kepner. He too had heard something he didn't like in Todd's tone.

“No, sir, that was a different time.”

“What medal?” asked Roger.

“Just a medal.” answered Abbott.

“No, son, I don't guess it is.” disagreed April's father. “Mr Abbott here was awarded the Navy Cross not too long ago.”

“The Navy Cross?” asked Tony.

“The second highest military honor. Sam's team was ambushed in Afghanistan and despite being wounded twice, he saved two fellow soldiers, and even brought home the remains of a handful more.”

Abbott looked down at his feet. He'd have to talk to April about this.

As though reading the SEAL's mind, Joe said, “Sam, April only told us you had been awarded the Navy Cross. I got the rest from Google. So don't go giving her any trouble about it.”

“And jumping out of a plane is the craziest thing you could think of?” asked Aaron incredulously.

  
  


The Fourth of July dawned hot and humid in Ohio. But that didn't diminish anyone's enthusiasm for the celebration. Bright and early, Sam joined the throng lining the main street in Moline, cheering as the local parade marched through.

April had offered him the chance to sit on the Kepner Pork _float_ with the rest of the family but he had declined, saying he wanted to see the whole of his first Independence Day in Moline parade.

“Because it will be quite the spectacle.” April had stated a bit facetiously.

“That's what I'm anticipating.” he replied.

She rolled her eyes in response.

The truth was, it was just as wonderful as he had guessed it would be. The firetruck was so shiny he guessed that the volunteer firefighters had spend the previous week detailing it. The Sheriff smiled and waved and threw out Tootsie Rolls to children from his cruiser. The high school marching band was in fine form as well though Sam guessed they must be cooking in band uniforms clearly not designed for marching in July heat. And on and on. It was the sort of parade anyone who wished could march in so you had the Walburg family marching proudly under a bedsheet proclaiming their twenty-first family reunion; four teens on skateboards doing 360 kick flips back and forth across the street; and of course the _floats_ representing the local businesses that ranged from decorated pickup trucks to larger flatbeds, farm tractors, and tractors hauling haywagons, like the Kepner Pork entry.

Joe proudly piloted his John Deere tractor, grandson Toby in his lap, hauling the rest of his family in their carefully decorated haywagon behind. Sam cheered loudly when they came into view and April helped Harriet wave to him. He thought he'd never seen a cuter thing in his life. As they slowly moved away, Sam reflected on the wonder that was April Kepner. The woman was equally at home in a high tech OR, a battlefield surgical unit, or riding on a haywagon in Moline, OH. Sam Abbott, Navy SEAL, Navy Cross recipient, double-board certified surgeon, wondered if he could ever be enough to deserve the love she had proclaimed for him the previous night. Probably not, he concluded, but that wouldn't keep him from trying.

Abbott met up with the Kepners after the parade and they returned to the Kepner farm to relax, rest up, and get ready for the big fireworks show to come. Sam became a little concerned when thunderclouds sprang up, seemingly from nowhere, and lightning began to flash in the sky, followed by an intense downpour.

“So much for fireworks.” he remarked to April as they sat side-by-side on the porch swing.

“Oh, don't worry, this is pretty normal. It'll clear out by fireworks time.” she answered confidently.

By the time dinner was served, the storms had moved off toward the east, leaving clear skies overhead.

April's aunt and uncle joined the Kepners for dinner. Aaron Kepner was telling his father about the porch conversation the previous night. “Dad, did you know Sam won the Navy Cross?”

Abbott paused in chewing his chicken, looking across the table at April, who continued eating her dinner.

Uncle George chuckled. “I'm not sure he _won_ it, son, he might have earned it though.”

“He did. He saved a bunch of soldiers in Afghanistan.” insisted Aaron.

“Well, that's really something.” replied George, looking at Abbott.

“And he did it again, just a couple of months ago. But we're not allowed to talk about it.” added April.

She returned Sam's look evenly, unwilling to be intimidated.

“Joe, I don't think we've ever had a genuine hero join us here before.” George told his brother. “Thank you for your service.” he raised his glass and the rest of the table, less Abbott, joined him.

Sam continued to look coolly at April, who was smirking back at him.

“You know,” Sam began, “I'm not sure that's true.”

“Oh?” asked Joe, from the other end of the table.

“So one thing I've learned is that you don't need to wear a patch on your shoulder, or a uniform, to be a hero. I remember not too long ago I would have died myself if not for a civilian saving my life.”

“Really?” asked Aaron's brother Ollie.

Abbott continued to look at April, who now had stopped chewing herself.

“Yep. I had been in a bad vehicle accident. Dislocated my shoulder and opened up my head.” He pulled his hair back from his forehead and showed them the long narrow scar. “Got a bad concussion too. I was pretty much done in.”

“But he still managed to rescue two other men.” interjected April.

“Now, honey, let Sam tell his story.” admonished her father.

“But...”

“Yes, April, please let me tell it.” Sam told her and her mouth snapped shut though her eyes spoke volumes. Sam merely smiled back at her. Now the entire table was listening intently.

“So, there I was, practically done for, a vehicle full of oxygen burning and about to explode right next to me, when I realized there was a pregnant woman trapped under a car too.” Sam was taking a few minor liberties with the story but figured it was still factually correct.

Now I tried to get to the woman but I just couldn't. I was about to give up when two civilians showed up, risking their lives, to help. While one lifted the wrecked car, the other, a woman yet,”

Abbott noted the dangerous narrowing of April's brows so he quickly continued.

“crawled into the wreckage to drag the trapped girl to safety.”

“Wow!” exclaimed Aaron.

“Yeah, but it gets even better. The two civilians were carrying the girl to safety when the woman noticed that I wasn't following.”

“Why?” asked Aaron, clearly caught up in the story. “Were you trapped too?”

“Nope. I was too hurt and too weak to move. I figured my time was up. So I just gave up.”

“Then what happened?” his brother asked.

“While I was laying in the road, the same woman who had crawled into the wreck came back for me. She told me she wasn't going to leave me behind and she practically carried me to safety right before the rig exploded. She risked her life to save mine. If that's not heroism, I don't know what is.”

All the while he was telling the story, his eyes remained locked with April's.

“Was this in Afghanistan too?” asked Uncle George amid the silence.

Abbott shook his head. “Seattle.”

Slowly, all eyes turned toward April.

Finally Joe Kepner broke the silence. “I guess Sam's right. Seems like we've had a hero amongst us the whole time.”

Sam could see April's eyes glittering. He knew her well enough to know he was either in big trouble or, possibly, he had hit it out of the park. With April, those two outcomes never seemed to be too far apart from each other.

He missed most of the fireworks show that night. Hitting it out of the park has its consequences.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After an eventful holiday weekend in Ohio, April and Abbott will return to Seattle where they will find that that world didn't stop spinning while they were gone.  
> Hope this story is working for you. I promise more action in the coming chapters.
> 
> Thanks as always for reading. If you'd take a minute to comment too, I'd be very grateful.


	20. Regrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jackson finds his life unraveling a little so he tries to reconnect with an old friend.  
> That leads him to a discovery that has him revisiting a strategy from earlier days.  
> But this time, Catherine is not a fan.  
> Nor is April, when Jackson tips his hand a little prematurely.

“This isn't working.”

“You're seeing things that don't exist.”

“I've been in this situation before, a couple of times, so I know what this looks like.”

He shook his head, scowling, “Whatever happened in the past doesn't apply to us, to now.”

“How ironic that you say that. It's exactly what applies to us now. You loved her in the past and you love her still now.”

“You sound crazy right now.” he protested.

Maggie Pierce rubbed her eyes with the heels of her palms. “Ungh, why do I keep doing this to myself? Why can't I just find a nice guy who isn't in love with someone else and just wants a simple relationship?”

“Relationships are never _simple_.” Jackson answered.

“Apparently they aren't with you, anyway. But I'm calling it. I can't do this anymore.”

“Maggie. I don't love April. Besides, she's with Abbott now.” And if what his mother had told him was true, then it was too late to do anything about that.

“Right. The guy you've tried to sabotage since the day he walked into the hospital. Why do that, Jackson, if you don't care about her any more? Why?”

“Sabotage? What? Now you're just being ridiculous.” Jackson was angry now. Ever since Abbott had arrived at Grey Sloan, things with Maggie had been deteriorating. Now, it appeared to have reached a head, and she was breaking it off with him.

“Ridiculous? How ridiculous is it that you gave him less than three months to certify in Plastics? You spent two YEARS preparing Jackson, two years! And now you want him to test for a very difficult ENT cert in another three months? What is that about? Are you trying to make him quit? Make him fail? Keep him from having time with April?”

“That's enough!”said Jackson, becoming very uncomfortable by how close Maggie's accusations were coming to the truth. “I've already told you, run your own department and I'll run mine.”

“Don't pretend that this is professional, Jackson. This is purely personal.”

“And my relationship with April is none of your damn business so stay the hell out of my personal life.” It took the look on Maggie's face, and the silence that had descended, for Jackson to realize what he had just said.

“Maggie...” he began. But she didn't stick around to hear whatever it was he was going to tell her.

Well, he reflected, no great loss there anyway. After a pretty good start, highlighted by very good, if not great, sex, they had quickly plateaued. Slipping away to on-call rooms had dwindled and then ceased. His level of anticipation for date nights had dropped dramatically, and he had begun to notice little things about Pierce that he once thought vaguely cute, were now annoying the hell out of him. Her rambling on and on, for instance, was driving him bananas. As was her incessant obsession with her family. If he wanted to keep close tabs on Webber, he'd ask his mother. And he really didn't care what was happening between Meredith and Amelia and Nathan and Hunt.

No, breaking up with Pierce itself wasn't going to bother him too much. What was eating away at him was the knowledge that he'd severely screwed up his relationship with April and blown any chance to ever get back together with her. How could he have been so stupid?

In his mind he retraced his steps all the way back to Montana. What had started out as a disaster had ended in triumph. And bed. And it had been so damn good. All of it. They had saved that girl's life AND her voice with a groundbreaking Hail Mary. In spite of the whole sad thing with his father. That part had been all April. She kept him from spinning out, kept him grounded, had been his rock. And being with her again had been .. extraordinary.

So what happened? Why hadn't that thrown them back together? They got back to Seattle both wanting it, he was sure. But, as usual, they couldn't figure out how to convey their feelings to each other. Old wounds were still raw. Then she had gone to Chicago with his mother. And that had brought everything back up for him. How she had become a traitor at the drop of a job. How she was being manipulated to some mysterious end by his mother. He was reminded that April couldn't be trusted in a pinch. He remembered how things always had to go the way she wanted them to go. He'd seen it over and over. By the time April got back, he had forgotten that good Montana feeling. Besides, that was pretty much when he got involved with Maggie's mom and all that Pierce drama.

And before he knew it April was observing how he looked at Maggie in a hospital parking lot. Damn it!

  
Ben stuck his head in the door. “Got the labs back on that supraglottic laryngectomy you did last week.”

“Well, let's see them.” Jackson snapped. With Abbott in Ohio, Warren had been bearing the brunt of Jackson's ire the last few days. Though he liked Sam, he was anxious for his return so Jackson would get off his back and back on Abbott's.

“Okay, these look good. Let's go take one more look and then we can release him. Dude better quit smoking or he'll lose the rest of it.”

“Not sure he gets that.” Ben observed. “He'd rather believe something else. Doesn't know what's good for him, I guess.”

“A lot of that going around.” Jackson acknowledged.

Oh the irony, thought Ben Warren, knowing Jackson hadn't been referring to himself. “Gonna go check on Marsten and Trawley. When did you want to see smokin Joe Williams?”

“Smokin Joe Wil? Oh, yeah, the laryngectomy. Lets see him first thing after lunch. Speaking of which, got any plans tonight?”

Ben hesitated. Was Avery going to ask him to work late? That would suck. “No, not really. Catch the game at Joe's maybe.”

“Who's playing?”

“Dodgers vs Cubs”

“Mind if I join you? Love to watch the Cubbies pound your Dodgers. We haven't hung out in forever.”

“That would be cool. But, aren't you doing something with Pierce tonight?” Ben asked.

“No. I'm free and single.” Jackson answered. Ben would get the details from the hospital grapevine soon enough.

  
The bar was packed for a Monday night, but they figured it was because a lot of people take the 3rd off too in advance of the holiday. Not that it would be too much of a holiday for Jackson or Ben as the entire metro Seattle area seemingly played with fire, poorly so, and the hospital would be packed with everything from minor to major burns of all types.

Because of this, he had said, Jackson had argued against letting Abbott off for the long weekend, only relenting when Nathan and Deluca had offered to cover all his shifts and April begged him. Tomorrow he would regret giving in but at least he had one thing he could point to if again accused of sabotaging Abbott.

It felt good to be out with Ben again, though he still detected a little tension between them. He supposed he shouldn't be surprised since he acknowledged treating the resident badly during the whole Minnick fiasco. Thank God that little experiment was over. It had really created a lot of fractures among the staff, most notably between Jackson and April.

But Montana had cured that ill, hadn't it? And there it was, the circle complete. As usual he and April went round and round on the carousel and never made it anywhere. Well, they had made it somewhere once. Somewhere special and good. But the death of Samuel had driven them from that place and they could never quite get back. Fuck it, Jackson thought, this is pointless. She's moved on and its really over. Now if he could just stop blaming himself and regretting everything he had done to make that happen.

“And that one is out of there!” announced Ben happily, as a Dodger crushed their third home run of a game that appeared to be turning into a rout.

“Geez, look at that pitch. Right down the pipe. I could have hit that out.” Jackson lamented. The Cubbies were struggling this year but there was still plenty of season left for them to rally.

“Hey, I'm goiing to get another beer. You ready for one?” asked Jackson.

“Me? No thanks. I'm driving tonight and doubt the Navy would come and bail me out if I got arrested.”

“The Navy? What are you talking about?”

Ben took a sip of his beer, watching the replay of the homerun. “Oh you didn't hear that story? It's pretty wild.”

“Abbott got arrested?”

“Yeah, the night before his board exam, of all things. Apparently he hooked up with some military dudes, went to a brewpub, there was trouble, and he put two cops down.”

“What?”

“Well obviously not _down_ down. But down enough that he got busted and spent the night in jail. Then the Navy bailed him out just in time for the exam. And he still crushed it. The dude is something else. I'm surprised April didn't tell you.”

“Yeah, well we aren't talking much these days.” he answered grimly.

Jackson seethed. And now this menace is with his daughter and April in Moline. It's just a matter of time before he loses it and hurts them. He had to do something about this before it was too late.

  
“Jackson, honey, are you sure you want to do this?”

“Mom, what happens if he loses control and hurts Harriet? Or April?”

“You know that this will irreparably damage your relationship with April if you go through with it?”

“What choice do I have?”

Catherine Avery looked at her son carefully. In the not too distant past she might have been the one urging Jackson on. But now, she almost felt she trusted April's judgment more than her son's. Plus she had been doing some checking around, anticipating that Jackson might try some desperate idea once he came to his senses and realized what he had thrown away.

So Catherine had asked around the hospital and found that the general feeling was that Jackson was being unfair to Abbott and had treated April shabbily as well. She had also learned that Bailey knew all about the PTSD and was monitoring Abbott's treatment. All reports from Bauer had been positive and everyone was encouraged about his progress.

The story Jackson told could possibly have triggered warning sirens except for the fact that Bailey was obviously aware of the incident and hadn't seen fit to even suspend Abbott. That told her there were important details Jackson was missing that likely would undermine any case he might make.

But dissuading her son right now seemed impossible. Perhaps a better tactic would be to appear to go along with him until he came to understand the problems himself.

“Well then, the first step, I think, is to speak to our lawyer. We'll hire some investigators to find out all the details of the incident so we'll be fully armed with information before we show our hand.”

“Okay, that makes sense. Good!” Jackson answered. “Let's call him tomorrow.”

“Jackson, tomorrow is a holiday. Let's wait until Wednesday. You're going to have to be patient.”

“Okay. But Wednesday at the latest.”

Catherine couldn't resist warning her son one more time. “You realize that if this happens and you lose, it may endanger your current custody agreement. April may even decide to move and you will have lost your ability to stop her.”

That gave Jackson some pause. “Let's see what the lawyers think.”

  
“So you think I'd lose.”

“Doctor Avery, I'm sorry, but there's just no case to be made here.”

“He beat up two cops.”

“The police department not only dropped the charges, they gave him a commendation for saving an individual and helping them avoid an almost certain wrongful death suit.”

“He has PTSD.”

“Which he is being successfully treated for and, by the way, 5.2 million Americans suffer from every year. Her lawyer will ask if you think they should all lose custody of their children.”

“He has had two violent episodes in bars in the last year.”

“Neither of which has led to charges. And yes, his year has been busy. He saved two paramedics here last winter, shortly after saving two of his fellow Navy SEALs in action, for which he received the second highest military honor the country has to bestow. We also believe he led a classified covert mission to rescue more servicemen just before he returned here. That is unlikely to come up in court because of its classified nature but there's no guarantee they won't find a way to get it out there if they think they need it”

“There must be something in our favor.”

“A single disciplinary action on an otherwise spotless and stellar service record. The Navy will never give us the details on that and it couldn't have been too serious because they left him in the field, where, I might add, he led the team that evacuated the medical unit, including your ex wife, under heavy enemy fire. They would have a field day with that alone.”

“But he's dangerous.”

“Doctor Avery, they would be able to trot a hundred highly decorated military veterans out to say the only danger Sam Abbott represents is to enemies of the United States. They would also say they couldn't think of a better man to put their lives, and the lives of their loved ones, in the care of.”

“So, your advice?”

The two lawyers exchanged glances. What was it that Jackson Avery wasn't getting here? He had no case. Why the hardon to go after his wife for associating with Abbott? Had there been an affair in Jordan? They hadn't found anything to support that.

“Our advice is to forget about this whole idea. If, in fact, he gets himself into some kind of serious trouble then we can revisit it but for now, I'd keep the very idea to yourself.”

Jackson made no reply but looked uncomfortable.

Catherine, who had silently listened to the back and forth, guessed immediately what was bothering him. “You said something to April, didn't you?”

Which only made Jackson even more uncomfortable.

  
_Two Days Earlier..._

Abbott had just finished lugging the last of Harriet's baggage up the stairs to April's apartment when Jackson called.

“Hi.” April answered, still holding Harriet on her hip.

“We are just walking in the door this minute.” Abbott heard her say.

“What's the rush? Why don't you give us a chance to catch our breath?” he heard the irritation building in her voice.

In the end, April decided the path of least resistance was to give in. He had, finally, let Sam off for the weekend after all. So she supposed she owed him something for that. “Okay, we'll get her packed and ready to go. See you in a few minutes.”

Sam looked at her in surprise. “A few minutes? He's coming over now?”

April shrugged her shoulders, no easy feat given the wiggling load Harriet had become.

Fortunately, Harriet had plenty of clothes, so April was able to quickly pack clean things for her week with Jackson. She had no time to pump any breastmilk though, so she'd do that later and bring it to Jackson at the hospital. By the time Jackson knocked on the door, they had Harriet ready to go with her father.

“Hey.” he said.

“Hey.” she replied.

“Here she is.” April passed their daughter to him.

“Great. Thanks for jumping on that.”

“No problem.” April replied.

Abbott emerged from the bathroom. “Jackson.” he nodded.

“Abbott.” Jackson tilted his head in return. “So how was Moline?” he asked, shifting his gaze back to April.

“Good. Hot. Crowded. But good.” April answered, looking to Sam for his response.

Abbott seemed about to answer but Jackson cut him off. “Could you and I talk?' he asked his ex wife.

April looked at him questioningly. Deciding against a smartass reply that had come to mind, April instead nodded.

Jackson glanced at Abbott. “Uh..”

“I'm going, I'm going.” Sam replied.

“You don't have to.” April told him.

“No, it's okay. I need to go back to my place and get cleaned up anyway. I have a long shift starting early tomorrow and a bunch of laundry to do.” In spite of his wealthy upbringing, Sam's more recent lean years had brought him around to April's way of thinking regarding laundry, lattes, and living less extravagantly.

He gave her a quick kiss, which Jackson went to extraordinary measures not to watch, and made his way toward the door. “Jackson.” he again nodded.

Jackson nodded back silently this time.

“Call me later.” April called after the departing surgeon.

“Roger that.” he responded and disappeared out the door.

“So, whats up?” April asked her ex, as she turned to open the refrigerator to see if she had any water inside.

“You didn't tell me Abbott had another episode down in Portland. Don't you think I have a right to know when this guy, who is spending a lot of time with my daughter, is getting into fights, assaulting police officers, and landing himself in jail?”

April stood back up and closed the refrigerator door to stare at him.

“Okay, first of all, Sam did not have an _episode_ as you call it. There was an altercation, he saw a person in distress, and he tried to get the officer's attention, but they wouldn't listen, so instead of letting the man die, Sam took action and saved his life. Even the police acknowledged it was the right thing to do and thanked him, yes, Jackson, THANKED him.”

“April, he spent the night in jail! Was that to THANK him?”

“Yes, yes, he did. But only because the police had to sort out all the facts. But as soon as they did, they released him.”

“Funny how he always seems to get the benefit of the doubt. I was there, across the street, when he almost killed that guy. You and I know that he's dangerous. You were the one who wanted him diagnosed with PTSD, remember?”

April did remember. And it was a painful memory for her. And so was this conversation. Because, she hated to acknowledge, Jackson was making arguments that she had made to herself more than once. She tried to remain calm and collected.

“Jackson, he is being treated. Almost all of his symptoms have disappeared. He's got it all under control.”

She would have liked to say that Abbott had even quit drinking but she couldn't since she had discovered that he'd drank beer, with her father no less, in Moline over the weekend. That discovery had resulted in a tense discussion with her dad during which she had made crystal clear her unhappiness with his lack of cooperation. But if that discussion was tense, there was another word entirely to describe how she had torn into Sam about it. Already familiar with April's ability to get angry, he was now able to testify to her capability to let fly at a whole other level.

“Sure, April, he has it under control alright, until he doesn't. I've seen, and felt, what happens with his _control_ slips. He's dangerous, April, to Harriet and to you. I don't want to see you hurt. And I won't let Harriet be hurt.” Jackson answered.

April heard the hint of a warning in his voice. “What does that mean, exactly?”

“If you won't keep him away from her, I will.” he replied.

April's expression hardened, hiding the fear that had suddenly rose up in her chest. “If you are threatening me with that nonsense again, Jackson, I won't stop with a _temporary_ restraining order this time.” She prayed he didn't see through her bravado.

Jackson made no reply other than the angry stare he directed toward her.

Harriet grabbed Jackson's ear in her chubby little fist. “Dadda!” she squealed.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just thinking about the (almost) custody battle makes my stomach a little queasy. But looking back it was some of the most powerful, moving, stressful, amazing Japril-on-the-rocks that GA has ever delivered. Sarah and Jesse really did some amazing work in bringing that whole SL to life. s12 was just so crazy good.
> 
> Hope I'm not disappointing anyone in how hard I'm being on Jackson. If it makes you feel any better, I'd say this is the low point, although I can't promise it for sure.  
> All the 'spoiler-talk' about s14 seems to be that Jaggie is really on so that might be making me take it out on him a little bit more than I originally intended. Apologies for that.
> 
> Thanks for reading. There's a conclusion (or two) out on the horizon somewhere so hang in there, please. I really didn't mean to take up your (or my) whole summer with this.


	21. Risk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jackson's concern about Abbott's stability reignites April's own.  
> She seeks advice from friends she trusts but answers are hard to come by.  
> Abbott is finally tipped off that something is going on when an old friend makes it clear he won't allow her to be hurt.

The call he promised her left him mystified. The trip to Moline could not have gone any better. She had even surprised him by telling him she loved him. He had been restraining the urge to tell her the same for fear of scaring her off. Now he would look for the right opportunity to say it back. On the way home there only seemed to be one thing bothering her.

“So I save lives every day and it takes you telling them I dragged you from a burning vehicle for them to consider me heroic. You, on the other hand, just have to put on a uniform and the world thinks you're a hero.”

“Well, I think I've done a little more than put on a uniform. But I hear what you're saying.”

April shook her head. “I know you do. That's why you told the story in the first place. It's just frustrating. I'm a fricking trauma surgeon!”

“And I'm keeping the world safe from unsightly belly fat.” Abbott replied.

“Stop. You are doing a lot more serious stuff than that. There's the reconstruction, the burn treatment, the ...”

“Yeah, yeah, no need to repeat the whole Plastics rah rah. I just really miss trauma. Not much adrenaline in plastics.”

“Junkie.” she teased.

“You should talk.” Sam replied. “You were jonesing to get back into your ER before we even got to your parents”

April had made no reply to that.

But something must have happened in that _talk_ between April and Jackson because when he called her, she had been brief and distant. What kind of trouble her ex had managed to stir up he had no idea but something had happened that had changed her mood.

Well, he wouldn't worry too much about it tonight. He would see her the next day at the hospital and perhaps find out what was going on.

  
  


Once Jackson left with Harriet, April changed her mind about water and instead opened a bottle of wine. Was he really contemplating going into family court? Could he be successful? It was her worst nightmare. They had promised each other not to fight. Now he was threatening to break that promise. But was he right? Was Abbott a danger to their daughter? Was she blind to it because of her history with Sam and her feelings for him? Was she fooling herself thinking because he was now being treated that he was already safe?

She was halfway through the bottle when she realized she needed to talk to someone about this. She needed someone on the outside to tell her if she was taking huge risks.

“Arizona?”

“Hi, April, what's up?”

“Can I come over? I really need to talk.”

“Of course. I'll open a bottle of wine.” the pediatric surgeon told her.

“Way ahead of you, sister.”

  
  


April finished describing her conversation with Jackson to Arizona, who took a sip, more a gulp, of her Chardonnay.

“Well?” prompted April, when her friend still hadn't spoken.

Arizona shrugged her shoulders. “April, I don't know. He might be serious about trying the custody route again. Or he might not. He might really feel that Sam is dangerous or it might simply be an excuse to cause you both more trouble.”

“Why? Why would he do that? He has Maggie.” April paced back and forth in the kitchen.

“Uh, not according to the latest.” Arizona replied.

“What?”

“Apparently Maggie broke it off two days ago.”

“Why would she do that?”

Arizona merely broke eye contact and took a long, slow sip of her wine. April understood immediately.

“What? No. That's impossible. It can't have anything to do with me.”

“Rumor has it that Maggie was heard telling Amelia that Jackson was still in love with you.”

April's head was spinning. “What? Wh..no, ughh. That's not possible.”

“Well, they are definitely done. They couldn't sit far enough from each other in the cafeteria today.”

“This makes no sense. If that were true, the absolute worst thing he could do would be to make trouble for me about custody of Harriet.”

“Yeah, well, we don't always think clearly or make the best decisions when feelings are involved, do we?”

April frowned at her friend. “Why did that sound like a knock against me?”

“I'm talking about all of us, April. Me too. And you must admit, you and Jackson have a history of inflicting unintentional damage on each other.”

“Okay, granted, that's true. But I still don't believe he feels anything for me. And now I still have this threat hanging over me, regardless of his motives.”

April stopped and took a sip of her wine. “Arizona, do you think Sam is dangerous?”

“April, I hardly know him. And I know squat about PTSD. You don't see too much of that in Peds.”

April acknowledged Arizona's attempt at humor with a sideways glance and pursed lips.

“The question, I think, is do you think he's dangerous?” Arizona finished.

“I don't know. Yes. No. Maybe. I just don't know.”

“Then find someone who does.” counseled the pediatric surgeon.

  
  


The following day, April appeared at Bailey's office door. “Chief, do you have a minute?”

“Kepner.” Bailey nodded to one of the chairs in front of her desk. “You have one minute. What do you need?”

“I was hoping you could put me in touch with the doctor at Bauer that is treating Abbott's PTSD.”

Bailey looked up from her paperwork strewn desk. “Well, you can quit hoping because that isn't going to happen. You do know there are privacy laws, don't you?”

“But Chief, I won't ask for any details about his treatment.”

“Then why do you need this information?”

“I just have some questions about PTSD.'

“That's what Google is for. Now is there anything else?'

April hesitated, “I do have one specific question about Sam.”

“Kepner, I'm warning you...”

“Is Abbott dangerous?” April blurted out.

Bailey looked at April for a long moment. The petite trauma surgeon stood uncomfortably biting her lower lip.

“April, has he hurt you?” Bailey asked quietly. “Or Harriet?”

“What? No, no, nothing like that. I just... I just need to know if his PTSD makes him dangerous.” April shifted from foot to foot.

Bailey sat back in her chair, her expression changing from concern to exasperation. “Kepner, as a doctor you should know that everyone reacts differently to conditions like PTSD. As a member of my staff you should also know that if I were to receive any indication that Sam Abbott was a danger to my people or my patients he would be removed immediately. That is all I will say on the subject. Now, I believe we are paying you to do a job in this hospital, am I correct?”

April nodded.

“Then I suggest you go do it.” concluded Bailey.

April beat a speedy retreat..

But Bailey did not return to her paperwork right away. What had prompted that, she wondered? She smelled trouble but was uncertain as to what kind. She would make it her mission to get to the bottom of it though.

  
  


Well, that didn't go very well, April thought. All that accomplished was to stir Bailey up, not something very desirable in these circumstances. Down the hall the elevator doors were opening and she spotted Abbott and Ben getting off. April quickly ducked into the nearby nurses station and pretended to look for something in the bottom cabinet. Abbott and Warren walked by, deep in discussion about a patient, she guessed, and never saw her.

Breathing a sigh of relief, she resumed making her way back to the ER. Already accustomed to avoiding Jackson, she found dodging Abbott as well to be both challenging and exhausting. But she had no desire to meet up with either of them. She was terrible at hiding her thoughts and emotions and right now she wished to avoid any sharing of either. Like Jackson before him, Sam had developed the ability to tell when she had something on her mind and this particular concern was better left undiscussed for the present.

But just because April didn't want the issue discussed, it didn't mean it wasn't being discussed. This she found out when Alex Karev showed up in the ER to do a pediatric consult. Once he had finished he walked with April toward the pit. “Are you okay?” he asked.

“What? Yes, I'm fine.”

“He hasn't hit you, or hurt you, or the kid?”

“What? What are you talking about?”

“Abbott. Has he hurt you or threatened you?”

“No, Alex, none of those things. Where is this coming from?”

“Arizona said you talked to her about Abbott being dangerous.” Alex admitted.

“Of course! Arizona. Might as well talk to both of you at the same time so I don't have to repeat myself. Abbott has not hurt or threatened me or Harriet. Jackson told me he thinks Abbott is dangerous because of his PTSD. He kind of made some veiled threats to make trouble about Sam being around Harriet by going to family court. I'm just trying to find out if having PTSD makes Abbott any riskier to have around than anybody else.” April explained.

“So basically to see if Avery has a case.”

“And whether his concern is legitimate or not.”

“And if it is?” asked Alex.

“Then I'll have a difficult decision to make.” answered April.

Alex exhaled. “Sounds like a crap situation no matter what the answer is.”

“Right?” agreed April. She felt like she was caught between Jackson and Sam without a good alternative for avoiding trouble with either.

“Look, if you need me for anything...”

“Thanks, Alex.”

Well, thought April, as Alex returned to Peds, if Arizona can restrain herself from talking about April's dilemma with anyone else, it can still be contained. But, it turned out she was fooling herself.

  
  


“Hunt, a word please.”

“Sure, Bailey, what's up?”

“I need to ask you a question and I need this conversation to stay confidential.”

“Of course.” Hunt answered, wondering what the diminutive Chief had in mind.

“In your experience, is it common for soldiers suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome to be prone to violence?”

Owen, of course, knew immediately who this conversation was about. “Did Abbott hurt April?”

Bailey, remembering a similar reaction on her own part, remained calm. “No he has not. Again, is it likely that a soldier such as Abbott, may become violent or dangerous, as a result of his PTSD?”

Owen mulled the question over. There was no simple answer to this. “Every man or woman reacts differently to stress. With PTSD there are a million factors and no way to predict how a particular individual will react to a particular situation.”

“So you're saying there's no way to know if he's likely to become violent?”

“Bailey, every one of us has experienced PTSD to some degree or another. After the shooting, we all suffered through it. Some of us did better than others.” They both remembered Cristina laying on the floor of the OR, paralyzed. “I will say this. Being a soldier is a violent profession. Abbott has seen and done things unimaginable by most of us. So have I, to a much lesser extent. I can't tell you for sure that that makes me more dangerous now than Cristina, or Meredith, or you, or April Kepner. Maybe I have been all along even and the PTSD has nothing to do with it. I don't know. I just don't know.”

Bailey looked up at the tall trauma surgeon. She hadn't really expected any other answer but it was good to get the perspective of another veteran who had experienced their own tribulations with PTSD.

“Thank you, Owen. I appreciate your candor, and your confidentiality.” It never hurt to remind people that some conversations aren't meant for general public consumption.

  
  


Abbott stepped into the Peds ward. “Derma consult?” he called.

“Over here.” answered Alex Karev.

Abbott stepped over to where the Peds surgeon was examining a newborn infant.

“See the rash? I just need to confirm ETN and not staphylococcal impetigo or herpes simplex.”

“Give me the bullet.” Sam prompted Deluca, who was serving his Peds rotation”

“Three day old male. 24 hour history of small white to yellow papules and pustules surrounded by blotchy, inflamed skin. Lesions seen on his face, trunk, and extremities.”

“Mother?”

“Thirty years old, healthy, vaginal birth with no complications. No meds during or after pregnancy”

Abbott looked closely at the soles of the infants feet and his palms.

“Healthy, aside from the rash?”

“As can be.” answered Alex.

“Then I would concur that we're looking at Erythema Toxicum Neonatorum. It should resolve in five to seven days. I can do a Wright smear if you want to be absolutely sure? But this looks like pretty typical ETN.”

“I'm good with it. Just wanted a second set of eyes on it to be sure.”

“Sure, no problem. Let me know if you need anything else.” Sam said, turning to go.

“Hey, there is one more thing. Deluca, find yourself elsewhere.” Alex told his intern.

Abbott stopped and turned back toward Alex.

“I wanted to talk to you, man to man.” Alex told him.

“Man to man?” repeated Abbott, extremely puzzled. Karev hadn't said more than two words to him in his entire time at Grey Sloan.

“I've been friends with April Kepner for a long time.”

“I'm aware.” answered Sam.

“And I haven't always been a good friend to her but I'm trying to change that now.”

Sam was as puzzled as ever. “I'm sure she appreciates that.” he replied.

“I don't want to see her hurt. Not in any way. You understand?”

“Uh, no, not really.”

“Look, I know you're a war hero and can kill people with your bare hands and all but I just want you to know that April has friends here. And if you do anything to hurt her, you'll have to deal with me. And I've been around the block a time or two so don't think I'm just blowing smoke up your ass when I say that.”

By now Abbott was too surprised and puzzled to be able to form much of a reply. As Alex walked away all he could think of to say was “Good talk.” to the Peds surgeon's back. Something was obviously going on here but he couldn't for the life of him figure out what it was. Whatever it was, he reasoned, April was somewhere near the center of it. Then it occurred to him. He hadn't seen April all day long. Was that a coincidence or did it have something to do with Alex's odd proclamation? He had long ago learned to mistrust coincidence so he decided he'd better visit the ER to find April and get some answers.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know I routinely beg for comments every chapter but I'd really really really like to know how you feel about this situation? I've tried very hard to make it muddled and complex and without a clear solution. Jackson is either truly concerned for April and Harriet's well being, or still intent on causing as much trouble for her as possible, or both. April is caught in the middle, fearing legal action but unsure herself whether Sam, who she has come to love, might be a ticking time bomb that could harm her daughter. And now even Bailey has to consider the risk that Abbott may lose control and do damage to her staff or patients. Meanwhile Abbott himself is just getting hints that something is amiss and really has no way to prove to anyone that he isn't dangerous. Hoping this tangled web works for you. Thanks for reading.


	22. Conversations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> April has two conversations she had been dreading. And she is surprised by the way they each turn out.

There were three people April was trying to avoid running into that day; Sam, because she wasn't ready to have that conversation with him yet; Jackson, because she was afraid that he would raise the issue with her again and possibly threaten her with legal action; and the other Doctor Avery, because the very specter of a custody battle brought up memories of Catherine that made her stomach do backflips and her skin crawl. Three quarters of the way through the day her luck ran out.

“April.” She heard her name called and knew immediately who had called it. Cue the backflips.

Turning, she found Catherine Avery coming toward her and could see no avenue of escape.

“Catherine.” she forced a smile and hoped it would pass as believable.

“Sweetheart, we need to talk.”

“Right now?” April asked.

Catherine looked around the ER. All was quiet. “This seems as good a time as any.” she answered.

April, not seeing a way to avoid it, gave in. “Of course, just let me finish updating the contact sheet and I'll be right with you.”

When she had taken as much time as possible peering at the sheet, and her guilty prayer for a multi-car MVC gone unanswered, she put her iPad aside and told her ex mother-in-law she was ready for her. They moved into a nearby conference room and Catherine closed the door behind them.

Bidding April to sit, Catherine asked her “April, has Jackson spoken with you in the last few days?”

April, having learned her lesson from previous dealings with her, decided that her best bet was to pretend ignorance of anything Jackson or Catherine might be up to. “No, not really. He picked up Harriet last night but we didn't really have an opportunity to talk. Why?”

“Because I want to warn you. It is in his head that your Doctor Abbott might be a danger to you and to Harriet and he is exploring legal options that I fear will only make matters worse between you.”

April was shocked. The last thing she expected was Catherine Avery tipping her off on Jackson's plans. She fought off the urge to tell Catherine that Jackson had already spoken to her. Keep to the strategy, she told herself. There is no telling what Catherine Avery's motives are.

“What? Why would he think that? Why would he do that?”

“Jackson apparently found out about some incident in Portland and is convinced that Abbott's PTSD makes him unstable and a danger to be around. He won't listen to reason and insisted on a meeting with our legal team to explore his options.”

April had no need to pretend to be stunned. Catherine was telling her that Jackson had gone so far as to consult lawyers. This was more serious than she imagined.

Catherine went on, “Now, I believe he has some sincere concerns for you and Harriet but I also believe some of this is due to his realization that he's made some very poor decisions lately. Taking up with that Pierce woman, letting his relationship with you fall apart, it's all piling up on him right now, not that it's any excuse.”

“I did hear that he and Maggie broke up recently.” April volunteered. She had learned that within minutes of arriving for work this morning.

“Yes, as if that ever had a chance. I like Pierce well enough but she and Jackson... there was never any real...”

“Chemistry?” suggested April.

“Chemistry, exactly. Anyway, once Jackson came to his senses about that, and also realized that you had moved on with your Doctor Abbott, well let's just say that made him more receptive to the PTSD threat.”

April couldn't believe Catherine was telling her all this. “Catherine, I appreciate your candor but, why are you telling me all this?”

“April, I love my son. You know that. But in this case he is dead wrong. The last thing I want to see is more damage to your relationship. You may not believe this but I consider you family. And Harriet should never be caught in the middle between you. April, I've seen firsthand what that is like and it doesn't do anyone any good. Now it may have taken me awhile longer than it should to get there,” Catherine could read April's expressions easily. She too remembered the trouble she'd caused. “but I'm there now and willing to do whatever it takes to keep things from getting worse.”

More than ever April wanted to come clean with Catherine about her conversation with Jackson and her own concerns and thoughts, but as sincere as she seemed to be, April reminded herself to remain cautious.

“I'm not really sure what I should do with this information now.”

“This is exactly why I'm here talking to you. First, I don't want you to be caught off guard if he does say anything. And second, to reassure you that he won't get far.”

This got April's attention “He won't?”

“No, by this time tomorrow our legal team will have convinced him he doesn't have a legal leg to stand on.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“Because, sweetheart, our legal team is MY legal team.” Catherine smiled.

Oh, God, I hope she is being on the level with this, thought April.

A short time later she received a text from Jackson asking if she might be willing to pick up Harriet for the night so he could take advantage of tickets that had suddenly fallen into his lap. She readily assented, figuring any favors she rendered might possibly buy her some slack in any disputes that may arise.

  
  


As it happened, Abbott too, was also unexpectedly waylaid on his way to the ER. The elevator doors opened on the main floor but as he was about to step out, he found his way blocked by Owen Hunt, who immediately hit the button to send the elevator back up.

“Uh..” Abbott began.

“I'll talk, you listen.” Hunt told him. “If I get even a whiff of you hurting Kepner or her daughter...”

“What?” exclaimed the incredulous Abbott.

“You're listening, remember? I don't give a damn whether it's PTSD or lack of sleep, or just a bad mood, you cause any pain for Kepner and you will find yourself wishing you were anywhere but here. Are we clear?” demanded Hunt.

Abbott found himself a little weary of these warnings about hurting April and Harriet, as if he would ever do that. It was comforting to him that April had so much support but he couldn't imagine why he was the focus of this campaign to warn dire consequences if she was to be hurt.

It was that weariness that led him to answer Hunt's challenge by stepping forward. Abbott jabbed him in the chest with his index finger. Hunt, realizing a little late that perhaps a Navy SEAL wasn't likely to be easily intimidated, retreated a step. “I am perfectly clear, Doctor Hunt, that April and Harriet are not to be hurt.”

He stepped forward and jabbed again. “I am not clear though on why I am being warned against hurting her. I never would and, in fact, …,” the elevator stopped on Three and the doors opened.

Abbott stepped forward and jabbed one last time. Hunt was forced to retreat out of the elevator.

“Let me be perfectly clear, if anyone were to hurt April or Harriet, they would have to deal with me, and it wouldn't be pleasant.”

The elevator door closed. Abbott pressed the button to return to the Main floor, leaving Hunt standing on the third floor with a surprised group of nurses and interns. “He prefers to ride the elevator alone.” he explained to them.

  
  


April had just returned to the ER when Abbott stepped off the elevator and made his way toward her. She took a deep breath.

“April, you have any idea why every dude in this hospital wants to get up in my grill and warn me not to hurt you and Harri?”

This was not the way April expected this conversation to begin. “What?” her face crinkled in surprise.

“First Karev ambushes me during a peds consult, then Hunt hijacks my elevator. What the hell is going on?”

“Hunt?” How the heck did Hunt get involved? April hadn't gotten to him yet but he was on her list.

Abbott paused, looking at her carefully. “Why aren't you asking about Karev?” he wondered aloud. The expression on April's face couldn't have done more to advertise her guilt.

“Why do I get the impression you know why all this is happening but haven't seen fit to let me in on it?” he asked her.

“Uh, well, I've been meaning to talk to you about it. There just hasn't been the opportunity.” April fudged the truth a little.

“Oh really?” Apparently April was too transparent to convince him.

“And this isn't the place for this conversation either.”

“Oh, so this is a _conversation_ ”?

“But not for here and not for right now.”

“When then? Because I'm getting tired of facing off with every doctor I meet in the hospital today.”

“How about tonight? I'll make us dinner. We can talk.” April answered.

Now alerted, Abbott squinted at her, trying perhaps to ascertain the seriousness of the threat. He wished he knew whether he would be walking into a meeting with friendlies or an ambush. “Okay.” he answered simply.

  
  


By the time he knocked on April's door, Abbott had a good three hours to think about the day's strange events and guess at what this conversation was about. Based on Owen mentioning it, he had reached the conclusion that it had something to do with April's obsessive worrying about his PTSD, though he couldn't guess at what could have triggered it so suddenly and caused her to seemingly involve everyone at the hospital.

Even more alarming it seemed to now be manifesting as a threat to her and Harriet's safety. He wracked his brain trying to think of something he'd said or did in Moline that could have raised that sort of fear but had come up empty.

On his way out of the hospital he had seen April and Hunt sitting on a bench outside the hospital deep in conversation but he had no way of knowing if that was a result of his confronting April or just another in a series of huddles regarding his fitness to be around Harriet and her mother.

To be on the safe side, he resisted the urge to show up with a bottle of wine for her. The fewer associations to PTSD the better, he thought.

April opened her door wearing an apron and stepped aside to beckon him inside without a word. Not a particularly optimistic start, he thought.

He showed her his empty hands. “Look, no wine.” he pointed out, lest she should miss it, then cursed himself for totally defeating the purpose of not bringing it. Pull yourself together Abbott, he told himself. But he realized that he was actually very nervous, an extremely rare condition for him.

April looked at him quizzically. Had he guessed what was on her mind? No matter, she thought, there was no dancing around it anyway.

“So, it smells good in here.” Abbott said, trying to fill the silence.

April finally spoke. “I hope you won't mind, I'm trying a new recipe on you tonight, Baked Orange Chicken and Brown Rice.”

“Sounds as good as it smells.” Abbott replied.

“Lets hope it tastes good” April finally cracked a smile.

“Well, you've never let me down yet.” he answered. But April's smile faded. She wasn't at all sure he would feel that way by the end of the evening.

“Well, your timing is good. It's almost ready. Would you mind setting the table for us?”

“Sure, I think I can handle that.” he replied.

Bringing the dishes and silverware to the table, he found Harriet already there in her highchair, pushing peas around the tray, and everywhere else. “Hi Harri. How bout those peas, huh? Pretty fun stuff.”

Harriet shrieked and banged the plastic tray with such force all the uncrushed peas left on it jumped and danced. Sam laughed.

“Are you encouraging my daughter in her mess making?” April asked, bringing a serving bowl to set on the table.

Sam laughed. “Not sure she needs much encouragement. She's already gone to town on those peas, haven't you, sweetie?” he directed the last toward the child in the highchair. Harriet shrieked and smiled broadly, repeating her efforts to free her peas from the confines of gravity.

All he has to do is look at her and she reacts to him, thought April, unable to keep a smile from her lips as well. Apparently, she realized suddenly, April wasn't the only Kepner in Seattle that loved Sam Abbott.

In her mind, April glimpsed the times she walked in the door to find Harriet climbing on Sam while he read his case studies, all the while keeping a protective hand ready to catch her should she fall; or calling her a _stinkpot,_ which never failed to make her laugh, as he changed her diaper; and of herself waking up in the middle of the night only to find that he had heard Harriet stirring and was rocking her as he read to her, despite having just come off an exhausting shift at the hospital.

She knew it didn't prove anything with regards to his PTSD. What it did prove, she realized, was that when it came to Harriet, as in most things, Sam Abbott was all in. Could she ask for more than that? The answer, obviously, was no.

“I am such an idiot.” she muttered to herself.

“What? Did you say something?” Sam asked her. He had a pea smashed against his cheek, courtesy of Miss Kepner-Avery.

Miss K-A's mother reached out and wiped it off with her index finger, smiling at him. “That's what you get for applauding her act. Her encores are pretty spectacular.”

“Don't I know it. Well, go big or go home, I always say. Right, Harri?”

Another thump to her tray confirmed Harriet's wholehearted agreement.

“Ugh! You know I hate it when you call her that.” April grimaced.

“Just makes it more fun.” Sam replied to April's failed attempt at consternation.

He bent down to bring himself into range for another pea pasting and Harriet squealed anew.

  
  


Two hours later, dinner was done, as were the dishes, and Harriet was asleep in her crib. April came out of Harriet's room and into the kitchen to find Sam sitting on the couch and catching up on email on his phone.

“Hey, Hannah says you owe her a call.” he told her.

“I know. It's just been so busy. Plus I get on with her and before I know it two hours of my life are gone. Pfft!” she answered, folding herself onto the cushion next to him.

“Funny, she says the same thing about you. It must be a girl thing because when I call her it never lasts more than ten minutes”

“Uh huh.” April answered. “Maybe it's not a _girl_ thing. Maybe I'm just far more interesting than you are.”

“No doubt about that.” conceded Abbott. “But speaking of speaking, when are we having this _conversation_ you invited me here to have?”

April's smile faded and she lifted herself off the couch again to make her way to the kitchen. “You want some water?” she asked.

She realized he was following her when she heard his voice behind her. “You know it doesn't bode well when you retreat before the battle even begins.”

“Battle? I'm not planning on being in any battles. I'm just getting some water.”

“Uh huh. Maybe you want me to fire the first shot then?”

“Can we please quit with the military metaphors?”, April requested. “It's not helping the with the tone.”

“Fair enough.” Sam acknowledged, “Perhaps you'd like me to kick off the conversation then?”

“Knock yourself out.” she answered, wondering why he was so anxious to get into this.

“Okay, for starters, why don't you tell me why the hell Hunt and Karev are warning me about hurting you? Or hurting Harriet? Why would they do that?” Abbott's eyes flashed and April understood he was upset about this. So that's why he wanted to get into this. He's been sitting on this all day. That's bad.

“Yes, I can explain that, at least I think I can. But you have to promise not to get mad about it.”

“What? I'm already mad about it. Why wouldn't I be? The only way that happens is if someone thinks I might hurt you. Does someone think that?”

“Yes. Someone thinks that. But ...”

“Wait. Do you think that? April?”

“No, not really. Not anymore.” she answered, aware that she had to be careful and wasn't doing a great job at it.

Sam's eyes widened. “Not anymore? But you did? You thought I was a danger to you? To Harriet?”

April heard the hurt in his voice and knew she had wounded him more deeply than any enemy ever had.

“Sam, please, let me explain.”

“By all means, explain.”

In a halting voice, April explained how Jackson had learned of the incident in Portland and confronted her with the possibility that Abbott was dangerous because of his PTSD. She told him about the veiled threat to start some sort of legal proceeding, possibly a custody battle, and how much that had frightened her. She described how she sought advice from Arizona and information from Bailey and her guesses regarding how Karev got involved and her conversation with Owen who revealed that Bailey had come to him. She was sorry, she told him, that it had spread at the hospital and caught him off-guard.

He looked at her incredulously. “You think that's why I'm upset? Because of Hunt and Karev?”

“It's not?”

“April, I'm upset that you would think, for even a second, that I could hurt you or your child.”

“But that's because of the PTSD. I know you aren't violent by nature.”

Abbott threw up his hands. “April, for God sakes, even with the PTSD, I would never do that. And I've been working hard to put that behind me. And it's paid off. My counselor says I'm doing great. He says as long as I don't return to combat, or become a police officer or something like that, I'll be fine.”

“See, that's what I mean when I say I'm not scared of it any more.” April cried.

“And you overcame this fear when?” he asked.

“Tonight. When I saw you with Harriet tonight I knew she would always be safe with you.”

“So, up to an hour ago you were worried I might hurt you or her?”

“I had a concern. Worried is too strong of a word.”

“A concern that drove you to talk to Robbins and Bailey instead of coming to me.”

“Sam, you're making too much out of this.” April suddenly had the feeling that she had stumbled into something much more serious than she had anticipated.

“Am I though? April have I ever given you a reason to fear me, to think I might hurt you?” he demanded. He was rocked by her reply.

“Once.” she answered. “Only one time.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Jordan, the day Murphy died.” she replied quietly.

“You thought..?”

“I thought you might. You blamed me for his death, remember?” A tear traced its way down her cheek.

“But I never would have. I didn't and never would have.” he whispered. “And I was wrong to blame you. I shouldn't have. I'm so sorry for that.” Unconsciously he reached for her and wiped away her tear.

“I know. But for a moment, I wasn't sure. I thought maybe you were angry enough. I was scared.”

“April, you can't fear me and love me at the same time. They can't go together. You know that, right?”

“I know. Sam, I know.” April answered. “I let Jackson scare me. I shouldn't have and I'm sorry. I do love you. I know you'd never hurt us.”

Sam sighed and looked away. When he turned to meet her eyes again, she saw the anger had been replaced by something else, but she wasn't sure what.

“April, Jackson was right about one thing. I am a fighter. And I'm willing to fight for you. But this thing where Jackson can throw a grenade at us any time he wants...well, I just can't fight that. I won't fight that.”

“What? No. He can't.” April protested, but Sam held up his hand to cut her off.

“He just did. Don't you see, he knows all your weak spots, all the right buttons to push.”

“No. Okay, yes, sure, he knows me and he knows what to say, but I won't let him shake me up again. I'll be ready next time...”

Sam shook his head. “I'm afraid I don't believe that, April.”

April suddenly felt sick to her stomach.

“Until you and Jackson straighten your shit out, I can't afford to get in any deeper with you.” he declared.

“But..” April stammered.

“I'm sorry.”

  
  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh oh, does April's chance for happiness depend once again on settling issues between Jackson and herself? Has that ever been possible?


	23. Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Four confessions and an apology make up this chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gotta admit. I was a bit disappointed that no one called out or commented on my (self described) cleverness at having Catherine and April discuss the lack of chemistry between Jackson and Maggie in the last chapter. Don't you people read Tumblr?? :-) Or maybe nobody's reading this :-(  
> Regardless, despite all indications to the contrary, we are about to enter the final phase of this story (wild cheering breaks out).  
> But a few more chapters remain, which hopefully I'll get written and done with by the time S14 premieres, eventually restoring Japril to their rightful happiness (we all hope).  
> Meanwhile, thanks for sticking with this thing and, for those that comment, my deepest gratitude.

Ben Warren was going over a patient's chart with Jackson when Abbott walked into the lab.

“Warren, give us a minute, please.” Sam asked the resident.

Ben looked at Jackson, who nodded slightly. “Okay, I'll go grab some coffee and meet you for rounds in ten, then.” Without waiting for an answer, Warren exited the lab.

Abbott focused his attention on Jackson. “I think you know what I want to talk about.”

“Yes,” answered Jackson, “I suppose I do.”

“You know I'm not a danger to either of them.”

“Do I though?” Jackson retorted. “I was there when you went off on that dude in the bar, remember? I was the guy you threw halfway across the bar and didn't even remember doing it later.”

“That was almost a year ago. I've been getting treatment and even the experts agree I'm practically symptom free now.”

“ _Practically_? That's not nearly enough when the safety of my daughter and April is involved.”

“Yeah, well I wonder if it would be if you weren't so desperate to break April and I up and try to get back with her yourself?” Abbott responded.

“You can wonder all you want, I don't have to prove anything to you.” Jackson answered angrily.

“And you think threatening April about Harriet is going to help you? It will just make it worse.”

“Thanks so much for your advice. In a couple of hours I'll have a better idea what my options are in that regard.”

“Let me save you the suspense. You don't have a case. You don't think I have resources too? All you're doing is driving April farther away from you. Even if you torpedo me, you'll sink yourself in the process.”

“Maybe I'm willing to take that chance.” Jackson answered.

“Now who's putting Harriet at risk?” Abbott challenged.

“What's that supposed to mean?” Jackson asked.

“Is it good for Harriet if you fight April in court? Is it good for Harriet if you damage your relationship with April beyond repair?”

Jackson didn't respond to the SEAL. Regardless of what happened between Abbott and April, the likelihood was that April would end up hating Jackson for stirring up this trouble. Which was exactly the outcome Jackson most feared. And Abbott was right, the consequences for Harriet would inevitably be devastating.

Abbott shook his head. Thinking he had, as he fully expected, failed to get through to Jackson, he turned to leave. He stopped when he heard Jackson say “I still love her.”

Sam sighed and looked up at the ceiling. “I know you do.”

“You do too.” Jackson stated.

“I do. I really do.” admitted Abbott.

“You think you're better for her.”

“Yes, I do.”

“And I think I am.” Jackson responded.

“I would say you have a funny way of showing it.” Abbott answered.

“I've got to try.”

“I know that to.” Sam answered, and he left the Jackson sitting in the lab wondering once again if he had a prayer for getting what he wanted.

  


Jackson and Warren finished rounding on their patients. “I suppose you're wondering what that was all about with Abbott this morning?”

“Not my business.” answered Ben, not at all interested in being drawn any further into any drama that may be going on between his coworkers.

Jackson apparently didn't pay attention to his response. “Remember what happened in the bar? I'm just worried that Abbott will lose control again and hurt April or Harriet, since he's spending so much time around them.”

“You think he'd hurt them? Because of his PTSD?”

“Yes. You remember how crazy that was. He's dangerous.”

“Hmmm.” was all Ben said in reply.

“What was that? Hmmm?” asked Jackson, paying attention this time.

“Well, it's just that it seems like everyone we know has had some sort of PTSD at some point or another. I'm just not sure he's any more dangerous that any of the rest of us.”

“What's that mean?”

“Well, take Hunt for instance. He had a bad case of PTSD. But you have no problem leaving Harriet with him. And you're right to do it, he's no danger to her.”

“But Hunt is Hunt. Abbott is different.”

“Okay, maybe, but what about you?”

“Me? What?”

“Jackson, look, I was the one who patched up your arm after you broke up Samuel's nursery, remember?”

“What are you saying?”

“Just that someone could point to that day and say you're dangerous too.”

“That's ridiculous!” Jackson protested.

“If you say so.” agreed Ben.

“Why am I even talking to you about this?” Jackson asked, leaving Ben standing at the nurses station.

  


An hour later, what his lawyers told him made his bad day even worse.

Afterwards, Jackson and his mother sat on a bench drinking coffee. “What do I do now?” he asked.

“Are you really asking me?” Catherine inquired.

“No.” he answered. “Yes.” he surrendered.

“I think you start by talking to April. Apologize for threatening her. Convince her that your concern was for her and Harriet but let her know that you trust her judgment. She is smart and reasonable and wants the best for Harriet as well as you do. She'll forgive you.” Catherine advised.

Jackson stared off into the distance. His mother knew him well. She guessed he had been asking a different question. It was one with no easy answer.

“You want her back, don't you?” she asked him.

“Yes.” he replied after a moment.

“Oh, Jackson, I'm afraid that isn't likely to happen, baby.”

He shook his head. “I can't accept that. How can I accept that?”

Catherine felt the pain of his helplessness but in this case knew it would do no good to encourage him in something she believed hopeless. “You accept it because that is the way it is. You accept it because you are an Avery and we change what we can and accept what we can't and move forward in any case.”

“But I love her. And she might still love me.” he protested desperately.

“I know you do, Jackson, but she has moved on. She moved on after you moved on. No woman wants to be the second choice. I guarantee you that April Kepner doesn't. And she has found another man who is wholly devoted to her.”

“Just a few months ago we were together in Montana.”

“But then you chose Maggie Pierce.”

Catherine could see her son regretted his choices. And even though she believed his chances at winning April back were nil, she couldn't resist offering him a few crumbs of encouragement. “The only chance you have of winning her back is to be honest with her. Tell April how you feel. Tell her how you made a terrible mistake. But don't expect her to come running back to you.”

“Then why do it?” Jackson asked.

“Because you'll also promise to stop interfering and doing things that make her life or her Navy friend's life difficult.”

“How does this help me?”

“It allows you to get back to being what won her heart in the first place, her friend. And if you can do that, then maybe, if things don't pan out for her with her other friend, you'll be in a good position to get back into her life.” Catherine explained.

“And if things do work out for her and Abbott?”

“Then you accept that there are consequences to the choices you've made but at least Harriet will have two parents in her life that won't use her as a weapon against each other.”

Jackson contemplated what his mother was saying. He thought it may be the wisest advice she'd ever given him. There was no sugarcoating it, the odds were long against him. But he was an Avery. He could do this.

Couldn't he?

  


April was waiting Friday evening when Jackson arrived at daycare to pick up Harriet.

“Uh, did I get my wires crossed? I thought I was picking her up today?” he said when he saw her standing there.

“You are.” she replied. “But first, you and I are going to have a chat.” She grabbed him by the arm and guided him to an empty conference room nearby.

“What's up?” Jackson asked, though he thought he could guess what was on her mind.

“We are going to clear some things up between us.” April stated flatly.

“This about Abbott?” he asked.

“No, its about you and I.” she answered.

“Is there a you and I?” he inquired.

“There will always be some kind of you and I, if only because of Harriet. Right now, the prospects for a good you and I are looking pretty dismal. I'd like to do something about that. How about you?”

“Of course, of course I want a good relationship with you.” he replied.

“Then why are you doing such stupid stuff that only makes that less and less likely?”

“So this IS about Abbott.”

“This is about us. Sam just happens to be bearing the brunt of it right now. But if I was seeing someone else, it would still be the same story, wouldn't it?”

Jackson didn't answer. He knew April would see through any lies or attempted evasion on his part. She always could. “Maybe.” he allowed.

“Why? Don't you want me to be happy?” she asked.

“Of course I do.” he answered, looking at his feet.

April simply shook her head. “How does sabotaging me help me to be happy?”

Thinking about what his mother had counseled earlier that day, Jackson decided to put his cards on the table. “April, I want you to be happy with me.”

April stared disbelieving at her ex-husband.

“April, I know I screwed up. I know I don't deserve any more chances with you. I know you've moved on. But, I just can't help feeling that maybe, in spite of all that, there might still be a chance for us. That maybe some small part of you still loves me enough to try one more time.” the words spilled out from Jackson all in a hurry, as though afraid of being caught and stuffed back into some locked away space.

“Jackson...” April started.

He could see from her expression that whatever she was going to say wasn't what he wanted to hear.

“Please don't answer right away. Just think about it, okay? It just hasn't been any good since you moved out. I just... I just need you to feel right. I lost sight of that, I know, but it's crystal clear to me now. I need you, April.”

“How can you say that? Just a few months ago it was Maggie that you needed. Even though a few weeks before that we slept together in Montana.”

“I know, I know. I made a mistake. I got confused. I got scared. I didn't want to get hurt again. I didn't want you to get hurt again.”

“Didn't want me to get hurt?” April asked incredulously. “You could hardly have hurt me worse than by sleeping with me in Montana, then coming back and running into the arms of another woman. Did you give any thought to what sleeping with you meant to me? That I might believe it meant that we were getting back together? Or did you think I was just horny and looking to get laid?”

Jackson shook his head. “April, I know you better than that. Of course I realized how important that was to you. It was important to me too. But I just wasn't sure we should get back together, then. I am now.”

“Oh really, because you tried Maggie and that didn't quite work out for you?” April was really angry now. Jackson realized it and knew he had to reel this in before he did any more damage. What did his mother say he should do?

“April, I'm so so sorry. I know it looks that way and I just want you to know that it really wasn't. I messed up. I was confused about how I felt, about you, about Maggie, about everything. I've been struggling with my feelings for it seems like forever, since Samuel died really. I thought the divorce was the answer but it wasn't. I've tried to move on but I can't. The only thing that's stayed the same is that through it all, I've always loved you. I've always had some little hope we could fix things between us and maybe even get back together as a family, the three of us.”

He could see April's anger give way to something like sympathy. His mother was right, April's heart would always be open to forgiveness and empathy. It was one of the things he loved about her.

But now April was shaking her head. “Jackson, the chance for that to happen has passed. If you had told me this in Montana, then maybe... but you didn't. And I can't get back to that, I just can't. I'm sorry you haven't been able to move on because now, I have. And I can't turn back.”

In his head, this was exactly the answer he was expecting, even if his heart wished for a different one. Now came the hard part. “I know you can't, April, and I do want you to be happy. I hope you know that my concerns about you and Harriet's safety with Abbott were sincerely for your welfare. But I trust your judgment and know you'll always act in Harriet's best interest so you won't hear another word from me about that.”

“Really?” asked April, warily, “Because your tone was pretty threatening earlier...”

“I apologize for that too. I promise that will never happen again either. A long time ago we promised to honor our plan and never fight over Harriet and I've broken that promise but swear to you it won't happen again.”

April nodded. Apparently Catherine's plan to discourage Jackson's legal action had been successful. She would have to thank her former mother-in-law for removing that worry from her plate.

Jackson continued, “And since this has become the Jackson Avery Apology Hour, I'd better include an apology for all the crap I've been heaping on Abbott. Aside from the PTSD thing, I haven't been very fair to him, and now that I've admitted to why, I will also promise you that will also stop. He deserves a fair chance to give you that happiness you deserve and I will quit trying to get in the way of that.”

“Oh?” April asked, surprised at Jackson's forthrightness while still harboring doubts about its sincerity.

“Yes,” Jackson sighed. “I can't promise not to be jealous,” he smiled, “or to occasionally point out his character flaws.” April's eyes narrowed and she gave him an annoyed look. “I can't even promise not to object at your wedding should the occasion arise.” He knew his teasing was disarming her now. “But I will henceforth promise to be on the best behavior I can manage, in the fervent hope that we can at least get back to being friends again. Because as much as I miss being married to you, I miss our friendship even more.”

The expression on April's face told him he had said all the right things. It would be harder to follow through on what he had promised but frankly, he felt relief to stop all the plotting and nastiness and being the bad guy. It really wasn't in his nature. And even if it was short of what he wanted with her, he sincerely desired a chance to be April's friend again, at the very least.

As he made his way to daycare to pick up his daughter, he too decided that his mother deserved some gratitude.

  


April found the front steps to her building occupied by one Sam Abbott, USN.

She looked at him frankly, not saying anything.

He looked back at her and mustered a smile while holding up a pizza box. “I brought pizza.”

“Uh-huh, I see that. What's the occasion?” she asked, willing herself not to succumb to his charm, at least not without a fight.”

“The occasion? How about the exceedingly rare Samuel Abbott admits he was wrong and begs April's forgiveness day?”

“And you think my forgiveness can so easily be bought with a pizza?”

“I would have brought ice cream too but I wasn't sure what time you'd get home.”

“Funny.” she said, walking past him to open her door.

He got up to follow. “Can I come in?” he asked.

“Hmm,” she looked hard at him, “the way you left last night I was pretty convinced you didn't want to be in here anymore.”

“So this is where I start the beg for forgiveness part.”

“Okay, lets see what you've got.”

She wasn't go to go easy on him, Sam concluded. “April, I'm so sorry for what I said the other night. I had no right to tell you what you should do with Jackson, or who you can talk to, or threaten our relationship.”

“Go on.” she prompted.

Frantically, Sam tried to think about what else he had done wrong. “And I'm sorry for scaring you in Jordan and for accusing you of being weak where it comes to Jackson.”

“And?”

Abbott wracked his brain and couldn't think of anything else. “For walking out without letting you have the last word?” he asked.

“Aannnkkk.” April _buzzed_ that attempt. “Do you seriously not know the very worst thing you did last night?”

Crap! Not only was he missing something, it was apparently the worst thing of all. He really regretted not bringing the ice cream.

“Tell you what, Sam, come back when you've figured it out.” With that, April closed the door in his face. But it reopened a moment later. She took the pizza box from his hands, smiled thinly, and closed the door again.

“Damn, she's good.” he said to the closed door. And he obviously sucked at apologizing. He walked down the steps, got to the bottom, had a thought, turned around, but then dismissed it and turned again. What the hell had he said or done that had her so angry? He had no idea. After several minutes pacing the sidewalk in front of her building, he finally decided he needed help. The only person he knew who had long running success in his relationship was Ben Warren.

“This is Warren.”

“Ben, do you have a minute? I really need your help.”

“Well, we're making dinner here but I can give you a minute. What kind of help do you need?”

Sam hastily explained his problem.

“And now I don't know what worst thing I did that I need to apologize for.” Sam finished.

“Okay, usually I get in trouble with Miranda by blowing stuff off that she thinks is important. Like holidays, home improvements, that sort of thing.”

“Yeah, it's nothing like that.”

“It could also be some concern of hers that she thinks is big but you don't.”

“Wait, what?”

“Like, Miranda is all over me to get my cholesterol checked because my father had high cholesterol and had his first heart attack in his forties.”

“That's it!”

“What? You have high cholesterol?”

“No, but I think I get it now. Thanks, buddy.”

“Uh, sure. Good luck with April.”

  


April made him wait a full minute at the door before she answered his buzz.

“April, I'm sorry I blew off your concern over the PTSD thing. I understand why it bothers you and that I need to take it seriously.”

She opened the door wider and stepped aside to invite him in. “Took you long enough.” she told him as he walked by her.

“I know it did. I know I have a blind spot about it. It's not something I'm comfortable talking or even thinking about.”

“Because you're Superman and you think having PTSD is a weakness. Sam, it's not. It not something you asked for. And it doesn't mean you're weak. If anything, the fact that you can still do what you do in spite of it makes you amazing, at least to me.”

“When it's not scaring you.”

“What scares me most is what it's done to you. I've never once feared for Harriet around you. With you nearby she is the safest she'll ever be in her life. I just need you to take it seriously, so it doesn't ambush you someday. I don't know how many times I heard you remind the guys to never underestimate the enemy. Well this is your enemy now. As long as you take it seriously, you'll kick its ass.”

Sam stood in front of her. “And if I don't...”

“I'll kick your ass.” she answered, looking up at him.

“I love you, April Kepner.” he told her.

“How do I know you aren't just saying that to get some of my pizza?”

“Well, that is a pretty great pizza.”

“Correction, it WAS a pretty great pizza.”

Sam laughed. “Good thing my hunger is all for you then.” he said picking her up.

“Good line.” she replied, giggling as he carried her to the bedroom.

 


	24. Interference

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abbott contacts his sister for help without consulting April which results in her appearing in Seattle where she makes quite an impression.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quite happy with Eleanor's appearance in this chapter. Love to hear how you feel about her.

“You did what?” April demanded.

Sam knew he was already back in hot water with the redheaded trauma surgeon. “I asked my sister to run a few things by our family lawyers, just to be sure Jackson couldn't make trouble for you.”

“So you got your lawyers involved without asking me first? When it concerns MY ex husband, MY daughter, and MYself?”

“And me.” Sam answered. “Let's not forget the whole basis for this was Jackson's concern about my PTSD.”

“Which I dealt with. Myself. Without consulting a team of lawyers who, by the way, know none of us and nothing about us.”

Yikes, she is mad, Sam thought. Wait till I tell her the real bad news.

“Sam, I can't believe you would do this without talking to me first. You know I want to have as little to do with lawyers as I can.” April was pacing all around him.

“Well, I know that now, at least.” Sam replied.

“Are you seriously trying to be funny right now?”

“Not sure how someone could _seriously_ try to be _funny_. Although I guess someone could be seriously funny so ...”

“Shut up! You are not going to charm your way out of this. You've really violated my trust here.”

At that a very strange thing happened that Sam would never be able to explain. When April talked about her trust being violated, into Sam's mind popped a scene from Meet the Parents where Robert DeNiro tells Ben Stiller about the  _circle of trust_ . This opened the floodgates for more scenes from the movie to flood Abbotts mind, in turn causing him to, for the first time in his life, begin to giggle. Try as he might, he could not suppress his laughter. Moments later, April paused her chastisement of him to gape as his laughter escaped his control.

But, unfortunately for him, it wasn't contagious. “Out!” she roared, slamming the door behind him as he escaped her apartment. On the sidewalk, Abbott's laughter finally subsided. Talk about seriously funny. But a lot less funny was the knowledge that he had a lot of work to do to repair things with April. Again. And he hadn't even gotten to the part about his sister arriving in Seattle the day after tomorrow.

  
  


“He just started laughing?” Arizona couldn't believe the scene April had just described to her and Alex.

“Yes! I could've killed him.” April confirmed.

“You sure he's not dangerous?” Alex asked. “He sounds like a nutjob to me.”

“Only to his own health and well being.” April answered.

“And this was all about something he did behind your back that you didn't appreciate?” Arizona was dying to know the details but they weren't being offered by her trauma surgeon friend.

April had learned her lesson about confiding too much to the Peds surgeons. She had no wish for it to go around the hospital that Jackson had ever threatened legal action against her or Sam.

Just then her pager went off. She glanced down at it. “Got to go.”

As April rushed off, Arizona said, “April is a department head now, she needs to learn to delegate.”

“You mean like you? Delegate? Is that what you call giving me all your work?” Alex asked his boss.

“Put a sock in it, Alex. Don't you have rounds to do or something?” Arizona wondered again what April had been dressing down Abbott about when he had quite literally cracked up.

  
  


April arrived in the ER to find two ambulances had arrived with victims of a house fire. One of the patients was already being treated for smoke inhalation. The other had suffered severe burns attempting to enter the burning structure to save the first.

“Page plastics.” April called as soon as she arrived at his bedside.

“Wait, on second thought, page Doctor Avery.” She wasn't quite ready to see Sam again yet.

“Too late.” came a familiar voice behind her. She looked at Wilson, who mouthed _sorry_ to her.

“What have we got?” Abbott asked as he came and stood close behind April.

“Twenty-five year old male, second and third degree burns on torso, arms, hands, neck, and face. Estimating fifty to sixty percent of his body.” answered Wilson.

“Respiratory?”

“Airway looks clear but I want to intubate since the other victim inhaled a lot of smoke.” answered April.

“Concur. Cardio?”

“Looks good. No sign of distress.” April answered again. Then she moved to begin to intubate.

“Okay, I want two lines started, lactated Ringer. I want to test for elevated carboxyhemoglobin, Wilson, page Warren then start covering all partial-thickness wounds with antibiotic ointment. Then cleanse all the minor stuff.” Sam ordered.

Abbott began to debride the open blisters on the more severely burned areas. When Warren arrived, Sam instructed him to wrap the man's fingers and then help Wilson with the second degree burn treatment.

“So, your life isn't all breast implants and liposuction.”

They all looked to see who belonged to the unfamiliar voice. Eleanor Abbott stood in the trauma room doorway, immaculately and expensively dressed, her expression oddly sardonic.

“El? I didn't think you were coming until tomorrow.” Sam exclaimed.

“Yes, well after you had me scramble the Abbott legal team for your little fling thing, I thought I'd better get out here as quickly as possible to assess the damage and manage the crisis.”

Sam looked at April. He felt fortunate that, with burn patients, they wore masks even down here in the ER, because April's eyes were boring holes in him right at that moment. If looks were ten blades, he knew he would already be eviscerated by now.

“El, I'm sorry but you can't be here right now. When I'm done here I'll text you and come find you, okay?”

“Very well. I'll go see if I can find a decent cup of coffee in the neighborhood. I understand the city is supposed to have good coffee.”

“There's good coffee in the lobby.” Sam suggested.

Eleanor Abbott sniffed, “Please, I know better than to look for good coffee in a hospital. Message me when you're able.” She disappeared from the doorway.

“Who the hell was that?” Jo Wilson asked loudly.

“Abbott's sister.” April replied, her mask doing nothing to hide the distaste in her voice.

Everyone was looking at Sam now and it definitely wasn't making him comfortable. “All right people, let's concentrate on the patient on the table.” he directed. One more glance in April's direction though and he guessed he was in even worse trouble than before he showed up here. His guess was confirmed minutes later as they finished work on the patient and left the trauma bay.

  
  


“El, I thought you were coming tomorrow.” April's attempt at mimicking his deep voice made him want to laugh but he didn't want to repeat THAT mistake. “Another thing you maybe forgot to mention to me?”

“April, I meant to tell you but you threw me out of your apartment before I had a chance to.” Sam explained.

“Little fling thing? Was she referring to me with that statement?”

Damn it, he thought, she doesn't miss any damn thing. “I suppose. I'm sure she didn't realize you were right there in the room or she would have been more careful.”

“And exactly what _crisis_ is she thinking she needs to be here to manage?”

Brace for impact, we're going down. “I think she means the whole Harriet and Jackson thing.” he sighed.

“You THINK?” April was clearly livid again, or maybe still? “So your going behind my back to consult your lawyers about my business has now landed your sister here, again without any warning to me, to manage a _crisis_ that doesn't even exist?”

Sam, realizing there was nothing to be said in his defense, wisely surrendered. “That's about the size of it.”

“Uunngghh!” April exclaimed and walked away.

As Sam watched her and wondered what he would have to do to get back in her good graces, Ben Warren approached.

“Back in the doghouse, huh?” he observed.

“Oh yeah.” acknowledged Sam.

“You seem to have become a regular lately.”

“You could say that.”

“Well, hang in there. She'll come around. Changing the subject, that was your sister?”

“Unfortunately that isn't really changing the subject, but yes, that was my sister.”

“Her little implant and lipo crack?”

“She does make a first impression.” Sam admitted.

“What legal crisis was she talking about?”

“Long story and not one you want to become part of.”

“Enough said.” replied Ben. “Mildly Pleasant Hour tonight?” In support of Abbott's personal ban on alcoholic beverages, Happy Hour had been rechristened to reflect his abstention.

“Probably not. Gonna have to do something about my sister and figure out how to get April to speak to me again.” Sam replied.

“Understood. Stay strong.” Ben told his friend.

  
  


Sam stuck his head in the door of the lab. “Hey, I need to duck out for an hour or so.”

Jackson looked up. “Sure, no problem. Warren and I can cover.”

“Thanks. Page me if you need me. I'll be close by.”

“Okay.” Jackson answered, back to peering through his microscope at a tissue sample.

It had only been a few days since Jackson had admitted to him that he still loved April and wanted her back. That admission had led Abbott to believe that things would only get worse between them. But Sam had been surprised when the exact opposite had occurred. Jackson had made an abrupt about-face and instantly become civil, if not exactly friendly, toward his rival for April's affection.

The first sign of a change came when Jackson informed Abbott that he would no longer be required to get his ENT surgical certification in two months. He followed that up with a more balanced schedule, better delegation of procedures, and helping him construct a reasonably paced plan to prepare for certification toward the end of the year.

The effect on Sam's morale had been instantaneous. When he told April she had smiled but not admitted to playing any part in it, though Sam suspected she must be responsible somehow.

  
  


Abbott texted his sister to ascertain her whereabouts. She responded that she had found an acceptable cup of coffee at Diva Expresso, just across the street from the hospital. She was sitting alone at one of the larger tables, a folder of papers sitting in front of her, perusing something on her iPad. Even at midmorning the place was packed and Sam could see a few people standing and leaning against the wall. One or two glanced toward his sister, giving her the stink eye, probably for hogging one of the few big tables with its four seats, rather than taking one at the counter. Eleanor was oblivious.

“There you are. Finally! I thought I might have to wait here all day.” she said as he approached and took a seat opposite her.

“El, for God's sake, it's only been an hour or so. And did you see the burns on that poor guy? Lucky I didn't have to work on him all day.” Sam answered her.

“Don't you have assistants or interns or minions or something that you can order to take care of him.”

“Minions? Really, El? How do you even know that word? And no, I can't pass a serious burn like that to an inexperienced intern. How would you like it if you came into the hospital and we just let the nearest med student treat you?”

“As if I would ever come to a teaching hospital like this anyway.” The disdain in her voice was readily apparent and Sam didn't appreciate it.

“El, get over yourself. This hospital has some of the finest doctors in the country practicing here. You wouldn't find a better standard of care anywhere else.”

“I have my doubts about that. But, enough about your precious hospital. The reason I'm here is to sort out this Avery problem so you are free to pursue your little doctor friend, June is it?”

Sam sighed. “El, you know damn well her name is April.”

“Oh yes, April Kipner.”

“Kepner.” Sam couldn't help but flash back to the night he met April in that surgical tent in Jordan. As they worked to save Scott Triplett, he had purposefully mangled her last name to see how she would react. He was pretty sure he had used _Kipner_ himself.

“Whatever. Our people were able to dig up some very interesting information on..” she opened the folder and consulted one of the sheets within, “this Jackson Avery fellow. He happens to be the scion of a very well known surgical legend, a Harper Avery.”

“El, I'm already well aware of that. Jackson is my boss. And, if you'd let me get a word in edgewise I could tell you that we can call off the dogs. The situation has been resolved. Tell the team to stand down.”

Eleanor pretended not to hear her brother. She was difficult to call off once on the scent and she loved this sort of backdoor intrigue. “Jackson's mother is one Catherine Avery, who by all accounts is responsible for building the Harper Avery Foundation into a force to be reckoned with in the medical community. We found that odd since Catherine divorced...” she again consulted the dossier in front of her, “Jackson's father, Robert, when the boy was quite young. Robert fell off the radar but Catherine remained to become Harper Avery's top assistant.”

“El, this is all very int...”

Sam was cut off again. “Jackson never knew his father until he met him about six months ago, in Montana, where he runs a ...” she did a double take and chuckled, “a diner of all things.”

“El...”

“Wait, we're coming to the good part. Apparently, Jackson was sent to perform a throat transplant at an Avery hospital there in Bozeman and used the opportunity to meet and introduce himself to his father.”

By now Sam had realized that Eleanor was going to tell whatever story she wanted to tell no matter how hard he tried to stop her so he figured the quickest way to get it over with was to let her tell it with minimal interruption.

“Our Montana sources indicated that the entire trip ended up being quite eventful.”

“Montana sources? You have Montana sources?”

Eleanor continued undeterred, “Apparently meeting his father was not terribly successful in repairing any relationship between them. But the throat procedure was a tremendous success, resulting in a write up in the American Journal of Medicine, quite a credit to both Doctor Avery and Doctor Kepner.”

"Yes, I know all about this too”

Eleanor smiled thinly at her brother. “Yes, we're told your little Doctor Kepner was by his side the entire trip. And, in interviewing the hotel maids that serviced their rooms, apparently they spent at least one night together. But I'm sure your April told you that as well.”

Sam was stunned. In his head he did the math. Six months ago was just a month or so before he received the Navy Cross. Just a month or so before he and April were together the first time in the Del. He felt a little sick. She had been sleeping with Jackson almost up to the point that she started sleeping with him.

Eleanor Ford Abbott maintained a neutral expression on the outside though it was all she could do to suppress her satisfied smile. This conversation had gone exactly as she had planned, starting with her arrival a day earlier than Sam expected. Imagine, asking for the family's help with protecting that little redheaded gold digger from her ex husband. Honestly, her brother was hopeless in the way he picked up strays. Well, they hadn't been able to keep him from that Catholic bitch, but God had taken care of her. But then he had foolishly tried to join her in death by joining the frickin Navy of all things. But there was no way they were going to sit back and let this flaky little divorcée, with her half breed pup, have him. No way!

After giving him ample time to turn her information over in his mind a few times, and relishing the effect, Eleanor decided she'd better get back to the pretense of helping with the legal issue. “Our lawyers have examined the available information and concluded that the Avery's don't have much of a case. As long as you aren't hiding some sort of skeletons in a closet somewhere, they would have little chance of proving you dangerous to your April or to Jackson's daughter.” She thought it a nice touch to remind him of who Harriet's father was. “But, we felt it prudent to also come up with an alternate plan should the worst case happen. It turns out, the Harper Avery Foundation and it's hospitals have one major pharmaceutical supplier that they count on.”

“Let me guess, Abbott Pharmaceuticals.” Sam said dully.

“Correct. And because of this, they would find it very difficult to remain profitable should they suddenly incur, say a twenty percent across the board increase in drug and medical equipment costs. In fact, I would say that just a whisper of that possibility in the right ears were create quite a bit of consternation at HAF. Oh, and did I mention that Abbott Labs sits on the HAF board?”

“They would just pass those costs on to their patients, our patients. “Sam said, remembering that GSMH was an Avery hospital too.

“Eventually, yes, but in the short term... And of course, if certain people were to find out that Jackson and Catherine Avery were the cause of it, well, lets just say their future prospects would probably dim rather quickly.”

Sam sat silently digesting what his sister had told him. He didn't doubt what she'd revealed about Montana was true. And he had to admit it troubled him.

The legal thing was another matter. He knew now that Jackson's threat of legal action had evaporated. He wasn't sure of the details but April had been one hundred percent positive it was a non issue now. The Abbott legal team was correct, there was no case to be made.

But listening to Eleanor describe her backup plan, he came to an important realization; she wanted to do this. It was her plan. Nevermind the collateral damage. Nevermind there was no real reason to do it. His sister wanted to do it for the sheer pleasure of creating havoc for the Averys, who she'd never even met. It disgusted and revolted him and brought back memories of Amy and the horrible things they'd tried to do to break them up. And that's when he realized something else. Eleanor now had April in her sights. That's why she'd brought up Montana.

“How could I be so stupid?” he said quietly.

'Hm? What did you say?” his sister asked.

“April was exactly right. It was really stupid to come to you, to think you'd changed.”

Eleanor began to lose control over her facial expression. Her smile began to falter.

“You will never change. You will always be a sad mean little person.”

Eleanor's smile now fully morphed into a snarl. 'Be careful, little brother, or I won't stop at ruining the Averys. Your little whore might have trouble finding work once I close that piece of shit hospital across the street.”

“I don't think so. In fact, I think you're the one who'd better update her resume.” he retorted as the entire coffee shop stopped to watch the two siblings.

“Ha! Why is that?”

“Because it sounds like Harper Avery is a very large customer of Abbott's. And once I walk back across the street and talk to Catherine Avery, I wouldn't be too surprised if they take their business elsewhere.”

Now Eleanor was listening and some of her bravado was fading into something else.

“And once it becomes known to the Abbott stockholders who cost them one of their strategic customers, well, lets just say your future prospects will probably dim rather quickly.”

“Fuck you, you bastard. I hope you're happy with that little redheaded tramp.”

“She makes me happier than you'll ever be in your sad little life. I thought my heart was too broken to ever love again. I thought I was too broken to ever be loved again. She fixed me. She's given me back my life. I'm just sad that you'll never be able to begin to comprehend that. Goodbye Eleanor.”

Sam walked out of the coffee shop without looking back. He needed to find Catherine Avery. And then, he would find April Kepner, and tell her that he didn't give a shit whether she slept with Jackson in Montana. If she was willing, he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her.

After Sam left, Eleanor sat in anger and fear. She knew she had overplayed her hand and now would pay the price as she had no doubt Sam would follow through on his very real threat. Suddenly she felt an elbow to the side of her head as a young woman arose from her seat nearby and brushed past her.

“Oh, excuse me.” said Stephanie Edwards, smiling. Then she too walked out the door. She had been waiting to meet her friends when they got off their shift. Boy, did she have a story to tell.

  
  


Abbott left Catherine Avery to her phone calls. Abbott Pharmaceuticals would survive the loss of one of their largest customers, but Eleanor Ford Abbott's career there wouldn't. Catherine was no slouch when it came to back room maneuvers either and could be just as ruthless as Eleanor when threatened. Sam had no doubt his sister had landed herself in water over her head.

Now he made his way to the ER to find April and beg her forgiveness. He exited the elevator and entered the ER to find quite a large group gathered around the Nurses station. He recognized Hunt, Amelia Shepard, Jo Wilson, Alex Karev, Deluca, and Warren. He was just about to ask about April when he caught sight of her red hair. She was standing next to a young woman in street clothes. She looked familiar to him until he placed her. She had been a resident during his previous stint here. Stephanie, that was her name.

His approach was noted and they all turned toward him, including April. But before he could begin his apology, she stepped forward to meet him, looking up into his eyes. Instead of the anger he was expecting from her, her expression was moist softness,

Caught off guard he looked down at her questioningly. “Steph.” he heard Jo Wilson say softly.

Stephanie's thumb swiped her phone's screen and he heard his recorded voice saying

_She makes me happier than you'll ever be in your sad little life. I thought my heart was too broken to ever love again. I thought I was too broken to ever be loved again. She fixed me. She's given me back my life. I'm just sad that you'll never be able to begin to comprehend that._

“We fixed each other, Sam Abbott.” April said to him and her eyes glistened. “We fixed each other.”

 


	25. Sacrifice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything seems to be going Sam's way finally as he returns halftime to Trauma, finds peace with Jackson, and begins to think about asking April the big question.  
> It appears to be yet another stroke of luck when he is chosen for a special assignment to be loaned out to an Air Ambulance service for a week of flying around Seattle in a helicopter.  
> The timing appears perfect as a rare heat wave grips Seattle and provides perfect flying weather.  
> Soon though, calamity strikes when a car ferry collides with a whale watching boat and the Seattle area emergency services are stretched to cope with it.  
> When a small plane ditches in the water right in front of the helo, Abbott will be forced to make a choice that will rock April and put his, and their, future in jeopardy.

“So why do you get all the fun?” Day two of a rare sweltering heatwave had Seattle in its grip.

“Because I’m expendable. The ER ceases to function when you aren’t there, Hunt is too important to spare for reasons I’m not sure of, and that leaves only one trauma guy available, me. And you shouldn’t need reminding, but apparently do, that I have a lot of experience working in and around helos so I’m obviously the best qualified person for the job.”

“Considering that your experience includes several wrecked helicopters, I’m not sure that’s a positive factor.” April protested.

“You can hardly blame me for that and I would think there would be fewer people shooting at aircraft over Seattle than over, say, Mogadishu.” Abbott was enjoying April’s dismay at not being considered for this assignment. Who wouldn’t want to get out of the hospital and fly around Puget Sound for a week? It was just in time for Abbott too as he was missing the excitement and changes of scenery his previous job had provided. It was harder to come by those adrenaline fixes without people trying to kill you everyday.

The back and forth between April and Abbott concerned the call that had come in the previous day from AirCare, the medevac outfit that Grey Sloan worked closely with. They had a serious problem and were asking for help. One of their flight surgeons was on pregnancy leave, another had strep, and a third had broken their leg the day before. So that meant that they were grounded if they couldn’t find someone to fill in. They had called around to area hospitals but had come up empty. So they had contacted GSMH to see if they could borrow a surgeon for a week until they could get their own personnel back on duty. Bailey had in turn asked Abbott if he was interested. He thought about it for all of two seconds before jumping at the opportunity to become airborne again.

This call had coincided nicely with Bailey's recently enacted plan to split Abbott between trauma and plastics, allowing him to fill the gap that still existed in Trauma, while nominally remaining under Jackson's supervision, thereby maintaining adherence to all hospital policies forbidding his significant other from supervising him.

Sam had been thrilled with the plan. Trauma remained his first specialty love and it would give him a chance to work with April a whole lot more. He wondered, though, whether Jackson would give it his blessing.

To Abbott's surprise, Jackson had approved the arrangement without argument. Since the episode with Abbott's sister two weeks earlier, the Avery's, Jackson included, had gone out of their way to show their gratitude to Sam for exposing Eleanor's plan and allowing them to strike first and erase the threat. Their new suppliers had even cut them sweetheart deals to win the Harper Avery business so Catherine had emerged a hero to the Foundation's board yet again. It's worth mentioning that the Board also no longer had a member of Abbott Labs sitting on it.

So while Abbott left to report to the AirCare base in Tacoma, April rather grumpily packed her lunch for another day in the Grey Sloan ER.

It turned out she needn’t have worried about the lunch though as there would be no time to eat that day. The Bainbridge Island car ferry collided with a whale watching boat midway between the Seattle ferry terminal and the island. The ferry had sustained some damage but the whale watcher had quickly taken on water and sank. The violent collision produced many injured and the need for a several water rescues by the Coast Guard, Navy, and civilian agencies.

That in turn produced a steady stream of ambulances from the Ferry Terminal to Grey Sloan that persisted through the day.

In the late morning, April heard the call she had been listening for all morning, AirCare was inbound with a head and spine injury they had just picked up. She and Amelia made their way to the rooftop heliport.

Abbott was all grins as the helicopter door slid open and the patient, attached to a backboard, was offloaded onto a gurney.

“Having fun?” April asked him, after making sure the patient was unconscious.

“All kinds.” Abbott replied. “The pilot’s name is Sonny Skid. Can you believe it? A helo pilot named _Skid_.”

April had to laugh. “You are so weird,” she told him. The things that amused him never ceased to entertain her.

“It’s a good thing you didn’t get this gig then as that would have been totally wasted on you.”

“Yeah, good thing.”

“He’s army, but seems to know how to fly this thing.”

April knew that no matter how far behind him his naval service was, he’d always honor the friendly rivalry between the service branches.

“You heading back to the Ferry Terminal?” she shouted above the roar of the helicopter’s engines.

“Nope, got a MVC out on San Juan Island so we’re on our way to Friday Harbor.”

“All the way out there?”

“Yep. Not sure if we’ll head back here or go to Bellingham. We’ll see what we got when we get there.”

“OK, stay safe.”

“Roger that. You too.” He gave her a quick kiss and then slid the door closed as April retreated toward the elevator and the patient. She turned around just in time to see Abbott give her a thumbs up out the window of the climbing helo.

  
  


The AirCare helo was on it’s way back to Seattle with its two MVC victims. Abbott had determined they could make the longer trip to GSMH, which was better equipped to help them than Bellingham could, though it would be stretching the helo's fuel a little.

They had left San Juan Island behind and were now flying down the length of Lopez Island outside the Starboard windows. Suddenly there was a Mayday call on their radio frequency. A single engine plane was in distress over the Sound and trying desperately to make land, reporting their position off Iceberg Point. Abbott saw Sonny Skid point and say “Eyes on.” Apparently the small plane was crossing just in front of the AirCare helo.

“He’s ditching!” the pilot announced. “Coast Guard, this is AirCare angels flight, approximately 2 miles south of Iceberg Point. We’ve just seen the Mayday ditch in the Sound. Diverting to site.”

Abbott didn’t hear the Coast Guard reply but he felt the helo bank and immediately descend. He knew that there would be limited assistance they could offer as they weren’t equipped or trained for water rescue. Or at least, most of them weren’t.

“There he is.” Skid announced. The plane wallowed in a heavy swell, for the moment remaining afloat. Abbott figured that wouldn’t last long.

“Crap!” he heard the pilot say to his co-pilot.

“What’s up?” Abbott asked through his headset.

“All the Coast Guard aircraft are committed down in Bainbridge. So is Navy Search and Rescue out of Whidbey. It’ll be at least an hour before they can get anything here.”

“They have maybe five minutes, not an hour,” answered Abbott

“Well, we don't have fuel to stay here ourselves, not that we're doing much good. No sign of movement anyway. Likely no one survived impact.”

Abbott surveyed the wreck outside the port window. “I don't know. The fuselage survived the crash in pretty decent shape.”

“Doesn't mean the impact didn't kill em.”

“No, but there's a chance. Wait! I see movement. Definite movement in the cabin. If they open that door...”

“They go down with the aircraft. And we don't have any way of preventing it.”

Abbott thought about it for a few seconds.

“What's the distance to the island?”

“A couple of miles, maybe, why?”

Abbott hesitated a moment more then made up his mind. “I'm going in.”

The pilot was incredulous. “What? Are you insane? We don't have any water rescue equipment. That's cold water. And we don't have a way to get you back onboard after you go in.”

“Understood. If I can get them out, how much weight could you take on and still make Whidbey?”

“If you could get them aboard, we could probably take another hundred to a hundred and a half in addition to your two hundred.”

“So three hundred fifty counting my two hundred.?”

“Right. But how would we get them aboard?”

“If I stand on the fuselage and lift them high enough, Billy could pull em aboard.”

“Maybe. Be dangerous as hell. Plus a pretty good swell makes it harder to get down low enough.”

“Less dangerous than sinking to the bottom. And a Navy pilot would say this is a calm day,”

“Yeah, fuck you,” the former Army pilot replied. These SEALs were frickin crazy mothers.

The crazy SEAL mother in the cabin of his helo had already begun to strip down to his skivvies.

  
  


In the ER at Grey Sloan, Cross happened to be near the radio and heard the transmissions between AirCare and the USCG Puget Sound Sector dispatch in Seattle. First, he turned up the sound. Then he ran like hell to find April Kepner.

Leaving Jo to finish with the patient they were treating, April ran to the radio and ran the volume up to full so she could hear the AirCare transmission.

“Confirming, we are onsite with that plane ditch. My flight surgeon is about to commence rescue and aid. He's going in.”

“AirCare, we strongly advise against this. Repeat. We strongly advise against sending anyone into the water.”

April heard the AirCare pilot chuckle. “Coast Guard, nobody is sending him. He is going. And he's not a guy I want to argue with.”

And April knew he was talking about Abbott.

There was a pause, then the AirCare pilot hit transmit again. But this time there was a lot of background noise that made it hard to hear. April guessed the helo door was open.

April clicked the TRANSMIT button. “Sam, Sam Abbott.”

“April?” came the reply. Abbott was surprised that April would be on the radio net.

“Sam, you listen to me very carefully. You do not go into that water, understand?”

“April, I don't have time to argue this. There are people down there and I may be able to save them. I need to do this.”

“No. No you don't. It is not your job to save everyone. There are people back here that need you.”

“April , it IS my job to save people...”

She cut him off. “Not if it means getting yourself killed.”

“April. I...” he wanted to reassure her but he knew he couldn't do it without lying to her. The odds were long against him here, very long. “I have to, April, you of all people understand that.”

What did he mean by that, she asked herself? Then she understood. Finally, she understood what drove Samuel Abbott. There was silence on the air for a moment. April knew that several people were listening to this exchange. She didn't care.

“They aren't on that plane, Sam. You can't bring them back.” April knew she was guessing correctly.

His silence confirmed it. Finally, he responded. “I know, April. I know I can't. But maybe someone else's Amy is down there. Or someone's Murphy. Or a Harriet. Or maybe even someone's April Kepner.”

She could hear the sad smile in his voice. “And if there's the slightest chance of saving them, I'm going to take it.”

“Sam...” April struggled to find the right words to keep him on that helo. But she knew she had lost the argument and most likely, him with it. “Sam, you promise me. Promise me you'll come back to me.”

“I love you, April. Always.” It was the best he could do. He didn't want his last words to her to be a broken promise.

April closed her eyes. The next thing she heard was the pilot's voice. “He's in the water. Goddamn it, he's in the water.”

  
  


The helicopter hovered a hundred feet away from the wallowing aircraft, fearing the prop wash would accelerate swamping it in the already large swell. Abbott's strong strokes knifed through the chilly water and soon he was climbing aboard the aircraft. Without benefit of a water worthy radio, he improvised hand signals to communicate with the helo pilot. He reported four people inside the plane, two were apparently conscious and moving. The other two were unresponsive and their condition remained unknown.

Working against time, Sam was able to open the aircraft cabin and extract the two rear seat passengers, one a young woman, the other a teenage girl. Leaving them straddling the fuselage behind the wing, he set about trying to pull the other two passengers out of their seats. Finally, he had another, older female, passenger out onto the wing but she remained unconscious. He didn't have time to examine her as the plane had begun to take on water rapidly now. Abbott waved the helo in. He had only moments to get these three aboard.

Sonny Skid was an excellent pilot, having flown hundreds of missions in the Army and spent just over two years in the air ambulance. Still, this was the greatest challenge he'd ever faced. He had to time things perfectly with the swell. Failure to do so could put the helo into the water alongside the small plane, or even decapitate the people atop it.

Fortunately the nurse paramedic onboard, Billy, was a fitness freak with a lot of upper body strength. He would need it as he had to lay on his belly and quickly grab and drag the crash victims aboard as the helo dipped down into Abbott's reach. Sam, astride the fuselage, hoisted the teenage girl up as high as he could, Billy grabbed her and pulled her aboard as the helo rose to avoid the coming wave.

They repeated the process a second time and the other young woman was brought aboard.

The third person though presented a number of challenges. For one thing, she was unconscious and dead weight for Abbott to lift and Billy to pull. For another, the plane was sinking rapidly now, lowering Abbott's platform even further. The first attempt failed and the pilot had to jerk back on the collective to escape the wave trough before the helo was caught.

Sonny Skid read the expression on Abbott's face. They were out of time. There would only be one more chance. He dropped the helo dangerously close to the water's surface, Abbott made a herculean effort to raise the woman's body high enough for Billy to reach. Sonny wasn't even sure the woman was aboard yet when he had to jerk the collective again to raise the ship, barely escaping the next swell. It was with great relief when Billy reported all three survivors aboard and began working on the unconscious woman.

Skid's relief was short-lived however. He watched as Abbott returned to the cabin of the plane, even though it was clearly going down. His concern turned to horror as the plane suddenly disappeared below the waves, taking Sam Abbott with it. “Jesus Christ.” he heard his copilot utter beside him.

“Coast Guard, AirCare angels flight, the aircraft has just sunk. Our flight surgeon was aboard trying to rescue one additional victim.”

Listening at Grey Sloan, a group was gathering around the radio. April was shaking, a panicked look on her face. “Bring Arizona,” Karev whispered to Jo, who took off running. He took April's arm and guided her to a seat nearby.

A long minute went by. Suddenly the pilots voice came over the radio again. “I'll be damned! Coast Guard, AirCare, our guy just surfaced with the last crash victim. He's signaling.”

There was a muffled sound as though the pilot had covered his mic but was still talking. “Tell the girls he's alive.”

Then, clearer. “Coast Guard, AirCare, the fourth crash victim is alive!. Repeat, the fourth victim is alive.”

A cheer went up in the ER at Grey Sloan. April allowed an expression of hope to cross her face. But it was all too brief.

“AirCare, Coast Guard Seattle. Advise on recovery of the two men in the water, over.”

Aboard the helo, Sonny glanced at his co-pilot, who shook his head. They were already at max load. Even with a way to bring Abbott and the last victim aboard, they wouldn't have been able to and stay aloft.

'Uh, Coast Guard, be advised. We have no way to bring them aboard. We need water rescue dispatched immediately.”

“AirCare, regret to inform you that water rescue is not available in that area at this time. All rescue assets are committed at the south end of the Sound.”

Sonny's co-pilot pointed to a figure on his clipboard. Sonny groaned.

“Coast Guard, Aircare, we are 3 minutes from bingo. You have to have something you can send out here.”

Listening in the ER, Cross asked, “ _Bingo_ , what's bingo?”

“It the point of no return. Its where they have just enough gas to get back.” answered Owen dully.

“Negative AirCare. Best ETA is 90 minutes.”

Damn it! That was probably 80 minutes too late for that cold water.

“Roger that. We will remain on station until we have to break off. Please expedite.”

“We'll do our best, AirCare.”

Sonny Skid signaled Abbott. His co-pilot cried out in disbelief. “Is he trying to do what I think he's doing?”

“Yep.” Sonny sighed. “He's swimming for it.”

Two and a half minutes later, Sonny made one last signal to Abbott as Sam towed his charge toward the distant island. In response Abbott threw out his left hand. Sonny smiled grimly. “Takeoff, he says. Call Whidbey and tell them we're on our way with five patients. We'll need ambulances and refueling. And I want whatever water rescue gear they've got ready to go. Rafts, flares, survival suits, warmers, whatever they've got.”

Meanwhile, 923 nautical miles to the south, a USN Cessna Citation X jet roared off the runway at North Island Naval Air Station. It was also bound for Whidbey NAS and the pilot immediately accelerated to it's max speed of 700 mph. It would reach Whidbey in a little over an hour. Aboard were four Navy SEALs, including a Chief Petty Officer who simply would not allow his doctors to keep him off this mission. Of all the people who now knew about the situation in the Puget Sound, Roland Tarpley alone knew with certainty that he would find Sam Abbott alive when he got there. And he would bring him home.

  
  


The Citation touched down just as the AirCare Jet Ranger finished refueling and loading supplies. It was Sonny Skid's intention to return to the site to find Abbott and render whatever aid he could.

Tarpley and his SEAL comrades, disembarked the Cessna and were met by the Whidbey's Navy Search and Rescue commander, Captain Wyatt. He quickly briefed the new arrivals. He told them he had a Sikorsky MH-60S Nighthawk inbound and expected in 5 minutes. It would refuel, resupply and take them to the search site as quickly as possible.

Tarpley looked across the tarmac as the AirCare helo's rotors began to turn. “What's that?”

“The civilian ship Abbott was on. The pilot asked for fuel and supplies and now he's heading back out there.” Wyatt answered.

“Then I'm with him. You follow in the Nighthawk.” he told the other SEALs. Tarpley grabbed his gear and sprinted toward the AirCare helo. Every second counted and they were his best chance to get to Abbott quickly.

A minute later the AirCare Ranger was airborne and returning to the spot they had left Abbott. But this time they had a full complement of rescue and survival gear and a human fish aboard named Tarpley. Sonny Skid eased the collective forward and applied full throttle and the Jet Ranger leaned forward in response. Travers, the co-pilot dialed the radio in to the Navy SAR frequency.

Twenty minutes later they reached the spot Sonny's co-pilot had marked on GPS. There was no sign of the plane wreckage, Abbott, or the last crash victim.

“Shall I start a standard search pattern?” Skid asked Tarpley, who had donned Abbott's headset.

“Negative, we don't have time. You know which direction Sam was trying to swim in?”

“Due north, toward Iceberg Point.”

“Then lets head in that direction.”

They covered the two miles to Iceberg Point in just a few minutes but there was no sign of Abbott on the water. Sonny guided the helo along the coast of the island hoping against hope that Sam had accomplished the impossible and made it to the beach. But that proved fruitless too.

“Head back to the crash site.” ordered Tarpley.

When they got back to the scene Tarpley hung out of the door and surveyed the area.

“No visible debris.”

“Well, the plane pretty much stayed intact.” replied the pilot.

“But there's always something, papers, cups, cushions, something.” Tarpley thought a moment. He grabbed a buoy, untied the line attached to it, and dropped it out the door into the water below. In a minute it had already begun to float east.

“Incoming tide is really flowing.” Tarpley remarked.

“That eclipse is giving us king tides all week long.” Billy remarked.

“It's a frickin river. Abbott would know better than to try to fight it to get to Iceberg Point. What's east of here.

Travers, the co-pilot unfolded a chart. “Not much of anything until you get to the mainland. It's the Strait of Juan de Fuca.”

“But there are a couple of tiny uninhabited islands.” Billy reminded him. He had grown up in the San Juan Islands. “There's Colville. And Swirl. That's a frickin speck. And if he angled far enough north he might hit Aleck Rocks or Castle Island although if he got that far he'd end up on the east end of Lopez anyway.”

Tarpley looked at the young paramedic. “What's due east?”

“First Swirl, then Colville.”

“Confirmed.” said Travers, consulting the chart again.

“Let's go, track due east, we'll check em both.” Tarpley decided.

  
  


At Grey Sloan a fresh group of ferry accident victims arrived at the ER. April jumped up. “April, it's okay, we've got it.” Owen Hunt told her.

“No,” she answered him with a shake of her head, “it'll help if I can work.”

“April.” Hunt was about to insist.

“Let her work.” said a familiar voice. “It's the way she deals with it.” said Jackson Avery.

April gave him a grateful look and rushed out to the ambulance bay.

  
  


Swirl Island could barely be called an island. More of a rock, it was barely above the waves.

Colville Island was much more substantial, although very small by almost any island standard. It was between the two that the search struck paydirt.

As the helo passed Swirl they could just make out something in the water ahead. Moments later, they were able to confirm. There were two men in the water below. One was floating on his back, seemingly unconscious still. The other was stubbornly stabbing at the water with ragged strokes, making for the island ahead of him, not even acknowledging the helo that now hovered above, the downdraft from its rotors churning the water around them.

Skid brought the Ranger low and Tarpley dropped into the water. Billy pushed out the life raft the navy had supplied and it hit the water with a splash. Tarpley swam to it and activated the inflator, then began towing it toward Abbott and his charge.

Tarpley's swift strong strokes soon closed the distance to the men. Abbott still futilely persisted in trying to swim his charge to the island ahead. Tarpley could see his friend was suffering from hypothermia and at a stage where thought and reason had long been driven from him. The only thing the cold water had left Sam Abbott was his stubborn will.

He barely registered that Tarpley disengaged the plane crash victim from his grasp and hoisted him into the raft. Nor did he have the strength to resist when Tarpley did the same to him. Then Tarpley tied the raft line to his belt and began to swim for the small island ahead.

A former college swim star, even Abbott, a strong swimmer himself, acknowledged that Tarpley was the best man in the water. In just a few minutes he managed to tow the loaded raft the remaining distance to Colville Island. Pulling the raft up onto the rocks, he first checked for signs of life in the man Sam had been trying to tow to safety. He found no pulse and surmised that the man had succumbed either to unseen injuries suffered in the crash or to hypothermia himself.

Checking Abbott's pulse, he found it weak and thready and that, alarmingly, Sam too had now fallen unconscious. Tarpley was no doctor but as a SEAL he was familiar with hypothermia. He was just about to pick Sam up to carry him to higher ground when Billy arrived at his side. Sonny Skid had managed to land the AirCare helo on a relatively flat spot on the tiny island.

Billy began to examine Abbott while Tarpley unpacked the warming blankets the Navy had put aboard the helo with the other supplies.

“Jesus, getting temp reading of 89. We need to get him to a hospital fast.”

“Then let's go.” Tarpley replied.

“I'll get the gurney.” Billy yelled over the roar of the helo's engines.

“Fuck that, no time.” Tarpley answered. He carefully picked up Abbott and carried him toward the helo.

“What about him?” Billy indicated the plane victim's body.

“He didn't make it. We'll let the Navy recover him.”

Soon Abbott was aboard the AirCare helo, wrapped in warming blankets, as it sped toward PeaceHealth St Joseph Hospital in Bellingham.

The Navy Nighthawk meanwhile landed on Colville to perform the grim task of picking up the body Sam Abbott had towed almost three miles through frigid Puget Sound waters in a vain attempt to save him.

  
  


At Grey Sloan things finally slowed down to a more normal pace. They received word that all the victims of the ferry accident had been rescued and treated.

April had been her usual efficient effective self though her colleagues remained concerned and attentive to her. She spurned any effort to relieve her and they soon gave up on that strategy. But finally the ER board was empty. Surveying it, she turned and called out “Nice job everyone.”

Jackson put the pad in the charging dock. “You okay?” he asked her quietly.

April sighed and looked up at the ceiling with a pained expression on her face. “Me? Yes, I'm fine. Perfectly fine. Do you know why I'm fine? Because I don't jump out of helicopters into Puget Sound. Or run around in burning buildings. Or exploding buses.”

Jackson allowed himself a tiny chuckle. “Well, I do seem to recall you crawling into a wrecked car one night just before an ambulance exploded nearby.”

She shot him a look that told him it was dangerous to contradict her at this particular time.

“Only because you two idiots would have gotten blown to bits if I hadn't.”

Jackson put up his hands in surrender. “You're probably right.” He looked at her a moment. “You know if anyone can pull it off, it's him, right?”

April looked at him. “What if he can't?” she asked. He saw it then. Her lip was quivering. She was barely holding it together, he realized.

He took her in his arms and she began sobbing into his chest. “He can, April, he can. You just gotta have faith. I know you can do that, right? That's your specialty.”

“Besides,” he said as she pulled back from him and wiped her tears away with her sleeve, “I'm pretty sure it would take more than the Pacific Ocean to keep him from coming home to you.”

April smiled despite her tears. “When did you become my supportive friend again?”

“When I finally overcame my temporary insanity and realized how much I missed my best friend.” he answered sincerely.

  
  


Hunt hailed DeLuca, who was standing at the nurses station. “Anything on the radio?”

“Nope. Last I heard the AirCare helicopter landed at Whidbey Naval Air Station to offload the three plane crash survivors that Abbott saved. Then they went off the air. “

“So we have no idea what's going on with Abbott.” Owen shook his head. Poor Kepner.

No one thought to check the Television screen where the news banner proclaimed _Breaking News: More Drama in Puget Sound. Three Rescued from small plane crash in San Juan Islands. Navy Search underway for fourth victim and rescuer. One body reportedly recovered minutes ago. Stay tuned for further developments._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, I do have an ending (or two) coming shortly. Please hang in there.
> 
> Thanks for reading. And, of course, comments are welcome and much appreciated.
> 
> And is it my imagination or is Japril fanfic picking up again? Lots of really good stuff appearing everywhere again it seems. If you're a fanfic fan (fff?) like I am it's pretty fun.


	26. Confusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> April immerses herself in her work to keep from thinking about the possibility of losing Abbott.  
> Meanwhile, Tarpley, the AirCare crew, and the Bellingham trauma docs work together to keep Sam alive and get him to the hospital.  
> But communications gets crossed and the Navy SAR team mistakenly thinks they've recovered Abbott's body. This leads to some unfortunate trouble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really! I promise there will be an end to this. And soon (relatively).
> 
> Thanks so much for reading. And if you feel moved to leave a comment, I'd be most grateful.

It was ten minutes before Leah Murphy happened to look up at the television. Reading the banner, she dropped the charting tablet onto the counter and ran to the procedure room where April and Owen were treating the victim of a bicycle vs car collision.

“Page ortho please, Wilson.” she heard April request.

“Doctor Hunt?” Murphy said.

“What is it, Murphy?” he answered as he checked for tenderness in the bike rider's abdomen.

“Could I speak with you for a moment?”

“I'm a little busy at the moment, Murphy.” Hunt responded.

“It's important, sir.” Leah insisted gently.

Hunt was about to reply that the patient on the table was pretty important too but before he could April said, “It's okay, I've got this.”

Hunt nodded and pulled off his gloves as he followed Murphy out of the door. “What is it, Murphy?” he repeated.

“Doctor Hunt, come and see the tv. There's something about Abbott.”

Owen's irritation was instantly replaced by concern. The two hurried to stand in front of the screen.

A reporter was standing in the lengthening shadows of the early evening. The screen said he was reporting live from Whidbey Island NAS.

“ _... drama was playing out in the San Juans at the same time as victims were being rescued from the ferry accident. From what we've been told a private aircraft with four people aboard developed engine trouble short of their intended destination of the Friday Harbor Airport. The plane ditched into the Straits and this is where the story takes a very dramatic turn. An air ambulance helicopter transporting victims of an auto accident saw the plane go down and diverted to render what aid they could. A Navy SEAL, who was serving as a replacement flight surgeon on the air ambulance, entered the frigid water despite having no equipment. He was able to extract all four of the planes occupants before the plane sank. He miraculously lifted three of the plane crash survivors into the helicopter before the aircraft became too heavy to take on any more weight. While the helicopter rushed it's patients here to Whidbey Island, almost running out of fuel in the process, the unidentified SEAL tried to swim for land. There is no word yet on his fate or the fate of the other passenger. However, we have learned that a body has been recovered with identification awaiting notification of next of kin. The Navy though continues to characterize this as a rescue operation rather than a recovery, which is a very important distinction. Back to you, Maria.”_

As the news program returned to the studio, Hunt contemplated what he had heard. A body has been found. Is it Abbott? Should he tell April and, if so, what should he tell her? The news report had raised more questions than it answered.

“Doctor Hunt?” Murphy looked at him questioningly.

“Leah, let's just keep this to ourselves for now, okay. And change the channel on that damn TV.”

“Keep what to ourselves?” asked Jackson.

“They've recovered a body but we don't know if it's Abbott or not. No sense in telling April until we know something for certain, right?” Hunt answered.

“I agree. No sense in upsetting her any more than she already is if we don't have to.” replied the plastics fellow. He would give anything to spare her this, he thought.

  
  


The King family had been happy for the chance to get away to San Juan Island for a last family vacation before the eldest daughter, Cecilia, graduated from Gonzaga University at the end of the upcoming Fall semester and starting her professional career in Portland immediately afterwards. With the youngest daughter, Tyeisha, entering her Junior year at UW, Dorothea King was anxious to squeeze as much family time in as possible before she and her husband became _empty nesters_. Ophthalmologist Doctor Bernard King had started flying in the military and continued after his exit from the Air Force.

The single engine Cessna he had rented in Spokane had ferried Cecelia and himself safely from Spokane over the Cascades to Seattle's Renton Municipal Airport where they picked up Tyeisha and Dorothea for the relatively short hop to Friday Harbor.

When the Cessna developed engine trouble over the Straits, Doctor King made a quick decision to divert toward the nearest island, Lopez Island, in hopes of making the airfield there. Things went quickly south though and Doctor Bernard King was forced to execute a water landing that would have made a Naval Aviator proud.

He never regained consciousness from the impact that threw him forward so violently that he sustained a severe concussion so he had no way of knowing that he had saved the lives of his family with his quick thinking and skill and a fair amount of luck in the form of Sam Abbott.

Sam's fingers were already too cold to feel for Doctor King's pulse once he had finally freed him from his seat restraints and fought them both to the surface as the Cessna disappeared into the depths. His signal to the helo had been more wishful thinking and a perceived need to bolster the Doctor's daughters hopes, than confirmed science. But alive or not, Sam was going to do everything he could to bring Bernard King home. Even in freezing cold Puget Sound, it was no one left behind.

But now Sam was fighting for his life with a core body temperature dangerously close to causing his heart to stop beating. Wrapped in warming blankets and aboard the speeding Jet Ranger, he would need every ounce of his legendary will to survive. And he would need help too.

Shortly after Sonny Skid lifted the AirCare helo off of Colville rock and began the desperate race toward Bellingham's level III trauma unit, the Navy Nighthawk SAR helo out of Whidbey arrived on station at the plane's crash site. Raising Tarpley on the Naval SAR frequency, they learned they were to recover a body on Colville Island, but somehow it was never communicated to them whether it was Abbott or the plane crash victim on the rock. This unfortunate missed communication contributed greatly to the confusion and heartache that followed.

  
  


April Kepner came out of the procedure room to find that all of her emergent patients were being cared for. She approached the ER station to store the charting tablet and review the board. Satisfied that all was well in her ER, she happened to glance at the TV screen and noted a home renovation show was now displaying on its screen.

“Alright, who changed the channel? Guys, I need to see the news in case there's anything about Sam.” She leaned over the counter to look for the remote, which wasn't in its usual place.

“April.” Arizona rushed into the ER, fresh from a surgery that had tied her up all afternoon. “April, I heard something about Sam rescuing somebody from a plane crash? Is he okay? Are you okay?”

Hunt appeared. “The rescue is still going on. There's no information yet. April, I think it's time for you to sign out. Why don't you go get something to eat with Arizona while we try to get an update.”

“Why? Why wouldn't I try to get an update myself? And why haven't we heard anything? It's been hours now.” April looked around at Arizona, Hunt, Murphy, Karev and Jackson, who was now also present. Their expressions frightened her. “Is that why the TV channel got changed? Did they say something?”

The glances they exchanged answered her question. “What? What did they say?” The panic and fear that she had suppressed throughout the afternoon resurfaced with a vengeance.

“April, you might want to sit.” Jackson said gently.

“No, I don't want to sit. I want you to either tell me what you know or give me the remote so I can see for myself.” April's voice was fraying now.

“April, a few minutes ago they reported that they recovered a body. But they haven't identified anyone yet. It could be the fourth person from the plane.” Hunt revealed.

“Or it could be Sam.” April choked, willing herself not to be sick. “Oh God! Oh God! This can't be happening.”

Alex came to her side. “Look, we don't know what's happening. The Navy is still conducting a rescue mission so they haven't given up hope.”

Arizona appeared at April's other side. “Sweetie, let's go visit the chapel, or get some food, or go up and see Harriet. Alex and Owen and Jackson will try to get some information for you and tell us as soon as they know anything definite.”

“That's a really good idea, April. Go with Arizona and we'll try to make some calls to find out what's going on.” Jackson said gently.

April could only nod and allow Arizona to take her by the arm and lead her toward the elevators.

  
  


Travers switched the AirCare Jet Ranger's radio frequency to the one used by PeaceHealth St Joe. “PSJ, this is AirCare angels flight. We are inbound with a severely hypothermic patient.”

PSJH is a level III trauma center serving Bellingham, WA. Much closer than Grey Sloan, it was Abbott's only chance for survival.

“AirCare, PSJ acknowledging. Confirm severe hypothermia, over.”

“PSJ, confirm, thirty six year old male, core temp 89, we have him wrapped in warming blankets. Please advise.”

“Roger AirCare, hold one.” Thomas Spetzler, trauma resident on duty at PSJ that evening, took a deep breath. In his career he had only dealt with mild hypothermia, certainly nothing like a sub 90 degree core temperature. He paged the on-call Attending. A moment later the phone at the nurses station lit up. Trauma chief Andy Brown was on his way from the on-call room where he had been trying to catch a few minutes of sleep.

Meanwhile, in the cabin of the AirCare helo, Billy Lopez was doing his best to deliver a living patient to PSJH. William Jefferson Lopez was beginning his third year as a flight paramedic with AirCare.

The son of illegal immigrants made legal by the LIFE act, which President William Jefferson (Bill) Clinton signed into law in December of 2000, Billy was saving money for med school, which he hoped to start the following Fall.

An exceptional student, Billy Lopez also possessed an outstandingly instinctive mind. If Bernard King had been fortunate to crash right in front of Abbott, Sam himself was fortunate that his cabin partner that day was Billy Lopez.

Lopez was looking anxiously at the thermometer he had just used to take Abbott's temperature, which stubbornly remained below 90 degrees. Having little personal experience with hypothermia, he nevertheless knew the key was to gradually bring the body's temperature back up before the cold interfered with the electrical impulses the brain sent to maintain the heartbeat. But Billy's resources were limited at the moment to blankets which didn't seem to be doing the job.

When Andy Brown came on the radio net, Billy breathed a sigh of relief.

“AirCare, PSJ, any update on the patient's status?”

Sonny was just about to transmit a result when Billy replied. “PSJ, no change sir. Temp reading still 89°. Please advise.”

“Who am I talking to? Are you the flight surgeon?”

“Negative, sir, I'm the paramedic. The flight surgeon is the patient.”

Brown looked at Spetzler. What the H E double hockey sticks was going on here?

“Okay, son, do you have a name?”

“Yessir, Lopez, sir, Billy Lopez.”

“Okay, Billy, I'm Andy. Any idea how long his temps been depressed?”

“Yessir, he went into the Sound about three hours ago.”

Again Brown stared at Spetzler. That was impossible. He would be dead.

“Son, please confirm, did you say three hours?”

“Affirmative, maybe closer to four.” Billy answered.

Andy Brown was shocked. The waters of the Sound were often cold enough to kill someone in fifteen minutes. But no one aboard the aircraft were contradicting the paramedic so he had to presume the young man was giving him accurate information.

“Alright, Billy, what's your ETA?”

Sonny Skid answered that for his paramedic. “ETA fifteen minutes.”

“Okay, Billy, this is going to be the longest fifteen minutes of your life I'm afraid. First, you have a defibrillator aboard, don't you?”

“Yessir.”

“Then get it ready. His heart should have stopped a long time ago so my guess is that it will soon. Have you started an IV?”

“No sir.”

“So let's do that too.”

“Yessir.” Lopez answered. Billy grabbed an hypotonic IV bag, and prepared to start a drip when suddenly he paused. The bag felt cool in his hands.

“Andy? The IV is cabin temperature.” Billy Lopez said into the radio.

“Yes, so?” was Andy Brown's first reaction. Then he realized what Billy was driving at. He remembered a time long ago when he was a resident and a patient with hypothermia came into the ER. His Attending, Doctor Sheeren, had done something _off-the-books_ , at least at the time, warming the IV bags to help gradually bring the patient's temperature up. It seemed to have worked well. Billy Lopez had just jogged his memory.

“You're right, Billy, do you have any way of warming the IV?”

Lopez thought for a moment. Then he surprised Tarpley by reaching out and slipping the IV bag inside the neck of the SEALs wetsuit. Tarpley looked questioningly at the young paramedic.

“Yes!” Billy answered.

“Good! Just don't warm it too much. See if you can get it up to 90 degrees.” This paramedic is sharp, he thought.

Brown turned to Spetzler. “Get up to the baby barn and borrow as many bottle warmers as they can spare. Grab some interns to help you. I want a series of IV bags warmed up 91-98 degrees stepping one degree at a time.”

But before Tarpley's body could warm the IV sufficiently, Andy Brown's prediction about Abbott's heart stopping came true. Thanks to the preparation though, Tarpley only had to do two compressions before Billy could apply the paddles and restart Abbott's heart.

“ETA ten minutes” announced Travers.

Two minutes later the IV bag was warm enough to hook Abbott up to it.

One minute after that Abbott's heart stopped again. Skid heard Billy call “Clear” behind him. He had been flying the Jet Ranger close to the engine red line all the way from Colville. Now he would ask more of the machine. The helo responded with another 10 knots, putting it right at its  _Never Exceed Speed_ of 130 knots. “Com'n baby.” he whispered to his aircraft. His copilot looked at him anxiously.

  
  


The Navy Nighthawk was airborne again. “Whidbey, SearchHawk2, we have recovered one deceased. Requesting orders, over.”

“SearchHawk2, Whidbey, we are handing over to Coast Guard, Frequency 172.0375 , Channel CG150.”

“Copy, Whidbey. Switching to Frequency 172.0375 , Channel CG150.”

“Coast Guard, Navy SearchHawk2 with you. Squawking 5782, Colville Island.”

“Navy SearchHawk2, Coast Guard Seattle, roger, standby one.” After a moment of silence the Coast Guard came on again with orders for the Navy aircraft. “SearchHawk2, search sector coordinates to follow. Report when on station.”

“Coast Guard, roger. Be advised. We have one body recovered and aboard.”

“SearchHawk2, copy that. Identification of deceased?”

“Unknown at this time.” replied the Navy helo pilot.

The SEALs in the cabin had searched the body for identification and found none. Since only Tarpley had ever actually known Abbott, none of the men aboard the Navy aircraft knew if Abbott was white, black, brown, or something else. And Doctor Bernard King had stayed in good physical condition so it was certainly conceivable that the body aboard the helo was that of a retired Navy SEAL. And Abbott had to be retired, right, or else why would he be up here riding around in an air ambulance? Add to that the body was found in a USN life raft and the logical conclusion was that the Nighthawk had recovered the body of Sam Abbott, USN (ret) and the search effort was now about recovering the body of the crashed plane's pilot.

“SearchHawk2, proceed to search grid. We will detach you to return to base as soon as the Coast Guard rescue helo is refueled and available to relieve you.”

“Roger, SearchHawk2 proceeding to assigned search grid.”

The Navy pilot considered trying to raise Tarpley again but his previous attempt had failed with the AirCare helo seemingly missing from the airwaves as well. He wasn't too worried about that yet, though Puget Sound had been unusually vicious today. Still, he would've liked to get some more information from Tarpley. So instead of trying the AirCare helo again, the pilot dialed Whidbey back in to report they believed they had recovered the body of their Navy SEAL brother in arms and were now reporting to the search grid under the direction of the Coast Guard. Whidbey acknowledged the transmission and the word began to travel through Naval communication channels. In the process, the identify of the deceased went from being a possibility, to a probability, to a tentative identification.

So it was that a stunned Bill Cooper found himself calling Hannah Rogers, still listed on Abbott's personnel record as next of kin, to inform her that Sam Abbott had died a hero, trying to rescue victims of a tragic plane crash.

Naturally, the first person Hannah called was April Kepner.

 


	27. Broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Friends rally to support April as she tries to cope with word that Abbott is gone.  
> Abbott, meanwhile, is recovering well from his near death experience when he learns that miscommunication may have made a bad situation much worse.  
> And a reunion isn't as joyous as he might have hoped.

As though walking through a dream, April made her way toward her office. Arizona and Alex accompanied her. Except it wasn't a dream so much as a nightmare. While part of her struggled to accept that Sam was gone, another part of her protested that it couldn't possibly be true; that God could not possibly be so cruel as to rob her of yet another Samuel.

April had chosen the name Samuel for her doomed son because of it's meaning; _n_ _ame of God; asked of God; heard by God_. And she believed Samuel Abbott had come into her life because her prayers had indeed been heard by God. But once again, God seemed to be mocking her.

She had fought against loving the man. In her mind there were plenty of reasons not to risk it. One obvious one, ironically, was Abbott's propensity for finding himself in dangerous situations and acting heroically in response. It was something she both loved and hated about him. Much the same way she had felt about Jackson's habit of braving fire and flames to rescue others. She had been forced to resign herself to the fact that she had a soft spot for people who acted selflessly to help others.

She had thought that Sam's move to the Reserves and remaining Stateside, away from war and danger, was the answer to that problem, which had led her to put aside that obstacle and freed her heart to overrule her head. And so she had fallen for Sam Abbott. And there was no turning back from that.

But now, Sam had, like Samuel before him, gone where she couldn't go, couldn't touch, couldn't see, and the hole it left in her felt enormous.

She allowed Arizona and Alex to guide her to her office to get her coat and purse so they could take her home. She really wasn't sure what else she should be doing. What were a girlfriend's responsibilities in this situation? Did she even have any? She had no idea. But going home and going to bed sounded good to her right now. Well, not _good_ really. Nothing sounded _good_. But sleep sounded less _bad_ than some of the alternatives.

They reached her office and Arizona went in with her while Alex waited outside the door. Hunt joined him a moment later and they greeted each other with nods. No words were necessary.

  
  


Television screens throughout the hospital were now carrying the latest on the Puget Sound plane crash drama.

“ _Unofficial sources are now saying the body recovered by the Navy late this afternoon is that of the decorated Navy SEAL who entered the frigid waters of the Puget Sound to rescue the four occupants of the plane that went down there. He succeeded in rescuing three of the four occupants of the aircraft but sadly has apparently perished in an attempt to swim the fourth to safety. The Coast Guard had taken charge of the Search now and Maria, I'm afraid hope is dimming for finding that fourth plane crash victim._

_Rob, are they still characterizing this as a Rescue mission?_

_Maria, sad to say my sources now tell me this is a Recovery mission._

_And have they identified the plane's occupants?_

_Not yet, as they appear to be a family I'm sure they would like to find that fourth person before making their identities public. Back to you.”_

  
  


Jackson arrived at April's office “Is she in there?” he asked.

Alex nodded. “Arizona is with her.”

Jackson reached for the door handle but Alex blocked him.

Jackson looked at him in surprise and responded testily. “I just want to talk to her. Make sure she's okay. Let her know that I'm here for her.”

Alex was calm in replying, “That's not a good idea right now. We'll tell her.”

“Who made you April's gatekeeper?”

“Look, dude, I believe you mean well. But it wasn't too long ago that you were doing everything you could to screw them up. So, no, this isn't the right time for you to be trying to be her bff again.”

Jackson was clearly angry that Alex was insinuating that he would try to take advantage of this horrible tragedy but then he saw Owen close ranks with Alex and knew he wasn't going to win this argument. Besides, he had a grudging appreciation that they would draw together to protect April this way and realized that he would have done the same thing given everything that had happened.

“Alright,” he conceded. “please tell her I'll take care of Harriet for as long as she needs me to and if there's anything else I can do, please just let me know.”

  
  


An hour later April was in her bedroom while Arizona boiled water for tea in her kitchen. Alex and Owen sat in the living room. There was a knock on the door and Amelia, Meredith, and Maggie arrived bringing pizza and beer.

“Alex said April likes pizza.” Meredith explained to anyone.

Arizona and Amelia brought April her tea and some pizza and stayed with her in her room. The rest sat around the living room.

“Should we turn on the television and see if there are any updates?” asked Maggie.

“What's the point?” Meredith responded. “If they've already identified he dead body as Abbott, then nothing they'll tell us is very useful.”

So they sat and ate pizza and drank beer and talked about poor April's terribly bad history with tragedy.

  
  


Andy Brown found the three men sitting in the ER waiting room.

“Which one of you is Billy Lopez?” he asked.

“I am sir.” Billy answered, jumping to his feet.

“I'd like to shake your hand, son. You just saved your crewmate's life. You all did.” Brown said, addressing Skid and Travers as well.

“So he's gonna make it?” asked Sonny Skid?

“Yes, he is. We've got his temp back up to 97 now, he's conscious and lucid and wants me to discharge him already. But I want to keep him overnight for observation. Not sure which one of us is going to win that argument. He's pretty persuasive.”

The AirCare crew high fived each other.

Brown addressed Billy again. “Billy, you really did an amazing job. You happen to be thinking med school any time in your future?”

“Yes sir, I am, a year from Fall.”

“Here,” Andy answered, drawing a card from his pocket and handing it to him, “I'd be happy to write you a recommendation. I have a lot of contacts in the area so it might be helpful.”

“Thank you so much, Doctor Brown.”

“As long as you promise to go Trauma.” Andy Brown winked at the young paramedic.

“Yessir, trauma all the way, sir.”

Suddenly the pagers on the belts of all three men went off. Sonny Skid looked at the number and muttered “Oops, AirCare is looking for their helicopter. We'd better get back to the barn. Thanks Doc.”

They all shook hands with Andy Brown.

“Oh, and would you please tell our Navy friends we had to go?”

“Will do.” Brown promised.

  
  


Tarpley figured since Sam was out of danger and asleep in his hospital bed, he could grab a few winks as well. So he made himself as comfortable as possible in his chair, folding his long legs over the wooden arms. He was jostled from his dreamless sleep by the sound of Abbott calling his name.

“Yeah, Chief? What's up?”

“Tarp, what time is it?” Abbott asked.

Tarpley checked his watch. “'Bout 0400.” he answered.

“Crap! We gotta get out of here.”

“Chief, Doc Brown said he wanted to keep you here all night.”

“He did. 0400 hours is morning. Besides, I'm fine.”

“Yeah, less than twelve hours ago you died. Twice. How about we listen to the doctor this time around?”

“Because doctors don't know shit.”

“Really _Doctor_ Abbott?”

“Exactly! If anyone knows it's me.” Sam cried triumphantly.

“Fuck you. You're not going anywhere. I didn't come all this way to fish you out of the drink just to have you croak on the sidewalk out front of a frickin hospital.” Tarpley replied assertively.

That convinced Abbott that Tarpley wasn't going to help spring him from this hospital. He would have to convince Doctor Brown, which to this point had been unsuccessful.

Resignedly, he clicked on the television and clicked through the few channels that were broadcasting at this hour. Finally he settled on an early morning show. After a couple of minutes about some book that was being adapted into a movie, the show cut away for a local news brief. The bulk of it had to do with the ferry vs whale watching boat collision the previous morning.

That report gave way to another about a second tragedy that had occurred on Puget Sound waters. Abbott and Tarpley both sat up as a taped report aired from Whidbey Island NAS.

“ _Authorities have now positively identified one of the victims of the plane crash as Doctor Bernard King. Doctor King was apparently piloting the aircraft when it went down with his wife and two daughters aboard. A Navy SEAL, filling in as a flight surgeon on an air ambulance, was able to rescue the three female passengers and get them aboard the air ambulance, which whisked them to safety. However his attempt to swim with Doctor King to safety ended tragically on Colville Island, where the Doctor's body was found. The unidentified SEAL, is still missing and feared lost as well. The Coast Guard will resume Search and Recovery efforts at first light tomorrow morning._

_Adding to the confusion, it was previously reported that it was the sailor's body that had been recovered but it is now confirmed to be that of Doctor King. We'll stay on top of this and bring you more details as they become available.”_

Abbott and Tarpley looked at each other.

“Tarp.” Abbott said menacingly.

“It's not my fault!” Tarpley exclaimed, though he thought in fact he might be responsible for some of the confusion. He tried to remember what he had told the Navy helo crew.

“I've gotta get out of here.” Sam swung his legs to the side of the bed.

“Roger that.” Tarpley was now onboard.

Sam disconnected his IV and monitor, which of course brought the nurse running. She was powerless to stop the two SEALs. Abbott quickly found the Attending's locker room and borrowed a set of scrubs. He and Tarpley were exiting the room when they ran into Andy Brown.

“Guys, come on. Just a few more hours and I'll cut you loose.” Brown pleaded.

“Can't.” Abbott answered. Then he described the report they had just seen.

“Okay, I see the problem. But you have another problem. How do you plan to go the ninety miles down to Seattle?”

“Oh crap. How are we going to do that?” asked Tarpley.

Abbott cursed. “Damn it!”

Andy Brown smiled. “I think I might have a solution for you.”

Ten minutes later Sam Abbott was in the passenger seat and Tarpley was piloting Andy Brown's silver 2005 Toyota Prius down Interstate 5 toward Seattle considerably faster than Andy had ever driven it.

  
  


April woke up with a start. After a fitful night's sleep she still felt exhausted. She looked at Arizona, who had fallen asleep beside her. Amelia was curled up in a chair in the corner. April eased herself from the bed and crept quietly to the bathroom. She groaned when she saw her reflection in the mirror. Ugh, this was going to be a terrible day.

After using the toilet, brushing her teeth, and briefly trying to tame her out-of-control red hair, she crept from her room to the kitchen. She saw that Alex and Owen were both sprawled on her couches. As quietly as she could she put coffee on. Caffeine was her only hope.

The coffee had just finished brewing when Alex entered the kitchen and stopped a few feet away.

April looked at him.

“You'd think that doctors would know what to say in this kind of situation.” he said quietly. “But I'll be damned if I can think of anything to say to you that will make anything better.”

She took two steps and he held her. Tears that she hadn't cried the previous night now came freely. April sobbed quietly into his chest for a long time. He stood quietly, as though trying to soak up the sadness from her. It was a role he was accustomed to.

Her crying finally subsided. “How about that coffee?” he asked her, as lightly as he could muster.

As she was pouring the coffee into two mugs, her doorbell rang.

She looked toward the front door. “Who could that be?” she asked.

“I'll get it.” Alex told her and went to the door. He saw Owen stirring as well.

He was greeted by someone he didn't recognize. “Good morning. Very sorry for the early interruption but I'm from the local Fox affiliate, Q13 Fox News, and I understand April Kepner lives here and that she has a personal relationship with the SEAL missing in the Puget Sound. I'd like to interview her for our morning newscast.”

“Well she isn't interested,” Karev replied, “in talking to you or any other press vultures. This is a private matter and not for public consumption. So get the hell out of here or I'll give you a story for your morning newscast and it will be about how I kicked your ass all the way to Bellevue. Got it?”

The news reporter didn't stick around to answer, turning and scurrying down the steps toward the news van parked across the street.

Alex slammed the door shut. Owen gave him an approving nod.

The two men joined April at the breakfast bar. She served them all coffee. “Thanks, Alex.”

“Frickin vultures.” he answered.

“Odd thing to say though.” Owen said.

“What?” asked April.

“He said the SEAL was _missing_ in Puget Sound.”

“He did, didn't he?” agreed Alex.

Just then there was a knock on the door.

“Little punk is really asking for it.” Alex said angrily.

“Better let me take care of him.” Owen told the Peds surgeon.

“Why, because of that trouble with DeLuca?”

“No, because I really want to hit someone right now.” answered Owen grimly.

Both men moved purposefully to the door. Owen flung it open and said “Coming back here was the stupidest thing you'll do all week!” Then his mouth dropped open.

“I don't know. I'm capable of some pretty stupid stuff and it's only Tuesday.” said Sam Abbott.

“I'll be God damned.” exclaimed Alex Karev.

“What are you guys doing here anyway?” Abbott asked.

“You're kidding, right?” answered Alex.

But Abbott was no longer paying attention to Karev. April, hearing his voice, had come to stand where she could see him in the doorway, scarcely believing that it was really him. Sam looked at her and suddenly it hit him. She had experienced sixteen hours of hell because of him. Would she be able to forgive him?

“April?” he made to take a step towards her but Owen and Alex both interposed themselves in front of him. If she didn't want him near her they stood ready to keep him away.

After a long minute April finally found her voice. “They said you were dead.” she told him dully.

On the step behind Sam, Roland Tarpley spoke up. “Yeah, Doc, Hi, yeah I think that might have been partly my fault.”

April looked at Tarpley but did not smile or otherwise greet him. She returned her attention to Sam.

“The Navy said you were dead. They said they had picked your body up off a god damned rock in Puget Sound.” Emotion began to find its way back into April Kepner's voice and expression.

Tarpley opened his mouth to try again to accept responsibility for the confusion but shut it at April's sharp glance. “Sorry Chief”, he muttered quietly, “I tried.”

“April, I...” Sam began.

“I've just spent sixteen hours hoping and praying you'd survive after you refused...” she swallowed, “refused to listen to reason and stay in that helicopter, even though I begged you. I begged you, Sam. And then Hannah calls me to tell me you died. You've been dead, Sam. All night long, I thought you were dead. Do you have any idea...?”

“Oh My God!” shouted Arizona as she emerged from April's bedroom and caught sight of Sam. Amelia, following behind her, appeared just as shocked though she remained speechless.

But April's gaze never left Sam Abbott. “You had to be the hero. You had to try to save those people. Did you even think about me? Did it even occur to you that losing you would destroy me?”

“April.” Sam breathed her name like a prayer. But she was having none of it. The weight she had borne through the night had left her exhausted and sad and angry as hell.

“So you did it. You went into the water. And you saved them. Three of them.”

“Three? So the woman made it?” he asked.

“Yes, all three of them survived. You did it. You made a sweet deal out of it. Three for one. You traded your life, and mine by the way, for those three. So it was really three for two. Still in your favor though.”

“April ...”

“And then you managed to miraculously survive. Imagine that! Sam Abbott defies death yet again. But somehow you neglected to find a phone and call. A phone call, Sam? Not even a phone call? So maybe I wouldn't have had to grieve for you all night. You can jump into freezing water and save people from a plane crash but you couldn't find a way to let me know you were still alive?”

“I can explain ...”

“I'm sure you can. You always can. I mean you're a frickin hero. No matter where you go you find a way to be a hero. And that makes me a selfish bitch, doesn't it? Because I don't want you to be a hero any more. I selfishly want you to think of me. I want you to prioritize me over those strangers in trouble. I want you to choose me.” April shook her head as her anger finally degraded to sadness. “And I don't think you ever will. I don't think you can. Your ghosts will never let you do that.”

“April, please. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for putting you through this. Can we talk? Please.”

“I'm not sure there's anything to really talk about.” she answered. Suddenly she realized how much it sounded like Jackson saying he wasn't sure they were worth fighting for. Was this God's plan? Did He want to drive home yet another point about her poor decisions in the past? Was she finally feeling like she could be happy again? Was that the problem? That she hadn't suffered enough?

At her words, Sam's face twisted in fear. He realized the enormity of the hurt he had inflicted on her. Now he had to find some way to fix it. But how? A voice in his head whispered a suggestion. _Give her what she wants; what she needs._

“April, I swear to you I will never do that again. I'm done with the dramatic rescues, putting my life on the line, chasing my ghosts.”

April looked at him, gauging the sincerity of his words. “You see, that's the problem. That's part of who you are. And if I ask you to change it, that makes me even more of a selfish a-hole. And if you did, would I even love you as much any more?”

“April, you're kind of making this a no win situation here. What can I do to fix this?”

“I'm not sure you can fix this, Sam.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter leaves Sampril in a tough spot. Can April really ask Abbott to change the way he lives his life? Does it make her selfish to do so? And would she really like it if he did?  
> And I really hope this chapter did a good job of showing the GS crowd rally around April to support and protect her in a way they failed to do so horribly during S13.
> 
> Hope you're happy with the way this is going. We are getting oh so close to the end now.  
> Thanks for joining this very long journey. Please consider commenting as well. I really enjoy the feedback and dialogue.


	28. Repercussions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abbott's return from the dead forces April to confront a harsh reality that has huge implications for her relationship with Sam.  
> Both April and Abbott receive advice before they try to come to an understanding.  
> Abbott has a plan. But will the incident in the Puget Sound derail it just as it comes to fruition?

After leaving April's porch, Abbott and Tarpley drove Doctor Brown's Prius over to Sam's apartment.

“Damn it. I left everything in the helo.” Abbott said when he realized he had no way to enter the building.

“Is there a super?” asked Tarpley.

So they rang the buzzer for the building manager, who didn't appreciate having his breakfast interrupted, but nevertheless came down with his master key to admit them into the building and Abbott's apartment.

Abbott changed out of the PSJH scrubs he had borrowed while Tarpley began calling around to see where both his and Abbott's stuff had ended up. That turned out to be the AirCare base in Tacoma so the men again hopped into the Bellingham trauma surgeon's car to go fetch Abbott's clothes and belongings and Tarpley's seabag of equipment.

Upon arriving at the AirCare office Abbott was notified that he was no longer needed to fill in as a flight surgeon and thanked for his help. Disappointed, but not surprised, the two SEALs left the building and Tarpley immediately began needling Abbott about getting fired after just one day on the job.

They ran into Sonny Skid and Billy Lopez in the base parking lot. Tarpley had filled Abbott in on everything they had done to save his life and Sam thanked both AirCare men.

Two hours later they were back at Abbott's apartment, Sam had called both Hannah and Bill Cooper to check in and report he was none the worse for wear. The Navy and Coast Guard were given notice that the search could be called off and the heroic SEAL was alive, though not completely well.

Tarpley also checked in, got an earful about the lack of effective communications and ordered to report to Whidbey that afternoon for a return to Coronado aboard the Admiral's Citation. His welcome in Coronado would be warm but not in a good way.

When Tarpley announced it was time for him to leave, it surprised Abbott because he still had plenty of time to spare before the Citation would lift off from Whidbey Island. But Tarpley said he wanted to get some work done before he took off so he bade goodbye to Abbott and out the door he went. Sam then made some phone calls to see if he could figure out how to get Andy Brown's car back to him.

Meanwhile, the events in Puget Sound the previous day soon found themselves being elbowed aside in the news by the eclipse phenomenon gripping the nation. With one significant exception that is. A reporter from Stars and Stripes, the American military tabloid, was dispatched to gather material for a story about Sam Abbott, Navy SEAL, who had somehow pulled off the impossible rescue of three civilians and lived to tell about it.

  
  


Against April's objections, Bailey insisted she take the day off. So she went back to bed and slept for four hours. Though she woke up still lethargic, she forced herself to climb out of bed and do something. Something ended up being cleaning her apartment. Her support group did manage to leave a mess of beer bottles and pizza boxes throughout the place. She didn't even want to guess why one quarter full pizza box was next to the bathroom sink.

But for an efficient neat freak like April, cleaning could only occupy so many minutes and soon she found herself wandering around again looking for something else to do. She tried making a grocery list but she had just shopped Saturday and it was only Tuesday so her list was all of two items, neither of which she really needed. She looked for her stack of bills to pay and realized she was already up-to-date with those too.

She was just about to put in a call to Bailey begging to be allowed to come to work when her doorbell rang. She crept to the peephole, hoping she could pretend no one was home if it was Abbott or a reporter or someone else she'd rather not see right now. Peering through the viewer she was surprised to see Roland Tarpley had returned. For ten seconds she debated whether or not to answer the door, finally groaning in resignation and reaching for the knob.

“Hi Doc.” Tarpley greeted her. He was in his Type II Navy Working Uniform and his seabag was on his shoulder.

“Tarpley.” April answered coolly. She knew he was probably there to plead Abbott's case and frankly, she didn't want to hear it. If Sam put him up to this it was only going to make it worse.

As if reading her mind, Tarpley began, “Doc, I know what you're thinking. I'm not here to fix anything or because the Chief asked me to be here.”

April's eye's narrowed. “Then why are you here?”

Tarpley looked uncomfortable. In her present mood, April could live with that.

“I'm here because I think you should know the whole story. You need to hear it. It might have some bearing on some of the things you said to Abbott this morning.”

“Didn't you just say you weren't here to fix anything for Abbott?”

“Yes, ma'am I did. And I'm not. It's just that I'm on a plane in a couple of hours and you need to hear this before I leave.”

April considered this for a moment, sucking her cheek in between her teeth. Finally, she relented. “Okay, Ro, I'll hear your story. But don't think you're doing Abbott any favors.” She stepped aside to let him in.

“Fair enough.” replied the tall SEAL, stepping past her into the apartment.

  
  


Once Sam's phone finished charging he began trying to call April every twenty minutes or so. But every time it would ring once or twice and then go to voicemail. He didn't have to be a brain surgeon to know she was refusing his calls. At first he tried leaving messages...

_April, please talk to me. I'm so so sorry. Please. Please!_

_April, I'm begging you. Please talk to me._

_It's me. Will you please just answer?_

Then he got a little frustrated and it started to show in his messages.

_April, really? This is silly._

_April, answer the damn phone please._

_Come on!_

Finally, he resorted to humor.

_It was a really hot day. I went for a swim. What's the big deal?_

_Jackson told me you had a thing for guys that jump out of helicopters. Was he lying?_

_I would have been home a lot sooner but the only car we could borrow was a Prius._

He had moved into the desperation phase when her voicemail filled up.

_April, I don't know what to do to fix this._

_April, I love you. I hope you .._

Damn it! Sam Abbott found himself in an unusual position. He had no idea what to do next.

  
  


“So what is it you think I need to hear?” asked April as she served Tarpley the coffee she had offered and he had accepted.

“First, it really was my fault that things got so screwed up with the reports and misidentification and all.” Tarpley proceeded to tell April his whole part of the story, how the Admiral had hastily assembled a small team, and Tarpley had forced his way onto it, and flown quickly up to take part in the search for Abbott. He told her about joining the AirCare crew and how they had been lucky enough to find Sam still alive. How he neglected to give the Navy the identity of the body they were picking up and how that started the whole mess with thinking Sam had died. He told her how a paramedic named Billy had revived Sam twice to deliver him alive to the hospital in Bellingham where they finished bringing him back to life. He pointed out that by the time they knew Sam would be okay, they realized they had no phone numbers to call to get word to her and so instead had made their way back as quickly as they could.

Through the whole story, April remained expressionless, save when Tarpley revealed that Sam's heart had stopped not once but twice. At that she had been unable to keep herself from reacting. “How? How could he possibly have survived that long in that water? His heart should have stopped long before that.”

Tarpley shook his head. “I'm not a Doctor but I heard them talking about it at the hospital in Bellingham. They were only guessing but they thought it probably a combination of Abbott's fitness, that he never stopped swimming, and an unusually hot day that warmed the top few feet of water just enough to not drive his temperature below the point of no return. I don't know, maybe they're right.”

April shook her head. “Maybe. But it's still a miracle that he lived.”

Tarpley looked at the trauma surgeon intently. “A miracle. Yeah, that's what I think too. I think it was a real, honest to God, frickin miracle.”

April stared at the SEAL. “Ro, what are you saying?”

“I'm saying I believe we are all put on this earth with a purpose. Some people live their purpose more so than others mind you, but we all have a purpose nonetheless. Take you for instance. Your purpose is to save lives in that ER. It's what you do, day in and day out. It's so much a part of you that you probably couldn't imagine yourself not doing it.”

April nodded slowly. “Okay.” she acknowledged.

“Well Abbott's purpose is the same deal right? He's even a trauma surgeon just like you. But for whatever reason God also led him to the Navy. Look at the lives he's saved there too, including both of us in this room. And then there's the shit that just happens around him; plane crashes and ambulance explosions and shit. April, I think it's all because God wants him there. He knows Sam will always answer the call. It's part of him, like you said this morning. It's his purpose.”

April digested Tarpley's hypothesis. “So you're saying Sam is some kind of divine life preserver?'

Tarpley smiled. “Just a theory. But _divine life preserver_? I like it.”

April allowed herself a thin smile. “A theory that puts God firmly on Abbott's side instead of mine.”

His smile broadened. “Well, I suppose that's true, now that you mention it.”

April's eyes narrowed. Tarpley knew her well enough to hit her right where she lived. “Why do I feel like I just got ambushed by a SEAL?”

“A SEAL ambush? Must have been a good one then.” Tarpley answered, still smiling broadly.

She got up to go into the kitchen, buying time to collect her thoughts. “So I should just forgive and forget about the hell he put me through in the last twenty-four hours?” she asked.

“Doc, are you asking my advice?” Tarpley asked her.

April's gave the SEAL a look. “Does it matter? Aren't you going to give it to me any way?”

“Affirmative, ma'am, just surprised it's going to be this easy.” he grinned.

“Go on.” April relented, resigned to the inevitable.

“Well, if I were you, I'd let him stew for a few more hours maybe. Really think about the consequences of his stupidity. Then, I'd give him a chance to grovel a little, explain and beg for your forgiveness and such. Make sure he knows he'd not allowed to sacrifice himself anymore, unless it's with your permission, you know, in case you get tired of him and decide you want to run off with someone much better looking and smart enough not to get himself killed off or otherwise separated from you, like me for instance.”

April rolled her eyes but couldn't keep from smiling at Tarpley.

“And once he's agreed to your terms, I'd just make sure to keep reminding him that the world is full of guys who would be happy to swoop in and take you away from him any old time you say the word.”

“Tarp, with that kind of wisdom, how is it that you remain unattached?” April inquired.

“Aww Doc, Abbott is God's gift to those in need of saving. I'm God's gift to women everywhere. It would be terribly selfish of me to restrict myself to just one of you.”

And April found herself laughing for the first time since Sam reported for Flight Surgeon duty the previous day.

  
  


When his doorbell rang, Sam jumped up to answer it, praying it was April coming to give him a chance to explain, apologize, and promise it would never happen again. But he was surprised and disappointed to find Jackson Avery on his doorstep instead.

“Can I come in?” asked his boss.

Abbott stepped aside to invite him into his sparsely furnished apartment.

“Want anything to drink?” Abbott offered.

“No, no thanks. I've just got a few minutes before I have to get back to the hospital.” Jackson answered.

“Yeah, sorry you guys have to cover for me. But AirCare says they don't need me anymore so I can come back to the hospital tomorrow if you want.”

“We're fine but April may want you to cover the pit.” answered Avery.

Abbott shook his head. “Not sure April will want me around for awhile.” he admitted.

Jackson looked at Abbott. “You did cause her a lot of grief, literally.”

Abbott shook his head again. “I know. I sure didn't intend to.”

“Take it from someone who knows, that intent or lack of it doesn't count for much.”

Abbott looked at Jackson. “I guess you do know. That year must have been hell.”

Jackson met his gaze. “It was. It truly was. Especially that last couple of weeks when I didn't know if she was alive or dead or … It was bad. I don't think I've ever really recovered from it.”

“You think she will?” Sam asked him.

“Yes. Yes I do. For one thing, she's in a better place, you're both in a better place than we were when she left. And she is much stronger than I am, so you have that going for you.”

“But she loved you. It was really easy to see.”

“And she loves you now. And it's really easy to see. You've just got to be there for her, you know. She .., I really wounded her when I pushed the divorce on her.” Jackson shook his head sadly. “You probably don't know but my father abandoned my mother and I when I was really young. And I still haven't gotten over it. I still can't seem to shake the fear that if I let myself love someone, or let them love me, they'll end up leaving me in the end.”

Abbott stared at Jackson, now understanding more fully how April's trip to Jordan must have profoundly impacted him.

Jackson continued. “Now, I think everything that has happened between us, and also the two of you, has kind of transferred that fear to April.”

Abbott nodded. “She has told me she wouldn't be able to stand having me deployed again and being forced to wait and wonder where I was and whether I'm okay or not.”

“Yeah, there's the irony, right? But I understand it. Just this little adventure almost destroyed her. But at least there will be no more deployments. And she does love you. I think once she's had a chance to recover her balance, she'll come around. Keep reaching out but be patient. Give her time. You know she's worth it.”

Abbott replied. “I do.”

Jackson looked toward the door. “Okay, well, I better get back before Bailey decides the hospital runs just fine without me and cuts my budget by one plastics chief.”

“Jackson, why? Why come here to deliver this pep talk? Doesn't seem to serve your purposes.”

Jackson Avery considered a moment before answering, “Because, Sam, when you love someone you want what's best for them, even if it's not what you want for yourself. I think you know that. I think you did the same thing when you first showed up here last year. And I do love her. And I think what's best for her now is you. Provided of course you don't fuck it up. Don't fuck it up, Sam.” Jackson cautioned him, and then let himself out.

  
  


April came around the corner holding Harriet and found Abbott sitting on her porch in the dying light of the day. She paused and looked at him expectantly.

“April, can we talk?” it was a plea.

“Not sure I'm ready to talk to you yet, Sam.” she answered honestly.

He nodded and stood up. He would withdraw and give her the space she needed, or so he thought. But Harriet smiled and threw herself toward him with her arms outstretched and that decided the matter. Sam caught her in his arms and squeezed her as she giggled and threw her arms around his neck.

Betrayed by my own daughter, April thought. She shifted Harriet's heavy diaper bag from her shoulder to his and went by him to unlock the door. Sam grinned and blew raspberries against Harriet's cheek as she squealed in delight.

Neither said a word to the other as April put away Harriet's things and got her dinner together while Sam kept her entertained. Once Harriet was secured in her highchair, April allowed Sam to feed her while she went and poured herself a glass of wine and looked on from the breakfast bar.

When Harriet was done, April moved in to take away her bowl and spoon and carrot orange stained highchair tray. Sam picked up the equally orange stained Harriet and held her until April was ready to take her to her bath.

Some time later, April brought the onesie clad Harriet out to kiss Sam goodnight then left him to sit by himself for awhile longer. Finally, April reappeared without her daughter and Sam knew that Harriet had at last succumbed to sleep.

April topped off her half empty wine glass and then turned to Abbott.

“Okay. Talk.”

He took a deep breath. “First, I'm sorry.”

April interrupted him. “That's a good place to start. What exactly are you sorry for, Sam?”

“Everything. Putting you through that.” he answered.

“So if you had it to do over again, you would have stayed in the helo?” April queried.

“Well, no.” Abbott admitted.

“So you're not sorry.”

“I am though.”

“Clearly you're not.” April countered.

“Okay, yes, I'm not sorry I saved those people. I am sorry that it caused you so much pain.” Sam replied, realizing suddenly that maybe he wasn't as ready for this as he thought he was.

“So what you're saying is that you're sorry that I care for you and don't want to lose you.”

“No, of course I'm not saying that. You're kind of twisting this around here aren't you?”

“Am I? So this is my fault then?”

“No, April, please. You know I'm not saying that.” Sam was starting to panic, thinking he should have heeded Jackson's advice and given her a little more time. “Can we start again? I'm sorry that what I did caused you so much pain. I never want to do that.”

April looked at him, her expression betraying nothing of her emotions, which was unusual for her and unnerving to him. “You never want to do that but you just said you'd do it all over again.”

“Yes. Because, April, there really was no other choice to be made.”

“Because of the situation.”

“Right. If not me, then who?”

April considered for a moment. “So what it comes down to is that if I want a life with you, I need to accept that you may make these decisions sometimes. I need to accept the risk that I might lose you.”

“Well, I wouldn't expect this stuff to happen too often but yeah.” Abbott replied. “I can't change who I am.”

“And I can't change who I am either. And I don't know how I can accept that risk for Harriet.”

“I'm actually counting on who you are.” Sam answered her.

“What do you mean?” she asked.

“I know you April. You crawl into wrecks to pull people to safety. You extend your tours in war zones to care for your team. You don't leave people behind either. You're a soldier too.”

  
  


Abbott went home that night not knowing if he'd hurt his case or helped it by showing up on April's porch. He did take it as a positive sign that she took him up on his offer to report to the ER the following morning.

A second even more positive sign came mid morning when she found him charting in a procedure room and wordlessly embraced him for several moments. Finally she broke off and whispered something he couldn't quite make out before leaving him alone  again. He may have feared the worst were it not for the glance and smile she gave him as she strode out through the doorway.

He withheld being too hopeful though until lunchtime when she came and joined him at his table and immediately stole a french fry from his plate. That allowed him to finally breath easier.

  
  


The next day the Stars and Stripes reporter arrived to interview Abbott. As the interview concluded, the reporter indicated the story would be printed in the following week's edition and promised to send Abbott a copy.

  
  


Friday night Sam and April had their first date since the Puget Sound incident. Sam was up and out of bed early Saturday. When April inquired as to why he would want to leave her bed, his answer was suspiciously evasive. It amused her that Abbott, though trained and adept at keeping military secrets, was so poor at concealing it when he had some clandestine personal project he was working on. But April kindly decided to let him keep his little operation on the down low and he escaped her place without revealing any classified information.

In his excitement he was thirty minutes early to his ten o'clock appointment at Green Lake Jewelry Works in Old Bellevue. By eleven o'clock he exited the premises, having commissioned a custom design for the engagement ring he intended to give April Kepner the following week.

He had been nervous about doing a custom design but Hannah had encouraged him to make the effort, and suggested a few designs for starting his thought processes. She hadn't told him but her biggest fear had been that he'd give April something with that damn SEAL trident on it. She would be happy to find, he reflected as he climbed into his car, that the design he had helped create contained neither elements borrowed from the military nor from any hospital symbology.

He was in the homestretch of the proposal plan he had initiated weeks earlier when he had Facetimed the entire Kepner clan in Moline and asked for Joe and Karen's blessing to ask their daughter to marry him. Having secured that crucial permission, Sam's next quest was for the perfect place to propose. He had immediately ruled out the Space Needle and Pike Place Market as too touristy. Nor did he want to propose in a restaurant since he and April were more beer garden diners than fancy sit down types. He thought briefly about proposing on the Bainbridge Ferry as it made its traverse to the island but had to drop that since it dripped with reminders of their most recent crisis. Finally, he had narrowed his choices down to two, Alki Beach and Kerry Park. After much consideration, Sam had settled on Kerry Park at dawn.

April herself had unwittingly tipped the scale in its favor by asking Sam if she could begin running with him. Intimidated at first, she had finally decided it would be a wonderful challenge to her running if she made Sam her running partner. She knew he would push her beyond her comfort zone. So for weeks now they had been running three or four mornings a week, building mileage and difficulty as they progressed.

Just last week, they had conquered Lower Queen Anne Hill, which is topped by Kerry Park, and April had gushed, as well as she could as she gulped the crisp morning air, about the incredible views it rewarded those who made it up there with.

So, after picking up the ring Wednesday, Sam planned to pop the question Sunday morning as the sun rose off the shoulder of Rainer and bathed the entirety of Seattle in her first light. He thought April might forgive him for proposing while she recovered her breathing and perspired profusely.

  
  


Wednesday Sam returned home with the ring. It was perfect. He willed his heart to stop beating so hard. But for once, Sam wasn't able to control himself.

He found a copy of Stars and Stripes in his mailbox as he entered his building. He noted the picture on the cover was one taken as he received the Navy Cross. He tossed the magazine onto the counter and promptly forgot about it, preferring to sit and stare again at the engagement ring he would give to April in just a few days time. It would have taken an RPG to wipe the smile of his face.

Or a phone call.

Like the one he received Friday afternoon.

When it was over he could only stare at his phone for a long minute. Then, Sam Abbott, Navy Cross recipient, hero to many, strong and stalwart, sank to the floor and gave way to tears.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That phone call brought Abbott to his knees.  
> What could possibly do that?  
> Any guesses?
> 
> Thanks for reading and comments, as always, are most welcome.


	29. Separation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> April is stunned when she learns that Abbott has inexplicably resigned from Grey Sloan.  
> But his explanation is even more stunning, particularly for what it means for April.

Saturday morning April walked into the ER and found it quiet, which wasn't unusual for this early on a weekend morning. She had almost made it to the nurse's station when her cell phone began vibrating in her coat pocket. She was surprised to see it was Bailey calling. It must be important for the Chief of Surgery to call so early on a Saturday off.

“Yes, Chief?” April answered.

“Kepner, do you have any idea why Sam Abbott would call me at eight AM on a Saturday morning to resign his position?”

“Wha..What? That's impossible. There must be some mistake.”

“So this has nothing to do with you?” Bailey sounded very irked.

“No. I don't know anything about it. It must be a mistake.” April's head swam. What the heck was this about?

“Avery then?”

“No, I don't think so. Abbott said Jackson has been great lately. Chief, this is impossible. Sam wouldn't resign without telling me first.”

“Kepner, I spoke with the man not five minutes ago. He was perfectly clear.”

“But this is crazy! Let me talk to him. I'm sure there's a perfectly good explanation. I'll find out what's going on.”

“See that you do. Kepner. If I don't hear different from him by Monday morning, I'll be submitting the paperwork.”

“Yes, Chief, I...” April realized Bailey had already hung up.

She walked briskly toward the conference room, concurrently calling up Abbott's number. He picked up on the second ring.

“April.”

“Sam, what the hell is going on? Bailey called me first thing to tell me you've resigned!”

There was a momentary pause on the other end then April heard a muffled “Shit.” as though Abbott had been trying to cover the microphone and done it poorly.

“April? April, I'm sorry. I was about to head over to your place. I forgot you had taken a Saturday shift today.”

“Sam, are you saying Bailey had it right? Sam, did you resign?” April's confusion began to give way to panic.

“April. I can't... we can't talk about this on the phone. What time are you off? I'll come over then and explain.”

“Sam! What are you doing?” April was practically yelling now.

“Not over the phone, April. Call me when you get off and I'll come over.”

“Sam!” But she realized that, like Bailey before, he had disconnected on her.

April debated calling him back throughout the rest of the day but she knew that it would be fruitless. Sam Abbott had done this crazy thing and was determined to make her wait for his in person explanation. As much as she loved the man, he was sure infuriating sometimes.

  
  


Shortly after noon April was surprised to see Jackson walk in, carrying Harriet.

“Hey.” he said when April saw them and came over.

“Hey.” she answered him. “Hey little love bug.” she said to her daughter, who reached for her.

As she collected her daughter from Jackson, she looked at her ex. “What are you doing here on your day off?” she asked.

“Just stopped by to check on a Labyrinthectomy I performed yesterday. Then, we are heading to the beach for some major sand action.” He reached out to tickle Harriet, who squealed in response.

“Sand action, huh? You are a brave man. It will take hours to clean her up afterwards. Make sure she doesn't eat any either. And sunscreen, lots and lots of Water Babies, and try to keep her covered too.”

“April, come on, this isn't our first beach rodeo. We got it, okay?” Jackson smiled at her. April's mothering instincts were always in high gear.

“I know. I know. I just wish I could go too.” She handed Harriet back to him.

After a moment's consideration she decided to ask him. “Jackson, has Abbott said anything to you about planning anything?”

Jackson looked at her quizzically, mistaking her intention. “Uh, no, but then it's not like he'd be likely to include me in that sort of thing, now would he?”

It took a second for April to realize he thought she meant a proposal plan. “No,” she shook her head, “not that kind of plan. Did he say anything about leaving Grey Sloan?”

“What? No. Why?” Jackson asked in astonishment.

“Because apparently he resigned this morning.”

“What? That's crazy! He would have told you.”

“No, he didn't. He just said he'd explain tonight.”

“I can't believe it. Do you suppose Seattle Pres made him some incredible offer? Or some other hospital maybe?” Jackson speculated. “I can make some calls if you want.”

“No, don't worry about it. I'll know in a few hours anyway. I was just curious if he'd said anything.”

“Figure you'd be the first one he say anything to.” Jackson replied.

“You'd figure.” April answered. But actually, Bailey had been the first. And that fact alone was driving her crazy.

  
  


Fortunately for her, the ER got and stayed busy throughout the afternoon and the hours flew by. Before she knew it, she had reached the end of her shift. She made herself wait until she had changed and retrieved her purse before she pulled her phone out and called Sam Abbott.

He answered on the first ring this time. “April.” His voice sounded weary, as though he were the one who had just worked a long shift in the pit.

“Sam. I'm about to leave the hospital. How about I pick up some pizza and come by your place?”

She heard his hesitation.

“No, that's not going to work. I'll come to you.” he answered cautiously. She could tell he was choosing his words carefully, so as not to tip anything off. The realization made her a little sick to her stomach. She made an effort to quell the alarms that were going off in her head.

“Okay, give me an hour and I'll have the pizza waiting at my place.”

“I'll be there in an hour then. Don't worry about pizza for me.” he answered and the call disconnected abruptly again. The fear bubbling up in her now threatened to make her vomit. This was no surprise career move. This was bad news.

She turned everything over in her mind a dozen times as she drove home. Her appetite for pizza had evaporated so she went directly to her apartment to prepare herself for whatever difficult thing Abbott was bringing to her.

Fortunately, traffic was relatively light, leaving her with plenty of time to reach her home, change into comfortable clothes, and pour herself a glass of wine to aid her in getting control of her emotions. She even had time to check her messages and saw that Jackson had texted a few pictures of Harriet happily playing in the sand.

Finally she heard the knock on the door that she had been waiting for, and dreading. Draining her wine glass she set it down on the counter and walked to answer it. Abbott stood before her but instead of his usual crooked smile, his expression was neutral and his brilliant blue eyes lacked the intensity they normally had when they looked upon her. In its place April recognized a sadness that she'd only seen a few times before, for instance when Sam had described the day he lost Amy.

She tried to maintain a facade of lightness to hide her growing fear. “Come on in. I decided not to get pizza but if you're hungry I can whip something up pretty quickly.”

Sam stepped inside but stopped just inside the door, making no effort to give her the usual hug and kiss.

“Uh, no thanks. I won't be here long. I can't stay...long.” He stared at the floor.

April nodded and closed the door behind him. She took a few steps toward the living room but stopped when she noticed he wasn't following. The alarms in her head were blaring loudly now. “Not even coming to sit? So this is really bad then. Isn't it?”

Sam nodded. “It is.”

“Better just get it out there then,” she answered, bracing herself, “so we can deal with it.”

Abbott took a deep breath. “I'm leaving, April.” he said finally, avoiding eye contact with her.

“What? Leaving?”

“Yes, leaving..., leaving Seattle.” he paused. His eyes locked with hers. “Leaving you.” he finished, his voice breaking on the last word.

April stood frozen in place, blinking her eyes as though to clear away the confusion she felt at what she was hearing from him. It was so unexpected, so out of left field, she felt sure she must have misunderstood him.

“Leaving me? Did you say you were leaving me?” she whispered.

But Abbott's ability to form words had abandoned him. He could only nod weakly and try desperately to keep from breaking down for the fourth time in the last twenty-four hours. His day long preparation for this moment hadn't been enough to carry him through this as cleanly as he had hoped for.

He saw April's expression of shock and disbelief and knew he had to find a way to complete his mission here. He reached into the pocket of his light jacket and withdrew a folded piece of paper. Wordlessly, he handed it to her.

She received it from him wondering if he had written her a letter to explain this unfathomable action. Unfolding it though, she saw from the letterhead that this was not something Sam Abbott had written. It was addressed to Chief Petty Officer Samuel Abbott, from the United States Department of the Navy. She read a few lines and looked up at Abbott.

“This says you're being activated.” she exclaimed.

“For immediate deployment.” he answered.

April read the rest of the letter. “They can't do this.”

“Of course they can. I have more than a year left on my contract.”

“But the Admiral said..”

“April, it's out of his hands. Bill Cooper called me Friday to warn me. Szymanski went to the mat to try to keep it from happening but it came from above him.”

“I thought he was in charge of SEALs.”

“He is.” Sam explained. “But this came from much higher up. Bill said it came down from the White House.”

“The White House? You're telling me the President is deploying you?”

“Yeah, as crazy as that seems.”

April shook her head. “This has to be a mistake. Why would the President be so interested in you?”

Abbott paused before answering. April was not going to like his explanation. “Because of the plane rescue thing.”

“Whaaat?” she exclaimed.

Abbott hurried through the explanation in hopes of limiting the damage. “Apparently someone on the President's staff read the Stars and Stripes article and brought it to his attention. Someone started asking why a highly trained SEAL asset was flying around saving civilians in the Pacific Northwest when the SEALs are so shorthanded trying to chase bad guys around the world. The timing was particularly bad because the President had just made a statement that we'd need to send more guys to Afghanistan in order to defeat the Taliban once and for all and the SEALs are already stretched really thin.”

“So the President ordered you activated and deployed?”

“Yes.”

April stared at the letter without reading the words. “Well, if the Admiral can't get you out of it then your doctor can. All he has to do is tell them your PTSD is too bad to send you back.” Ironic that PTSD should be the thing that saves the day, she thought.

“April, my doctor has already signed off on it. I've been classified as _Field Treatable_. That means they will deploy me and make me report to a shrink wherever I end up stationed.”

“But that's total BS.” April exclaimed.

“April, when stuff like this comes down from the White House, people fall in line.”

“Those people in the White House are idiots.” she cried.

“That idiot is still the Commander-in-Chief and I'm still in the military of the United States so it doesn't matter what we think. I have to deploy.”

“There must be some appeal process.”

“These are orders, not a criminal sentence.”

“So that's it? You're going? That's all there is to it?” April asked desperately.

“Yes.” Sam answered simply. There was more to it yet but he was in no hurry to get to that part.

“When?” she asked.

“I leave for Coronado tomorrow. They'll ship me out next weekend.”

“Not wasting any time, are they?”

“No, they're not.”

“You'll be gone a year?” she asked, her voice cracking as she contemplated her worst Abbott nightmare.

“Three hundred, eighty-five days left on my service contract.” he answered. But that was moments away from being a moot point, he knew.

“Okay.” April breathed. A little over a year. A year of waiting and wondering where he was and whether he was safe or not. A year of watching for news about Navy SEALs in action in far away places and wondering if Sam was there too. A year of waiting for infrequent phone calls and email and relearning how to write old school letters. A year of nightmares and loneliness and anger at the unfairness of it all.

But she was April Kepner and she loved Sam Abbott and already she was gathering the strength she'd need to face it all. It would be hard. But she had done hard before. “Okay, we'll just have to make the best of it. We can do this. And at least we have tonight.”

Like April, Abbott was trying to muster his strength. But for an entirely different reason.

“No, April, I'm afraid you don't understand.” he said sadly. “When I said I was leaving you, I meant it. I have to leave and you have to let me go. And I won't be coming back to you.”

“What?” she asked, unable to process what he had just told her.

“I won't be coming back, April.”

His words slammed into her with the same force as those of Jackson's two years earlier when he had told her that he wouldn't be there when she came home if she returned to Jordan a second time.

  
  


Abbott settled into seat 14C for the flight to San Diego. He hadn't slept in almost 48 hours, since answering Bill Cooper's call Friday afternoon. He closed his eyes though he knew he wouldn't be sleeping for the two and a half hours it would take Alaska Airlines to get him from Seattle to San Diego.

With sleep not an option, instead he just tried to clear his mind and at least give that some rest. But he soon realized that wasn't going to happen either. Against his will, the events of the last twenty-four hours began to play back in his head.

  
  


Bailey had agreed to meet him at the hospital early that morning. She had refrained from asking him for an explanation as he had signed the necessary forms. He could tell she was angry though. For one thing, he was leaving her in the lurch without giving notice. She ran a tight ship and didn't appreciate that kind of boat rocking. Also, Chief Bailey had been the one who had come up with the idea of having Sam split time between Trauma and Plastics and had brokered the supervision solution with the Board, all as a favor to Abbott, knowing he missed Trauma.

Finally, Abbott strongly suspected Bailey was furious at him for a deeply personal reason as well. Always a leader who valued the people she led, Bailey had returned the loyalty April Kepner had shown her, by promoting April to Head of Trauma. April had shined in the position, which in turn reflected particularly well back on Bailey. A mutual respect and loyalty had grown between the two women and now Sam Abbott was abandoning them both. Miranda Bailey was not pleased.

Once Abbott completed the paperwork, he stood and made ready to leave but his getaway stalled under Bailey's glare. “Now would you care to explain yourself or do you have so little gratitude and respect for us that you don't feel we deserve it?”

“Chief, I think I told you already. I've been activated and am being deployed next week. I am extremely grateful for everything.”

“Hmm. You are aware, aren't you, that we are required by law to hold your job for you in these circumstances?”

“I am.” he answered, knowing full well where she was going with this.

“Yet, you are resigning your position. I can only assume you are not planning on returning to us then.”

Here we go again, thought Sam. “That is correct.”

Bailey's expression clearly betrayed her anger now.

“You are going to leave her after everything you've put her through?” she accused.

“Chief, I...”

“What is wrong with you? Really, what the hell is wrong with you? She is a good woman. Far more than you deserve. And you are just going to disappear?”

“I'm just trying to do what's best for us both.”

“Get out of my office! Get the hell out of my hospital, now, before I forget I'm a Christian on Sunday.”

Abbott did as he was told but stopped at her door. He had to try. “Chief, I just want to say...”

But Bailey cut him off. “I don't care what you want to say. You're no hero to me.”

And Abbott left the battlefield, wounded and in full retreat.

  
  


Sam rubbed his tired eyes. He briefly considered ordering a cocktail in hopes that it would help him blot out the memory of his final conversation with April. There was really no reason for him not to start drinking again, was there? So what if it made him more susceptible to the darkness? Like he told April, he would need some of that darkness again soon. If only it hadn't felt so good to put it aside for these last several months. But where he was headed, the light that was April Kepner was more dangerous than any PTSD.

  
  


“What do you mean you won't be coming back?” she had asked.

The tone in her voice had made the small hairs on the back of his neck stand up, it was so pregnant with fear. He knew he was about to rip her heart out. Still, better to break her now than later. At least this way she could heal and move on and not lose any more time to Sam Abbott.

“April, I think it's best that you don't wait for me or expect me to return to you.”

“You aren't making sense, Sam. Of course I'll wait for you.” she had protested.

“No, you won't. April, I won't come back to you. You need to move on.” he said quietly.

“Why are you saying this?”

“Because, April, I made a promise. I promised you that you'd never have to do this. That you'd never end up like Annie Murphy. And this is the only way to keep that promise.” Abbott explained.

“Well, I'm not holding you to it so forget about it. Quit being so silly.”

“I'm holding myself to it, April. You've told me over and over that you couldn't stand not knowing where I was and whether I was alive or dead. You just went through that hell for twelve hours and it almost broke us. This is more than a year.”

“ _Almost_ broke us, Sam, _almost_. But it didn't. And what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. That's what you tell me when we're running the hills, right? And its the same. I'm stronger now. We're stronger now. I'm a soldier, remember?” April pleaded with him.

Abbott looked back at her and for a brief moment her heart let her believe she was winning him over from this nonsense he was talking. The moment was all too brief.

Sam changed his tack “April, I won't be the same person a year from now.”

April, taken off-guard, wasn't sure what he meant.

“Another year out there and the PTSD will be back worse than ever.” he explained.

“But you said they'll continue treating you wherever you are.”

“April, it won't matter. It won't help.”

“Why? Why won't it help?”

“Because I'll need it. I need the darkness. I just need to be able to control it.”

His statement confused her. April couldn't comprehend someone needing PTSD. “I don't understand.” 

“April, the things they ask of us. The things we see and do, no normal person can comprehend it. If you try to just fight against it all of the time it will break you. The only way to survive is to embrace it. Take it in and make it part of you, so you can control it. I don't know, it's hard to explain.”

“Okay, so I might not fully get what you're saying, but even if the PTSD does come roaring back, we can beat it. We know that. We did it once, we can do it again.”

“What about Harriet?” he asked.

The question stunned her. “Harriet?”

“A year from now I actually might be dangerous. Even if you're willing to take that risk, I'm not.”

Now April was at a loss. Abbott knew all her weak spots and had just struck hard at her weakest.

April felt her world slipping away and tried desperately now to recover.“Might? Maybe? You want to throw everything away for things that might be?”

Sam felt it too. But to the warrior in him it signaled that it was time to move in for the kill.

“April, it's not just for you and Harriet that we have to break this off. It's for me too.”

“You? You want this? You really want this?” April said, unconsciously echoing her words at another painful parting.

“April, To have you waiting for me would be the worst thing possible for me. I can't do my job and survive over there if my mind and my heart are here with you.”

  
  


The woman in 14B happened to glance up from her Kindle and toward the man to her right. His eyes were closed but she didn't think he was asleep. If he was, then he was doing something she had never heard of. But then, maybe _sleep-crying_ was really a thing.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've come to a fork in the road.
> 
> Way back in May (yes, MAY) when I posted the first chapter of this thing I cautioned this was not a Japril story. Guess what! I lied. Well, not really, cuz at the time I did not intend it to be. But Japril is in my blood. And apparently in many of yours, judging by the comments made. So I'm going to try something a little different. I'm going to post TWO (2) final chapters to this monster. One will, I hope, satisfy those newly minted Sampril shippers, who have had to endure a lot of Abbott angst, particularly the last few chapters. The other will be for the Japril loyalists (ie the one where I sell out poor Sam for the sake of my one true ship). I, of course, cordially invite you all to read both endings, but it's really up to you whether you do or not.   
> It will be evident which ending is which by the chapter title.


	30. Japril

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> April is left to cope with Abbott's departure and admonishment to move on and not wait, for he would not be returning.  
> As she struggles with and against his wishes, her friends rally around and support her, no one moreso than her former best friend turned husband turned exhusband.  
> As time goes on the days remaining to Abbott's tour decrease but the distance between the star-crossed lovers seems to increase and it's Jackson who fills the void Sam left behind.  
> Once April Kepner was sure Jackson Avery was her soulmate. Will it turn out she was right all along?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, Japril shippers, this ones for you.  
> Warning! If you have somehow become a dedicated Sampril shipper (and I thank you from the bottom of my heart) and would rather Jackson not be endgame for April, please skip this alternative and check out the Sampril ending.  
> Of course, I'd love to have everyone read both :-)  
> I'd also like to thank everyone reading this for sticking with such a long, drawn out affair. I never imagined it would go so long, I sincerely hope you'll find it worth your effort.  
> As always, I'd love feedback from you too. Every story is a learning experience and your comments really help with that.  
> :-)

_**-384 Days (to Abbott's Navy Commitment)** _

April's alarm went off at 5 AM. It didn't wake her up though. For it to have done that it would have been necessary that she have been asleep. That had proved to be an impossibility throughout the night. Instead she had lain in her bed, alternately cursing Sam Abbott and crying for the loss of him.

She reached out and savagely punched the button to silence the alarm. It had been set so early so she could get up and get ready for their Sunday morning run. They had planned it to arrive at Kerry Park, atop Lower Queen Anne Hill, just at dawn so they could enjoy a gorgeous sunrise. April had no idea that Sam had even bigger plans for her at Kerry Park that morning, plans that had been scuttled by orders from Washington.

Now April had no reason to jump out of bed. None at all. At least until evening when Jackson would bring Harriet home to her. She debated calling him and asking if he could bring her earlier. She couldn't face being alone all day. It just seemed to underscore her abandonment by Abbott. She hated that word for the associations it had with her past but it really seemed to fit the best of any she had considered. And through the night she had considered many choice words for Sam and what he done.

Surrendering to the fact that she wasn't going to fall asleep any time soon, she threw off her covers and went to the bathroom, forgetting to shield her eyes before turning on the light. “Crap!” she said, temporarily blinded. “Double Crap!” she said when her vision recovered and she saw her disheveled visage in the mirror. Maybe I should just go back to bed, she thought.

Instead she dragged herself out to the kitchen to put on a pot of coffee. Caffeine was the only thing that would get her through the day. And God. Caffeine and God. Was it a Presbyterian service Sunday or a Catholic Mass Sunday, she asked herself before realizing that there would no longer be a need to rotate a Mass into her worship schedule. It triggered a fresh round of tears.

She was standing at the window, cup in hand, looking out when the sun first lightened the eastern sky, then finally peeked over the horizon. A few miles away, another watched the same sunrise from his apartment balcony, but instead of a cup, he ran his fingers over a ring, and wished for the millionth time that things could be different.

  
  


When she could wait no longer, April called the person she most urgently wanted to talk to. She was surprised when Ephram Rogers answered his wife's phone.

“Oh, hi, April. Hannah's in the shower.” he yelled into the phone, necessary because of the bedlam of screaming and laughing children in the background.

“Ephram, hi. I'm sorry to call so early. Just tell Hannah to call when she has a minute.” April yelled back.

“Teresa! Get off your sister. Only pillows, remember? Sorry, April, we have major pillow hostilities commenced down here. Let me bring the phone in to her. I suspect she's just hiding out in there anyway.”

April waited a few moments and heard Hannah saying “Don't you let those kids in here. You let them loose so you get em back under control. Then, I'll come out. What? Who? Well, give me the phone then. Now go restore order before they ruin all my throw-pillows. No, that's not why they call them throw pillows.” April knew Hannah had her phone then because her voice became loud and clear. “Hi April! I swear, it's like having four kids with that guy. Half the time he's the one who starts the trouble. Anyway, I'm so happy you called. It's been weeks since we've had a fun call. I have been meaning to call you myself but every time I'm about to, someone bangs their head on the swing-set and needs stitches. We could use a good trauma surgeon around here. Pays crap but coffees good and the gossip is great! I could tell you stuff about our neighbors that would curl your toenails.”

April smiled in spite of herself. Hannah lived life a hundred miles an hour. But this call wasn't going to be a happy one. “Hannah, somethings happened... happening, and I need to talk to you.”'

“Oh April, Sam hasn't gone swimming again, has he?”

“Worse.”

“Shit! Wait, let me lock the door.” After a momentary pause, Hannah was back. “Okay, what has that idiot done now?”

April told her everything. Hannah Rogers listened. When April finished, Hannah had only one thing to say.

“I'm going to kill him. I'm going to fucking kill him.”

But she would have to wait four days for her chance.

  
  


About the same time that Abbott's plane began its final approach into Lindbergh Field, Jackson arrived at April's with Harriet.

All afternoon April had been debating how much of her current saga to share with him. She knew that it was probably already all over the hospital that Abbott had left Grey Sloan and no doubt it would soon be common knowledge that he'd left Seattle as well. Seattle and her. Obviously. No, this wasn't a case of trying to keep Sam's departure under wraps. The question before her was whether she could count on Jackson to once again be that friend to whom she could bare her soul. Right now, she knew she would benefit from some major baring. Soul baring that is.

She ruminated on the current state of her relationship with Jackson. After hitting rock bottom back in early summer, things had turned around dramatically and improved steadily. He had taken every opportunity to be supportive of both herself and Sam, But like her relationship with his mother, April harbored a little bit of wariness toward her ex based on certain events in their past.

So now she balanced that wariness with her need to talk to someone about what she was going through. She had finally decided to play it by ear and see how she felt when he got there.

It was Jackson who brought Abbott up. After hauling in Harriet's things and helping April get her settled in for her dinner, Jackson made ready to leave. “You don't have to run off right away you know. Unless you want to. Unless you have to be somewhere.” she told him before he started for the door.

Jackson seemed surprised. “Me? No, I don't have anywhere to be. I mean, I was probably just going to go home and watch Sunday Night Football, but, you know, it's not that big a deal. I can hang out for awhile.”

“Great. If you want to watch the game here, that would be fine too.” April offered.

“Cool, thanks. Maybe. I mean it is the Steelers and Raiders. Kind of an intense rivalry.”

But he made no move towards the living room and the TV. “So did you figure out the deal with Abbott resigning? I mean is it confirmed? Any idea why he would do something like that?”

April decided to take a chance on him. He's earned it, she thought. So she told him the whole story, well, almost the whole story. She didn't go into detail about Sam wanting her to move on and his reasons for it. When she finished Jackson looked at her sympathetically. “April, I'm so sorry. I can't believe they did that to him, to both of you.”

“Me either.”

“And you said he already left? That was fast. Listen, anything I can do for you, you let me know, okay.”

“Thanks, Jackson. I appreciate that.”

Once more, he got up to leave. “Okay, I'm out. See you tomorrow at work?”

“Sure.”

Jackson stood a moment. “April, you can do this. A year can go by really fast. Like I said, if there's anything you need ...”

“Thank you, Jackson.”

He went to the door and opened it but turned once more. “I don't get why he resigned though. We would have held his job for him until he got back.”

“I guess he didn't want to tie up that headcount.” April replied. She didn't want to tell Jackson that Sam wasn't coming back. She didn't want to admit it to herself.

Jackson nodded. “Makes sense. But I think he'll regret it when he comes back.”

April nodded.

“Well, good night.” he said and walked out into the night.

  
  


_**-380 Days** _

Hannah didn't get the satisfaction of murdering Abbott when they finally met at the base gate. Before she could tear into him about his treatment of April he thrust an envelope into her hands. It was addressed simply. _**April**_.

“What's in here?” she asked.

“Something to remember me by.” he had answered.

“Oh no you don't Sam Abbott! You be what she remembers you by. You come back to her.”

“She told you.”

“Of course she did. And all the lame ass reasons you gave her too.”

Sam looked off into the distance. “Hannah, sometimes the only way to love someone is to let them go.”

“That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard you say, Sam.”

He brushed off her critique and drew a small box from his pocket. “One more thing. Someday your son might need this.”

Hannah Roger's eyes widened and immediately filled with tears.

  
  


_**-348 Days** _

Sam had been deployed a month now, to God knows where, and slowly April was finding a new normal in her life. Not to say she was over Abbott. Not by any means. But she was building new routines and rhythms that didn't require the SEAL's presence.

Her work helped to occupy her time and attention. Bailey and the GSMH Board had given her the green light to hire another full-time trauma surgeon and so she had begun that bittersweet process.

It had taken two weeks before people stopped asking about Sam and if she'd heard from him. She'd always replied politely that when special forces deployed they often _disappeared_ for long periods, with no ability to communicate back home. That had seemed to satisfy them and eventually, they quit asking.

For April, the totality of Sam's _disappearance_ was a heavy burden to bear especially as she knew it was intentional on his part. As she expected, his cell service had been terminated the day the letter had indicated he'd be deployed. Not that it mattered much. She had tried to call him the day before he left but never got an answer. She knew he was determined to cut her off. And when Sam Abbott was determined to do something, he did it, as she knew only too well.

With no phone connection available, she focused her efforts on email, sending him one or more every day. She often included pictures of Harriet, figuring if he had a weak link in his armor, it would be for her daughter. But no acknowledgment came back. But if Abbott was stubborn, so was April Kepner, and so the email campaign continued.

The only real connection to Abbott that remained to her was Hannah Rogers. But even Hannah had little to tell her. She never mentioned the package Sam had left for her or the small box.

Her friends at the hospital did their best to fill in the vacuum left by Sam's departure. April had already been to dinner at Alex and Jo's place twice. Owen and Amelia ate lunch with her whenever they didn't have to be with Meghan. It seemed not a day went by when either Meredith or Maggie invited her for a drink at Joe's after work. April had joked that she was gaining back the two hundred pounds she lost with Abbott a pound at a time. Nathan had laughed but everyone else just looked sad for her.

True to his word, Jackson was there for her whenever she needed anything. No time to get her cleaning in? He stopped by to pick it up. Surgery running overtime? He had Harriet fed and bathed and ready for her momma to put her to bed when she finally got home. A Trauma symposium in New Orleans soliciting speakers for its conference in November? An announcement was forwarded to her Inbox from javery@greysloan.org. Slowly, ever so slowly, she began to trust and rely on him again.

  
  


_**-258 Days** _

At Catherine and Jackson's urging, April had submitted a proposal for the trauma symposium. To her surprise, it had been accepted. She was now on her way to New Orleans to deliver her talk on _Checklist Protocol and Emergency Room Efficiency: Saving Lives One Check at a Time_.

She was excited. Not only was this a great opportunity for her professionally, Hannah Rogers was flying to meet her so they could have a girls weekend in the Big Easy.

They were having a cocktail in the hotel bar when Abbott was finally brought up.

“No, I haven't heard a word. April, I'm sorry.”

“It's not your fault. In fact, it's probably mine. He knows I'm trying to stay connected to him through you so he's probably cutting you off too.” April answered. Recently the frequency of her emails had fallen to nothing. Never receiving an answer had taken its toll.

“Maybe. But lets not let that ruin this most excellent Vieux Carré opportunity.” Hannah answered, raising her glass.

  
  


_**-220 Days** _

“The thing is, I'm not the one who's quit. He is.”

“April,” Jackson set his beer bottle back down on the table, beside his half eaten burrito, “I'm the last person to say anything about this but I sort of see where he's coming from.”

“You're right. You are the last person to say anything about this.” April _agreed_ irritably.

“I don't know how he can do all that soldier crap he has to do if he's constantly thinking about you. Just sayin.” Jackson persisted.

“Why are you defending him? You're supposed to be on my side. Now you're the crappy friend.”

Jackson laughed. “I've been there before, you know. It's hard.”

“When have you _been there_?” she challenged him.

Jackson wasn't laughing as he answered. “While you were gone, I couldn't think about anything else. Couldn't eat. Couldn't sleep. Could barely function at work. Yeah,” he said picking his beer back up and taking a swig, “I can see where he's coming from.”

April had no answer for that.

  
  


_**-162 Days** _

April got the call early that morning. Her father had woken up that morning not feeling well. But, being the diligent farmer that he was, he nevertheless had gone out to take care of the animals. Fortunately, Karen had been watching from the kitchen window when Joe stopped halfway to the barn. He had dropped his milking bucket, turned back toward the house, and collapsed. By then, Karen had already dialed 911.

Now Joe was in surgery in a Toledo hospital. April couldn't get much from her mother other than her father had suffered a heart attack and the doctors in Toledo were inserting something called a stent in one of his coronary arteries.

April's first call, after assuring her mother she'd get there as quickly as possible, was to Bailey to let her know she would not be in the rest of the week. The next call was to Jackson to tell him she was bringing Harriet to him. Jackson told her not to worry about that and he was on his way to her.

By the time he arrived ten minutes later, he informed her that the Avery Foundation plane was fueling even now and would have her in Toledo in a matter of hours. Gratefully she accepted his assistance and he drove her to the door of the aircraft, speaking to her reassuringly all the way. He also let her know that the best cardiologist the Foundation could arrange was already on her way to Toledo. Her father would get the very best care possible.

Before boarding the plane, April hugged Jackson tightly. He did not resist.

Thanks to Karen's quick action and the outstanding care he received in a timely fashion, Joe survived with only minor damage to his heart tissue. Released two days later, he was home complaining loudly about all the fuss his five Kepner women were making over him. It didn't discourage them.

Once it was apparent that her father was going to be fine, April made plans to return to Seattle and found to her surprise that the Avery plane had remained at her disposal at the Toledo airport.

The afternoon before her departure, April sat beside her father on the porch.

“So, I understand that Jackson really came through for you, for us, I should say.” Joe ventured.

“Yes, he did. He really did.” April answered. Amid all the concern for her father she couldn't help spending a fair amount of time thinking exactly the same thing.

“But you haven't heard anything from Sam since he went away?”

“Not a peep.” she answered simply.

“That must be hard on you then.” her father told her.

“Which? The Jackson part or the Sam part?” she cocked an eyebrow toward her father.

“Knowing you, I'd guess both.” he answered.

“Yes, you do know me.” April answered after a moment. “Jackson is making it very hard to stay mad at him. Meanwhile Sam told me to move on and he's not giving me any reason not to. So, yeah, I'm not sure what I want now.”

“Well, sweetheart, you'll figure it out.” he assured her.

“I wish I was more confident of that.” she answered.

  
  


_**-121 Days** _

“Hamilton? Next month? Really?” Jackson asked.

“Yes, at the Paramount. Do you want to go?” April asked.

“With you?”

April slapped his arm. “Duh! Of course with me.”

“But you already saw it, with my mom, in Chicago.”

“I'm aware of that. But I could see it every night of the week for a year and still love it.”

“What about Harriet?”

“Already got your mom and Richard lined up to watch her.” April answered.

“So just the two of us?” Jackson asked, his eyes shining particularly brightly.

“Yeah, I thought maybe we could grab dinner beforehand too. Make a night out of it.”

Jackson looked at her carefully. He decided to take a shot. “Like a date, sort of.”

April looked back at him. They had been spending a lot of time together again lately. Old feelings were coming out of hiding in spite of her efforts to suppress them. “Sure, if you want to call it that.” she answered, her eyelashes fluttering.

  
  


_**-86 Days** _

“You know I feel kind of weird to be talking to you about this.” April confessed.

“Why? Because of Sam? Listen, April, our friendship has nothing to do with whether you're with Sam, or Jackson, or Joe Blow.” Hannah replied.

“I know, but still...” April answered.

“Look, Sam's the one who insisted he was out and you should move on. You have nothing to feel guilty about as far as I'm concerned.”

“Still, it's kind of hard not to feel like I'm cheating on him.”

“Bullshit! April Kepner, do I have to get on a plane and come up there and kick your ass? Don't you dare feel that way. Sam is an idiot who doesn't deserve you to begin with. Live your life. Be happy. Speaking of which, how did the big date go?”

April smiled into the phone. “It was okay.”

“Okay?”

“Alright, it was amazing. We had a great dinner. The play is just so frickin good and Jackson loved it. He bought the music set and we listened to it in his car on the way home.”

“Whose home?” Hannah immediately asked.

“Mine.” April answered. “And then Catherine's the next morning.”

“Aha! I knew it! You have that freshly laid lilt in your voice.” Hannah teased her, happy that April might be finding happiness again, and still disappointed that it wasn't Sam giving it to her.

  
  


_**-12 Days** _

April stopped by her apartment to pick up the mail. She didn't spend much time there any more now that she and Jackson were back together. But experience had taught her that things could change in a hurry so she had kept the apartment, just in case.

There was a padded envelope stuffed into her mail box and when she pulled it out she saw that the return address was Hannah Rogers. A few days ago, Hannah had cryptically told her she had sent her a package and that she was to call her when she received it but before she opened it.

Carrying the package inside, she set it on the counter and went to change out of her work clothes.

As she went back and forth she cast glances toward the package but willed herself to be patient, lest the contents of the package prove too distracting to the tasks she had set herself to.

Finally though, she was ready. She poured herself a glass of wine, sat at the counter, placed the package in front of her, and dialed Hannah's number.

“I'll assume you got it.” Hannah answered

“I'm looking at it right now.” April answered.

“I'm sure you've guessed who it's really from.”

“Sam.”

“Yes. He left it with me before he went over there.”

“And you never gave it to me?” April asked.

“He told me to wait until he said I could.”

“You talked to him?”

“April, he called me last week.”

“He called you.” April echoed. But he hadn't called her.

“Yes. He gave me some news and asked about you.”

“He's coming home?” April asked.

“No, he's not. He extended another year.” Hannah said quietly.

“Another year?” April felt numb.

“Because of Tarpley. Tarpley has another year. So Sam said he needed to stay and look after him.”

April nodded, forgetting that Hannah couldn't see that on the phone.

Hearing nothing from her friend, Hannah finished the thought. “April, he said you would understand that.”

And April recognized that, again, Sam was reminding her of their time together in Jordan.

“No one left behind. Of course.” April whispered.

“And he said to tell you that he was doing okay. He said something I didn't understand about keeping the darkness away. But he sounded good, April, considering...”

“You said he asked about me?” April said in a small voice.

“Yes. he asked … he asked if you were okay, if you'd moved on? April, he asked if you were back with Jackson?”

April closed her eyes. “What did you say?”

“I told him the truth. He had already told me about extending. I hope it was okay.” Hannah replied.

“Yes, of course. It's fine.”

“He said that was a good thing, that he knew Jackson had never stopped loving you. That you deserved some happiness. Then he told me I could send the package.”

The package! She had forgotten about it, listening to Hannah describe Sam's call.

“Should I open it now?” she asked, unsure if she was up to it.

“Yes. Open it.” Hannah answered. “He said it was something to remember him by” she added as April tore the envelope open. Inside she found two things. The first was a photo taken in Jordan near the end of her first three month tour. In it, five men and one woman stood together smiling at the camera in the midst of a dusty compound. Taco Ruiz, Davis, and Tarpley made up the left flank of the photo, their arms wound around each other's shoulders. On the far right, Murphy smiled his big smile. To his right Sam Abbott pretended to rest his elbow on a smiling April Kepner's shoulder.

Tearing up at the sight, April flipped the photo over and recognized Sam's neat printing.  _ The Soldiers of SEAL Team Juniper _ .

Carefully putting down the photo she reached again for the envelope and poured out the second item. The Navy Cross dropped down on the counter. April stifled a sob.

“April! Are you alright? April?” Hannah Rogers yelled into the phone.

But it would be several moments before April would be able to muster an answer.

  
  


_**One Year Later** _

April was relieved when they finally closed on the house in Queen Anne. She had remained pessimistic until the deal was done, while Jackson had maintained a steady optimism that it would all work out. It would be a stretch even for their incomes, but the place was perfect for raising their family.

Jackson had proposed eight months ago and after a six month engagement they had married. And while there hadn't been a field of butterflies, there had been a church, and a beautiful reception with Mints to Be. And they were both deliriously happy.

The idea to share a completely fresh start with a new house had been Jackson's idea. April had happily agreed, both anxious to have a place where past difficulties wouldn't haunt them. Plus this new house would offer lots of room to spread out, very important for a daughter that had become a perpetual motion machine.

And if April was correct in her suspicion that space would be needed with another Kepner-Avery on the way to keep them on their toes.

April didn't think much about Sam Abbott any more, even though Hannah Rogers had become her best friend in the world, after Jackson of course. But occasionally she would pull that photo out of her desk drawer and remember her time in Jordan and the man with whom her life had been so intertwined for awhile.

  
  


_**5 Years Later** _

April looked at her small baby bump in the hotel mirror. I'm getting too old to do this, she thought. “But, a little late to be thinking that.” she reminded her reflection.

Harriet was seven and in second grade already. Their son, Michael, had just turned four. April let Jackson believe Michael was named after Michael Jordan. In reality, she had suggested Michael to honor Michael Murphy. Now, in six months or so they would welcome their third child, well fourth really, but it was still painful to think of what might have been had Samuel survived.

This would be her sixth year presenting at the Trauma Critical Care Symposium. This year's venue, Stanford University, in Palo Alto, California, would be the biggest ever. Her presentations were always well received and as a result April was now recognized at the national level. As a result, there was a very real chance she would be offered a Chief of Surgery position somewhere and she and Jackson would have to make a difficult decision.

But that was probably a year or two away still so she wasn't going to dwell on it. Her presentation would be on the following day so today was a day for her to attend whatever other presentations piqued her interest. And to rub elbows with the other leading trauma surgeons from across the country.

April dressed and made her way down to the conference center to register and pick up a program.

With an expansive number of presentations available and no time to study the program beforehand, April was left to leaf through it and hope something caught her eye. As she was doing this, she overheard a couple of doctors nearby discussing which sessions they wanted to attend.

“I want to catch the session on _**Decision making in high-risk surgery**_ ” said one.

“So do I but it's at the same time as _**Lessons from the Battlefield:Applying Field Emergent Techniques in the ER**_.” answered his companion.

“Is that the one by the Navy guy, the one who wrote the book?”

“Yeah, the ex SEAL.”

April couldn't help herself from interrupting the two. “Excuse me, I couldn't help overhearing you talking about the sessions. Did you say there's one by an ex Navy Seal?” she asked.

“Yes, that's right. A Doctor Elbert.”

“Abbott.” corrected his friend.

“Page 4 in the program.” he suggested helpfully.

“Thank you. Thank you very much.” April told them, already flipping back to page 4.

And there it was. Doctor Samuel Abbott, Ex SEAL, Trauma surgeon, and author of a book. His presentation would be later that afternoon. April smiled. Sam had made it back. All the way back. And now April had a presentation she wanted to attend.

Sam's presentation attracted a large crowd and the room was packed. Apparently his book had been very well received and even being used as a text in some of the California schools.

April was a little surprised to realize what a skilled speaker Abbott was too. She wondered if he had always been this good or if it was a skill he had recently developed. Well, no matter, but he held the crowd's attention throughout his session and received loud and long applause upon its conclusion.

April waited for the crowd around Sam to thin before approaching him.

He was fielding the last of several questions as she walked up behind him.

“Yes, the key in the HemCon bandage is chitosan, a complex carbohydrate polymer that creates a weblike surface which helps to instantly stop blood loss. It is derived from shrimp shells and acts quickly to stop blood loss as a field bandage.” Abbott was explaining to the doctor, who was writing furiously in a notebook.

“Thank you, Doctor Abbott, fascinating stuff.”

“You're welcome.”

The other doctor retreated and Abbott gathered his notes from the podium, glancing briefly toward April, then quickly doing a double-take.

“Yes, fascinating stuff, Doctor Abbott.” April said, smiling.

A smile replaced the surprised look on Sam's face. “Thank you, Doctor Kepner. Always nice to get that kind of feedback from such a notable figure in the field.”

“Writing books now, huh?” she asked.

Sam blushed in embarrassment. “Funny story there. Started writing as therapy and found out I liked it. A clear case of an accidental one hit wonder.”

“Regardless, maybe I can get you to sign my copy?” she answered, extending the copy she had purchased earlier in the day.

“Only because you asked.” he answered. He produced a pen and wrote for a few moments on the inside cover. April received it back and read _**To my fellow soldier, April, who saved my life more than once. Sam**_

April nodded. “Thank you.”

An awkward silence followed. There was so much that could be said but neither was sure it needed to be.

“Well,” Abbott said finally, “I'd better get going. Got a plane to catch.”

'Oh? Not staying for the whole Symposium?”

“No, my wife is due any day now so I need to get home.” he answered a bit uncomfortably.

“Oh, that's so great.” April answered, genuinely pleased.

“Yeah, we're pretty excited. But according to Hannah, having babies is old hat to you.” Sam told her with a smile.

“It's always an adventure, believe me.” April replied.

“Listen, I really need to get going. April it was great seeing you.” Abbott said.

“Likewise, Sam. It's good to see you doing so well.”April told him.

Sam nodded, finishing gathering his papers as April turned and made her way toward the door.

“April.” she heard him call.

She stopped and turned. He stood beside the podium. “I'm glad you finally got the happiness you deserve.”

April smiled. “I'm glad you did too, Sam.”

 


	31. Sampril

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> April is left to cope with Abbott's departure and admonishment to move on and not wait, for he would not be returning.  
> But before he can ship out he is confronted by an angry woman who manages to talk some sense into him.  
> Which leads him briefly back to Seattle and a chance to beg April for her forgiveness and to consider waiting for his return.  
> Will twice bitten April find it in her heart to forgive Abbott one more time? Is she willing to brave a difficult year of not knowing where he is and whether he is alive or dead?  
> And if so, will he return to her, whole and ready to resume a life with her that seemed to hold so much promise?  
> Will April finally find the happiness that has so far managed to elude her?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sampril shippers, this is your ending.  
> Warning! If you can't stand the thought of Jackson not being endgame for April, please skip this alternative and check out the Japril ending.  
> Of course, I'd love to have everyone read both :-) If you do go this route you'll notice some interesting similarities :-)  
> I'd also like to thank everyone reading this for sticking with such a long, drawn out affair. I never imagined it would go so long, I sincerely hope you'll find it worth your effort.  
> As always, I'd love feedback from you too. Every story is a learning experience and your comments really help with that.  
> :-)

_**-384 Days (to Abbott's Navy Commitment)** _

April's alarm went off at 5 AM. It didn't wake her up though. For it to have done that it would have been necessary that she have been asleep. That had proved to be an impossibility throughout the night. Instead she had lain in her bed, alternately cursing Sam Abbott and crying for the loss of him.

She reached out and savagely punched the button to silence the alarm. It had been set so early so she could get up and get ready for their Sunday morning run. They had planned it to arrive at Kerry Park, atop Lower Queen Anne Hill, just at dawn so they could enjoy a gorgeous sunrise. April had no idea that Sam had even bigger plans for her at Kerry Park that morning, plans that had been scuttled by orders from Washington.

Now April had no reason to jump out of bed. None at all. At least until evening when Jackson would bring Harriet home to her. She debated calling him and asking if he could bring her earlier. She couldn't face being alone all day. It just seemed to underscore her abandonment by Abbott. She hated that word for the associations it had with her past but it really seemed to fit the best of any she had considered. And through the night she had considered many choice words for Sam and what he done.

Surrendering to the fact that she wasn't go to fall asleep any time soon, she threw off her covers and went to the bathroom, forgetting to shield her eyes before turning on the light. “Crap!” she said, temporarily blinded. “Double Crap!” she said when her vision recovered and she saw her disheveled visage in the mirror. Maybe I should just go back to bed, she thought.

Instead she dragged herself out to the kitchen to put on a pot of coffee. Caffeine was the only thing that would get her through the day. And God. Caffeine and God. Was it a Presbyterian service Sunday or a Catholic Mass Sunday, she asked herself before realizing that there would no longer be a need to rotate a Mass into her worship schedule. It triggered a fresh round of tears.

She was standing at the window, cup in hand, looking out when the sun first lightened the eastern sky, then finally peeked over the horizon. A few miles away, another watched the same sunrise from his apartment balcony, but instead of a cup, he ran his fingers over a ring, and wished for the millionth time that things could be different.

  
  


When she could wait no longer, April called the person she urgently wanted to talk to. She was surprised when Ephram Rogers answered his wife's phone.

“Oh, hi, April. Hannah's in the shower.” he yelled into the phone, necessary because of the bedlam of screaming and laughing children in the background.

“Ephram, hi. I'm sorry to call so early. Just tell Hannah to call when she has a minute.” April yelled back.

“Teresa! Get off your sister. Only pillows, remember? Sorry, April, we have major pillow hostilities commenced down here. Let me bring the phone in to her. I suspect she's just hiding out in there anyway.”

April waited a few moments and heard Hannah say “Don't you let those kids in here. You let them loose so you get em back under control. Then, I'll come out. What? Who? Well, give me the phone then. Now go restore order before they ruin all my throw-pillows. No, that's not why they call them throw pillows.” April knew Hannah had her phone then because her voice was loud and clear. “Hi April! I swear, it's like having four kids with that guy. Half the time he's the one who starts the trouble. Anyway, I'm so happy you called. It's been weeks since we've had a fun call. I have been meaning to call you myself but every time I'm about to, someone bangs their head on the swing-set and needs stitches. We could use a good trauma surgeon around here. Pays crap but coffees good and the gossip is great! I could tell you stuff about our neighbors that would curl your toenails.”

April smiled in spite of herself. Hannah lived life a hundred miles an hour. But this call wasn't going to be a happy one. “Hannah, somethings happened... happening, and I need to talk to you.”'

“Oh April, Sam hasn't gone swimming again, has he?”

“Worse.”

“Shit! Wait, let me lock the door.” After a momentary pause, Hannah was back. “Okay, what has that idiot done now?”

April told her everything. Hannah Rogers listened. When April finished, Hannah had only one thing to say.

“I'm going to kill him. I'm going to fucking kill him.”

But she would have to wait four days for her chance.

  
  


About the same time that Abbott's plane began its final approach into Lindbergh Field, Jackson arrived at April's with Harriet.

All afternoon April had been debating how much of her current saga to share with him. She knew that it was probably already all over the hospital that Abbott had left Grey Sloan and no doubt it would soon be common knowledge that he'd left Seattle as well. Seattle and her. Obviously. No, this wasn't a case of trying to keep Sam's departure under wraps. The question before her was whether she could count on Jackson to once again be that friend who she could bare her soul to. Right now, she knew she would benefit from some major baring. Soul baring that is.

She ruminated on the current state of her relationship with Jackson. After hitting rock bottom back in early summer, things had turned around dramatically and improved steadily. He had taken every opportunity to be supportive of both herself and Sam, But like her relationship with his mother, April harbored a little bit of wariness toward her ex based on certain events in their past.

So now she balanced that wariness with her need to talk to someone about what she was going through. She had finally decided to play it by ear and see how she felt when he got there.

It was Jackson who brought Abbott up. After hauling in Harriet's things and helping April get her settled in for her dinner, Jackson made ready to leave. “You don't have to run off right away you know. Unless you want to. Unless you have to be somewhere.” she told him before he started for the door.

Jackson seemed surprised. “Me? No, I don't have anywhere to be. I mean, I was probably just going to go home and watch Sunday Night Football, but, you know, it's not that big a deal. I can hang out for awhile.”

“Great. If you want to watch the game here, that would be fine too.” April offered.

“Cool, thanks. Maybe. I mean it is the Steelers and Raiders. Kind of an intense rivalry.”

But he made no move towards the living room and the TV. “So did you figure out the deal with Abbott resigning? I mean is it confirmed? Any idea why he would do something like that?”

April decided to take a chance on him. He's earned it, she thought. So she told him the whole story, well, almost the whole story. She didn't go into detail about Sam wanting her to move on and his reasons for it. When she finished Jackson looked at her sympathetically. “April, I'm so sorry. I can't believe they did that to him, to both of you.”

“Me either.”

“And you said he already left? That was fast. Listen, anything I can do for you, you let me know, okay.”

“Thanks, Jackson. I appreciate that.”

Once more, he got up to leave. “Okay, I'm out. See you tomorrow at work?”

“Sure.”

Jackson stood a moment. “April, you can do this. A year can go by really fast. Like I said, if there's anything you need ...”

“Thank you, Jackson.”

He went to the door and opened it but turned once more. “I don't get why he resigned though. We would have held his job for him until he got back.”

“I guess he didn't want to tie up that headcount.” April replied. She didn't want to tell Jackson that Sam wasn't coming back. She didn't want to admit it to herself.

Jackson nodded. “Makes sense. But I think he'll regret it when he comes back.”

April nodded.

“Well, good night.” he said and walked out into the night.

  
  


_**-380 Days** _

Hannah didn't get the satisfaction of murdering Abbott when they finally met at the base gate. Before she could tear into him about his treatment of April he thrust an envelope into her hands. It was addressed simply. _**April**_.

“What's in here?” she asked.

“Something to remember me by.” he had answered.

“Oh no you don't Sam Abbott! You be what she remembers you by. You come back to her.”

“She told you.”

“Of course she did. And all the lame ass reasons you gave her too.”

Sam looked off into the distance. “Hannah, you don't think this is killing me?”

“I know that it is. And it's killing her too. So stop treating her like some sort of child.”

“What? What do you mean?” Abbott's expression betrayed his surprise.

Hannah affected a deep masculine voice. “Oh April, don't wait for me. Because you need me to make that decision for you. Because I don't think you can make that decision for yourself.”

“That's not...” Sam started to protest but Hannah cut him off.

“She's a smart, strong, wise woman, Sam Abbott. Telling her what to do like that is just so... You know what, Sam? Fuck you! You go back to your testosterone crazed gang. You don't deserve her.”

“What? Why are you so mad at me?” Sam was stunned to have Hannah laying into him like this.

“Because Amy isn't here to be. And I assure you, Sam, she would be. She so would be.”

She thrust the package back in Sam's hands. “Here, deliver your crap yourself. I'm not helping you ruin your life.”

  
  


_**-379 Days** _

Jo Wilson looked up from the patient she was treating in Trauma 2. “Oh my God! Cross, run and get Kepner.”

“What?”

“Go get Kepner, NOW!” she told him firmly.

Cross did as he was told. April was not pleased when the intern had no idea why she was needed immediately in the ER but she hurried there anyway. Wilson was very reliable and she wouldn't have asked for her if it wasn't necessary.

Once she got there, she understood why.

“April.” he said when he saw her. He was wearing his Navy Working Uniform (NWU) which a civilian would probably want to refer to as a _cammo,_ and standing in the middle of the ER, a padded envelope in his hands. He looked happy, nervous, and a little guilty all at the same time.

April stared at him. She knew he was shipping out from Coronado the next day so it was especially puzzling that he was standing in her ER this afternoon.

“Forget something?” she asked.

Abbott glanced nervously around the room. Everything had come to a stop as staff and patients watched the drama unfolding in their midst.

Sam assessed the situation. While he would have preferred privacy for this, the look on April's face told him he'd better not make any demands of her if he wanted this mission to end in success. So public humiliation be damned, he would forge ahead. Besides, he had to be back at Whidbey Island in a little over an hour. Double-besides, after the dressing down Hannah had dealt him at the base gate the day before, this would be a walk in the park. Probably.

“Yeah, I guess I did.” he finally answered her. “I got so wrapped up in this deployment thing that I forgot that the woman I love is perfectly capable of making her own decisions and that I have no business telling her or forcing her to do things my way.”

April's eyebrows furrowed. “Hannah talked to you, didn't she?”

“She did remind me of a few things I seemed to have neglected to consider.” he admitted.

“Such as..?”

“That you are intelligent, wise, capable, strong, and smart.”

April was still looking hard at him.

“And way more than I could ever deserve.” Sam added hastily. He glanced to his right and saw Jo Wilson nodding and smiling in satisfaction. The manner of Sam's departure had somehow leaked and there wasn't a lot of good feeling toward Abbott to found at GSMH these days.

“So that's why you're here? To tell me how wonderful I am?” April inquired.

“Yes, and to beg for your forgiveness, and to tell you I love you, and to ask if you'll consider waiting for me.”

Waiting for you?” April echoed. “What about all those great reasons you had for me to move on?”

Sam realized April was not going to let him off easy. Suddenly he feared she may not let him off the hook at all.

“I realize now that it's up to you whether you can handle waiting for me to come back. And the PTSD thing? Well, you're right. We know it and we know how to beat it. Besides, I'm going over there with a whole different perspective than I did the first time. The first time I brought darkness with me. This time, well, this time I know where to find the light.”

Sam finally saw what he was hoping for. April's expression softened and her brows unknitted. But she let him know he wasn't out of the woods yet.

“And what about your last reason? That you couldn't do your job or survive with me here waiting for you.”

Sam considered a moment. “That is the toughest one. Some might say I was able to do the things I did because I had nothing to lose and they might be right, at least partly. But there's another side to that. Maybe I'll be even better now that I have something to win. April, I love you with all my heart. This will be the one of the toughest years of my life, and awful tough for you too. But if I come back and you're waiting then it will all be worth it. And if you're not, I'll know it just wasn't meant to be and I'll deal with it.”

Sam walked across the space that separated them. “April Kepner. I'm asking you to wait for me to come home to you. Will you try?”

April looked up at him. She considered what she was committing to. But her heart had made this decision for her a week ago. “Yes, Sam Abbott, I'll wait for you.”

They kissed and one person started clapping and soon the entire ER had joined in. April and Sam smiled at each other in embarrassment. Then they kissed again.

“Damn it.” Sam cried when the alarm on his watch went off. “April, I gotta go. My plane leaves in an hour and I'll be courtmartialed if I'm not on it. Here.” he thrust the package into April's hands. “Open it tonight.” He quickly kissed her again then made to leave.

“You'd better call and write.” April warned him.

“Whenever I can.” he promised. “I love you.” And then he was gone.

 

That night, April called Hannah Rogers.

“So he told you I tore him a new one, huh?” Hannah was obviously proud of the fact that she had straightened out Sam in time to save the day.

“Actually, he said you reminded him of how great I am. He didn't mention any torn anythings.”

“Well he should have because I absolutely did. Anyway, things are okay?”

“Better. He even called when he landed to apologize for running out so fast. It seems he called in a favor or something and got a ride on a flight from Coronado up to Whidbey Island and so he only had a couple of hours. But at least he made it.”

“Yeah, way better he showed up in person than doing it over the phone.” Hannah agreed.

“Yeah it was.” April seconded.

“Now what was in the package?” Hannah asked.

“I don't know. I haven't opened it yet.” April answered.

“Well, what are you waiting for? Get to it.”

“Okay, here goes.”

Inside she found two things. The first was a photo taken in Jordan near the end of her first three month tour. In it, five men and one woman stood together smiling at the camera in the midst of a dusty compound. Taco Ruiz, Davis, and Tarpley made up the left flank of the photo, their arms wound around each other's shoulders. On the far right, Murphy smiled his big smile. To his right Sam Abbott pretended to rest his elbow on a smiling April Kepner's shoulder.

Tearing up at the sight, April flipped the photo over and recognized Sam's neat printing.  _ The Soldiers of SEAL Team Juniper _ .

Carefully putting down the photo she reached again for the envelope and poured out the second item. The Navy Cross dropped down on the counter. April stifled a sob.

“April! Are you alright? April?” Hannah Rogers yelled into the phone.

But it would be several moments before April would be able to muster an answer.

  
  


_**-258 Days** _

At Catherine and Jackson's urging, April had submitted a proposal for a trauma symposium. To her surprise, it had been accepted. She was now on her way to New Orleans to deliver her talk on _Checklist Protocol and Emergency Room Efficiency: Saving Lives One Check at a Time_.

She was excited. Not only was this a great opportunity for her professionally, Hannah Rogers was flying to meet her so they could have a girls weekend in the Big Easy.

They were having a cocktail in the hotel bar when Abbott was brought up.

“He called me two days ago.” April told her friend.

“He hasn't called me in over a month.” Hannah complained.

“He can never talk long. Wherever he is, I think they are busy.”

“Well, too bad for him that he's missing this most excellent Vieux Carré opportunity.” Hannah answered, raising her glass.

April giggled. “Yeah, they probably aren't serving these wherever he is.”

  
  


_**-220 Days** _

“Was it this hard for you when I was in Jordan?”

“April,” Jackson set his beer bottle back down on the table, beside his half eaten burrito, “Why would you want to bring that up?”

“You're right. I withdraw the question.” April made a mental note to herself that Jordan would always be an uncomfortable subject with her ex.

But Jackson looked at her thoughtfully before he answered. “While you were gone, I couldn't think about anything else. Couldn't eat. Couldn't sleep. Could barely function at work. Yeah,” he said picking his beer back up and taking a swig, “It was really hard.”

April regretted asking.

  
  


_**-162 Days** _

April got the call early that morning. Her father had woken up that morning not feeling well. But, being the diligent farmer that he was, he nevertheless had gone out to take care of the animals. Fortunately, Karen had been watching from the kitchen window when Joe stopped halfway to the barn. He had dropped his milking bucket, turned back toward the house, and collapsed. By then, Karen had already dialed 911.

Now Joe was in surgery in a Toledo hospital. April couldn't get much from her mother other than her father had suffered a heart attack and the doctors in Toledo were inserting something called a stent in one of his coronary arteries.

April's first call, after assuring her mother she'd get there as quickly as possible, was to Bailey to let her know she would not be in the rest of the week. The next call was to Jackson to tell him she was bringing Harriet to him. Jackson told her not to worry about that and he was on his way to her.

By the time he arrived ten minutes later, he informed her that the Avery Foundation plane was fueling even now and would have her in Toledo in a matter of hours. Gratefully she accepted his assistance and he drove her to the door of the aircraft, speaking to her reassuringly all the way. He also let her know that the best cardiologist the Foundation could arrange was already on her way to Toledo. Her father would get the very best care possible.

Before boarding the plane, April hugged Jackson tightly. He did not resist.

Thanks to Karen's quick action and the outstanding care he received in a timely fashion, Joe survived with only minor damage to his heart tissue. Released two days later, he was home complaining loudly about all the fuss his five Kepner women were making over him. It didn't discourage them.

Once it was apparent that her father was going to be fine, April made plans to return to Seattle and found to her surprise that the Avery plane had remained at the Toledo airport at her disposal.

The afternoon before her departure, April sat beside her father on the porch.

“So, I understand that Jackson really came through for you, for us, I should say.” Joe ventured.

“Yes, he did. He really did.” April answered. Amid all the concern for her father she couldn't help spending a fair amount of time thinking exactly the same thing.

“Does Sam know you and Jackson are close again?” her father inquired.

“Yes, dad, Sam does know. And he's good with it. He likes Jackson and says it good for everyone if Jackson and I are friends. It's certainly good for Harriet.” she answered.

“True. But don't you worry about Sam getting jealous?”

“No, I don't. Sam knows I love him and am waiting for him to come home. He doesn't seem to get jealous. Now that I think about it, maybe I should be worried that he isn't jealous.” April pursed her lips.

“Sweetheart, I'd bet the barn that Sam is at least a little jealous.” her father said with a smile.

When Sam called her two days later she asked him point blank if he was jealous about her renewing her friendship with Jackson. He grudgingly admitted that he was just a little jealous, but that he would get over it once he was home with her again.

  
  


_**-121 Days** _

“Hamilton? Next month? Really?” Maggie asked.

“Yes, at the Paramount. Do you want to go?” April asked.

“With you?”

April sighed. “Duh! Of course with me.”

“But you already saw it, in Chicago, didn't you?” the cardio surgeon inquired.

“I'm aware of that. But I could see it every night of the week for a year and still love it.”

“Okay, then. I'd love it. We'll make it a girl's night and go out for dinner too.”

“Oh, that will be so much fun!” April answered.

  
  


“Again? You're going to Hamilton again without me?” Sam asked via the Satphone.

“Aww, I'm sorry. But I can't help it if you're never around to go with me.”

“Neither can I. Well, have a great time.” he replied grumpily.

“We're not going until next month.” she replied.

“Well, I may not talk to you again until then.” he told her.

“A whole month? Why?” she asked.

“Because now I am jealous.” he answered.

“Of Maggie?”

“And Hamilton.” he answered petulantly.

April laughed.

  
  


_**-86 Days** _

“Less than three months.” April said excitedly.

“Sshh! Now he's a short timer so no more talking out loud about how much time he has left.” Hannah informed her.

“What? Is that a rule?”

“Yes! You don't want to jinx him, do you?”

“Oh God, no, I didn't know that was a thing.” April wasn't really superstitious but she did have a sort of Christian Yin/Yang thing going on that led her to believe things like lying about a car accident could actually cause one.

“Safest not to talk about him at all.” advised Hannah

“Okay. Hey, do you think they'll let us on base to meet his plane?” April asked.

“APRIL!”

_**-12 Days** _

“April, this will probably be my last call to you.” he told her.

“What? Why?” she practically yelled at her phone.

Abbott smiled. “April, calm down. I leave for home tomorrow and so ...”

“WHAT? Tomorrow? But I thought you had more than a week left?” she said, tempting fate by saying it out loud.

“Technically, yes, but I'm scheduled to ship out tomorrow. I'll have a week in Coronado when I get back, then I'm on my way home to you.”

April closed her eyes. That sounded so good to her. Then her eyes popped back open in alarm.

“Stop! Stop talking or you'll jinx it.”

“You've been spending way too much time talking to Hannah ...” he began.

“Humor me! Now if you leave tomorrow, when do you get into Coronado?”

“The following morning I think. But like I said, I'll be stuck down in Coronado for a week.”

“Okay. A week in Coronado. Got it.”

  
  


_**-10 Days** _

The military transport rolled to a stop at the same spot as the one that brought Roland Tarpley back home from captivity. This time, it was the nose of the aircraft that lifted up and a number of personnel disembarked and began to walk toward the building. Admiral Szymanski was not there to meet the plane this time, but Bill Cooper was.

One of the last men off the plane was Senior Chief Petty Officer Sam Abbott, bone tired after flying halfway around the world. His exhaustion vanished however when he spotted her standing beside the building alongside Cooper.

Dropping his seabag on the tarmac he ran to her. This time, Bill Cooper was able to caution her to stay put and wait for him where she was, though it was a near thing.

Samuel Abbott swept April Kepner up in his arms and realized that, at last, he was home.

  
  


_**2 Months Later** _

They reached the crest of Lower Queen Anne Hill and entered Kerry Park just as the sun began to peak over the shoulder of Mount Ranier. It was a spectacular sunrise and April was entranced as she gulped the cool morning air.

Sensing something was up with Sam, who had been unusually quiet running this morning, she turned her face toward him and found him looking at her with an unusual expression on his face. She was puzzled by it. It wasn't his happy face, necessarily, though it wasn't sad or angry at all either. Then she had it. It was a sort of look of expectancy. She had seen it a few times but not often. She had no idea why it had appeared now.

Until he dropped to one knee and asked for her hand in marriage. Her “Yes” made the question of his expression a moot point. There was no disputing the pure joy on his countenance then. The ring fit perfectly.

Six months later they married in a church service presided over by both a Presbyterian minister and a Catholic priest. There were mints to be and everyone agreed that Harriet was the prettiest flower girl to ever skip down a churches center aisle.

Jackson Avery managed to resist any urges he may have had to speak up at this wedding and instead did an admirable job of holding his peace. It was a good thing too as Hannah Rogers had been ready to descend from her maid of honor position at a moment's notice should he have so much as blinked during that part of the ceremony.

Two months after that, April had some exciting news for Sam.

  
  


_**One Year Later** _

April was relieved when they finally closed on the house in Queen Anne. She had remained pessimistic until the deal was done, while Sam had maintained a steady optimism that it would all work out. It would be a stretch for their incomes, but the place was perfect for raising a family.

It had been Sam who targeted the Queen Anne neighborhood when they decided it was time to buy a house. April had happily agreed, finding it funny and endearing that Sam was so sentimental while she ended up being the practical one. But this house offered something for both. Proximity to the site of their engagement and lots of room to spread out, very important for a daughter that had become a perpetual motion machine and a three month old who even in the womb showed every sign of following in his sister's footsteps.

It was a rare warm summer evening in Seattle as April sat in the old rocker Sam had found and restored for her porch. Michael Murphy Kepner-Abbott drifted back and forth between sleep and sucking nourishment from her breast. She was content to let him this night. In fact, April Kepner found herself perfectly content to sit on her porch, in her rocker, watching her husband chase her laughing daughter around the yard, their new golden Labrador puppy bounding along in their wake.

  
  


_**5 Years Later** _

April looked at her small baby bump in the hotel mirror. I'm getting too old to do this, she thought. “But, a little late to be thinking that.” she told her reflection.

Harriet was eight and in third grade already. Their son, Michael, had just turned five a few months ago. Their youngest son, Joseph Roland, would be three next month. Now, in six months or so they would welcome their third child, well fourth, since Sam considered Harriet just as much his daughter as hers.

This would be her seventh year presenting at the Trauma Critical Care Symposium. This year's venue, Stanford University, in Palo Alto, California, would be the biggest ever. Her presentations were always well received and as a result April was now recognized at the national level. As a result, there was a very real chance she would be offered a Chief of Surgery position somewhere and she and Sam would have to make a difficult decision.

But that was probably a year or two away still so she wasn't going to dwell on it. Her presentation would be on the following day so today was a day for her to attend whatever other presentations piqued her interest. And to rub elbows with the other leading trauma surgeons from across the country.

April dressed and made her way down to the conference center to register and pick up a program.

With an expansive number of presentations available and no time to study the program beforehand, April was left to leaf through it and hope something caught her eye. As she was doing this, she overheard a couple of doctors nearby discussing which sessions they wanted to attend.

“I want to catch the session on _**Decision making in high-risk surgery**_ ” said one.

“So do I but it's at the same time as _**Lessons from the Battlefield:Applying Field Emergent Techniques in the ER**_.” answered his companion.

“Is that the one by the Navy guy, the one who wrote the book?”

“Yeah, the ex SEAL.”

April couldn't help herself from interrupting the two. “Excuse me, I couldn't help overhearing you talking about the sessions. Did you say there's one by an ex Navy Seal?” she asked.

“Yes, that's right. A Doctor Elbert.”

“Abbott.” corrected his friend.

“Page 4 in the program.” he suggested helpfully.

“Thank you. Thank you very much.” April told them, already flipping back to page 4.

And there it was. Doctor Samuel Abbott, Ex SEAL, Trauma surgeon, and author of a book. His presentation would be later that afternoon. April smiled. And now April had a presentation she wanted to attend.

Sam's presentation attracted a large crowd and the room was packed. Apparently his book had been very well received and even being used as a text in some of the California schools.

April was a little surprised to realize what a skilled speaker Abbott was. She wondered if he had always been this good or if it was a skill he had recently developed. Well, no matter, but he held the crowd's attention throughout his session and received loud and long applause upon its conclusion.

April waited for the crowd around Sam to thin before approaching him.

He was fielding the last of several questions as she walked up behind him.

“Yes, the key in the HemCon bandage is chitosan, a complex carbohydrate polymer that creates a weblike surface which helps to instantly stop blood loss. It is derived from shrimp shells and acts quickly making it pretty stellar as a field bandage.” Abbott was explaining to the doctor, who was writing furiously in a notebook.

“Thank you, Doctor Abbott, fascinating stuff.”

“You're welcome.”

The other doctor retreated and Abbott gathered his notes from the podium, glancing briefly toward April, then quickly doing a double-take.

“Yes, fascinating stuff, Doctor Abbott.” April said, smiling.

A smile replaced the surprised look on Sam's face. “Thank you, Doctor Kepner. Always nice to get that kind of feedback from such a notable figure in the field.”

“Writing books now, huh?” she asked.

Sam blushed in embarrassment. “Funny story there. Started writing as therapy and found out I liked it. A clear case of an accidental one hit wonder.”

“Regardless, maybe I can get you to sign my copy?” she answered, extending the copy she had purchased earlier in the day.

“Only because you asked.” he answered. He produced a pen and wrote for a few moments on the inside cover. April received it back and read _**To my fellow soldier, April Kepner, who saved my life more than once. Sam**_

April nodded. “Thank you.”

“You're very welcome.” he answered, stepping close. “Hi.” he leaned down and she raised up on her tiptoes to kiss him.

Then he looked down at her belly and put his hand on her bump. “Hi baby.”

“She thought your presentation was fascinating too.” April told him.

“She?”

“Yes. We need balance in the force.”

“Works for me. Why did you come to this session anyway? You helped me put the damn thing together.”

“I missed you.” April answered.

Sam smiled at his wife. “Because it's been two hours since we sat next to each other on the plane.”

April's eyebrows arched. “What, you didn't miss me?”

“Oh boy, I know an ambush when I see one. Lets go get some late lunch and then find an interesting session to attend.” Sam suggested.

“I've got a better idea.” April replied even more suggestively.

Sam smiled at her. “You always get so horny when you're pregnant.” he whispered.

“Are you complaining?” she asked.

“Ha! That would be a negative.” he answered, taking her by the arm and escorting her toward the elevators.

“So my horniness comes from the hormones. What's your excuse?”

“I have a super hot wife.” Sam answered.

April smiled, “Well played, Senior Chief, well played.”

  
  


 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm personally baffled by how the show took Japril from Montana to zero the way they did. I've done my best to fill in the blanks but if you're still unsettled by that, join the club. 
> 
> BTW, I'm secretly clinging to the hope our Japril ships chain is just being seriously yanked by Greys and S14 will somehow see Japril still alive. But I've learned my lesson and I'm not threatening to write anything else based on any outcomes.
> 
> As always, love to have my comment addiction fed. Yeah, I'm needy that way.


End file.
